Is he a friend??
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IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha...
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Originally posted by pete_parker:
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b]
Draw a line..help if you can
Dun't trust that guy with stuff but you can be friends with him...just dun help if u can't help yourself in the first place -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
hahahaha.....
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b] -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
Errr... draw the line... as in NO means NO
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b]
there can be no exceptions!
Even if he says if u don't help he'll starve, his family will starve... etc. NO MEANS NO!
But be prepared to lose this "friend".
errr... I don't know about you, but my friends and i do not really call each other just to keep in touch.. i mean let's face it we are all busy with our own lives... However, just because we do not call each other doesn't mean we aren't friends,
It takes one of you to make an effort to call and arrange to meet up. do that. don't wait for the other party to do it. -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
so... you're just asking whether he is a friend?
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b]
damn right he is. he sounds like a gold mine. dont worry. your investments in him will pay off, sooner or later. this fellow is showing a lot of prospect and certainly has the potential to become the next oei hong leong.
do not be a fool by drawing a line. keep giving him money regardless of your bills and needs. furthermore, you do have an obligation to help him since he has helped you BIG TIME, several times.
let him brush you off. the deals that he'd talk about will probably confused you anyway, since your life is pathetic, so why try to understand more than you can comprehend?
how can you say that he is delusional? not when your life is pathetic! especially not. he helped you several times afterall. all that talk that you're bloody, sick and tired is full of rubbish. he is your ONLY friend that cares about you afterall! do your job as a proper friend and give him your atm card and the password to it. -
Next time he brushes you off saying you don't know how much he makes through gambling, tell him, "Since you earn so much, then it's only fair for you to pay me back what you owe me, & still have some left over for the next time you wanna gamble. No need to borrow from me."
FeowFeowOriginally posted by pete_parker:
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b] -
if you dont call each other how can you be friends?Originally posted by smudgey:Errr... draw the line... as in NO means NO
there can be no exceptions!
Even if he says if u don't help he'll starve, his family will starve... etc. NO MEANS NO!
But be prepared to lose this "friend".
errr... I don't know about you, but my friends and i do not really call each other just to keep in touch.. i mean let's face it we are all busy with our own lives... However, just because we do not call each other doesn't mean we aren't friends,
It takes one of you to make an effort to call and arrange to meet up. do that. don't wait for the other party to do it. -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
this kind of fren dun wan also wont kill u 1.... If u continue lending him... u not helping him... u are harming him
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b] -
dun have to call each other to be frenz bah...Originally posted by dragg:if you dont call each other how can you be friends?
i have a fren in HK, we seldom keep in contact cos... we're always bz with work...
our schedules are very different...
but still, we're as close as we are, 9 years ago, when she made the move to HK -
you must have so form of communications. the frequency can be lower because both of you are busy.Originally posted by shinta:dun have to call each other to be frenz bah...
i have a fren in HK, we seldom keep in contact cos... we're always bz with work...
our schedules are very different...
but still, we're as close as we are, 9 years ago, when she made the move to HK -
You're helping him out of guilt.
I'm not sure how much his friendship is worth to you after all the resentment.
Decide when you've paid your dues. Then tell him it's the last time you're lending him money without feeling guilty about it. If he takes it badly, you just have to accept that this friendship cannot be maintained.Originally posted by pete_parker:He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… -
his gambling habits aside. did he pay you back?
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No.. but when he wins, he wld sometimes treat me to dinner etcOriginally posted by dragg:his gambling habits aside. did he pay you back?
Why shld i feel guilty... from day one, i have told him that u can't depend on gambling for a living.Originally posted by choco B:You're helping him out of guilt.
I'm not sure how much his friendship is worth to you after all the resentment.
Decide when you've paid your dues. Then tell him it's the last time you're lending him money without feeling guilty about it. If he takes it badly, you just have to accept that this friendship cannot be maintained. -
don't ask him for help and don't help fund his habit. The only way to be his true friend is not to set him back to his gambling ways. But never ask another person to be a "true" friend cause nothing in this world is true.
