how to win my gf back..
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msg deleted
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just to add:
will changing my ways win her back?
how should and what should i do?
should i have a talk to her about it?
give ourselves some time off? -
If you love her let her go..Since she has no feelings no point liao..If your continue both parties will suffer..
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should i at least try ? cos i've not made an effort in the past...
at least one last shot before i accept it as a fact.. -
By all means please do..Its hard to give up without trying..But please do realize when its the right time to stop,and also she might be hostile and easily irritated if you keep bothering her.. Just a few advises..Originally posted by gustowind:should i at least try ? cos i've not made an effort in the past...
at least one last shot before i accept it as a fact.. -
well, i'll not launch into a barrage of loves and gifts..
will sms her once a day to share about my day..
give her more space.. (we're meeting this sat for dinner.. so i hope to talk to her and ask her for one more chance)
i guess for her it's been that she's the one waiting and expecting to see changes in me and after a period of time ( one year) disappointment sets in..
i hope to make changes that she is looking for and make them permanent in my life. cos if the changes is just to please her then no point it'll come back again in another form ..
if i dun try now means i dun care or boh chap... seriously i care about her feelings and want to make it up to her..
but largely depends on whether she wants to restart or she already move on liao.. -
Don't ask her for a chance,show it with your intentions..Actions speak louder den words..Girls are sensitive,they'll realize it..Originally posted by gustowind:well, i'll not launch into a barrage of loves and gifts..
will sms her once a day to share about my day..
give her more space.. (we're meeting this sat for dinner.. so i hope to talk to her and ask her for one more chance)
i guess for her it's been that she's the one waiting and expecting to see changes in me and after a period of time ( one year) disappointment sets in..
i hope to make changes that she is looking for and make them permanent in my life. cos if the changes is just to please her then no point it'll come back again in another form ..
if i dun try now means i dun care or boh chap... seriously i care about her feelings and want to make it up to her..
but largely depends on whether she wants to restart or she already move on liao.. -
so i'll have to show her i'm more mature with my actions?
i need serious help in this area. I'm not really childish but maybe i tend to behave that way too much in front of her
( it's the letting ur hair down feeling ),
so pls tell me what should i do ?
need some guidance , can't catch any hints.. -
I have a friend whose mother passed away. The girlfriend decided to to break up with him during the funeral, cos she said that she dun think he's the one.
when the guy heard it, he was thinking of ways to patch the relationship back.
dun you find the girl a bit insensitive to be saying things at times like this? If you can't at least stand by your partner during such difficult times, then how are you going to weather the storms for the rest of your life?
That's my humble opinion lah... I mean, love is a strange thing. -
can give me some examples of how to be more mature?
thanks stellazio.. -
well can't blame her.. she actually didn't want to tell me but i keep probing ..
she also know i'm having a difficult time.. guess she's feeling guilty now..
she's also troubled cos she can't sleep these few nights thinking about it..
could anyone give me any advice on what i should talk to her about when i meet her this saturday?
regards -
Well,hard to explain leh..But perhaps try to think more about the future..Look at the bigger picture instead of just you and her..Yea its the thinking..Don't be selfish in your thinking,i think thats the best advice i can give u now..Anyway i wish you all the best and good luck..Originally posted by gustowind:can give me some examples of how to be more mature?
thanks stellazio.. -
she haven leave u means u still got chance... but u noe wat she wants... but ask yourself, have u did your best to your comfort? if u already had, better let it go...
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Nothing u change will cause her to start loving you again. If there is something u muz change for her sake and not yours, then it will not last. Simplest answer is to leave her alone and give her and yourself breathing space. Give yourself a few weeks, u'll get over her sooner than later. OF cuz, keep yourself busy with other things.
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the things she pointed out cannot be changed overnight. and it takes two hands to clap. let her go. you might be happier than trying to be something that you are not and try to please someone all the timeOriginally posted by gustowind:should i at least try ? cos i've not made an effort in the past...
at least one last shot before i accept it as a fact.. -
maturity comes with time.... you can't force it nor can you act it. just be yourself.Originally posted by gustowind:can give me some examples of how to be more mature?
thanks stellazio.. -
l think she is using ur mother's illness as a catalyst to breakup. Most probably she is disappointed wif u for a period of time already. Remeber, tt if u wanna chane for the better, u got to change primarily for ur own sake, not for hers.
