The Dating Game - Love it or hate it?
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It's been quite some time since I last broke up with my ex and I feel that I've already given myself enough "cooling time" , 6 months to be precise and I've decided to play the dating game once again....
Of course I have someone in mind and her Os are gonna be over in 3 days time but there's just one main problem which I should be most concerned about. There's this guy who has been chasing her for the past 2 years but to avail. From what I've heard so far , the last time he confessed his feelings for her , she rejected him nicely and she being open minded enough , accepted him back as a normal friend and it seems that he still hasn't stop in his pursuit for her heart. Right now the girl I like and him are close friends. The thing is , he is ahead of me by a lot of steps assuming that he still intends to pursue her.
Being open minded for a girl like her , she lets him send her home on some occasions , goes out with him but all is done within the constrains of a friendship and nothing more than that....
Basically I find it kinda hard to even arrange a group outing with her as she has her own schedules which I respect but all I'm hoping now is a series of group outings to make me get to know her better. I'm not eyeing for love or a relationship from her currently but at this moment , I regard her as someone whom is worth getting to know more about. He still has the hots for her and hangs out with her often since they stay near each other. Since I've known her for 2 years , one might say that I don't even need a group outing to woo her but over this period of 2 years , it's like I try to woo her for 2-3 months , then stop and then woo her again and then stop. Whenever I stop wooing is because I find it so hard just to even get to know her better given how much dedication she puts into her studies and that's why I'm banking on this period of time since It's after the O levels to get to know her better.
Okay back to that guy....
I think I'm quite good in anticipating his moves towards her. Take for example , when it was her birthday and a few hours before I was to meet her to give her present , I saw his MSN nick which read something like this , "I'm going out to study". Being an analytical and proactive person ,
I already had this damn strong feeling inside that he would also be there even though my friend refused to listen to my crap , in the end HE WAS INDEED THERE....
To cut a long story short , I gave her the present , waved and said "Hi" to him and left. Caught him telling his friend who was with him some stuff about me which kinda pissed me off a bit but that doesn't really bother me much.
So basically , how do I deal with a love competitor?
I've read in love books that the best way to win a girls heart with a love competitor is to be yourself which I really intend to be. By being yourself , there will always be a chance that that love competitor seeing me as a threat , forces himself to confess his feelings for her which 99.99% ends up in a rejection for whatever strange masculine reason he might have. Can anybody please enlighten me on how to deal with a love competitor? Your comments are very much appreciated....
Or should I just extent my "line of sight" to keep my options open? -
Ignore ur competitor. Juz do ur best. But never use underhand methods.
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What do you mean by underhand methods? Like playing dirty?Originally posted by browniebaobao:Ignore ur competitor. Juz do ur best. But never use underhand methods. -
Originally posted by rammstein619:What do you mean by underhand methods? Like playing dirty?
like backstabbing that guy lor.
my buddy's ex did that, 'helped' her to break up with another 'ex' then win her heart. Stoop so low. I dun like him. -
Definitely NO!
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Definitely NO!
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treat her well and she will realise who to choose ( but of course dun be just like treat her good only.. bring her out ASAP and have fun then she will rmb u more.. )
anyway, dun play dirty to a love competitor.. if he goes telling that to the girl, u are dead..
good luck in chasing the girl! jia you wor! 
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ok, 1 more advice.. act fast and swife.. dun tu liao! ask her out now the moment u read this.. really dun wait! u have only 1 competitor i have dunno how many leh..
but nvm.. i with my gf 2+years liao.. -
No.
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Originally posted by rammstein619:It's been quite some time since I last broke up with my ex and I feel that I've already given myself enough "cooling time" , 6 months to be precise and I've decided to play the dating game once again....
