guy problems
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you should firstly cut down your choices see which one u love most @ least leave like 2 or 3 choices this is way too many choices and also u are christian so I think christian boyfriend would be much more suitable as christian with christian will easily have common topic "Jesus" and christian can only date with christian u should know that ?
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hi..didnt have time these days to log in. i really really thank you all for your advice (even tho most are about studying xP) and well, i choose to ignore those who just flamed me. anyhow, still sorry about the major long post and erm, you guys may have just missed the point.
1. i dont want to lose ANY of them for friends or confidantes. and you know it as well as i do; it is difficult to be "just friends" if one party likes another.
2. i dont feel comfortable hurting anyone for stupid bgr stuffs like rejection and "daoing" [ignoring] especially when i still treat them as friends.
3. because of the knowing part, HOW to act around them ? especially when halfway through a "normal" conversation they suddenly insert in some statements about bgr, ie those hinting types like "heyy are you attached ?" or "i feel so lonely nowadays..can sms/call me more ?" and even "can you be my sms/online girlfriend ?" then i get all awkward and "erhhh.." and the conv just stops.
and yea, i play maplesea. ign : sheltiegirl in aquila. lvl 4X cleric. nice to meet you. -
Hmm studies more impt than relationship cos any guy can turn you flat down and what are you left with? Nothing!!! (If you've been sacrificing your studies for a guy, poor results is it worthy?). They can break your heart, smash its to smitherins.. etc.etc. Besides the chances of the relationship lasting to marriage is one in 100k. Thts slim right? Even if you can think that the guy is the one for you, he might not think that way. (Come on we're still young, we should look at all our options before settling down for one). Anyway i'm a little suffering cos of my gf because she is childish and pretty sticky to me. hr A lvl are over this friday, i'll have more trouble as she is more free to get into fights with me.
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sometimes rejection is inevitable. Even tho u do not like to hurt them, but if you want them to stop pestering you, you need to tell them directly that you would want to concentrate on your studies and have no time for all this bgr stuff.Originally posted by serenewwjd:hi..didnt have time these days to log in. i really really thank you all for your advice (even tho most are about studying xP) and well, i choose to ignore those who just flamed me. anyhow, still sorry about the major long post and erm, you guys may have just missed the point.
1. i dont want to lose ANY of them for friends or confidantes. and you know it as well as i do; it is difficult to be "just friends" if one party likes another.
2. i dont feel comfortable hurting anyone for stupid bgr stuffs like rejection and "daoing" [ignoring] especially when i still treat them as friends.
3. because of the knowing part, HOW to act around them ? especially when halfway through a "normal" conversation they suddenly insert in some statements about bgr, ie those hinting types like "heyy are you attached ?" or "i feel so lonely nowadays..can sms/call me more ?" and even "can you be my sms/online girlfriend ?" then i get all awkward and "erhhh.." and the conv just stops.
and yea, i play maplesea. ign : sheltiegirl in aquila. lvl 4X cleric. nice to meet you.
I think these guys are just acting desperate. "Can you just be my sms/online girlfriend?" Ever thought that it sounds a bit insincere from the way they asked you? And "I am so lonely nowadays...etc." These are all not the right reason to get involved in a bgr. I think they are looking for companion to make them feel less lonely. For me, this is a rather selfish reason to get into a relationship.
And knowing this, why would you want to waste so much time getting confused about them? You know that the intance they are not lonely anymore or maybe when they found someone better, you would be left alone.
So do them and yourself a favor, tell them that you are not looking for bgr at this current moment because you want to spend more time on your studies. Otherwise if you let it drag on, they might accuse you of leading them on. -
This is such a wrong mindset. What makes you think that Christian and non Christian can't date and be together? It might be in the Bible that when they married, the girl and guy need to both be Christian, but when dating, I do not see that as a rule that need to be followed. And a Christian and non Christian can click too, not like they have to talk about Jesus and Christianity all the time. If that is the only common thing between them, then I do not think the r/s will survive.Originally posted by ghimpheng:you should firstly cut down your choices see which one u love most @ least leave like 2 or 3 choices this is way too many choices and also u are christian so I think christian boyfriend would be much more suitable as christian with christian will easily have common topic "Jesus" and christian can only date with christian u should know that ?
