how to win her back
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jus yest, my gf has decided to call off our relationship and we came to a consensus that its best for us to remain as friends. reasons being
1) her feelings for me has died
2) r/s became stagnant
3) she dont see any sparks in the r/s
4) no passion in the r/s
5) i m not affectionate enough
i not trying to salvage the r/s jus for the sake of getting back together. i do still have feelings for her. i want to make it up to her and put in my utmost effort to make this work. i want to win her back. anyone has experience this before and ever succeed in winning your ex back? pls do do advise. thanks. -
Get A Life.
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dump her.
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ignore her for the time being. I bet she'll contact you back within 2-3weeks.Originally posted by mink77:jus yest, my gf has decided to call off our relationship and we came to a consensus that its best for us to remain as friends. reasons being
1) her feelings for me has died
2) r/s became stagnant
3) she dont see any sparks in the r/s
4) no passion in the r/s
5) i m not affectionate enough
i not trying to salvage the r/s jus for the sake of getting back together. i do still have feelings for her. i want to make it up to her and put in my utmost effort to make this work. i want to win her back. anyone has experience this before and ever succeed in winning your ex back? pls do do advise. thanks. -
maybe she need space .. but cannot really tell
there's a lot of missin' info and even if we tel you "how to" it might not work for every case. But here's some insight to r/s and I've made a lot of assumptions about you (I am assuming you are a nice kid, who is not extermely stingy and had tried his best. OK. Some guys just don't even try)
Since you are still keen on her, do not just disappear. Do hang around and ask her out and do things together if you can. Tell her you only agree to a time out, not a break. But don't be so pushy as to corner her.
Those are are hugh list she dumped on you but does she has specific examples of each of the things she stated or did she also contribute to the situation.
Now for each of the points she listed, do you have counter points to state that disprove of what she says. EG: She said there's is no spark. Ask her when she feels that spark - maybe she thinks when you give her flowers. Now, you can also say, if you give her flower every day, then it becomes so common that receiving flowers become stale and boring... ie no spark.
If you ask me.. My guess is her expectation and the way she sees the interaction between you 2 in the relationship. EG : You try to be caring in your own way but she does not see/recognise your action as caring ... women are drama mama creatures.
Therefore you both have to recognise the different ways the two sexes communication and interact.. assuming will result in one part becoming unhappy and want to break. Therefore, and quite ironically, you two need to communication to learn how to connect better with each other and hence have a stronger r/s -
yeah normally if thats the reason she wanna end the relationship. I guess things have become dull and routinal. How long have you 2 been together?
if its more than 2 or 3 years its a very common thing to happen. it may not be the feeling that stop but its being together side by side become a habit like brushing teeth everyday, or eating lunch.
Trying to bring back a relationship, most importantly she must still have feeling for you also. or you gotta bring back the feeling she had for you before.
Remembering how does the beginning of the relationship is like, what are the little things that you did that ever touched her. Think back and see whether have you stop concerning about her everyday little things?
She probably had been missing the kinda feeling when a guy is so concern about her. you gotta touched her with your sincerety liao le. -
Give a surprise by buying her 99 roses...Women need to be pamper!
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we've been together for a yr... i did try to salvage the situation but she said nothing will gonna change. she gave me many hints in the past and it didnt get into my head. i shld have learn from my previous mistakes. i m such a idiot...
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dude. you see your last reason she gave you?? you not affectionate enough... so show her more love... guess thats the only thing you can do. the rest like cannot help liao.. still got one string of hope lah...
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ohh 1 year then its really fast. some honeymoon period could even last for a year. she must have been waiting and waiting all the time for you to change a little for her. When longing and expectating something for a period of time, disappointment comes in.
you said that she had gave you many hints in the end things are still the same so she decided to give up waiting. I think its a kinda numbness feeling after numerous disappointments. I can understand that kinda feeling. she should have talked to you about it instead of hinting man.
