wat shld i do...
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This morning as i was helping my gf to backup files in her cpu, i accidentally read an icq's history file. Thru the content of this file, i discovered tat my gf had sex wif another guy a year ago. She even mentioned tat she really love tat guy. But, he is attached and she has no intention of breaking them up. I dunnoe wat happened in the end. I dunnoe if they are still seeing each other...
I wanted to confront my gf on the spot but i held back. I'm confused. I do not know wat i wish to do right now... 4 yrs of relationship... shld i pretend nothing has happened or shld i talk to her about this???
(srry for my poor english) -
Do you still cherish her enough to forgive her? If so, tell her you've seen her ICQ convo history. If she is truly apologetic and sorry, then forgive her. But i suggest you read some of her other convo, see if she did the same to other guys. Some girls, you never know.
But there's always the possibility that she still likes that guy. 4 years doesn't mean you have to close an eye to whatever she's doing. If she expressly show that she still likes that guy. Then i think you should start looking for the next one.
(Oh, and get that guy's photo if possible. We'll confront him for you.
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reali sorry 2 hear tt. though its not polite of u to view ur gf chat log history,but upon seeing this,u must be terribly upset.
maybe u can find an opportunity 2 hav a talk with ur gf and ask if it reali happened?
if it happened,u gotta ask urself if u love her 2 e extend which u can forgive her.confirm wif ur gf if she reali love u, and wat r e reasons that caused her to do such a thing?
u decide for urself if 2 forgive her or nt.
there r cases where forgiveness lead to faithfulness.
its lik a gamble,just tt is it worth e stake 2 u? -
I dun get it... i really love her a lot but does tat mean i have to forgive her? I dun think i can forgive her.... at least not at this very moment... whenever i see her i tend to think of the conversation i read... i cant stop thinking...i cant pretend to be happy...
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Clearly she cheated on u. if she can cheat on u now, she can cheat on u even after u both get married.Originally posted by selling84:i discovered tat my gf had sex wif another guy a year ago. She even mentioned tat she really love
4 yrs of relationship... shld i pretend nothing has happened or shld i talk to her about this???
(srry for my poor english)
My frank opinion, if i were u, i need not hold back anything. If its realli true she had se.x w another guy while both of u together, the relationship means nothing to her. -
loving her doesnt mean u can forgive her. forgive her only when u can accept her wrong doings.Originally posted by selling84:I dun get it... i really love her a lot but does tat mean i have to forgive her? I dun think i can forgive her.... at least not at this very moment... whenever i see her i tend to think of the conversation i read... i cant stop thinking...i cant pretend to be happy...
since u do nt noe where tis relationship is going, y nt u hav a serious talk wif ur gf?
hear her reasons and her view of tis relationship and decide then? -
cool down and talk to her. What is the outcome of the r/s is contingent on that conversation
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thanks for all the replies...think i have to talk to her tat is the only way out...
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Oh dear
I'm sorry to hear what you hafta go through, can only imagine the sense of betrayal & pain. Nonetheless, my advice is for you to ask your gf calmly about what's going on. If she's truly sorry & repentant, then the ball would be in your court. Take some time to clear your head. If you believe that she's Not gonna do it anymore, you'll hafta decide whether the relationship means enough for you to overlook 1 mistake.
Ultimately, humans all make mistakes. All of us have hurt our partners 1 way or another. True, she's chosen to hurt & humiliate you in the worst way possible, but it could be a mistake that she regrets & won't repeat again.
It all depends on how well you know her.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by selling84:thanks for all the replies...think i have to talk to her tat is the only way out... -
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4 yrs for you, if u really love her talk to her and good luck with that.
but if she was doing it within, really u need all the luck u can get.
It smarts if I were you..
Damn.. -
of course u have to confront her and talk to her abt it...u know wat man
hates? being made a cuckold..i mean if she stops oreadi den ok lar...but if still
continuing with tat man den there's something wrong with both of u..either
with your relationship or with the sexual life u 2 been having..i guess -
Whoah.. really sorry to hear about that.. u have been v loyal to her and this is what u got.. But is it confirmed that she really had sex with an attached guy? Maybe u should check with her directly man.. becoz.. with online n computer.. things can mess indirectly.. maybe her friend use her computer.. or use her icq no to chat... etc?
