CRASHED
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hi pple, i had a huge prob here.recently, a guy fren of mine juz broke up with the gf.he was realli depressed abt it and so he juz poured out every woes to me.
Although i didnt realli help much,i juz sat there and listen to him tok.As time goes by,we became closer.So,everytime when he had a prob,he'll confide in me.
Then one dae,he asked me to be his gf,but i rejected him coz i feel dat we r realli not compatible.I tried to tell him in a nice way but he juz wont listen.Thus, i tried a harher way,i told him dat we'll never get together bcoz i dun want to and oso even if we get together,we'll never have a happy ending.After dat,he didnt tok to me the whole nite.At first i was realli feeling quite bad abt it coz i thought dat i had realli hurt him by being so harsh.
So, i tried calling him in the nite,but he juz wont pick up my call.In the end i told myself dat,meybe its beta for the both of us lor.Who noes juz nw when i on my hp,i saw his sms.He said dat,he simply cun understand y i juz wont give him a chance n y i think dat we r not conpatible!and he said no matter wat,he'll be there for me!
*sigh!*
i realli duno how to let him understand...he's a nice guy,but dat doesnt mean i had to be with him.Some of my frens tell me juz to play along with him since he's rich.They said dat i have to hurt him real hard then he'll die heart(translate to chinese!)
But i realli cun do dat lor..i dun wana lose a fren and i dun approve of playing with someone else heart..furthermore,he's a nice guy...
So...wat should i do??
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As LoNg As I SHaLL LiVe
I'LL HoLd U dEaR
AnD I wILL rEMiNiScE
Of OuR LoVe ALL ThRoUgH
ThE YeArS.... -
I see TWO choices which I PERSONALLY deem FIT for you...?
1. Give him a CHANCE... To PROVE you RIGHT or WRONG... Let him SEE, FEEL and UNDERSTAND for himself... YOU too... Give yourself a CHANCE to SEE, FEEL and UNDERSTAND... Doesn't mean that by giving him a CHANCE to prove himself means that you'll have to accept him...?
2. Let him UNDERSTAND that you find HIM a REAL NICE GUY... AND you REALLY want him as a FRIEND.... Tell him that if he REALLY MIND your FRIENDSHIP.... DO NOT THREATEN it...
LAST of all, tell him THIS... "Life would have to go on... With or WITHOUT his friendship...."
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In LIGHT I shall FEAR NOT. FOR what I AM is CUT so DEEP inside of ME.
I LIVE my FLESH and SOUL ONLY to BLEED for the OTHERS.
FEAR ME NOT. FOR I AM YOUR 'MASTER'. GIVE YOU STRENGTH. FOR YOU ARE MY 'ENEMY'.
DEVIL PHRASE I
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
If you don't like the guy, just let it be the way it is now...... i mean, he should be mature enuff to handle the situation, rather than like dun ans yr call or whatever.....
Never toy with a guy's feeling lar, u dunnoe if he will ever get insane one day and do something out of the extra ordinary, heh........ or simply go out with him just becos he's rich....... have to be fair to both u and him.
I believe u did the rite thing....... and be with him, if u have feeling, or when he finally TOUCH yr heart........
To still remain friends or not now is an issue that lies with him, not you. If he choose not to, maybe its not a bad things after all....... just let whatever will come comes it's way. I mean, i understand that it might be easier for him to forget you if u 2 r no longer friends. But this normally applies when the guy had 'give' a lot liao in this 'relationship', did he?
But from yr story, sounds like the guy just broke off with his gf not long....... and he now wanna be with you...... seems to me (personal thinking onli) he's not really that ready to handle things yet. So, dun feel bad, whatever the outcome is....... or like i mention eariler, wait till he touches yr heart lor.......
All the best!
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nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe" -
Dunno wat to say. Juz can say gd luck in wat deva u do.
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Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration" -
tell him dat u can still b friends wit him..den as time goes by i'm sure he'll 4get bout u soon.... nuthin much to worri about one...
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_-,-,=<
BeWaRe! AwAs! x|aO x|n!
| b|t3!! -
ApPlE_PiE:
Well, your friend does sound a little immature. He should know that in BGR, nothing can be forced upon. If he was rejected, why was he sulking??
Anyway, if u really feel nothing for him, u have to drive the idea across to him by drawing the line at your behaviour. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:
okie...he called me yesterdae saying dat he got something to tell me.so i let him has the chance to do so.juz as i had expected,he still dun understand why i dun give him a chance.
I see TWO choices which I PERSONALLY deem FIT for you...?