If you wanna get her back, you have to show her that you are willing to make a little change for her. Willing to concern more about her, and show that you really care about her feelings all that. you have to show her that you can be the person that she want you to be before. you have to be willing to make these little changes permanent also. But if after a few try, she still insisted that you are not the one for her. you just gotta let go and take it as some knowledge learnt. -
are u too busy? but seriously, your chances r not gd...Originally posted by mink77:jus yest, my gf has decided to call off our relationship and we came to a consensus that its best for us to remain as friends. reasons being
1) her feelings for me has died
2) r/s became stagnant
3) she dont see any sparks in the r/s
4) no passion in the r/s
5) i m not affectionate enough
i not trying to salvage the r/s jus for the sake of getting back together. i do still have feelings for her. i want to make it up to her and put in my utmost effort to make this work. i want to win her back. anyone has experience this before and ever succeed in winning your ex back? pls do do advise. thanks. -
I think it's very hard... when a girl tells u that her feelings for u has faded and she initiated a break up. The possiblity of patching back is nearly zero.
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Is she in love with someone else?
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Dear Mink77,
Both of you have to eventually realise that, as a relationship progresses, the "sparks" won't be there anymore. As a relationship deepens, what you build (hopefully) is a solid bond in which both of you care deeply about each other, support each other, are each other's best friends, & of course, do things for each other that keep the sparks alive.
In the beginning, everything appears to be roses, & every experience is new. However, there isn't the depth in a relationship, & you never know whether that person will support you when things get tough. Or boring because you're too stressed out at work or studies (or whatever reasons) at some point in time. A deeper relationship goes beyond this, because there already is understanding & support.
Pure blind passion & love are totally different matters. Affection (read: PDA) may lessen, but sometimes it's also part & parcel? That's when people say that marriages & relationships take work, because the parties have taken off the rose-tinted glasses & actually see their partners for what they are, warts & all. You'll still hafta do little things to show her she still matters, & she also has to do things for you, Not simply break things off when it gets a little stale...
If you feel there's a chance for you to win her back, remember that a sudden burst of passion & "romance" that isn't sustainable will mean that even if she gets back with you, the same problems will occur. What you'll need to do is mentally KNOW that you'll hafta do things at a constant level to break the monotomy that causes a relationship to grow "stale".
My guy & I try to surprise each other on a regular basis, & to make each other smile. The gifts or gestures need Not be extravagant, but the effort behind that gift or gesture is what is appreciated & cherished. If she does something nice for you, No matter how small or insignificant it seems, recognise the effort she put into the thought behind the deed, & reward her with your biggest smile, a big hug, a kiss or whatever to make her smile back. And make this REGULAR. I'm Not saying you hafta do this everyday, or it'll grow stale, but try to also surprise her at times. It doesn't need to be expensive, it only needs to be enough to let her know how much she's treasured.
If she doesn't wanna talk to you at the moment, doesn't matter. Drop her an SMS a day (Nothing more, or she'll think you're being a pest), don't give those grandiose sentences or phrases about how she's your life, blah blah blah. Just tell her how your day went. Once a week, perhaps tell her what you're doing over the weekend & tell her you kinda wish you could share that with her. The key is perhaps, to trigger nostalgia, Not irritation.
It's a fine line to tread, but if done properly, it COULD work. There're many who'll ignore this bit & bombard their exes with phonecalls, gifts, SMSes, etc. Clearly, they don't understand the phrase, "in moderation". Go with your instincts, but don't overdo things.
I wish you well.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by mink77:jus yest, my gf has decided to call off our relationship and we came to a consensus that its best for us to remain as friends. reasons being
1) her feelings for me has died
2) r/s became stagnant
3) she dont see any sparks in the r/s
4) no passion in the r/s
5) i m not affectionate enough
i not trying to salvage the r/s jus for the sake of getting back together. i do still have feelings for her. i want to make it up to her and put in my utmost effort to make this work. i want to win her back. anyone has experience this before and ever succeed in winning your ex back? pls do do advise. thanks. -
Come on, win what?
People said no feeling towards you ar, you cannot understand meh?
You can't even understand such a simple thing, so talk about what win back?
Go away lar! -
mink,
Relationships are not easy.... I know. I'm still struggling. but whe a couple meets obstacles in their relationship, both parties have to work together to remove these obstacles.
If all along only one party is doing the work, sooner or later that party will get tired and give up.