Of course I have someone in mind and her Os are gonna be over in 3 days time but there's just one main problem which I should be most concerned about. There's this guy who has been chasing her for the past 2 years but to avail. From what I've heard so far , the last time he confessed his feelings for her , she rejected him nicely and she being open minded enough , accepted him back as a normal friend and it seems that he still hasn't stop in his pursuit for her heart. Right now the girl I like and him are close friends. The thing is , he is ahead of me by a lot of steps assuming that he still intends to pursue her.
Being open minded for a girl like her , she lets him send her home on some occasions , goes out with him but all is done within the constrains of a friendship and nothing more than that....
Basically I find it kinda hard to even arrange a group outing with her as she has her own schedules which I respect but all I'm hoping now is a series of group outings to make me get to know her better. I'm not eyeing for love or a relationship from her currently but at this moment , I regard her as someone whom is worth getting to know more about. He still has the hots for her and hangs out with her often since they stay near each other. Since I've known her for 2 years , one might say that I don't even need a group outing to woo her but over this period of 2 years , it's like I try to woo her for 2-3 months , then stop and then woo her again and then stop. Whenever I stop wooing is because I find it so hard just to even get to know her better given how much dedication she puts into her studies and that's why I'm banking on this period of time since It's after the O levels to get to know her better.
Okay back to that guy....
I think I'm quite good in anticipating his moves towards her. Take for example , when it was her birthday and a few hours before I was to meet her to give her present , I saw his MSN nick which read something like this , "I'm going out to study". Being an analytical and proactive person ,
I already had this damn strong feeling inside that he would also be there even though my friend refused to listen to my crap , in the end HE WAS INDEED THERE....
To cut a long story short , I gave her the present , waved and said "Hi" to him and left. Caught him telling his friend who was with him some stuff about me which kinda pissed me off a bit but that doesn't really bother me much.
So basically , how do I deal with a love competitor?
I've read in love books that the best way to win a girls heart with a love competitor is to be yourself which I really intend to be. By being yourself , there will always be a chance that that love competitor seeing me as a threat , forces himself to confess his feelings for her which 99.99% ends up in a rejection for whatever strange masculine reason he might have. Can anybody please enlighten me on how to deal with a love competitor? Your comments are very much appreciated....
Or should I just extent my "line of sight" to keep my options open?
Maybe it is just me (Or because of my Moon in Aries). I love competitions in the chase. I feel that if there isn't any competition in the chase, you are only experiencing half the deal. And the process should be more important than the result itself (that is to be with her). Don't be mistaken, I am NOT an aggressive lover and is more than willing to accept my Love's decision if it wasn't me. But because only through others, you see a bigger picture and your learning expand.
Being yourself is far to general to help you on anything. How is being yourself going to help you win the girl of your dreams? The key is to understand yourself... your strength/weakness analysis and using them to improve your advantage to secure your love. If you don't even understand yourself well enough, how do you even know what weapons to employ in love's warring field? I will explain your situation through a marketing context.
What you are attempting to do is to somehow... persuade this customer (your love) to:
I) See you in different light and probably give you the chance to explore your 'brand'.
II) Gradually accept and see your 'brand' as premium.
III) Purchase your product (your love).
She isn't a loyal customer of your competitor. Like what you have mention, she is merely keeping an open mind to him. And it also goes to show that she will be receptive of new 'brands' like yourself. Since she isn't a loyal customer, it would be easier for her to do a 'switch' of 'brands', if the condition is right and there are REASONS why she should do it.
Having more 'advertisement exposure' (meeting her personally, chat on phone, sms, email, MSN, etc), doesn't necessary make him a superior brand and MORE importantly, doesn't mean that what your competitor is trying to sell to her... is what she is looking for AND form part of her needs.
Haven't we met enough salesman, trying all means to sell us their products that has little use to us? Or worst, not a need at all? They can go about blabbering all the positive usage of their product, but because we don't need them... we don't see a reason to part our cash (and in your case, her Love).
A good sales person understands his/her customer (your love) well. More often than not, people feel good making a purchase from a good salesman, not just his product. There is a relationship beyond that of a buyer and seller context. The service they provide makes a difference between all other products or 'brand' (Love).