As for becoming more mature, it takes time to mature a person's char. Wat u can do is tt u can chit chat abt current affairs, BGR wif ppl who r more senior. Btw, r u working or still schooling? Cause if u r working, u can chat wif ur colleagues abt nowadays relationships in Singapore.
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"I've been with my gf for almost a year. My mother was down with Kidney Failure last 2 weeks and I've been away from my gf for these 2 weeks.
Today she sms me that she dun feel the same way towards me as when we first started, and for some time she felt the feelings were cooling off.now she tells me she cant say she love me cos she dun know. And during this time she attended her cousin's wedding and she just realised she dun picture marrying me.
She also told me she don't have feelings for me and it's a gradual process. the more she see of me the more she feel that i'm not the one that she will marry. and the more she see the more she feel that way.
I've told her i will try to make changes for her. the issue is that she feels i'm not mature enough in my ways and thinking.
she also said that at this point in time she dun love me.
she said she cant stop me from trying to revive our relationship. but she told me that i cant force her to love me . if i try and the outcome is the same then i just have to accept it.
previously in the past she've given me hints already but i failed to act upon it.
and what she wants is very simple. Someone who is mature in his ways and thinking and who can lead her and her family in the right way ( apparently my misbehaviours are too glaring )"
Hi gustowind i think your problem is not unsolveable
i will show u a few tips that u can use...
1) Her mum is sick and you were not are when she needs you the most and she feels that u have forsake her..is normal ..she suffer from a lack of security. Girls need someone by their side no matter how big or how small the problem is. Have you ever wonder how it is like to see a love one so sick and u cannot do anything about it. It can really hurts alot..
2) And during this time she attended her cousin's wedding and she saw how happy the couples together walking hand in hand and she realies where the hell is my love one ? why she is he not beside me at all. Her thoughts will run wild and her small lttile heart also feel the pain.. She long for someone to be beside her to hugz her and hold her hand and say I will be there for you..
Sadly her heart pain grows bigger and bigger ...till she ask herself why should I have a bf who does not care a single bit about me at all..
3) her feelings are still there if you look carefully, never trust fully what a girl says.. if she really do not love you anymore she will not tell u so nicely and give u so much time and chance to patch back.
Actually I want u to ask yourself are you willing to change ? If not let her go..
no point forcing yourself again and again... to suit her needs.. Seeing her mum like that had made her grow up alot.. she really needs someone there to take care her more than ever before... Ask yourself can u seriously change ?
that means no more fooling around and start to think of earning an income to provide for the one you love..
I really hope that u can think over this very properly...If you chose to accept her that will mean you have to take good care of her family... you may had to work longer hours to provide for her but if you truely love her this will not be a problem. If not I really hope that you let her go nicely, she really needs someone who can protect her and to support her family... I went thru what she had been through so I know her feelings well...
Take your time to think carefully the path you chose as it will effect your life and hers.. Is not a game anymore is real life now.. -
conclusion: if you really love her to the core you will change for her and go for her.Originally posted by gustowind:Hi guys need some advice on this issue.
Here's the case:
I've been with my gf for almost a year. My mother was down with Kidney Failure last 2 weeks and I've been away from my gf for these 2 weeks.
Today she sms me that she dun feel the same way towards me as when we first started, and for some time she felt the feelings were cooling off.now she tells me she cant say she love me cos she dun know. And during this time she attended her cousin's wedding and she just realised she dun picture marrying me.
She also told me she don't have feelings for me and it's a gradual process. the more she see of me the more she feel that i'm not the one that she will marry. and the more she see the more she feel that way.
I've told her i will try to make changes for her. the issue is that she feels i'm not mature enough in my ways and thinking.
she also said that at this point in time she dun love me.
she said she cant stop me from trying to revive our relationship. but she told me that i cant force her to love me . if i try and the outcome is the same then i just have to accept it.
previously in the past she've given me hints already but i failed to act upon it.
and what she wants is very simple. Someone who is mature in his ways and thinking and who can lead her and her family in the right way ( apparently my misbehaviours are too glaring )
Could anyone give me some good advice? thanks a lot
regards
will -
Sometimes i wonder....if i'm able to advise you or give you tips of winning her back, am i doing the right thing???Originally posted by gustowind:Hi guys need some advice on this issue.
Here's the case:
I've been with my gf for almost a year. My mother was down with Kidney Failure last 2 weeks and I've been away from my gf for these 2 weeks.