If it is confirmed.. i think u should end ur relationship.. She's not worth all ur effort man..
- She's not completely honest to you..
- She loves other guy.. that means she's not in love with you.. NEVER...
If a gal really loves her boyfriend, she won't bother to love other guy.. and u said she likes him a year ago.. That time ur gf already loved him.. How about now.. a year later.. she maybe already had sex too often...
- And the guy she slept is an attached guy.. Is there any worse kind of gf than this???? Next time.. even though u can forgive her.. she will still have sex with others.. maybe next time... her bosses/colleagues for ambition of money/ job promotions
IF she starts to mention about why u check her computer.. u have to tell her not to change topic and put the wrong doing to u.. If she insists she's innocent.. aiyah.. that's worst.. u can expect any honesty from her towards u anymore... Don't torture yourself man.. There are still many who are worth ur efforts n love... and she has never loved u anyway... so what for u do too much??? But remember to check and make sure first.. whether what u have read there is true.. u can ask her friends about a guy that u read.. if got mentioned..Originally posted by selling84:This morning as i was helping my gf to backup files in her cpu, i accidentally read an icq's history file. Thru the content of this file, i discovered tat my gf had sex wif another guy a year ago. She even mentioned tat she really love tat guy. But, he is attached and she has no intention of breaking them up. I dunnoe wat happened in the end. I dunnoe if they are still seeing each other...
I wanted to confront my gf on the spot but i held back. I'm confused. I do not know wat i wish to do right now... 4 yrs of relationship... shld i pretend nothing has happened or shld i talk to her about this???
(srry for my poor english) -
I have never heard anyone telling me this beforeÂ…Originally posted by selling84:This morning as i was helping my gf to backup files in her cpu, i accidentally read an icq's history file. Thru the content of this file, i discovered tat my gf had sex wif another guy a year ago. She even mentioned tat she really love tat guy. But, he is attached and she has no intention of breaking them up. I dunnoe wat happened in the end. I dunnoe if they are still seeing each other...
I wanted to confront my gf on the spot but i held back. I'm confused. I do not know wat i wish to do right now... 4 yrs of relationship... shld i pretend nothing has happened or shld i talk to her about this???
(srry for my poor english)
“Let me tell you about my lovely wife! When I first dated her, she was a real slvt who bounced from bed to bed even when we were dating.
But I’m glad I stuck around…she turned out to be the most caring, trustworthy and loyal woman I’ve ever met!”
They donÂ’t get better. If they can cheat in the dating stage, it will only get worse once you marry them.
In fact, the only issue you need to think about right now is whether she is capable of being trustworthy and loyal.
And talking to her will not help you assess that issue.
Talking to her fvcks your mind up. All the dramatic speeches, pleading and crying are unnecessary because you will start having second thoughts that will screw you up:
“Wait…maybe I didn’t care for her enough. Look at how she is crying, maybe she deserves another chance? Maybe I can convert her into something else?”
Remember, the only question is whether she can be loyal and trustworthy again.
And the blatant truth is already staring at you right in your face.
This is not a case whereby communicating and compromising can work. Communication only helps in solving a dispute when the relationship can be salvaged by re-defining rules and territory.
Your good deeds, kindness and efforts will not change her. The moment she knows you are willing to stay, she will be extremely touched.
But the next morning when she wakes up, she looks at you and thinks,
“I’m dating a loser who has no self-respect.”
“A coward who is afraid of dealing with conflicts in his life and is too afraid to step out of his comfort zone to face reality.”
“And most importantly, I now know that I can get away with murder by just crying and acting all sorry about my actions.”
Do the right thing. -
Gosh.
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damn... i dont like my privacy to be intruded...
i think you should just let it go and carry on living. why dwell on the past?
everyone had a past. what matter most is now.