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You just said you feel obliged to help him
If there's no obligation, and you don't want to, then don't! Just turn him down.Originally posted by pete_parker:Why shld i feel guilty... from day one, i have told him that u can't depend on gambling for a living. -
This is a small incident but it prob upsets me badly cos i'm already feelin bad abt the state of my life (the lack of good frens & connections)...Originally posted by smudgey:Errr... draw the line... as in NO means NO
there can be no exceptions!
Even if he says if u don't help he'll starve, his family will starve... etc. NO MEANS NO!
But be prepared to lose this "friend".
errr... I don't know about you, but my friends and i do not really call each other just to keep in touch.. i mean let's face it we are all busy with our own lives... However, just because we do not call each other doesn't mean we aren't friends,
It takes one of you to make an effort to call and arrange to meet up. do that. don't wait for the other party to do it.
I've tried but ultimately i feel i dun rely matter to them, that's why they are treating me in an indifferent manner. It's not the number of calls or frequency of contacts that matters... i know... but u wld also know it if ur fren doesn't rely value u
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1 question what do he bet on ?
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Dun lend him anymore money.
Tell his frens not to lend him money also.
Lening him money is as good as pushing him to hell.
He have to quit gambling, and u ain't helping by lending him money. -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
WIDEN YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE.
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha... [/b] -
Help is by means of helping him wake up his senses n stop his disgusting habit.
If all else fails.. cut ties with him. He's not a fren but a parasite. -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
IÂ’ve known him since secondary sch, he is a ok guy except that he is a [b]persistent, habituate gamblerÂ…
Almost every 2-3 months without fail, he would call & borrow money from me. He has helped me a few time before & thus feel I have an obligation to help him bacÂ… I have long expressed my disgust at his gambling habits. But he would always brush it off, saying I donÂ’t know how much he has make thru gamblings. HeÂ’s an extremely self-confident & almost (I feel) delusional abt his gambling habits.
How had he help you? You repay that with money? How cheap life can be then.
First thing first of all, he commented that you don't know how much he has make thru gamblings, reply him "Yes, you don't know". How can you possibly know how much he earn thru gambling when he keep borrowing money from you? Let his "self-confident" kill him. Sometimes, you just have to know where to draw the line to return favours.
I already tried to draw a line between us, but whenever he needs money, he would call me non-stop (if I dun answer) & expects me to pass him some money, however little the amount isÂ…
Question, if you already draw a line, then how possible it is for him to contact you and borrow money from you again and again?
I'm so bloody sick & tired of all these rubbish.... It's sad enuff that i do not have many close, supportive friends. None of the friends i knew ever call me to keep in touch or express any concern... the only "fren" who keeps contacting me is one who jus wans to borrow money..
If none of the friends you knew ever call you to keep in touch or express any concern, then tell yourself it's time to load in new friends and as for those you mentioned, think you can cast them aside already. They are no longer there in your life. And if you think your that "only friend" treats you as friend, then I think you are really pathetic. Sounds to me that you are nothing more than a mear ATM for him and the best thing is, he don't have to deposit any money in the account to draw them out. Why let him make use of your kindness? Your kindness, in this case, has become your greatest weakness.
Hey, I'm not really heavily in debt, but can you lend me $2000? I'm not a gambler but had to borrow money for my hospital bills.
Wake up pal. If you have money to spare, please do some donations to old folks homes or buy foodstuffs for those poor ah gong ah mah who's living by themselves.
Hahaha... how pathetic can my life be.... hahahaha...
I can make your life unpathetic in matters of seconds. Take out your handphone and type this msg "Just to inform you that I will never lend you money ever again from now on. And if this cost our friendship, then be it"
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Just say no. money is hard to come by and you have worked hard for it. make sure he works hard for his money as well.
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good morning.....
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u v OT leh..Originally posted by M©+square:good morning..... -
WAH... How many hours ya slept..??Originally posted by M©+square:good morning..... 