Mum's affecting my social life
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I couldn't agree more with you. But what if one day you come home to see your mum all dead and splattered on the ground floor as a result of ignoring? I will live in guilt forever.Originally posted by countdracula:i do think your mum has some form of mental illness or at least psychological issues. perhaps it is time to seek professional help. frankly, i would not give in to her, as this would only encourage her to be more unreasonable. this is no different from my child who would sometimes make unreasonable demands. 2 choices for me, submit or ignore, trust me the second one works very well. give your mum some stick and the sooner she realises she cannot make unreasonable demands on you, she'll learn to respect you. make you the dominant in this relationship.
I have applied for a night part time job in a warehouse nearby, and hopefully I'll get the job.. I guess its the only way to beat the "system."
Sometimes mum makes all of us feel that life is not worth living anymore.
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i'm not qualified to dish out any advice but this is what i'll do. ignore her for a couple of times to show her you're no pushover. as for killing herself, i'm more incline to the phrase 'a barking dog seldom bites'. she's just trying to gather attention and i think your brother and father have somewhat succeded. you can either help her get involved with some social activities or simply life your own life. otherwise, the one who will be spilling blood is not your mother but you. you need to get out of this bitter cycle and soon i reckon.
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do give counselling a try...
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I really apreciate your reply. Dad and brother had somewhat "escaped" her clutches, so she's clinging onto me.Originally posted by countdracula:i'm not qualified to dish out any advice but this is what i'll do. ignore her for a couple of times to show her you're no pushover. as for killing herself, i'm more incline to the phrase 'a barking dog seldom bites'. she's just trying to gather attention and i think your brother and father have somewhat succeded. you can either help her get involved with some social activities or simply life your own life. otherwise, the one who will be spilling blood is not your mother but you. you need to get out of this bitter cycle and soon i reckon.
She's an expert in mind games. Sentences like:
"I brought you up and this is how you repay me"
"I thought I had a good son, I was wrong"
"This is what I get after been so nice to you"
"Why are you always against your mum? Do you want lightning to strike you?"
"Don't call me mum if you are not home by eight this evening for dinner."
"First is your bastard dad, now it's you, and boy (younger brother) will be next"
"I know you just want me to die so that you can be happy"
Utimately.. thanks for listening... I feel better after letting it all out...
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Hey cool. GLad to know you're better. Fill us in if there's anything else u might need. All the best!
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worse come to worse,pack up and leave home but u most prob end up worse than wat u r now. I kn how it feel to hav a unreasonable parent,u cant beat them up but u cant made them understand no matter how u try.They tok weird thing like u hate to c them happy or thing like u wish them dead or some other unbelievable stuffs. But in the end,the situation will not change unless u do something abt it and i suggest a one week disappearance to made them kn how much they miss u.U got to however leave a msg w someone that u r alive and not kidnapped.U dun want to end up on the night news.
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Where to? Friends' house? I'm saving up for a trip to Malaysia, maybe for a 2 week break.Originally posted by nopulseisgood:worse come to worse,pack up and leave home but u most prob end up worse than wat u r now. I kn how it feel to hav a unreasonable parent,u cant beat them up but u cant made them understand no matter how u try.They tok weird thing like u hate to c them happy or thing like u wish them dead or some other unbelievable stuffs. But in the end,the situation will not change unless u do something abt it and i suggest a one week disappearance to made them kn how much they miss u.U got to however leave a msg w someone that u r alive and not kidnapped.U dun want to end up on the night news.
I went for a full one week holiday few months back after informing her. No change in attitude at all. She insisted on auto roaming too..
As usual, you can find me at home most of the time before 8pm. My younger brother said I was "soft", but she's my mum afterall, how far should I bend backwards for her
Yeah, I guess it's Emotional blackmail at it's best.
Check out today's special from mum:
"Don't you want to come back for dinner with your lonely mum? I know it's only me, but I hope you won't be like that sh*thead dad of yours, going out with friends all the time."
She uses vulgar words, and taunts you to fall into her trap.
Click. So perfect. -
as much as i feel for you. i believe you have already found your own solution. the only thing left for you is to act upon it, provided that is what you want. like others who contributed to your thread, we are merely 3rd party looking in and have no say in your situation. on a personal note, if it's happening to me, such a monster's untimely demise will be welcomed to free myself of this parasitical entrapment (please note it's not an advise!!!).
go for your trip, ignore the situation and let her sort herself out. by the time you return, 2 outcomes, one is where she is so pissed that she ignores you...hurray!! second is that she learns to respect you and be less unreasonable..the smaller consolation of the 2.
regards.. -
If u really wanna help ur mum n ur family i think u should consider counselling.
It really helps. I think ur mum is suffering from depression.
it can be treated!
All the best my friend