irritating people? how to deal with them
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hi guys, not really an urgent and serious problem. just felt like asking you guys how to deal with such situations, and people.
i rmb once i post about this irritating guy who stick around with my group of friends as if his part of our group. but than no one wants him in (especially me), but he, being super thick-skinned just blend in and everyone just sui bian and do nothing but talk behind his back. i'm not those type who like to backstab people alot, when i don't like someone, i usually make it known to everyone. even not directly to that person itself, i do drop hints to the person that im not liking what he is doing. and even when i talk behind someone's back, i do repeat it (like a rant) to make sure the "victim" is aware that i'm saying things about him.
probably im the more "fussy" type of people, and get irritated easily.
on friday we had a movie outing. it was supposed to be an ex class outing. all of us were from the same class last year (same, now still). and i told the organiser, " hey don't call that XXX, he very irritating, don't like to see his face, will make the outing dulan...etc..etc..". he agreed. but after some discussions with other friends and classmates we decided to actually inform him. (he didn't know about all the discussion we had about whether to call him anot). i was like "ummm..ok...nvm, ANYWAY since it's a CLASS outing not our grp outing, so why not". here i was prepared to be forgiving and give him a chance and not to boycott him.
he came, crapping with all of us, AS IF he was part of our group. my friends were just showing him face by laughing at what he say. and some of my friends are actually concerned with what people call "ren yuan" or something like that. they are over concerned about making friends with everybody and not enemies. as in, their policy is, " friends are better than enemies" they don't care whether the person is lame, weird, or unattractive. i was annoyed but i kept quiet. nothing i can do.
he is a type of person that is selfish, likes attention, but don't want to help anybody. and when everytime got outing, his the first one to raise hand and say " i'm in ", and just appear. then sometimes he just vanish when everyone is doing something halfway.
believe it anot, im almost 100% sure that what i say is factual. i have some incidents to prove it right.
during my sec 1 and 2 days, i was quite close to him. as in, he was my friend. yep, at least a friend. whenever i wanted to borrow phone from him, he didn't want to lend. and even charge me 20 cents to use his phone. that was a ripoff. but since i was desperate and didn't bring my phone (no public fones nearby since it was the busstop outside school). i closed one eye and decided to forget about the matter. i'm not that petty.
aside from that, he is extremely money-minded, likes to take advantage of people.
once i remember him selling me a deck of naruto cards. which he had opened, at the actual price. he just asked me over sms "do you wan this and that". i was about to get one anyway so i just said yes. and end up, he gave me an opened deck and didn't even give me the instruction manuel that came with it. again, i closed on eye.
until now i have yet to pay him. why? he conned me into believing that he is actually going to play the game itself, since naruto card game is quite new. and i believed. thinking that maybe i should take up the game itself. but infact, i grew suspicious of his motives. i guessed that he sold me the deck because he bought it and realised no one was playing it, or he found it somewhere, bought it at a ubberly cheap price and wanted some quick cash.
and worst, once there was a sleep-over at my place. and i woke up to find 20 bucks missing from my wallet. the other two guys that stayed over stayed awake and slept at the same time as me. while this guy, (the irritating fellow), woke up when we were sleeping and slept when we were awake. i grew suspicious, but since i had no solid evidence..., i couldn't do anything against him. i know that the two other guys did not do anything as they are my VERY close friends.
i thought he just wanted to get back the money, since i had not paid him for the naruto card. i closed the case. but soon he was spreading around that i owe people money and never return. i was like "wtf"....and until now i have not even thought of returning him the money. i considered it was "paid back".
and aisde from all these, he appeared at the stayover at my house, (before t hat it was a class outing and close friends stayed over becoz sometimes it was too late), and he came. the day before we were even having an argument.
he came into my room and dropped his bag. i said, put your bag downstairs. he said "donwan". and giving me a very pissed off look. i was" wtf ". and in my heart i'm thinking "hey this is my house". AGAIN I CLOSED ONE EYE, and im thinking i'm being too nice here.
and finally...
after the movie yesterday me and two other friends decided to go play LAN. he just TAGGED ALONG as if it was natural too. at the bus stop i told him " hey can you don go with us " NICELY, but he pretended not to hear.
nice, i'm getting abit worked up. some people just piss you off sooo much. there are ALOT of other incidents which happened. and it was almost like a passive form of irritation.
what can i do about this? im thinking of making a VERY DIRECT confrontation with him, infront of all my friends declaring that we have NOTHING to do with him...and tell him to get lost. not that our grp of friends are not open, we are quite social with other people and have friends that are not so close which we sometimes eat together, joke together. we do accept people, but not when they are selfish, self-centered, and only know how to make use of people. -
personally, u have problems as well.
