scenario n need some kind of advice
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ok .. 1stly i find myself falling for gals who r attached .. or almost attached .. i dunno y .. cos i looked back into my past .. almost all the serious ones r those who r either taken .. or on the rocks ... y such things happen to me ??
1st gal .. my jc yr 1 bestie , but when she was taken i felt a strong compelling regret ... somemore she confessed to me tat she had liked me b4 -.-
2nd gal .. i was a 3rd party .. >.<
3rdgal .. she was on the rocks with her bf .. n confide in me tat she actually has no feelings for him ... onli go steady with him out of gratitude n impulse
so now this is the 4th gal ...
i mus admit when i got to koe her .. i had the slightest idea to court her ... but then i didnt .. jus managed to maintain a platonic rls with her ... partly becos she was attached to someone of her sec sch.. n also from past experiences of being a 3rd party .. i wouldnt wan to do it again cos i koe hw bastard it could b n painful for all 3 ppl .. so i resist n back off ... but when i saw her with 1 of my not-so-close fren together .. i was quite taken aback .. cos i didnt koe she changed bf .. prehaps in my sub consicous .. i was wondering y i didnt take the chance when i was close with her(like with some occassions in the past) ..however i nv habour any feelings for this gal when i got to koe this
so now ... she n her bf broke up .. her bf is in the army .. n due to some bad reasons .. they ended up this way .. the funny thing was .. when she confided in me ... i felt so weird ... i told myself i shldnt like her .. but i dunno y n couldnt helped it but felt slightly drawn towards her ever since the day i koe she has broken up with her bf ...
well she hasnt really gotten over with him yet ... n the bf shown repentance n is willing to patch up ... i koe i might jus fall back to the same black hole again .. hw is it tat i m attracted to gals of such kinds .. i mean those like taken or semi-attached those kinds .. -.-
so i m wondering what shld i do ... i went out with her once to study n play ... i tried to cheer up her n i found myself showering her care n prehaps some bits of affection .. shld i continue this confused courtship ?? or wat ??... i will b having a major exam soon .. i really hope tat if i were to court her ... it would be good news for me .. if not .. a total void to even attempt ... -
follow your heart
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Dear Saint,
I presume you're quite young, judging from the way you're talking about school. At this age, your "falling for attached girls" seems to be part of the experimentation that happens when you're in your teens. My guess is that eventually, you'll outgrow it after you've built up your determination Not to break up relationships. Some don't grow out of it, but I hope you do.
Right now, I would suggest since you have a major exam coming up, to avoid courting her. I know what this entails, you risk losing out to another guy if he courts her during this period & manages to win her heart. However, at this age, most are experimenting, & lasting relationships at this age, are an exception rather than the rule.
There's plenty of time for you to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You should concentrate on what's important right now.
Notwithstanding what I've said above, the choice is ultimately yours. The older ones amongst us will tell you to concentrate on your studies for now. Those who're closer to your age will advise you to go for it, or to listen to your heart. It's your choice.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Saint`:ok .. 1stly i find myself falling for gals who r attached .. or almost attached .. i dunno y .. cos i looked back into my past .. almost all the serious ones r those who r either taken .. or on the rocks ... y such things happen to me ??
1st gal .. my jc yr 1 bestie , but when she was taken i felt a strong compelling regret ... somemore she confessed to me tat she had liked me b4 -.-
2nd gal .. i was a 3rd party .. >.<
3rdgal .. she was on the rocks with her bf .. n confide in me tat she actually has no feelings for him ... onli go steady with him out of gratitude n impulse
so now this is the 4th gal ...
i mus admit when i got to koe her .. i had the slightest idea to court her ... but then i didnt .. jus managed to maintain a platonic rls with her ... partly becos she was attached to someone of her sec sch.. n also from past experiences of being a 3rd party .. i wouldnt wan to do it again cos i koe hw bastard it could b n painful for all 3 ppl .. so i resist n back off ... but when i saw her with 1 of my not-so-close fren together .. i was quite taken aback .. cos i didnt koe she changed bf .. prehaps in my sub consicous .. i was wondering y i didnt take the chance when i was close with her(like with some occassions in the past) ..however i nv habour any feelings for this gal when i got to koe this
so now ... she n her bf broke up .. her bf is in the army .. n due to some bad reasons .. they ended up this way .. the funny thing was .. when she confided in me ... i felt so weird ... i told myself i shldnt like her .. but i dunno y n couldnt helped it but felt slightly drawn towards her ever since the day i koe she has broken up with her bf ...
