Once bitten twice shy? Pls give serious advice..thanks
-
OK, I have some problems regarding about my past and I can't seem to let go?
Actually quite uncomfortable to write these..but haix, here I go..
Family
So when I was young, I had a fairly bad childhood, always having all sort of illness, hospitalised and so on. After that when i'm well again, things took a change..
My parents were divorced, but it's ok, at least if they both love me still, it will still be alright right? But no, that wasn't the case.
My father being the heck-care type took me and my sister in, by living with him and my stepmum. On the other hand, my mum, being a compulsive gambler (maybe a b!tch) dumped us and didn't really contact us after that.
Ok so why I say my father was the heck-care type? Because everytime him and my stepmom quarrel, he would send us to different relatives' places and put us there...maybe even forgetting that we are there at the first place, and the last straw came when he has to put us up in my uncle's place permanently.
We were quite happy there at the first place but after my uncle and aunty give birth to their first child, we feel like second citizens to their family. First of all, they don't give us freedom and likes to restrict our every movements. Once even commented to a stranger while I was serving tea to him that I was his free maid.
Like wtf, I feel so sad that he thinks of me that way that I decided to rebel so that my father would take me to his home again, and rebel I did, so I finally was sent to my father's home..leaving only my poor sis to my uncle.
but luckily she's still coping well, so I felt a sense of relieved..but my nightmare doesn't ends there...
(do note that I didn't write a full story of my bad past, only leaving some out like for e.g my sister and I were thrown into different places before settling down on this uncle's place 'cause the relatives didn't like us, but just took us in cause of pity and because of that, I have to change sch often)
School
So I kept changing school right? And sad to say, i'm always the new girl in the sch during my primary sch days..but it's ok, I made some great friends, but in the end? I had to change school and places, so my friendship stops there. We did contact, but couldn't meet cause we are not staying close to each other and my relative doesn't allow me to go that far a destination to meet friends.
In the end, we stopped all contacts together.
But never mind, in this new school I go and made some great friends again, but during primary 6, backstabbing amongst us starts to occur and I suffered the worst
I was beaten up by a guy 1 yr younger then me (but he's stronger..oh i'm a girl mind you) and my so called best friend joined him to go against me and make me suffer mentally and ...physically.
It was a painful period and during one time, I had started my menses earlier and I was feeling kind of sore down there and this guy came and whollop me down there (uterues, or however you spell it) and he kept hitting and punching me too. It was painful to write this as I recall
Ok, so I graduated from primary sch and my so called best friend snub me and so are others (except for 1 or 2, but they went into different sch cause they were best frens together..but i'm only a good friend to them)
So I had this mental barrier that I couldn't overcome and went in to sec sch with a negative attitude and also, shun most people. Morever, I was posted To NA and this doesn't help with my already bruised self-esteem.
So some classmates of mine took advantage of me and you guess it..bullied me back and forth. I was miserable throughtout this whole period..humilated and insulted.
Anyway, things were cooled and but the hurt is still there and some b!tch in sch tried stealing my crush cause she knows I like him (I do not think she likes him, just that she's been a b!tch)
Oh well, though my results worsen somewhere there. I manage to pick it up this year, hope fully I can get into a poly course I wanted. But the problem is..how..like how do I overcome the disgust I had for people over the years..*sigh*
Yours mentally scarred,
Depressed...*sigh* -
Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
Hey you are not alone out there. Some of us will get bullied during our pri/sec school days.
OK, I have some problems regarding about my past and I can't seem to let go?
Actually quite uncomfortable to write these..but haix, here I go..
[b]Family
So when I was young, I had a fairly bad childhood, always having all sort of illness, hospitalised and so on. After that when i'm well again, things took a change..
My parents were divorced, but it's ok, at least if they both love me still, it will still be alright right? But no, that wasn't the case.
My father being the heck-care type took me and my sister in, by living with him and my stepmum. On the other hand, my mum, being a compulsive gambler (maybe a b!tch) dumped us and didn't really contact us after that.
