Dilemma
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Hi,
I am in two minds. I knew a gal from poly and she is in the last yr of studies but she is always very busy. She is a nice gal simple yet good. She has to handle her project, assignments and exams and most of the time she does not go on date with me and to the extent not holding hands with me. I felt so insecure. But I know we are both in love but not sure if this is puppy love? I wanted to give up thinking I still have to wait for her to go to Uni which is quite sometime later. How should I maintain a very normal and strong relationship with her?
If anyone could advise me, thanks! -
Keep on treating her as your friend. HOwever, still leave little hints that you like her. Dun push her though. Give her time and space and leave matters of her feelings towards you manifester by themselves.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
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In your service,
Essence -
I can understand y u felt insecure, becoz u dun really know whether if this love can carry on or whether if this love is worth carrying on or not. Maybe this qns was popped in ur mind becoz of pple the number of times that both of u go out, or maybe it's becoz the entend of not holding hands when u go out. All these led to insecurity of ur r/s. As humans, I think it's becoz of our nature, that wants to haf someone to hug and hold physically. Whether we haf a gf/bf or not, we still need someone to care abt us and love us...
The fortunate thing is that, now u haf an idea of wat sort of r/s problem that u will be facing. U can be sure in whether u can understand her situation in the future or not. If u can put urself in her position, then maybe both of u may haf a blissful future.
However, if u say that u r unsure if u shld be giving it up or not, then I think chances is that ur love for her has shifted... but hey, no worries... It doesn't mean that u r fickle-minded in love. It's just that ciumstances made u feel uncertain abt the r/s. Try to understand her position, but it will take a lot of patience.
One way when both of u go out, u can drop hints to hold hands and things like sort... Maybe if u see something new, u will be more willing to wait for her.. Maybe just tell how u feel to her... and Tell her that u understand her position, and will not force her o do things. Coz in a r/s, both haf to be truthful and able to get the load of each other's mind.. then it's called love...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
hmm, i'm not too sure what exactly is your current situation.
what do u mean "u know both of u are in love" ??
are u 2 officially attached ??
whether or not, i think u should have a frank talk with her about the current situation, your feelings towards her, and what changes u hope to achieve with her.
cos i feel that there's no point worrying or thinking things if u dont voice it out directly to the person involved.
but good luck to u anyway !!
ps: but if i were the girl, however busy i were, if i truly cared for u, i would definitely make time to spend time at least twice a week with u. but that's me lah, i dont know exactly how this girl behaves. -
Thanks MeowMeow,Originally posted by MeowMeow:hmm, i'm not too sure what exactly is your current situation.
what do u mean "u know both of u are in love" ??
are u 2 officially attached ??
whether or not, i think u should have a frank talk with her about the current situation, your feelings towards her, and what changes u hope to achieve with her.
cos i feel that there's no point worrying or thinking things if u dont voice it out directly to the person involved.
but good luck to u anyway !!
ps: but if i were the girl, however busy i were, if i truly cared for u, i would definitely make time to spend time at least twice a week with u. but that's me lah, i dont know exactly how this girl behaves.
We are already together as a couple but it's just that she is always busy and we do not have time for dates. Once a week maybe because I am working. Thus as what u have suggested, I feel very insecure. She just seems too pre-occupied with her studies, project and sometimes when I talked to her about going out for a quiet moment, she will divert the attention to something else. Maybe I should let nature take its course and time will tell. I really thank you for giving me the advice.
Thanks to the others to have given me the advice. -
o .... so the situtation is like that arh ....Originally posted by windcloud:Thanks MeowMeow,
We are already together as a couple but it's just that she is always busy and we do not have time for dates. Once a week maybe because I am working. Thus as what u have suggested, I feel very insecure. She just seems too pre-occupied with her studies, project and sometimes when I talked to her about going out for a quiet moment, she will divert the attention to something else.
well, i do know of couples who meet only once a week, but actually both parties must be comfortable and satisfied with this arrangement or else its not too good.
but personally, i think its more common to see couples that want to spend as much time as possible with each other.
i mean, even if u need to do homework and revise and stuff, u can also do it at each other's place ?? -
It's ok to meet once in a while. I'm a living example. Due to work commitments, I can only see my girlfriend once a week, but I make sure we spent that amount of valuable time preciously.
When I am on standby duty, I can't even see her for that whole week!!
It all boils down to communication and understanding. Of course u must let her have confidence in the relationship. It's how u reassures her.
All the best!! -
Hmm... Think I can understand ur situation better now.... I personnally is going thru' this phase too.. I only see my gf once a mth, at most twice a mth... and each meetingis only for abt 2-3 hrz... Tried all sorts of methods to get to see her, but she rejected all of them. that includes, going all the way to her house, and wait for her.... Tried, to used the study method, but I was rejected flatly too.. haiz.. to think there's still so many pple out there who share the same kind of feeling as me...Can understand how u feel... Cna understand wat does it mean by not seeing each other..
for me I think I haf got used to it. It gifs me more time to spend wif my frens.. Told her that if she cannot go out wif me, I will goard socialising, I mean not to a bad extent lahz. butjust go out wif frens.. let her do her own stuff lorz...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Thanks Larry,Originally posted by Larry:It's ok to meet once in a while. I'm a living example. Due to work commitments, I can only see my girlfriend once a week, but I make sure we spent that amount of valuable time preciously.
When I am on standby duty, I can't even see her for that whole week!!
It all boils down to communication and understanding. Of course u must let her have confidence in the relationship. It's how u reassures her.
All the best!!
But I think being a couple, both should spend more time together esp in your case where u have only a couple of hours to spend. If not, your relationship may go stale but as for mine, I am not sure yet. I really hope to give her time but I do not wish to be unfaithful to her by getting another gf. Thus it is important to communicate.
Cheerios