well she hasnt really gotten over with him yet ... n the bf shown repentance n is willing to patch up ... i koe i might jus fall back to the same black hole again .. hw is it tat i m attracted to gals of such kinds .. i mean those like taken or semi-attached those kinds .. -.-
so i m wondering what shld i do ... i went out with her once to study n play ... i tried to cheer up her n i found myself showering her care n prehaps some bits of affection .. shld i continue this confused courtship ?? or wat ??... i will b having a major exam soon .. i really hope tat if i were to court her ... it would be good news for me .. if not .. a total void to even attempt ... -
humm feel that she is just using u..
lets see her actions
she got bf A and she dump him for guy B
now she breaks with him but wants to patch back,
This type of girls better be friends can liao,,,
You never know when she will dump you ever if u got any chance to be wirh her..
Save the heartache bro. exam marks will last u a life time but she will not. -
I went out with a girl who is attached...same story..she dun like her bf, etc.
But I avoid her after knowing she has a bf... its not nice to be a third party. Also even if my fren ex gf is chio, I wont chase them. There is a rule where we dont chase our friends ex gfs, no matter how close they are. Live by these rules n u will have less problems. -
Can tell you are still not so mature...Originally posted by Saint`:ok .. 1stly i find myself falling for gals who r attached .. or almost attached .. i dunno y .. cos i looked back into my past .. almost all the serious ones r those who r either taken .. or on the rocks ... y such things happen to me ??
1st gal .. my jc yr 1 bestie , but when she was taken i felt a strong compelling regret ... somemore she confessed to me tat she had liked me b4 -.-
2nd gal .. i was a 3rd party .. >.<
3rdgal .. she was on the rocks with her bf .. n confide in me tat she actually has no feelings for him ... onli go steady with him out of gratitude n impulse
so now this is the 4th gal ...
i mus admit when i got to koe her .. i had the slightest idea to court her ... but then i didnt .. jus managed to maintain a platonic rls with her ... partly becos she was attached to someone of her sec sch.. n also from past experiences of being a 3rd party .. i wouldnt wan to do it again cos i koe hw bastard it could b n painful for all 3 ppl .. so i resist n back off ... but when i saw her with 1 of my not-so-close fren together .. i was quite taken aback .. cos i didnt koe she changed bf .. prehaps in my sub consicous .. i was wondering y i didnt take the chance when i was close with her(like with some occassions in the past) ..however i nv habour any feelings for this gal when i got to koe this
so now ... she n her bf broke up .. her bf is in the army .. n due to some bad reasons .. they ended up this way .. the funny thing was .. when she confided in me ... i felt so weird ... i told myself i shldnt like her .. but i dunno y n couldnt helped it but felt slightly drawn towards her ever since the day i koe she has broken up with her bf ...
well she hasnt really gotten over with him yet ... n the bf shown repentance n is willing to patch up ... i koe i might jus fall back to the same black hole again .. hw is it tat i m attracted to gals of such kinds .. i mean those like taken or semi-attached those kinds .. -.-
so i m wondering what shld i do ... i went out with her once to study n play ... i tried to cheer up her n i found myself showering her care n prehaps some bits of affection .. shld i continue this confused courtship ?? or wat ??... i will b having a major exam soon .. i really hope tat if i were to court her ... it would be good news for me .. if not .. a total void to even attempt ...
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hmmm in wat way pls enlighten ...Originally posted by Elfred:Can tell you are still not so mature... -
precisely ... but i jus cant helped it cos we got too close together ... haha went out almost everyday ,study , bla bla .. n her actions r jus sweet sometimes ... but still .. i didnt told her tat i like her ... cos my fren still in process of trying to woo her back ... well this 3rd gal is rather complicated ... took me quite sometime to get overOriginally posted by alexkusu:I went out with a girl who is attached...same story..she dun like her bf, etc.
But I avoid her after knowing she has a bf... its not nice to be a third party. Also even if my fren ex gf is chio, I wont chase them. There is a rule where we dont chase our friends ex gfs, no matter how close they are. Live by these rules n u will have less problems. -
hmm i assumed u r saying gal 4 ... actually its not another guy .. its the same bf that dumped her ... its the bf dumped her de ... they encounter probs .... according to the gal ... she said the bf has some serious temper probs .. he will pick a quarrel at slightest thing ... then somemore he in army .. quite stress ... so he go dump her -.- ...Originally posted by drx:humm feel that she is just using u..
lets see her actions
she got bf A and she dump him for guy B
now she breaks with him but wants to patch back,
This type of girls better be friends can liao,,,
You never know when she will dump you ever if u got any chance to be wirh her..