Ok so why I say my father was the heck-care type? Because everytime him and my stepmom quarrel, he would send us to different relatives' places and put us there...maybe even forgetting that we are there at the first place, and the last straw came when he has to put us up in my uncle's place permanently.
We were quite happy there at the first place but after my uncle and aunty give birth to their first child, we feel like second citizens to their family. First of all, they don't give us freedom and likes to restrict our every movements. Once even commented to a stranger while I was serving tea to him that I was his free maid.
Like wtf, I feel so sad that he thinks of me that way that I decided to rebel so that my father would take me to his home again, and rebel I did, so I finally was sent to my father's home..leaving only my poor sis to my uncle.
but luckily she's still coping well, so I felt a sense of relieved..but my nightmare doesn't ends there...
(do note that I didn't write a full story of my bad past, only leaving some out like for e.g my sister and I were thrown into different places before settling down on this uncle's place 'cause the relatives didn't like us, but just took us in cause of pity and because of that, I have to change sch often)
School
So I kept changing school right? And sad to say, i'm always the new girl in the sch during my primary sch days..but it's ok, I made some great friends, but in the end? I had to change school and places, so my friendship stops there. We did contact, but couldn't meet cause we are not staying close to each other and my relative doesn't allow me to go that far a destination to meet friends.
In the end, we stopped all contacts together.
But never mind, in this new school I go and made some great friends again, but during primary 6, backstabbing amongst us starts to occur and I suffered the worst
I was beaten up by a guy 1 yr younger then me (but he's stronger..oh i'm a girl mind you) and my so called best friend joined him to go against me and make me suffer mentally and ...physically.
It was a painful period and during one time, I had started my menses earlier and I was feeling kind of sore down there and this guy came and whollop me down there (uterues, or however you spell it) and he kept hitting and punching me too. It was painful to write this as I recall
Ok, so I graduated from primary sch and my so called best friend snub me and so are others (except for 1 or 2, but they went into different sch cause they were best frens together..but i'm only a good friend to them)
So I had this mental barrier that I couldn't overcome and went in to sec sch with a negative attitude and also, shun most people. Morever, I was posted To NA and this doesn't help with my already bruised self-esteem.
So some classmates of mine took advantage of me and you guess it..bullied me back and forth. I was miserable throughtout this whole period..humilated and insulted.
Anyway, things were cooled and but the hurt is still there and some b!tch in sch tried stealing my crush cause she knows I like him (I do not think she likes him, just that she's been a b!tch)
Oh well, though my results worsen somewhere there. I manage to pick it up this year, hope fully I can get into a poly course I wanted. But the problem is..how..like how do I overcome the disgust I had for people over the years..*sigh*
Yours mentally scarred,
Depressed...*sigh*[/b]
It is sad especially if no one out there can help you or defend you against those bullies.
Yet there is where you must help yourself. Take it as a way to become strong mentally. Tell yourself that no matter what others do you, you will become strong inside and no one can take that fighting spirit away from you.
But also never give up on trusting other people. This is a huge world and there are many caring, people out there who won't backstab you and all as a friend.
Anyway good luck for your 'O's
-
Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
OK, I have some problems regarding about my past and I can't seem to let go?
Actually quite uncomfortable to write these..but haix, here I go..
[b]Family
So when I was young, I had a fairly bad childhood, always having all sort of illness, hospitalised and so on. After that when i'm well again, things took a change..
My parents were divorced, but it's ok, at least if they both love me still, it will still be alright right? But no, that wasn't the case.
My father being the heck-care type took me and my sister in, by living with him and my stepmum. On the other hand, my mum, being a compulsive gambler (maybe a b!tch) dumped us and didn't really contact us after that.
Ok so why I say my father was the heck-care type? Because everytime him and my stepmom quarrel, he would send us to different relatives' places and put us there...maybe even forgetting that we are there at the first place, and the last straw came when he has to put us up in my uncle's place permanently.
We were quite happy there at the first place but after my uncle and aunty give birth to their first child, we feel like second citizens to their family. First of all, they don't give us freedom and likes to restrict our every movements. Once even commented to a stranger while I was serving tea to him that I was his free maid.