1. Give him a CHANCE... To PROVE you RIGHT or WRONG... Let him SEE, FEEL and UNDERSTAND for himself... YOU too... Give yourself a CHANCE to SEE, FEEL and UNDERSTAND... Doesn't mean that by giving him a CHANCE to prove himself means that you'll have to accept him...?
2. Let him UNDERSTAND that you find HIM a REAL NICE GUY... AND you REALLY want him as a FRIEND.... Tell him that if he REALLY MIND your FRIENDSHIP.... DO NOT THREATEN it...
LAST of all, tell him THIS... [b]"Life would have to go on... With or WITHOUT his friendship...."
[/B]
I was realli pissed lor...i said all i could but nothing gets into his head.Then juz b4 he put down the phone,he said,if there's ever be a chance dat i'll start to have feelings for him,let him noe... i nearly freaked out!!i had never seen such a guy!He realli got lotsa preserverence but applied in a wrong way!
I'll never fall for him lor,n i'll never try out with him..coz i've got no feelings for him at all...to me,he's juz a friend...i'm not mean am i?
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As LoNg As I SHaLL LiVe
I'LL HoLd U dEaR
AnD I wILL rEMiNiScE
Of OuR LoVe ALL ThRoUgH
ThE YeArS.... -
1. Give him a CHANCE... To PROVE you RIGHT or WRONG... Let him SEE, FEEL and UNDERSTAND for himself... YOU too... Give yourself a CHANCE to SEE, FEEL and UNDERSTAND... Doesn't mean that by giving him a CHANCE to prove himself means that you'll have to accept him...?
Does "chance" worth that much? ... ApplePie must answer that first. You give him chance, then he fall in love with you more deeply, but you still don't feel anything .. how?
You should know "whether you have to give him chance or not"... after a long time you know him, and you find that he is a good man. But, are you personally interested in him? if not, then don't give him *chance*. Until this time you don't have that *feeling*, there is no guarantee you will have *that feeling* even though you give him 1000 chances. It is just not worth at all.
If you also interested in him, but *there is something that make you doubt* ... you need to give him and yourself a *chance*, if not ... then *no chance* ...
2. Let him UNDERSTAND that you find HIM a REAL NICE GUY... AND you REALLY want him as a FRIEND.... Tell him that if he REALLY MIND your FRIENDSHIP.... DO NOT THREATEN it...
LAST of all, tell him THIS... [b]"Life would have to go on... With or WITHOUT his friendship...."
Yes... Tell him that you only want to "continue" your relation as BestFriend/Friend. If he cannot accept, something wrong with him. If he can accept, go with this relationship, and you need start to observe : "is it possible you have special feeling on him?" ... if you found that you got the feeling, tell him... if not ... you also won't loose the friendship. -
To be honest with u, I was also once in the same predicament as the guy u mentioned and kept probing why the gal juz cn't giv me a chance. I understd completely hw he felt and trust me, he will continue to probe and pester till u find him very irritatg. the only thing to let him die heart is not to tell him u dun like him, but to avoid him for the time being. If he is as sensible as me, he will eventually figured it out himself, but if u keep rejectg him, he will b even more persistent.Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:okie...he called me yesterdae saying dat he got something to tell me.so i let him has the chance to do so.juz as i had expected,he still dun understand why i dun give him a chance.
I was realli pissed lor...i said all i could but nothing gets into his head.Then juz b4 he put down the phone,he said,if there's ever be a chance dat i'll start to have feelings for him,let him noe... i nearly freaked out!!i had never seen such a guy!He realli got lotsa preserverence but applied in a wrong way!
I'll never fall for him lor,n i'll never try out with him..coz i've got no feelings for him at all...to me,he's juz a friend...i'm not mean am i?
Although I was once in this situation, I had matured frm that state cos I knw I will make my frd very frustrated and may even lose her as a frd, so dun look at me as if I was him, kekeke..
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
walao, at least u got someone after you man! in my little group in school(we are split to do our work) i know this girl and guy who like each other, they became a couple but then broke up soon after. the girl after that got hint to me, probably cos she was upset over the breakup rather than she really interested in me, but i act blur. and all along, there's this nut who had been trying to be a lightbulb in the previously mentioned couple's life, but always denied he was interested. the girl even told me she found him desperate and would never like him. i also got try to bring the original couple together, but dint manage to. guess what. many months later, the girl and the guy she said she would never like are a couple! the guy is neither rich or good looking some more. so, maybe you should give this guy a chance! you may decide to like him one day.
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i tot u buang or wat wah lan...
simple loh.
ignore him.
will come a day when he becomes sian.
then you can treat us all to ponderosa's.