Save the heartache bro. exam marks will last u a life time but she will not. -
i appreciate ur detailed advice ... i think wat u said is true .. kinda afraid some1 will take her again ... its like wth lor... when everytime u had the prefect chance ... then u nv take it ... the next moment its gone ... lol my grades damn bad now .. really hav to concentrate on it oso ...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Dear Saint,
I presume you're quite young, judging from the way you're talking about school. At this age, your "falling for attached girls" seems to be part of the experimentation that happens when you're in your teens. My guess is that eventually, you'll outgrow it after you've built up your determination Not to break up relationships. Some don't grow out of it, but I hope you do.
Right now, I would suggest since you have a major exam coming up, to avoid courting her. I know what this entails, you risk losing out to another guy if he courts her during this period & manages to win her heart. However, at this age, most are experimenting, & lasting relationships at this age, are an exception rather than the rule.
There's plenty of time for you to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You should concentrate on what's important right now.
Notwithstanding what I've said above, the choice is ultimately yours. The older ones amongst us will tell you to concentrate on your studies for now. Those who're closer to your age will advise you to go for it, or to listen to your heart. It's your choice.
FeowFeow -
it is confusedOriginally posted by coffeeortea:follow your heart -
Originally posted by Saint`:ok .. 1stly i find myself falling for gals who r attached .. or almost attached .. i dunno y .. cos i looked back into my past .. almost all the serious ones r those who r either taken .. or on the rocks ... y such things happen to me ??
1st gal .. my jc yr 1 bestie , but when she was taken i felt a strong compelling regret ... somemore she confessed to me tat she had liked me b4 -.-
2nd gal .. i was a 3rd party .. >.<
3rdgal .. she was on the rocks with her bf .. n confide in me tat she actually has no feelings for him ... onli go steady with him out of gratitude n impulse
so now this is the 4th gal ...
i mus admit when i got to koe her .. i had the slightest idea to court her ... but then i didnt .. jus managed to maintain a platonic rls with her ... partly becos she was attached to someone of her sec sch.. n also from past experiences of being a 3rd party .. i wouldnt wan to do it again cos i koe hw bastard it could b n painful for all 3 ppl .. so i resist n back off ... but when i saw her with 1 of my not-so-close fren together .. i was quite taken aback .. cos i didnt koe she changed bf .. prehaps in my sub consicous .. i was wondering y i didnt take the chance when i was close with her(like with some occassions in the past) ..however i nv habour any feelings for this gal when i got to koe this
so now ... she n her bf broke up .. her bf is in the army .. n due to some bad reasons .. they ended up this way .. the funny thing was .. when she confided in me ... i felt so weird ... i told myself i shldnt like her .. but i dunno y n couldnt helped it but felt slightly drawn towards her ever since the day i koe she has broken up with her bf ...
well she hasnt really gotten over with him yet ... n the bf shown repentance n is willing to patch up ... i koe i might jus fall back to the same black hole again .. hw is it tat i m attracted to gals of such kinds .. i mean those like taken or semi-attached those kinds .. -.-
so i m wondering what shld i do ... i went out with her once to study n play ... i tried to cheer up her n i found myself showering her care n prehaps some bits of affection .. shld i continue this confused courtship ?? or wat ??... i will b having a major exam soon .. i really hope tat if i were to court her ... it would be good news for me .. if not .. a total void to even attempt ...
Usually when that happens to people I know, I will study him/her in details, as part of my everyday study. Somehow, you didn't choose or desire to be in that kinda of relationship, but heaven seemed to make sport of you.
A slight shift of preception: it may not be YOU with the tendency of falling for taken/semi-attached girls, rather, it seemed like unlearned lesson repeating its cycle. You said that you encounter situation where regrets sinks in, then your girl became unavailable and pressure you into a third party status.
Have you truely learn the pain of thorns when plucking the roses? I doubt so. You merely know the pain, but the deterrence is not enough for you to abstance.
Karmic relationship - created a carrot dangling infront of donkey situation. You are lured forward.