Like wtf, I feel so sad that he thinks of me that way that I decided to rebel so that my father would take me to his home again, and rebel I did, so I finally was sent to my father's home..leaving only my poor sis to my uncle.
but luckily she's still coping well, so I felt a sense of relieved..but my nightmare doesn't ends there...
(do note that I didn't write a full story of my bad past, only leaving some out like for e.g my sister and I were thrown into different places before settling down on this uncle's place 'cause the relatives didn't like us, but just took us in cause of pity and because of that, I have to change sch often)
School
So I kept changing school right? And sad to say, i'm always the new girl in the sch during my primary sch days..but it's ok, I made some great friends, but in the end? I had to change school and places, so my friendship stops there. We did contact, but couldn't meet cause we are not staying close to each other and my relative doesn't allow me to go that far a destination to meet friends.
In the end, we stopped all contacts together.
But never mind, in this new school I go and made some great friends again, but during primary 6, backstabbing amongst us starts to occur and I suffered the worst
I was beaten up by a guy 1 yr younger then me (but he's stronger..oh i'm a girl mind you) and my so called best friend joined him to go against me and make me suffer mentally and ...physically.
It was a painful period and during one time, I had started my menses earlier and I was feeling kind of sore down there and this guy came and whollop me down there (uterues, or however you spell it) and he kept hitting and punching me too. It was painful to write this as I recall
Ok, so I graduated from primary sch and my so called best friend snub me and so are others (except for 1 or 2, but they went into different sch cause they were best frens together..but i'm only a good friend to them)
So I had this mental barrier that I couldn't overcome and went in to sec sch with a negative attitude and also, shun most people. Morever, I was posted To NA and this doesn't help with my already bruised self-esteem.
So some classmates of mine took advantage of me and you guess it..bullied me back and forth. I was miserable throughtout this whole period..humilated and insulted.
Anyway, things were cooled and but the hurt is still there and some b!tch in sch tried stealing my crush cause she knows I like him (I do not think she likes him, just that she's been a b!tch)
Oh well, though my results worsen somewhere there. I manage to pick it up this year, hope fully I can get into a poly course I wanted. But the problem is..how..like how do I overcome the disgust I had for people over the years..*sigh*
Yours mentally scarred,
Depressed...*sigh*[/b]
Very complicated family background. It requires more than just a post to change all these negativity you have accumulated throughout your developing years.
To overcome your disgust with people, you got to first overcome yourself. Please understand that although we cannot control who our parents are, we certainly have absolute control over our own life and what we want to do with them. You may have encounter terrible family experience and is likely to instil certain corrupted mindset towards relationship with people, but that is only if you want to set your perception in bending towards such negativity.
You have to find ways to improve your overall esteem and to seek for your confidence. Self love is essential, if you desire to improve relationship with people around you, or at least, remove the contempt you had for others.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
Forget about your PAST! The future's YOURS to CREATE!
OK, I have some problems regarding about my past and I can't seem to let go?
Actually quite uncomfortable to write these..but haix, here I go..
[b]Family
So when I was young, I had a fairly bad childhood, always having all sort of illness, hospitalised and so on. After that when i'm well again, things took a change..
My parents were divorced, but it's ok, at least if they both love me still, it will still be alright right? But no, that wasn't the case.
My father being the heck-care type took me and my sister in, by living with him and my stepmum. On the other hand, my mum, being a compulsive gambler (maybe a b!tch) dumped us and didn't really contact us after that.
Ok so why I say my father was the heck-care type? Because everytime him and my stepmom quarrel, he would send us to different relatives' places and put us there...maybe even forgetting that we are there at the first place, and the last straw came when he has to put us up in my uncle's place permanently.
We were quite happy there at the first place but after my uncle and aunty give birth to their first child, we feel like second citizens to their family. First of all, they don't give us freedom and likes to restrict our every movements. Once even commented to a stranger while I was serving tea to him that I was his free maid.
Like wtf, I feel so sad that he thinks of me that way that I decided to rebel so that my father would take me to his home again, and rebel I did, so I finally was sent to my father's home..leaving only my poor sis to my uncle.
but luckily she's still coping well, so I felt a sense of relieved..but my nightmare doesn't ends there...