OK?
sui lah!
waiting for your treat.
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vroom...tingtingtingtingti...vroom~ -
hi ATTI,
u maynot know me, but i do remember you, u r really a pioneer in race track, so y not come back to race track, we need experienced opinions like yrs
cheers -
Apple ah Apple...
Once you make up your mind, don't any how give in hor... Wait one day you soft a bit only, sure Bwang! until "hen nan Kan".
No, you're not mean. And I'm happy you know what you are doing. Very mature. As for the other guy, I've got nothing to say about him.
Stay cute! -
Hello Ah Tee,Originally posted by ah_tee:hi ATTI,
u maynot know me, but i do remember you, u r really a pioneer in race track, so y not come back to race track, we need experienced opinions like yrs
cheers
Nice of you to have taken notice of me. Well, actually i am more of a driver than a rider. I do know a bit abt cars but when it comes to bike, i really dunnoe much . & seems like race track are full of experience riders nowsaday so do acutally felt a little out of place.
But still, i did dropped by race track to read some of the posts, just that never reply cos like i say, most of the topics are on bikes. Of cos, if there's any infor pple need help, and i can give certain advise to help in anyway, i will still do it.
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nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe" -
TOUCH WOOD!!!buang once is enuf liao...Originally posted by kof-guy:i tot u buang or wat wah lan...
simple loh.
ignore him.
will come a day when he becomes sian.
then you can treat us all to ponderosa's.
OK?
sui lah!
waiting for your treat.
I hope he becum sian too BUT HE'S JUZ NOT SIANZ!!!!
Guess wat?he bought me flowers todae...its so pai seh lor!Duno how to reject him..wat's worse is my frens kept making fun of it!
I tried all ways to ignore him!!sigh..but to no avail..so no choice..i asked one of my close male fren to pose as my bf todae then when my fren came i juz said bye to dat guy n walked off without taking the flowers...
then after dat my fren said i very hen xing! but i dun i am lor..coz i'd tried all ways to reject him but he juz dun get it!!Thus,by giving him think dat i already have a bf,i think its the best lor...juz hope dat he wont pop me dat question again...
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As LoNg As I SHaLL LiVe
I'LL HoLd U dEaR
AnD I wILL rEMiNiScE
Of OuR LoVe ALL ThRoUgH
ThE YeArS.... -
try like this lor... the flowers just take, then act as tho nothing loh.
just enjoy the feeling of being chased, dun have to reciprocate.
make it until like u take him for granted loh, as tho he dun treat you good he will die one.
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vroom...tingtingtingtingti...vroom~ -
as long as u have stated your stand clear,
dat it's not possible btween both of u,
wat he stil continues to do is up to him.
He is forewarned it's not possible
but he choose to waste his money and time.
Let him be....he'll give up sooner or later.
If 2 of u realli got along very well,
it's realli a pity not even to remain frenz.
He might not be able to adapt to treating u as a fren initially...so he may choose to avoid you.
Let time heal.After some time, u can try contacting him. If he too feels how well both of u got along before...he won't give up tis frenship dat easily.
Frankly speaking, I feel he's juz trying to fill up the empty space in his heart after the failed relationship and it happened dat when he was "empty", u r the one beside him.Someone who can let go so easily and find a new someone so soon...wouldn't be serious to u either.
Cheerios.... -
PERSONALLY, I don't think that you're CRUEL.... (Maybe because I'm a Devil..? Ahem..) But you don't have to give yourself a HARD TIME thinking that way... You'll be MORE CRUEL if you give him the WRONG IDEAs...
Also PERSONALLY, from the way you've described the guy... I'll PERSONALLY ADVISE that you AVOID him.... (Not to mention the FACT that you're NOT interested in him in the 1st place...?)
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In LIGHT I shall FEAR NOT. FOR what I AM is CUT so DEEP inside of ME.
I LIVE my FLESH and SOUL ONLY to BLEED for the OTHERS.
FEAR ME NOT. FOR I AM YOUR 'MASTER'. GIVE YOU STRENGTH. FOR YOU ARE MY 'ENEMY'.
DEVIL PHRASE I
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Hey pple,
thanx for all the advices realli appreciate them all...juz hope dat the guy will be back to normal again...
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As LoNg As I SHaLL LiVe
I'LL HoLd U dEaR
AnD I wILL rEMiNiScE
Of OuR LoVe ALL ThRoUgH
ThE YeArS.... -
He will eventually, time will heal all wounds, luv is selfish, u had to do it, no choice mah...Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:Hey pple,
thanx for all the advices realli appreciate them all...juz hope dat the guy will be back to normal again...
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off