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having a friend is always way better than having an enemy. speak to him nicely.
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Irritate them back..
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do this
HK, LK, LP, HP 
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i think you should have a good talk with him. tell him how you feel about his actions and attitude. if after that he still don't change...you should know what to do lah.
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One things for sure...
He's the kind of guy, i would indefinately whack.
But on a lighter note,
He seems spoiled and full of himself,
Do yourself a favour,
Forget about him, and just be a nice gentlemen.
People will know the real you.
If he's tat stuck up, i suggest you just ignore him.
How is he anyway ?LOL -
Hmm....
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can summarise?
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i think both of you are just lame asses.
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i strongly feel tat u shld have a gd talk with this guy loh, no point juz keep saying u dun like him is aso no use loh.........maybe sit down have a chat with him since he is such a attention seeker, who noes maybe he himself actually have some personal problems or wat we aso dunno...........dun condemn him so badly yet bah..........give him a chance by having a talk with him........juz like wat we all say have more friends better than more enemies...........
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can you summarise instead of unleash this barrage of torture
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he do not like the guy and wants him out of the group. But the group refuse to kick him out and he had to bear with it.
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theres only 1 way to deal with thick-skinned pple like him... tell him straight, dont beat around the bush.
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In the 1st place, regarding the stolen $, are you absolutely sure it was him who took the $? You've given him a sentence without trial. Sure, you may already know in your heart that it's him, but what if he turned out to be honest based on his body language whilst you're questioning him?
2ndly, if he really took the $ from you, surely he would've let the matter of the unpaid cards rest? Why would he bother to tell others that he had Not been paid?
3rdly, if at that point in time, you felt that he had given you a rotten deal with those cards, couldn't you have told him that you were missing an instruction manual & the deck was opened? You could've told him that you didn't want it, or you would like a discount. Most people, who're Not petty, will simply ignore it based on goodwill, & just distance themselves from this kinda person. However, you chose to keep the cards AND Not pay him. Who's right & who's wrong? Hard to tell. Who's more wrong? Hard to tell also, but I would say you.
4thly, even if you don't like him, you don't have the right to take away others' choice to invite him for outings. If you're so unhappy about them inviting him, you have a choice whether or Not to turn up. You could've simply Not showed your face. Or, if you had to show your face, leave as soon as diplomatically possible.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:hi guys, not really an urgent and serious problem. just felt like asking you guys how to deal with such situations, and people.
i rmb once i post about this irritating guy who stick around with my group of friends as if his part of our group. but than no one wants him in (especially me), but he, being super thick-skinned just blend in and everyone just sui bian and do nothing but talk behind his back. i'm not those type who like to backstab people alot, when i don't like someone, i usually make it known to everyone. even not directly to that person itself, i do drop hints to the person that im not liking what he is doing. and even when i talk behind someone's back, i do repeat it (like a rant) to make sure the "victim" is aware that i'm saying things about him.
probably im the more "fussy" type of people, and get irritated easily.
on friday we had a movie outing. it was supposed to be an ex class outing. all of us were from the same class last year (same, now still). and i told the organiser, " hey don't call that XXX, he very irritating, don't like to see his face, will make the outing dulan...etc..etc..". he agreed. but after some discussions with other friends and classmates we decided to actually inform him. (he didn't know about all the discussion we had about whether to call him anot). i was like "ummm..ok...nvm, ANYWAY since it's a CLASS outing not our grp outing, so why not". here i was prepared to be forgiving and give him a chance and not to boycott him.
he came, crapping with all of us, AS IF he was part of our group. my friends were just showing him face by laughing at what he say. and some of my friends are actually concerned with what people call "ren yuan" or something like that. they are over concerned about making friends with everybody and not enemies. as in, their policy is, " friends are better than enemies" they don't care whether the person is lame, weird, or unattractive. i was annoyed but i kept quiet. nothing i can do.
he is a type of person that is selfish, likes attention, but don't want to help anybody. and when everytime got outing, his the first one to raise hand and say " i'm in ", and just appear. then sometimes he just vanish when everyone is doing something halfway.
believe it anot, im almost 100% sure that what i say is factual. i have some incidents to prove it right.
during my sec 1 and 2 days, i was quite close to him. as in, he was my friend. yep, at least a friend. whenever i wanted to borrow phone from him, he didn't want to lend. and even charge me 20 cents to use his phone. that was a ripoff. but since i was desperate and didn't bring my phone (no public fones nearby since it was the busstop outside school). i closed one eye and decided to forget about the matter. i'm not that petty.