(do note that I didn't write a full story of my bad past, only leaving some out like for e.g my sister and I were thrown into different places before settling down on this uncle's place 'cause the relatives didn't like us, but just took us in cause of pity and because of that, I have to change sch often)
School
So I kept changing school right? And sad to say, i'm always the new girl in the sch during my primary sch days..but it's ok, I made some great friends, but in the end? I had to change school and places, so my friendship stops there. We did contact, but couldn't meet cause we are not staying close to each other and my relative doesn't allow me to go that far a destination to meet friends.
In the end, we stopped all contacts together.
But never mind, in this new school I go and made some great friends again, but during primary 6, backstabbing amongst us starts to occur and I suffered the worst
I was beaten up by a guy 1 yr younger then me (but he's stronger..oh i'm a girl mind you) and my so called best friend joined him to go against me and make me suffer mentally and ...physically.
It was a painful period and during one time, I had started my menses earlier and I was feeling kind of sore down there and this guy came and whollop me down there (uterues, or however you spell it) and he kept hitting and punching me too. It was painful to write this as I recall
Ok, so I graduated from primary sch and my so called best friend snub me and so are others (except for 1 or 2, but they went into different sch cause they were best frens together..but i'm only a good friend to them)
So I had this mental barrier that I couldn't overcome and went in to sec sch with a negative attitude and also, shun most people. Morever, I was posted To NA and this doesn't help with my already bruised self-esteem.
So some classmates of mine took advantage of me and you guess it..bullied me back and forth. I was miserable throughtout this whole period..humilated and insulted.
Anyway, things were cooled and but the hurt is still there and some b!tch in sch tried stealing my crush cause she knows I like him (I do not think she likes him, just that she's been a b!tch)
Oh well, though my results worsen somewhere there. I manage to pick it up this year, hope fully I can get into a poly course I wanted. But the problem is..how..like how do I overcome the disgust I had for people over the years..*sigh*
Yours mentally scarred,
Depressed...*sigh*[/b] -
Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
how old are u?
OK, I have some problems regarding about my past and I can't seem to let go?
Actually quite uncomfortable to write these..but haix, here I go..
[b]Family
So when I was young, I had a fairly bad childhood, always having all sort of illness, hospitalised and so on. After that when i'm well again, things took a change..
My parents were divorced, but it's ok, at least if they both love me still, it will still be alright right? But no, that wasn't the case.
My father being the heck-care type took me and my sister in, by living with him and my stepmum. On the other hand, my mum, being a compulsive gambler (maybe a b!tch) dumped us and didn't really contact us after that.
Ok so why I say my father was the heck-care type? Because everytime him and my stepmom quarrel, he would send us to different relatives' places and put us there...maybe even forgetting that we are there at the first place, and the last straw came when he has to put us up in my uncle's place permanently.
We were quite happy there at the first place but after my uncle and aunty give birth to their first child, we feel like second citizens to their family. First of all, they don't give us freedom and likes to restrict our every movements. Once even commented to a stranger while I was serving tea to him that I was his free maid.
Like wtf, I feel so sad that he thinks of me that way that I decided to rebel so that my father would take me to his home again, and rebel I did, so I finally was sent to my father's home..leaving only my poor sis to my uncle.
but luckily she's still coping well, so I felt a sense of relieved..but my nightmare doesn't ends there...
(do note that I didn't write a full story of my bad past, only leaving some out like for e.g my sister and I were thrown into different places before settling down on this uncle's place 'cause the relatives didn't like us, but just took us in cause of pity and because of that, I have to change sch often)
School
So I kept changing school right? And sad to say, i'm always the new girl in the sch during my primary sch days..but it's ok, I made some great friends, but in the end? I had to change school and places, so my friendship stops there. We did contact, but couldn't meet cause we are not staying close to each other and my relative doesn't allow me to go that far a destination to meet friends.
In the end, we stopped all contacts together.
But never mind, in this new school I go and made some great friends again, but during primary 6, backstabbing amongst us starts to occur and I suffered the worst
I was beaten up by a guy 1 yr younger then me (but he's stronger..oh i'm a girl mind you) and my so called best friend joined him to go against me and make me suffer mentally and ...physically.