Today she sms me that she dun feel the same way towards me as when we first started, and for some time she felt the feelings were cooling off.now she tells me she cant say she love me cos she dun know. And during this time she attended her cousin's wedding and she just realised she dun picture marrying me.
She also told me she don't have feelings for me and it's a gradual process. the more she see of me the more she feel that i'm not the one that she will marry. and the more she see the more she feel that way.
I've told her i will try to make changes for her. the issue is that she feels i'm not mature enough in my ways and thinking.
she also said that at this point in time she dun love me.
she said she cant stop me from trying to revive our relationship. but she told me that i cant force her to love me . if i try and the outcome is the same then i just have to accept it.
previously in the past she've given me hints already but i failed to act upon it.
and what she wants is very simple. Someone who is mature in his ways and thinking and who can lead her and her family in the right way ( apparently my misbehaviours are too glaring )
Could anyone give me some good advice? thanks a lot
regards
will
So, if your gf will to go back to you becoz of the advises/tips that someone has gave you, can i ask you to ask urself this question: "Is you gf going back to you becoz it's YOU or the advises someone has gave you?" -
er DRX, it's my mom that's in hospital ..
latest updates:
i told her that what she said to me was very painful for me to bear.
she told me' you know what's really painful? enduring 1 year for the person that you love to make the first move to call you everytime.Any telling you in the face that he didnt call you becos he forgot about u. and then eventually breaking off without emotion.( talking abt her ex bf.. ) and not only once , but many times she had to go thru all these shit.
she said she had enough,she just want to do what pleases her and not stay in a relationship when he's not right for me. (does it mean cos my mom sick now she feels insecure? I think the wedding made her realise i was not there for her.. maybe something else .. i dunnno )
at the moment she cant treat me as a boyfriend . she just cannot cos its makes her so stress if she think about the relationship it makes her feel like running away.
i told her i would change for her and make the changes permanent, and would do it , action louder than all my talk .
she said that pls dun aks her to treat me as anything more than a friend. let her make up her own mind. if she see what she like of course she will accept me. but that's up to her.
dun expect anything frm her becos in the end i might be disappointed. just leave her to make her own decisions. just dun have expectations
any interpretation? wrong or correct is ok.. i need help and advice.. -
sorry about the big mistake hehe..
seems like she had enough of relationship, give her some time off...
actually she left you cos u did not love her enough and did not give her the attentions she wants... -
women nowadays like to cook up some c0ck & bull stories lah. the last answer she give will b likely the real answer.
but ur so called 1 year r/s is not strong, to u it is intimate, to her it is just another casual person.
i like to contradict and discourage you. u hv to go pass the emotional burden and look for greener pasture. the longer u wait, the more disadvantages it is for u. -
the end is here liao... wat u do wont change her... wat she need is a fresh new start... better let her be happy n let her do as she wish...Originally posted by gustowind:er DRX, it's my mom that's in hospital ..
latest updates:
i told her that what she said to me was very painful for me to bear.
she told me' you know what's really painful? enduring 1 year for the person that you love to make the first move to call you everytime.Any telling you in the face that he didnt call you becos he forgot about u. and then eventually breaking off without emotion.( talking abt her ex bf.. ) and not only once , but many times she had to go thru all these shit.
she said she had enough,she just want to do what pleases her and not stay in a relationship when he's not right for me. (does it mean cos my mom sick now she feels insecure? I think the wedding made her realise i was not there for her.. maybe something else .. i dunnno )
at the moment she cant treat me as a boyfriend . she just cannot cos its makes her so stress if she think about the relationship it makes her feel like running away.
i told her i would change for her and make the changes permanent, and would do it , action louder than all my talk .
she said that pls dun aks her to treat me as anything more than a friend. let her make up her own mind. if she see what she like of course she will accept me. but that's up to her.
dun expect anything frm her becos in the end i might be disappointed. just leave her to make her own decisions. just dun have expectations
any interpretation? wrong or correct is ok.. i need help and advice.. -
gustowind
You have a choice to pursue or let go
My opinion from what she tells you (filtered through you) is that she has her mind pretty made up and cannot be swayed.
I think you should give her up because she isn't fond of you anymore. Your chances of success seem low.
Also your previous questions about maturity and "how to be more mature" is almost impossible to answer. You'll have to give examples of what you did that is immature, before anyone can comment on it.