aside from that, he is extremely money-minded, likes to take advantage of people.
once i remember him selling me a deck of naruto cards. which he had opened, at the actual price. he just asked me over sms "do you wan this and that". i was about to get one anyway so i just said yes. and end up, he gave me an opened deck and didn't even give me the instruction manuel that came with it. again, i closed on eye.
until now i have yet to pay him. why? he conned me into believing that he is actually going to play the game itself, since naruto card game is quite new. and i believed. thinking that maybe i should take up the game itself. but infact, i grew suspicious of his motives. i guessed that he sold me the deck because he bought it and realised no one was playing it, or he found it somewhere, bought it at a ubberly cheap price and wanted some quick cash.
and worst, once there was a sleep-over at my place. and i woke up to find 20 bucks missing from my wallet. the other two guys that stayed over stayed awake and slept at the same time as me. while this guy, (the irritating fellow), woke up when we were sleeping and slept when we were awake. i grew suspicious, but since i had no solid evidence..., i couldn't do anything against him. i know that the two other guys did not do anything as they are my VERY close friends.
i thought he just wanted to get back the money, since i had not paid him for the naruto card. i closed the case. but soon he was spreading around that i owe people money and never return. i was like "wtf"....and until now i have not even thought of returning him the money. i considered it was "paid back".
and aisde from all these, he appeared at the stayover at my house, (before t hat it was a class outing and close friends stayed over becoz sometimes it was too late), and he came. the day before we were even having an argument.
he came into my room and dropped his bag. i said, put your bag downstairs. he said "donwan". and giving me a very pissed off look. i was" wtf ". and in my heart i'm thinking "hey this is my house". AGAIN I CLOSED ONE EYE, and im thinking i'm being too nice here.
and finally...
after the movie yesterday me and two other friends decided to go play LAN. he just TAGGED ALONG as if it was natural too. at the bus stop i told him " hey can you don go with us " NICELY, but he pretended not to hear.
nice, i'm getting abit worked up. some people just piss you off sooo much. there are ALOT of other incidents which happened. and it was almost like a passive form of irritation.
what can i do about this? im thinking of making a VERY DIRECT confrontation with him, infront of all my friends declaring that we have NOTHING to do with him...and tell him to get lost. not that our grp of friends are not open, we are quite social with other people and have friends that are not so close which we sometimes eat together, joke together. we do accept people, but not when they are selfish, self-centered, and only know how to make use of people. -
Since you play yu gi oh, why not settle this matter over a game of darkness?
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I lent you my Dragon Deck.. lol... Specially Designed for The Ultimate Blue Eyes Rider.
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Dark Magician Deck with Chaos Soldier is much better.Originally posted by Sekundes:I lent you my Dragon Deck.. lol... Specially Designed for The Ultimate Blue Eyes Rider. -
just be straightforward tell them ...
eh u damn fucking irritating fuck off la nobody likes u
or u dun go out wiht ur that grp of frens loh..
there are no true frens in this world. -
somethings to clarify:
my group of friends, invite him noy because they like him. they invited him because it was a "class" outing, so anyone from the class would be automatically invited. I had NO say in that.
my group of friends, some are neutral and some don't like him as well. especially from close friends. overall, his relationship is sour with our group of friends. but like times during recess he just comes and SIT WITH US. you don't expect us to move away right. on somedays he keeps quiet and finish his food, we ignore him. like cold war. but on some days he start getting noisy and start telling lame jokes and laugh at what other people say. everyone give him the "cold" look. but he don't care, and just "pretend" to be part of us. he recently start to flirt with girls from another class, and so maybe he didn't want other people to think that he had no friends. hence, making use of us. this is my assumption.
settle this with a game of darkness? haha, i admire your sense of humour. and it reminded me of one event, when i was sort of his "friend". ( we had the same interest, so obviously i clicked with him, until i found out about his character..., then things turned sour). we took part in a tournament in a small shop. i forgot the location. and somehow we faced each other in the first round. on the 3rd game (deciding game) of our game. he made a BLUNDER himself and wanted to redo it like 2 turns later. of course, it is OBVIOUSLY illegal to do so. he even called the judge over (aka the storeowner), thinking that he will side with him, because he was the one who brought me over to the shop and he was friends with the owner. again, this is an assumption. fortunately, the storeowner was FAIR and declared that my friend could not redo his mistake. i was of course relived. im quite vague about what happened. i remembered that defeated him in the game and he gave me the very PISSED off look. i got knocked out at the later round, and he became sour towards me, and start rambling sarcasticly about things like " see if i beat u in the first round i would have won", traits from a sore-loser. i beat him, whether i lose in the later rounds anot, its MY business. and he MADE A BIG FUSS ABOUT IT. each other time i meet him, i would always win against him, and somehow when among our group of friends we start talking about yugioh, he would get sour and rant about how lousy i am and how good he is..? something is wrong. sore loser, stuck-up...