It was a painful period and during one time, I had started my menses earlier and I was feeling kind of sore down there and this guy came and whollop me down there (uterues, or however you spell it) and he kept hitting and punching me too. It was painful to write this as I recall
Ok, so I graduated from primary sch and my so called best friend snub me and so are others (except for 1 or 2, but they went into different sch cause they were best frens together..but i'm only a good friend to them)
So I had this mental barrier that I couldn't overcome and went in to sec sch with a negative attitude and also, shun most people. Morever, I was posted To NA and this doesn't help with my already bruised self-esteem.
So some classmates of mine took advantage of me and you guess it..bullied me back and forth. I was miserable throughtout this whole period..humilated and insulted.
Anyway, things were cooled and but the hurt is still there and some b!tch in sch tried stealing my crush cause she knows I like him (I do not think she likes him, just that she's been a b!tch)
Oh well, though my results worsen somewhere there. I manage to pick it up this year, hope fully I can get into a poly course I wanted. But the problem is..how..like how do I overcome the disgust I had for people over the years..*sigh*
Yours mentally scarred,
Depressed...*sigh*[/b] -
gal, hang in there.
disgust for people is a pretty heavy word to use. i cant say i entirely identify with you, but the anguish is apparent.
take time to trust people again. i think trust is the key. take it slow gal. hope you get out of it... -
hye im taking my O's too..its lyk..hmm in 3 wks or so rite..u work hard for it ok..get into jc if you can,nt say poly nt good bt jc more secure bahs anyway u take care of urself alrite i feel for u
-
Learn to shut out all distractions and focus on succeeding your dreams. Along the way, keep an eye for fiends and friends - who to avoid and who you can trust. You will surely meet new people - the key to your happiness or misery is a calm mind and wisdom to discern who is friend or foe. Your life ahead is never found in the past - it's job is to mould you and sharpen your mental strength-will and always remember not to let the past transform you into a miserable person (unless you let its weight overcome you). The past cannot be undone but we can surely create our future. Learn to react to all stormy situations, provokations calmly despite the turbulence "outside". Life becomes turbulent than peaceful when we react turbulently to stormy situations.
If you're the silkworm, you're like going through the stage of life when it undergoes metamorphosis in the pupae undergoing complete transformation within a protective cocoon or hardened case (necessary to protect yourself from any form of harm) bidding your time. But when the time is ripe and it reaches adulthood, the struggling juices it's gone thru will transform you into a beautiful butterfly where a new life and world awaits you to live and enjoy taking flight away leaving the past behind.
And there are many similar pupaes undergoing transformation as much as there are many harmful "insects" in the harsh environment.
Let not the past and present distractions cripple you.
Don't lose heart. Go and seek your dreams. Let the past collect dust. -
u quote such a long postOriginally posted by ceecookie:how old are u?
jus 2 ask a one-line qns
-
Erm, why does someone asks for my age when if they had read the passage, they would have known how old am I, huh?
Btw, thanks guys for taking time to read my misery and ya..i'm kinda worried if the past would repeat itself, sobs. Everytime someone asks what's worrying me, I would just keep quiet and say, "nothing.." because I don't want to burden them as i'm not really close to them and they might even give me those pitiful looks when they look at me when they did not know how to react to my situation or avoid me because they don't want to be involve in my depression.
And now, im studying but lazying at the same time..ugh, no motivation, tell me, what kind of motivation is there out for me?
-
the onli motivation is tat for u to get out of the hell pit now!!! u don let urself fall deeper into the black hole .. u MUST GET OUT NOW!! .. rite now u r in NA .. nvm .. get ur studies on track ... u may nt see results soon .. but u hav to .. if u wan to get to a better environment .. lets say ur results permits .. u will go to a JC or Poly .. get a good reputable one .. n ur life will change ... most ppl r good there ... if u don .. mayb u fall further .. go to lets say a bad ITE or poly or jc .. mayb things wont really pick up ...
always hav this positive attitude ... although rite now u r being bullied ... u mus bite ur lips n get on with ur life .. u hav gone through so much .. don let go at this critical moment ..
frens ... seriously .. they arent the ones for u ... try minimium contact with them .. no pt getting serious frenship from them since they dont even respect u as a individual .. find good ppl to mix with .. those u can talk n wont backstab u
family ... no one has the power to choose their family .. i m sadden tat u had a bad past n family background.. but don let this disadvantaged u .. u tasted hard times .. dare to dream far .. u wan better life in future .. work for it!!
