is there meaning to a marriage nowaday????
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since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world???
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the case u hear of are the minority
majority of marriages are normal , and good just that the media chooses to publicise broken marraige more often -
then i think i am bad luck to surround by all the broken one
i don see any value in marriage already.....too many affairs going around....not only men...women also.....just heard my friend going for divorce after less then a year marriage ....they just register last year......and his wife got an affair....
very heart breaking.....
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perhaps our generation ppl tend to get more wild ... even after marriage
our parents generation didnt really think so much
other then getting married and bearing children starting a family
the younger generation likes to seek pleasure and excitement -
Dear Changb57,
People enter marriage for a multitude of reasons
financial security, spousal support, to have children, love, it being the right time & being pressured by family members being the most common reasons for taking the step towards marriage.
Love is, to me, the ONLY reason why you should get married. You should be mentally prepared for marriage & what the marriage vows entail. The reason why marriages fail more often nowadays may be attributed to individuals Not taking marriage as seriously as before. Perhaps they're faced with better options, such as better alimony, perceived "better" partners, focusing on career, etc.
However, there have been instances when 2 people enter a marriage for the right reason, & end up being very happy. I know 1 particular couple who's like that, & they have 2 children. Perhaps we shouldn't be so pessimistic & instead, should try & see where some people succeed.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by changb57:since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world??? -
No, love isn't the only reason to get married. You can still love and not get married. Marriage is almost the highest form of commitment between two parties. That's why one of the reasons for the failure of some marriages is that couples are unable to commit to each other on a long term basis and start having affairs.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Dear Changb57,
People enter marriage for a multitude of reasons financial security, spousal support, to have children, love, it being the right time & being pressured by family members being the most common reasons for taking the step towards marriage.
Love is, to me, the ONLY reason why you should get married. You should be mentally prepared for marriage & what the marriage vows entail. The reason why marriages fail more often nowadays may be attributed to individuals Not taking marriage as seriously as before. Perhaps they're faced with better options, such as better alimony, perceived "better" partners, focusing on career, etc.
However, there have been instances when 2 people enter a marriage for the right reason, & end up being very happy. I know 1 particular couple who's like that, & they have 2 children. Perhaps we shouldn't be so pessimistic & instead, should try & see where some people succeed.
FeowFeow
You cannot say that 'better alimony' is a possible reason for a break-up of marriage! That means the marriage was consummated on the premise that a spouse will be financially better off following a divorce!
If a couple enters into a marriage for the right reasons (i.e. willingness to commit), it is highly likely that the marriage will last. -
Yes ... some women are worst den man ........ the world now ..... sigh disappointed .....Originally posted by changb57:since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world??? -
same case as mine ......Originally posted by changb57:then i think i am bad luck to surround by all the broken one
i don see any value in marriage already.....too many affairs going around....not only men...women also.....just heard my friend going for divorce after less then a year marriage ....they just register last year......and his wife got an affair....
very heart breaking..... -
Very sorry to hear that...but it still can't stop me from marry a gal that I loved.Originally posted by changb57:since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world???
Cheers,
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Enviroment is a big issues. Friends & colluges comparing ...
Even Laws is in-directly supporting divorce, Singapore Famous "Women's Chapter".
Heard many women talks, "Divorce Him, can have 50% of all his Monies."
It's fair to support the kids & for ex-wife. These laws should be only accessable to true cases.
Last of all, people do change & they change faster this generation. -
Married already?Originally posted by SpeedStar:Very sorry to hear that...but it still can't stop me from getting married to a gal that I loved.
Cheers,
Cheers -
paisei salah...hahaOriginally posted by M©+square:Married already?
Cheers
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Good that you know what you're talking about.Originally posted by SpeedStar:paisei salah...haha
Let's continue with the topic.
Cheers -
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Yep yep....what a man can do, the women can also do nowadays...although I have yet to see a women with several "smaller husbands" or 4 husbands.Originally posted by changb57:since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world??? -
1. I'm afraid my post was misunderstood. I said TO ME, love is the only reason to get married. I also listed out a multitude of common reasons why people get married nowadays.
2. I think your 2nd sentence is irrelevant to my post. I'm Not arguing whether people should or should Not get married because of love. I'm saying that love should be the main reason why people get married.
3. With true love, chances that 2 people want to remain committed might be higher.
4. Why can't I say that better alimony is a possible reason for the breakup of marriage? What I'm saying is that it's 1 of the factors that may contribute to the higher divorce stats nowadays. If you wanna debate with me, please try to provide a more intelligent argument rather than nitpick without anything better to add.
5. Lastly, willingness to commit also stems from love. If you wanna deny that, then I don't think we should even waste time arguing.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by JLennon:No, love isn't the only reason to get married. You can still love and not get married. Marriage is almost the highest form of commitment between two parties. That's why one of the reasons for the failure of some marriages is that couples are unable to commit to each other on a long term basis and start having affairs.
You cannot say that 'better alimony' is a possible reason for a break-up of marriage! That means the marriage was consummated on the premise that a spouse will be financially better off following a divorce!
If a couple enters into a marriage for the right reasons (i.e. willingness to commit), it is highly likely that the marriage will last. -
hi feowfeow,
yes people married cos main reason is love and people divorce is also no love......and nowaday love is still so fragile.....and also people change in the fast speed....Stress level in singapore is so high after marriage......be it money work or life......sometimes work till no time for family.....
i am the good example,....first no love, second no time together, third hubby changes......and in the end...i choose the path of divorce...after trying to salvage my marriage cos of my kids.....all my effort waste....until i give up....
i guess nowaday it is not easy to sustain a long term marriage...
honestly speaking, now I rather 'cohabit' then marriage.....cos i see no value in marriage anymore......
did i speel the work correctly...hehe -
Originally posted by changb57:since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world??? Why are you all getting so cynical about marriage JUST BECAUSE there is this current trend of increasing divorce?