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You got to understand... You simply can't be controlling the fact of whether a person would love you or not with absolute measures...Originally posted by serenewwjd:hi..didnt have time these days to log in. i really really thank you all for your advice (even tho most are about studying xP) and well, i choose to ignore those who just flamed me. anyhow, still sorry about the major long post and erm, you guys may have just missed the point.
1. i dont want to lose ANY of them for friends or confidantes. and you know it as well as i do; it is difficult to be "just friends" if one party likes another.
2. i dont feel comfortable hurting anyone for stupid bgr stuffs like rejection and "daoing" [ignoring] especially when i still treat them as friends.
3. because of the knowing part, HOW to act around them ? especially when halfway through a "normal" conversation they suddenly insert in some statements about bgr, ie those hinting types like "heyy are you attached ?" or "i feel so lonely nowadays..can sms/call me more ?" and even "can you be my sms/online girlfriend ?" then i get all awkward and "erhhh.." and the conv just stops.
and yea, i play maplesea. ign : sheltiegirl in aquila. lvl 4X cleric. nice to meet you.
If you LIKE to keep them... FINE.. But UNDERSTAND that IT'S YOUR CHOICE? Just like if I would like to keep a tiger as a pet... Though I know it bites, I can only face the consequences..? -
guy "S" and guy "K" should be out of your choice I think
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c'mon, make frenz onli mah... it's you who thinks dirty...Originally posted by R3SsH|n:omg...you are so damn obvious...she is just 14 year old...keep your dirty thoughts to yourself... -
Originally posted by serenewwjd:
My my, you really have plenty of choices...... but for the time being, concentrate on what life is all about..... No man you can still survive..... no education....... you know what will happen?
hi. i read thru some of the posts on this site, and found it pretty "useful". ie, people really try to help, unlike other forums. i should start with a self intro :
i am a Christian girl from singapore, 14 years of age, currently studying in Raffles Girls' Sec Sch [lets call this "premier school"]. okay i maintain my viewpoint that i am NOT showing off: you'll see the connection between schools later..
14yearsold, very young. yepp, so i would like to find out a few answers here..
basically, i have guy problems. -.-
(lets name the guys with the first letter of their name.)
Guy A1 is in my tennis class. i see him every sunday for lessons. he's also 14 and studying in Saint Patricks' (which is just around Marine Parade; neighbourhood school). i can tell he likes me cos'
1. the coaches never gave him a break about it; kept teasing him especially when i was around. my friend from the class before me, overheard one of the coaches and his conversation and it went something like "you like serene arh ?" and Guy A1 has no reply. He's a Christian too by the way, i believe he doesn't lie.
2. he always always goes out of his way to make small talk. if we get paired, while waiting for both our turns, after the doubles' game when we were supposed to pick up the tennis balls, after the lesson, during water breaks...you name it.
3. major giveaway : when the coaches tease him about liking me, he just refuses to look me in the eye or even in my direction. i just act stupid and pretend not to hear, or "huh?".
he is quite a nice guy overall, "good feeling" about him, but no crush or infatuation. yet. but im still awkward being around him and well, don't know how to act when im with him.
Guy R is from my church. i (used to) crush him. he's 16 and homeschooling. we have an "sms relationship" which dates back to jul04 (last year). november he was going to cambodia for mission trip, and well..i guess i was a little afraid he'd get blown up or something -.- so i told him i liked him and he replied with "actually..i like you alot too ((:" but i said no when he took another step (ie stead), and gave him all the waffles about having to spend more time on my studies. i wasn't ready for that commitment yet. and so after that, smses consisted of the "norm" and also the occasional "i miss you"s.
in feb05, the sms relationship started to "die". smses got less frequent, and more one liner answers. since then, its a hot-cold relationship. hots are around 2 days, colds can last up to 2 months. now he still calls me sometimes just to chat. approx time : 45mins on one conv on the phone. when i see him on sunday, he comes over to talk to me only when both our gangs are not around. he plays guitar for the youth worship you see, so sometimes when he's onstage doing last-min rehearsing he stares at me. yea i ignore him (tsk he sposed to be concentrating !).