Do you understand yourself well enough to package yourself in such a way that your strength is position in a manner where it is exactly what she is looking for in a guy?
This is to sell yourself... by being yourself.
Cheers -
GAME
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got got.. end up become frens.
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There must be something you like about her and she likes about you in a dating relationship...right?
I mean, you cant like a person for....liking her. There must be something...some reason...
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
understand myself as in finding out my strengths and weaknesses?
[b]Do you understand yourself well enough to package yourself in such a way that your strength is position in a manner where it is exactly what she is looking for in a guy?
This is to sell yourself... by being yourself.
Cheers[/b] -
rammstein619 to win someone over is not that diffcult ...but needs lots of time, energy and effort..
Are you ready for the long hard road to win her heart?
Can you ask yourself sincerely why u like her?
seems like you are only interested in playing the so call love game.. but have u ever thought of what the girl really wants?
Love is never a game about who winning which girl but about giving selflessly to the one you love.
Tell me honestly why you like her? her looks ? her character? or her hairstyle?
Why should u be even concern about other guys when u yourself is not even ready to go after her? -
long story u got... but still jsut go for it la... no need to worry abt any competitor since if she wans him they would be together long liao so jz walk in n woo her...
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Am I ready for a long hard road to win her heart?Originally posted by drx:rammstein619 to win someone over is not that diffcult ...but needs lots of time, energy and effort..
Are you ready for the long hard road to win her heart?
Can you ask yourself sincerely why u like her?
seems like you are only interested in playing the so call love game.. but have u ever thought of what the girl really wants?
Love is never a game about who winning which girl but about giving selflessly to the one you love.
Tell me honestly why you like her? her looks ? her character? or her hairstyle?
Why should u be even concern about other guys when u yourself is not even ready to go after her?
I am willing to take the long hard road to win her heart but you can say that I'm a little bit edgy and hasty now maybe O levels are gonna be over freedom will be coming her way....
As for the love game part , it is indeed some food for thought for me. The fact being I can't guage my love towards her because first thing's first , It's been how many months since we last saw each other let alone even talk , second thing being she can't really chat much on sms , she does not even have MSN.
So right now , I'm assuming that I just got to know her and want to know her better as I find she is someone "interesting" and worth getting to know more about. I'm gonna erase whatever I did for her and start all over again on a fresh page.
I am attracted to her because of her personality. She has a very matured mindset in terms of the way she thinks , something like "wife quality" to me. Well , that's what I personally feel about her....
As for the love rival part , he seems like a guy who is all out to backstab me with his sweet tongue after seeing it for my very own eyes. I guess I should be watching my back should I intend to proceed.... -
hear ur heart
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Originally posted by rammstein619:understand myself as in finding out my strengths and weaknesses? Technically... yes. But to understand yourself may mean beyond just strength and weakness (of course, that is inclusive). We live in 'ourselves' 24/7, but seriously, only a handful truely understand themselves.
How well do you know yourself? How can you exploit yourself to work towards an advantage?
Cheers -
Too young or too naive to understand?Originally posted by Yunhaier: Technically... yes. But to understand yourself may mean beyond just strength and weakness (of course, that is inclusive). We live in 'ourselves' 24/7, but seriously, only a handful truely understand themselves.
How well do you know yourself? How can you exploit yourself to work towards an advantage?
Cheers
The way i see his questions. To me, he's not asking the right questions.
But you're kind enough...
Cheers -
Get people wallop him, if she rushed to hospital to see him, den its time u keep your options open...Originally posted by rammstein619:So basically , how do I deal with a love competitor?
Or should I just extent my "line of sight" to keep my options open?
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How come we are always on the same frequency? Thinking the exact same thing?Originally posted by M©+square:Too young or too naive to understand?
The way i see his questions. To me, he's not asking the right questions.
But you're kind enough...
Cheers
Cheers