.. u r a special n strong gal .. i hope u can change ur life for the better .. rite now endure kk -
Your MOTIVATION is to STUDY HARD so that you can FEND for yourself in the FUTURE, and be INDEPENDENT enough to LIVE LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT and THE WAY YOU REALLY DESERVES IT!!!Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Erm, why does someone asks for my age when if they had read the passage, they would have known how old am I, huh?
Btw, thanks guys for taking time to read my misery and ya..i'm kinda worried if the past would repeat itself, sobs. Everytime someone asks what's worrying me, I would just keep quiet and say, "nothing.." because I don't want to burden them as i'm not really close to them and they might even give me those pitiful looks when they look at me when they did not know how to react to my situation or avoid me because they don't want to be involve in my depression.
And now, im studying but lazying at the same time..ugh, no motivation, tell me, what kind of motivation is there out for me? -
It is not your choice to come to this world, since you are here you have to face the world to let those who look down on you that you are not a coward. Stand on your feet, study hard, get good marks, then you will get a good job. Look, no one born smart or rich. We have to work hard, don't give up, be a happy girl.
-
hi, i've been thru worst than u. now i'm suffering worst fate. but i'm holding on strongly coz my yoga teacher teacher told me this:
Yesterday is past,
Tomorrow is an illustion,
Live today, this moment!
The past had already past. (u can't change it. so don't worry!)
The future is still not here. (y worry?)
juz Live only this moment! (NO WORRY)
Do some volunteer work esp at handicaps association... u will get motivated and u will realise how weak we are compared to their determinations and courages. This world doesn't revolve around you. Look at the bigger world and all our past, problems and depression are so insignificant.
All the best! -
Every day starts in a fresh new way. It's never the same stale way yesterday.
To have brighter days ahead, that's how we should start a new day. Leave yesterday's worries behind where it belongs. What good does it give by bringing them into the new day? It only cripples our spirit, soul, mind and strength. Instead make and create the new day the way you want it. It's all yours to make the most of it in our own hands. That's what the new day gives us to do. It doesn't put obstacles before us. It's up to us to take those steps and make each new day fresh for ourselves to enjoy and live our life.
Instead of letting the world and its woes push us around, it's really about us pushing and changing our world. And it starts with looking ahead and taking little steps forward. -
agree.Originally posted by Devil1976:Forget about your PAST! The future's YOURS to CREATE!
you need to acknowledge your past. it is a part of you no doubt. accept that you cannot change the past
BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE IT
no need to live in that part of your life which is over.
try this (read this in a book) .. works for me when i feel down about my past..
build a wall (mentally) behind you. tell yourself that is the past, it exist and you want to put it behind you.
in front of you, no wall, is your future ... and you are getting rto charge forward now....
like devil said.. the future is yours to create.
good luck! -
but your past will never leave you.. that's the thing that bogs most people.. i won't deny, my past bothers me too..
there's a phrase "the loss lies where it falls"; i try to live by that, not easy, but let's face it, you can't change the past, so might as well reduce the pain by having a decent future.
go ahead and let it all out on these stupid forums, nobody knows who you are, and nobody is going to try and identify you anyway.
however beyond that, i try, and you should to, look for quality friends, having 3 friends is definitely better than having 300 acquaintances. singaporeans tend to abuse the english language and hence the word friend is more often than not used to describe someone they know but don't necessarily have a relationship that falls under friendship. If you sense trouble stay away; and if you feel that the people who surround you now will one day become part of that hurtful past, i'd say you should pull yourself out now while you have the chance.
Warmest Regards,
SupaFatty