[b]problem : in his smses, he comments on how rarely i sms him nowadays, and somehow never fails to drop a "she" referring to another friend of his. i know hes trying to make me "jealous". one of my used-to-be close friend told me he changes crushes "like changing clothes liddat". and he has crushed this close friend before. because of a church project, this girl and me had contrasting views and we fell out. about a week after, he smsed me to tell me about the church project and HIS views and said i shouldnt be so harsh on that close friend. i got very very pissed with him. cos' i apologised to her on the phone 5 days before he smsed me about the harshness thing (ie 2 days after the fallout). and conveniently added in "i was just having a nice little chat with [name of close fren] and i think you shouldnt be so harsh on her...." he still looks at me in church tho. it's bad. he still calls me, but i never initiate convs with him thru sms or reallife anymore. i dont know what i should do with him. i dont even know whether i like him anymore.
Guy A2 is from my church as well. 14 this year in a neighbourhood school. he has crushed me since jun04 and still does until now. he's good friends with Guy R and he knows i like Guy R and vice versa. but he still continues to "pester" me. including trailing after me thruout J8 for one whole hour, "stalking" me when im in church, sticking to me whenever i'm on gaming MapleStory. basically he's the irritating guy. i have already told him countless times i don't like him cos' he's not my type at all. i go for the good guys. he has done smoking and inhalents before to "try", didnt get hooked. constantly gets into fistfights.. that type. if he were good looking, he would be labelled as a flirt: crushes around 3-5 girls at once. any ideas how i can further convey that i do not like him at all ? i have told him more than three times and ignore him when gaming and on msn.
Guy C is also from my church. 17 this year in Poly. i was helping him get over his previous relationship problems and he suddenly turns around and says he likes me. i gave him more of the waffles about studies and being too busy. he accepted it but still stares at me in church and comes to talk to me frequently. or "try to". after a cold period, i thought he didnt like me anymore, so we went back to our "kor-mei" (brother-sister) relationship. good friends still. then he comes and asks me to stead him AGAIN. more waffles about studies and pointedly gave him cold shoulder till now. refusing to talk to him at all. i have no idea what to do with him either.
Guy S is an "online friend". 18yrs old. we have gotten to know each other quite well. and in a sense he is my "senior" cos' he's from raffles junior college [premier school]. i can't say i have "feelings" for him cos' after all, he IS an online friend. he has recently started minor hinting to me about being his gf. we were talking about further studies and he was worrying over the fact that he didnt have a gf. so i said "when you go US your uni will be full of smart people like you. sure have gf then." he was like "no la..im so dumb. nobody will want me de. lol when i come back to singapore with no gf you be mine can?" and there wasnt any "jk =X" or any of that sort following it. he is still a very good confidante and friend of mine now and i don't want to lose that because of a silly mistake.
Guy K is also an "online friend". 16 years old. he is my "kor" online cos' well, he's older than me ! we're gaming partners and recently he has gotten very possessive of me. online that is. i was at a map with some high level pro person waiting for a big monster to come out. he came and found me chatting quite happily to this stranger and got really mad at me. just waged a hokkien insulting war on this guy, and of course, the guy shot back with multitudes of hokkien words. i didnt understand hokkien so i just kept quiet. some words i could understand, but i pretended not to. when the pro guy finally went off to do something, kor lashed out at me. calling me names, scolding me. i tolerated. cos' i know he has problems managing his temper. but he really hurt me with some names.
so we had cold war again (we had one just before that incident, when he was still supposedly mad at me but he came to find me.) two days. and it was during his olevels. he has two accounts and from one he deleted me from his "buddy". i was even more hurt by that. and i went to my favourite place to destress in the game. when i came out of that place, i saw him there waiting for me. so i randomly said a "hello kor" [it was courtesy]. we talked abit but never brought up the two cold wars we had. so now the relationship is back to "normal" but i keep feeling that something that was there before is gone. he's from a neighbourhood school also btw. any help i could get for this "relationship" ? he's been quite a good friend to me..
i totally apologise for this long entry ^.^ and when dearest friends answer, you might wanna highlight copy and paste the question you are answering as a quote, instead of quoting the WHOLE passage which gets irritating as you try and scroll down xD thanks dudes ![/b]