Can someone pls advice
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Dear all,
recently got to know a gal from KL when i was there for official trip. Since the trip, we have been sending each other emails and later it was phone calls every nite. Till a date that i think we had fallen in love with each other. Later, a date was arrange and i drove to KL to meet up with her. It sort of confirmed our relationship. We were happy with the status. Today, called her on the phone. She told me that she will not be able to meet me up in Nov for holiday in Sin. Coz she told me that her EX is bringing his parents out for holiday and requested her to follow. (Her ex's parents does not know that they broke off)
So this gal confessed to me that she on and off meet up with her ex for such purpose. When i heard it, i was stunned. Do not know how to react. It has been few years since they broke off. Sigh. I really confused in my mind. What is she thinking? Cancel our holiday to go out with her ex and family?
Im confused now. I wonder should i continue with her or should i give it up as she told me that she is trying to do something about it. But on the other hand, i like her alot and wanted very much to develop something out of it. Can anyone say something???? -
she had not let go of her past relationship problems yet and she want to help her ex a bit.
You had only came into the picture recently and you could not expect her to be 100% in lovve with u right?
If u really love her you should respect her decision and wait for her..
this is a test of your love..
If you think she really loves you then trusting her should not be a problem at all...
If u do not love her or trust her that much then I suggest you should break off asap cos there is no point been together.
I suggest that you make a new appointment with her about time for her to come to singapore. Say that you trust her and you are willing to wait for her.. Your body may be here but your heart is there right beside her all along. -
Hmm...hate to admit this but if I choose to ditch e guy for e trip...I reckon it will be a permanent ditch oredi...
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talk to her. she might have a perfectly innocent explaination for this....
if you really like her, talk to her... work it out. don't make any rash decisions -
it sounds absurd. do you know why she complies with such requests by her ex? best make things clear. i guess if it has been a few years since they last broke up, it is time her ex come to terms with that fact and tell his parents already. i don't know exactly why she agrees to meet his parents, but i sure don't like the sound of that.
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Encourage her to speak the truth.
That's really the best way she can help herself and her ex.
The truth is best for everyone. -
I think you should talk to her about your worries before making a harsh decision of giving up. Ask her is she still in love with her ex? or is it just pure responsibility and she actually did feels a little reluctant that she has to go along with them.
Theres only few possibilities:
She may be those kinda thats afraid to reject people request that causes her to agree to go to any outing and therefore getting push around by families decisions all that.
she could be someone who is fickle minded and cant decide what she wants.
She is unable to let go of her past relationship, therefore still holding on. but at the same time, trying out to move on.
Why cant they let each other's parents know that they has broken off already? kinda weird. its cant keep going on like this, ask her when are they informing their parents? Or are they going to inform?
Being so unsure and insecure, its a must to clarified things with her first. Its important to be frank to each other. Especially yours as a long distance kinda relationship. -
Its always wise and nice to talk tings out peacefully, b4 any regretted actions is taken or words being said... Jumping into conclusion w/o knowing the truth behind it is the worst case.
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Man.. first of all.. u ask her WHY she wanna go out with her ex on holiday n stuff man. U booked her out first so she should stick to the original plan unless some unforseen circumstances happens.. n that just aint one of those unforseen circumstances. Picture this.... u about to give her the best valentines gift.. a day all planned out n her EX tells her to follow him to see his parents coz he dun wanna let his parents know they broke off n need to show face n shiet. Man.. u like her ? then u gotta tell her that this is just unacceptable!
U better make things straight.. or its gonna be one frustrating relationship down the track ... she may say o.. he my good friend now ..blah blah yadi yada.. man.. . THEY ARE NOT TOGETHER LIAW! FULL STOP! Time to assert ur authority man.. -
Messy. Don't continue this r/s until she is clear and ready. If she's meant to be, she will come back to you.
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It is time for her to cut ties with her ex & let his parents know abt their breakup. How long is she going to keep up this pretense? She shouldn't be meeting up with him, unless she cannot let go.
Talk to her. Let her know u don't like her cancelling on u. U are more impt. than an ex. She should be spending precious time getting to know u better.
If she still insist on going, then u should seriously consider abt. entering into a r/s.
It is very difficult to maintain a r/s when the person is far away & even more so, when there is no trust. -
Originally posted by andy13:Dear all,
recently got to know a gal from KL when i was there for official trip. Since the trip, we have been sending each other emails and later it was phone calls every nite. Till a date that i think we had fallen in love with each other. Later, a date was arrange and i drove to KL to meet up with her. It sort of confirmed our relationship. We were happy with the status. Today, called her on the phone. She told me that she will not be able to meet me up in Nov for holiday in Sin. Coz she told me that her EX is bringing his parents out for holiday and requested her to follow. (Her ex's parents does not know that they broke off)
So this gal confessed to me that she on and off meet up with her ex for such purpose. When i heard it, i was stunned. Do not know how to react. It has been few years since they broke off. Sigh. I really confused in my mind. What is she thinking? Cancel our holiday to go out with her ex and family?
Im confused now. I wonder should i continue with her or should i give it up as she told me that she is trying to do something about it. But on the other hand, i like her alot and wanted very much to develop something out of it. Can anyone say something????
Because this is a long distance relationship, you got to understand the high risk and the much-less fulfilment gain from the relationship. I don't know how fast it took you to be in a relationship with her, but surely, I doubt it was long enough to see certain critical factors or personalities about her to make a better judgment for yourself.
Regarding her ex's matter, it's kinda obvious that she is a woman that doesn't really make decision OR simply a woman that is still dwelling in her past. Both factors contribute to such behaviour of maintaining current status quo, with her ex, even though it is completely nonsensical. Your relationship with her is a perfect position for this nonsense to continue - imagine if she were to have a new KL bf, wouldn't it be a direct issue to settle immediately... with decision and all that, instead of a LDR, which is like easy to keep mum (to her ex), do what she always does and remain attached?
I think if you are looking for a permanent, long lasting relationship, you got to speak to her in regarding what she is looking for. She may see you as an emotional transition, therefore, before too much feeling is invested, please consider reality as part of your consideration, for you don't go clubs and look for lifetime partners - in the same way, when you are seeking someone... and this someone must share the same vision as you and not just a temporal thing. If it isn't, then either you accept the deal or move on with it. A long distance relationship is already so challenging and to date... many fail ultimately and miserably.
If reality has shed some signs of complication ON TOP of a LDR, I think you seriously need to talk things through - to understand her mindset, your current situation and her emotional state.
Cheers -
Try to work on this part...Originally posted by andy13:Dear all,
recently got to know a gal from KL when i was there for official trip. Since the trip, we have been sending each other emails and later it was phone calls every nite. Till a date that i think we had fallen in love with each other. Later, a date was arrange and i drove to KL to meet up with her. It sort of confirmed our relationship. We were happy with the status. Today, called her on the phone. She told me that she will not be able to meet me up in Nov for holiday in Sin. Coz she told me that her EX is bringing his parents out for holiday and requested her to follow. (Her ex's parents does not know that they broke off)
So this gal confessed to me that she on and off meet up with her ex for such purpose. When i heard it, i was stunned. Do not know how to react. It has been few years since they broke off. Sigh. I really confused in my mind. What is she thinking? Cancel our holiday to go out with her ex and family?
Im confused now. I wonder should i continue with her or should i give it up as she told me that she is trying to do something about it. But on the other hand, i like her alot and wanted very much to develop something out of it. Can anyone say something???? -
Dump her.