My point is. If you really want to revive this relationship. you can try. but if on her end, she really does not want to restart, then you must move on. there is no point hanging on when she has moved on. -
all signs are pointing to that direction.Originally posted by drx:Is she in love with someone else? -
i faced the same problem as you. after nearly 2 years, we had to come to this end.Originally posted by mink77:jus yest, my gf has decided to call off our relationship and we came to a consensus that its best for us to remain as friends. reasons being
1) her feelings for me has died
2) r/s became stagnant
3) she dont see any sparks in the r/s
4) no passion in the r/s
5) i m not affectionate enough
i not trying to salvage the r/s jus for the sake of getting back together. i do still have feelings for her. i want to make it up to her and put in my utmost effort to make this work. i want to win her back. anyone has experience this before and ever succeed in winning your ex back? pls do do advise. thanks.
no it wasnt hard letting go for me. i was way happier to get "her" off my back, because we simply just aint made for one another. now we're just friends.
i think you should just let go. Usually people in a longlasting destined relationship will never face the same problems as you. Sometimes it doesnt make sense trying to fit a square piece into a circular hole.
After the break up, I simply hung around with my best friends, and I made many new friends as well. And plenty of other 'opportunities' never thought possible while I'm attached.
Enjoy your single life while you can, whats the hurry? You're going to see each other till 70+. -
Originally posted by Manager433:ignore her for the time being. I bet she'll contact you back within 2-3weeks.
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u r absolutely right and thats what i m doing now... to take it slow and steady.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Dear Mink77,
Both of you have to eventually realise that, as a relationship progresses, the "sparks" won't be there anymore. As a relationship deepens, what you build (hopefully) is a solid bond in which both of you care deeply about each other, support each other, are each other's best friends, & of course, do things for each other that keep the sparks alive.
In the beginning, everything appears to be roses, & every experience is new. However, there isn't the depth in a relationship, & you never know whether that person will support you when things get tough. Or boring because you're too stressed out at work or studies (or whatever reasons) at some point in time. A deeper relationship goes beyond this, because there already is understanding & support.
Pure blind passion & love are totally different matters. Affection (read: PDA) may lessen, but sometimes it's also part & parcel? That's when people say that marriages & relationships take work, because the parties have taken off the rose-tinted glasses & actually see their partners for what they are, warts & all. You'll still hafta do little things to show her she still matters, & she also has to do things for you, Not simply break things off when it gets a little stale...
If you feel there's a chance for you to win her back, remember that a sudden burst of passion & "romance" that isn't sustainable will mean that even if she gets back with you, the same problems will occur. What you'll need to do is mentally KNOW that you'll hafta do things at a constant level to break the monotomy that causes a relationship to grow "stale".
My guy & I try to surprise each other on a regular basis, & to make each other smile. The gifts or gestures need Not be extravagant, but the effort behind that gift or gesture is what is appreciated & cherished. If she does something nice for you, No matter how small or insignificant it seems, recognise the effort she put into the thought behind the deed, & reward her with your biggest smile, a big hug, a kiss or whatever to make her smile back. And make this REGULAR. I'm Not saying you hafta do this everyday, or it'll grow stale, but try to also surprise her at times. It doesn't need to be expensive, it only needs to be enough to let her know how much she's treasured.
If she doesn't wanna talk to you at the moment, doesn't matter. Drop her an SMS a day (Nothing more, or she'll think you're being a pest), don't give those grandiose sentences or phrases about how she's your life, blah blah blah. Just tell her how your day went. Once a week, perhaps tell her what you're doing over the weekend & tell her you kinda wish you could share that with her. The key is perhaps, to trigger nostalgia, Not irritation.
It's a fine line to tread, but if done properly, it COULD work. There're many who'll ignore this bit & bombard their exes with phonecalls, gifts, SMSes, etc. Clearly, they don't understand the phrase, "in moderation". Go with your instincts, but don't overdo things.
I wish you well.
FeowFeow
i wish u well too.
thanks feow feow. -
Be extremely alert at this point...although the situation is a harsh on you...do not be too taken in by love....I think it is the desperation a person gets when he/she has suddenly lost a loved one who does things with you and is a aprt of your life. Worst thing is that they're so near yet so far. But take it slow, and should you find within a few months or however long you can hang on, that it isn't working, just give it up. Do not neglect yourself because I believe someone out there will love you for real. Its not her fault or yours...just the way things are...Stay strong my little friend You're not alone