Statistic means nothing if you work to be the exception.
A failed marriage doesn't mean you are a failure in Love - it simply means that there is something you failed to learn and got owned by the reality of marriage.
Will there come a time when Love becomes a subject and people have to take classes to understand them because self discovery and enlightenment becomes a myth?
I am telling you that the percentage of non-lasting BGR is even worst - then are you going to tell me that you will avoid Love forever?
I said this before: Most people get married because of circumstances, when in fact, it should be the fruition of your Love. What is the meaning of Fruition?
I) Realization of something desired or worked for; accomplishment: labor finally coming to fruition.
II) Enjoyment derived from use or possession.
III) The condition of bearing fruit. Lemme post some common scenario:
If you discover that your partner is someone not particularly suitable... will you break with him/her because of incompatibility? Chances are, you may - but problem comes in when this relationship is already 6 years and there isn't any major problem at all. It is generally harmonious and mutual family already acknowledge your presence and anticipating for a wedding.
There are pressures involved (parental, biological, etc). Then you go with the flow... of accepting the marriage and pushing these REAL issue into avoidance.
Is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?
***
You have a relationship of five years, generally harmonious and have a healthy sex life. One fine day, the woman is pregnant. You are financially well-to-do and money isn't an issue to you. Chances are, you will get married.
Without getting into the morality of abortion and such: a shotgun marriage... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?
***
Here
If the topic starter were to accept the proposal... a marriage due to emotional insecurity.... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?
*** There isn't meaning in marriage... you CREATE meaning in YOUR marriage. 
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
u mentioned long term relationships.. what about short term ones? Why are you all getting so cynical about marriage JUST BECAUSE there is this current trend of increasing divorce?
Statistic means nothing if you work to be the exception.
A failed marriage doesn't mean you are a failure in Love - it simply means that there is something you failed to learn and got owned by the reality of marriage.
Will there come a time when Love becomes a subject and people have to take classes to understand them because self discovery and enlightenment becomes a myth?
I am telling you that the percentage of non-lasting BGR is even worst - then are you going to tell me that you will avoid Love forever?
I said this before: [b]Most people get married because of circumstances, when in fact, it should be the fruition of your Love. What is the meaning of Fruition?
I) Realization of something desired or worked for; accomplishment: labor finally coming to fruition.
II) Enjoyment derived from use or possession.
III) The condition of bearing fruit. Lemme post some common scenario:
If you discover that your partner is someone not particularly suitable... will you break with him/her because of incompatibility? Chances are, you may - but problem comes in when this relationship is already 6 years and there isn't any major problem at all. It is generally harmonious and mutual family already acknowledge your presence and anticipating for a wedding.
There are pressures involved (parental, biological, etc). Then you go with the flow... of accepting the marriage and pushing these REAL issue into avoidance.
Is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?
***
You have a relationship of five years, generally harmonious and have a healthy sex life. One fine day, the woman is pregnant. You are financially well-to-do and money isn't an issue to you. Chances are, you will get married.
Without getting into the morality of abortion and such: a shotgun marriage... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?
***
Here
If the topic starter were to accept the proposal... a marriage due to emotional insecurity.... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?
*** There isn't meaning in marriage... you CREATE meaning in YOUR marriage.
Cheers[/b] -
You are right that willingness to commit stems from love but in my opinion, not all people who love are willing to commit (which was the point that i wanted to put across but failed to elaborate).Originally posted by FeowFeow:1. I'm afraid my post was misunderstood. I said TO ME, love is the only reason to get married. I also listed out a multitude of common reasons why people get married nowadays.
2. I think your 2nd sentence is irrelevant to my post. I'm Not arguing whether people should or should Not get married because of love. I'm saying that love should be the main reason why people get married.
3. With true love, chances that 2 people want to remain committed might be higher.
4. Why can't I say that better alimony is a possible reason for the breakup of marriage? What I'm saying is that it's 1 of the factors that may contribute to the higher divorce stats nowadays. If you wanna debate with me, please try to provide a more intelligent argument rather than nitpick without anything better to add.
5. Lastly, willingness to commit also stems from love. If you wanna deny that, then I don't think we should even waste time arguing.
FeowFeow
As for better alimony being a possible reason for breakup, that seems strange cos i view alimony as a result of a divorce and not as a cause for divorce. perhaps if one of the parties has difficulties in obtaining financial support from the other and decides to file for a divorce in hope that she will be granted an alimony to support herself and the family. this would however seem to me presumptuous. again, you may think that i am nitpicking and not constructive but i am just stating the grounds for my opinion as to why better alimony should not exactly constitute a reason for breakup. -
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trouble.
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It is whatever you make it or believe it to be. Why complicate things?
Another point I often notice about people posting about the sad state of the institution of marriage , and I assume this thread starter to be male, is that they almost always add the point that women are being unfaithful too, and horrors, women are just as bad or are more unfaithful than men.
What did you expect, really? Do people still have trouble believing that both genders like to have fun on the side?
I'm not sure if the posters are really lamenting the status of marriage, or if they're complaining because their ego got bruised by the fact that women philander (yes, just like men do) . I think it's both !Originally posted by changb57:since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????
i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world??? -
it takes both hands to clap
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why do they get married ?