Domestic Discipline
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I used to get canned often when i was quite young, which wasn't really too long ago, by my Grandpa. Usually the reason is that i didn't finish my dinner. Or making too much noise while watching TV.
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hmm i would advice telling them to stop it nicely and explain that you feel its not appropraite. i assume you can support yourself financially if you really have to judging from you age.... therefore i advice that if they do not listen to the prior persuasion do not bend down on the table the next tiem they want to cane you. if they do proceed to cane you anyhow then you can either retaliate in self defence or go to the police after that i presume assualt is pretty much on the list since you did not accede to the caning...........
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Hi thanks for the advice,
I don't want to like report them to the police or assualt charges or do something drastic like that. At the end of the day they mean well are doing it to make me a better person, so i have to respect them for that.
I don't hate them for doing it, as long as its in private, from their eyes they are doing it for my own good anyway. I just feel that those times when in front of other people is really humiliating.
If I report them then everyone in the family will know about it and it would really be embarrasing, all my cousins/relatives will laugh at me behind my back! not to mentioned that my relationship with aunty and my mum will be affected.
Thats why this forum is the only place I can seek advice. cus nobody knows me!
As for my situation, I can't really support myself at the moment. Besides everyone keep saying I am too immature and not ready to live on my own yet.
and er.... no I am not Mark Teo. -
They do not mean well.Are they so lacking in the ability to guide and mould a person for so long in life that they have to resort to such methods?
You're back at square one.Just stand up to them and don't get brainwashed by the thought that they mean well.Ask yourself honestly, is it right for a 31 year old man to be caned?
I'll be frank here.To me, this is plain sick. -
x2Originally posted by LazerLordz:They do not mean well.Are they so lacking in the ability to guide and mould a person for so long in life that they have to resort to such methods?
You're back at square one.Just stand up to them and don't get brainwashed by the thought that they mean well.Ask yourself honestly, is it right for a 31 year old man to be caned?
I'll be frank here.To me, this is plain sick.
The cane is only meant for young kids, but I find it should never be used -
After seeing so many post from you.. All i can say is prove to them you are matured enough so that they will not have the excuse to cane you.. Same goes for your cousin..
Its not about humilating in when cane in public or at home.. Its about your principles that we are talking abt here.. Ask anyone beside you.. Who gets caned at your age??
You defend yourself by saying that they cane you for a good cause.. Which parent don cane their kids for a good cause? (Not talking abt those parents who abuse their kids via caning)
Sit down talk to them.. Ask them why they are caning you.. For God sake.. you are in Uni ready.. When you graduate.. Are they suppose to get the cane beside you when you go on stage to collect your cert?
Cheers
Originally posted by Asianguy7:Hi thanks for the advice,
I don't want to like report them to the police or assualt charges or do something drastic like that. At the end of the day they mean well are doing it to make me a better person, so i have to respect them for that.
I don't hate them for doing it, as long as its in private, from their eyes they are doing it for my own good anyway. I just feel that those times when in front of other people is really humiliating.
If I report them then everyone in the family will know about it and it would really be embarrasing, all my cousins/relatives will laugh at me behind my back! not to mentioned that my relationship with aunty and my mum will be affected.
Thats why this forum is the only place I can seek advice. cus nobody knows me!
As for my situation, I can't really support myself at the moment. Besides everyone keep saying I am too immature and not ready to live on my own yet.
and er.... no I am not Mark Teo. -
try getting another adult (like your other aunt, or uncle) to talk to them abt it. tell them that they can use other form of discipline but not caning, eg. ground you? or take away ur allowances (if u are still getting it) or reason with u.
most importantly is show that these other ways work. show that u know you are in the wrong, apologise and change. -
BEING CANED is YOUR CHOICE.Originally posted by Asianguy7:Hi thanks for the advice,
I don't want to like report them to the police or assualt charges or do something drastic like that. At the end of the day they mean well are doing it to make me a better person, so i have to respect them for that.
I don't hate them for doing it, as long as its in private, from their eyes they are doing it for my own good anyway. I just feel that those times when in front of other people is really humiliating.
If I report them then everyone in the family will know about it and it would really be embarrasing, all my cousins/relatives will laugh at me behind my back! not to mentioned that my relationship with aunty and my mum will be affected.
Thats why this forum is the only place I can seek advice. cus nobody knows me!
As for my situation, I can't really support myself at the moment. Besides everyone keep saying I am too immature and not ready to live on my own yet.
and er.... no I am not Mark Teo.
SPEAK UP and DEFEND for YOURSELF. You're NO LONGER a KID
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i dont think there are middle-aged men abuse hotlines..
ok anyway, i feel that caning is retarded. And caning at Uni level? thats like having sex with your wife while your parents watch you to make sure you dont do anything wrong. -
Originally posted by coffeeortea:i dont think there are middle-aged men abuse hotlines..
ok anyway, i feel that caning is retarded. And caning at Uni level? thats like having sex with your wife while your parents watch you to make sure you dont do anything wrong.
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I think I will try what you suggest smudgegey.
Your suggestion sounds contructive and not so confrontational.
The only problem is finding another adult and telling him/her about it, and hoping that the adult will see my side of things...... (if not then another person will know....)
Oh its so humilation, just to tell someone about it face to face is really embarrasing. -
uhm .... this is a real serious issue ..
dont keep sayin that they (mother and aunt) meant you well by cannin you . you're real old enough to know whats right and wrong . (maybe you're used to the cannin .... and when you did sth wrong, they cane you, and you think it's alright, and think that they meant you well)
show them you're a grown up, you're 31 !
do sth when they tell you to get ready to be caned .. or .. you just let them cane all they want ?
you know it's humiliatin, you want to stop bein caned, so drop that thought (that they meant you well)
ask them if they're still goin to cane you when you reach 40, 50 ??
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Why do you need to justify your action?I'm beginning to think you have this submissive complex and a fear of your mother.Originally posted by Asianguy7:I think I will try what you suggest smudgegey.
Your suggestion sounds contructive and not so confrontational.
The only problem is finding another adult and telling him/her about it, and hoping that the adult will see my side of things...... (if not then another person will know....)
Oh its so humilation, just to tell someone about it face to face is really embarrasing.