about the deck of naruto cards. i admit i din handle it well. i am very SURE he took my 20 bucks, but well. i have no evidence. the reason why i did not take the instruction etc from him is because he claims he is playing it, and claims he knows japanese and wants to translate it. FUNNY, end up he did nothing about it. then he said he is goin to buy the other counterpart deck and play with me. i believed him, but it turned out to be a trap, and i got conned.
and one more thing, another interesting fact. during his sec 2 days he had no friends at all. and I, (yes me) introduced him to our group of friends. everyone didn't like him, because his like antisocial in our class (last time), and i was the one who goodheartedly persuaded everyone to accept him. but now i wan to kick him out. ironic. i gave him a chance, he ruined it. -
Just tell him off in his face.
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If it were me, i'll just tell him straight that i dun like him, and if he still tags along with me, i'll throw him. Only when you instill fear in him, will you gain control.
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have u talked to him yet and told him ur views?
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no point talking if your group cannot take action against 1 person, maybe they think you are the one who try to create problem
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wa. when i read your post, i was a bit shocked at first.
i thought you are my friend ar. hahaha
ok. i have a very very very similar experience like yours.
i have a group of friends who likes to accept anyone who looks very ke lian and have no friends.
my story is this.
during the second year, we got into a new class together. and there was this guy in our new class who introduced himself to us and keep talking to us like very friendly like that. initially, i thought nothing of it. like, he so friendly, then i also friendly back to him lor.
then after that, when he told us his name, i was like, "eh? this name very familiar hor? where have i heard it before ar?" and i thought for many days u know.
until one day i went to my sec sch fren's blog (he's in the same course as me as well) and he was writing about this new guy in my new class! coz last year they were in the same class. then i remembered. this guy ar...he is notorious for being backstabber and he likes to stick damn close to ppl one. very bu yao lian de. and he did many bad things to my sec sch friend too. my sec sch fren, ironically, was the one who asked everyone to befriend him too.
so i was wondering should i tell my friends about it? i mean, i don't want to spoil any friendships also by creating rumours and gossip, although, the whole course of ppl also know about this guy and everyone don't want to be friends with him.
so i didn't say anything.
as days pass by, he really become more and more bu yao lian and all his true colours showed. he liked to behave as though he's part of the group. and he likes to say stupid things like when i bought food and shared with everyone, there was this guy friend who say he don't want to eat ma. then i just play play force feed him, tell him he must eat ar! then the bu yao lian said, "see how much she loves you." in a very sarcastic disgusting manner lor. irritating.
then he likes to sit in the middle of all of us. he will just purposely squeeze in between us even though there is no space for another person le lor. or he will just put away somebody's bag and sit next to us. very no manners!
all the stupid things he says and things he do soon got on our nerves very much.
i remember one incident.. my friends and i were chatting about the kind of guys we like right...
then i say, "oh..i like guys who are fair and skinny. and cannot wear specs."
then he said, "wa. why you look at appearance one?"
then i said, "don't everybody look at appearance first?" <then he said a lot of nonsense about how shallow i am to look only at appearance.
then finally i got very fed up. i said, "ya. i look at appearance one can! that's why i don't like you!"
waaa....at that time, i think everyone was stunned when i said that. then i felt guilty when i saw his face, like still trying to smile like that. i was about to apologise when he suddenly laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.
machiam siao lor.
then i thought he would leave us alone le. but NO! he stuck to us closer than ever!
so there was this second incident.
i was waiting for my friend and my classmates, seeing me so ke lian, waiting alone, they waited with me too. so that irritating guy also waited with us la..coz he don't want to be left out of things what.
then suddenly he said, "what are we waiting for huh? why she cannot wait by herself?"
then i said, "i also nv ask you to wait. you can go first one what." i said it in a very irritating manner...>"< very mean i admit.
then he laughed and said, "waa..why you so fierce one."
i said, "coz i don't like you and i see no point in being nice to yoU!"
then i walked away.
from that day onwards, i think he was quite scared of me. he still sticks with my group of frens but he avoids me whenever possible. which is good. i was wondering how many times must i tell him i dislike him before he get my message. so maybe u can try that.