Seriously, I do not have much issues about people chasing after others who are currently attached. But what is accompanied by such relationship is usually a price, without a pricetag. We never know the extend of how much it will cost us until we decide to enter into that zone and move towards that direction.
Such is but self discovery and knowledge, on what is the best route to steer in Love.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
quite chim lol ... n i dont quite catch wat u tryin to say .. haha ... issit to put it simply .. u trying to say tat its all up to me ?? Usually when that happens to people I know, I will study him/her in details, as part of my everyday study. Somehow, you didn't choose or desire to be in that kinda of relationship, but heaven seemed to make sport of you.
A slight shift of preception: it may not be YOU with the tendency of falling for taken/semi-attached girls, rather, it seemed like unlearned lesson repeating its cycle. You said that you encounter situation where regrets sinks in, then your girl became unavailable and pressure you into a third party status.
Have you truely learn the pain of thorns when plucking the roses? I doubt so. You merely know the pain, but the deterrence is not enough for you to abstance.
Karmic relationship - created a carrot dangling infront of donkey situation. You are lured forward.
Seriously, I do not have much issues about people chasing after others who are currently attached. But what is accompanied by such relationship is usually a price, without a pricetag. We never know the extend of how much it will cost us until we decide to enter into that zone and move towards that direction.
[b]Such is but self discovery and knowledge, on what is the best route to steer in Love.
Cheers [/b]
rite now i m quite confused cos i found myself starting to be attracted to her ... i mean .. its quite fast .. really ... jus when i heard she is single again .. i felt something -.- ... so much so to the extend tat when we went out the next day .. i really treat her like my gf ... treat her stuffs, touch her hair , shower affection .. i even took her to the arcade n play tat "fishing for the plush toys" machine ... each try $1 tat one ... n i actually spent $50++ jus to cheer her up.. n after tat i felt good n not heart ache ...even though we didnt managed to fish something out -.-
.. omg ... then m i starting to "hallucinating" .. like ... my mind will start to float n think of ways on hw to woo her ... u koe wat i mean ?? it is abit getting out of control ... jus barely a few days
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Originally posted by Saint`:
Whomever you could be attracted to, others could be attracted to as well.
ok .. 1stly i find myself falling for gals who r attached .. or almost attached .. i dunno y .. cos i looked back into my past .. almost all the serious ones r those who r either taken .. or on the rocks ... y such things happen to me ??
Besides, girls tend to glow, smile more and dress better when they are in love, so maybe you wouldn't have even given them a second glance if they were not attached in the first place.
Sometimes, it could be simply a case of wanting what you can't have -- a mix of puerile curiosity and desire -- as could be seen from kids playing with toys in many kindergarten classes: Each kid picks the toy which he or she wants to play with, most are content with his or her own choice, but there would often be at least one kid who sees what another kid has and cries for the other kid's toy. -
Really very chim ar?Originally posted by Saint`:quite chim lol ... n i dont quite catch wat u tryin to say .. haha ... issit to put it simply .. u trying to say tat its all up to me ??
rite now i m quite confused cos i found myself starting to be attracted to her ... i mean .. its quite fast .. really ... jus when i heard she is single again .. i felt something -.- ... so much so to the extend tat when we went out the next day .. i really treat her like my gf ... treat her stuffs, touch her hair , shower affection .. i even took her to the arcade n play tat "fishing for the plush toys" machine ... each try $1 tat one ... n i actually spent $50++ jus to cheer her up.. n after tat i felt good n not heart ache ...even though we didnt managed to fish something out -.-
.. omg ... then m i starting to "hallucinating" .. like ... my mind will start to float n think of ways on hw to woo her ... u koe wat i mean ?? it is abit getting out of control ... jus barely a few days
/me rub chin.
Cheers -
i think i seem to agree veri much on this ... usually its becos of wat i cant hav ... hai ...Originally posted by Tuatau:Whomever you could be attracted to, others could be attracted to as well.
Besides, girls tend to glow, smile more and dress better when they are in love, so maybe you wouldn't have even given them a second glance if they were not attached in the first place.
Sometimes, it could be simply a case of wanting what you can't have -- a mix of puerile curiosity and desire -- as could be seen from kids playing with toys in many kindergarten classes: Each kid picks the toy which he or she wants to play with, most are content with his or her own choice, but there would often be at least one kid who sees what another kid has and cries for the other kid's toy.