What should i do? Please advise
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this is embarrassing to say because i have never actually made public in forums what i feel...
i hope some of you can advise me quite reasonably and sensibly to the following situation.
I met this guy through a girl friend of mine. I didn't feel anything towards him at first sight because quite honestly he is not goodlooking but pleasant enough.
After he met me and we went out together(with friends), he told my friend that he thought i was cute. My friend is really good friends with him so she told me what he thought about me.
The thing is that the term "cute" is used very loosely so....i don't know..
anyway, what happened next was he asked my friend for my ICQ #. We chat occasionally but i realized that recently he doesn't talk to me if i am online. Is he being shy? or has lost interest? am i just being too paranoid about what he thinks of me?
Of course when i start a conversation with him he always replies back but why doesn't he try to start a convo with me first?
Before this, whenever we went out(always with friends)he makes tons of eye contact with me. And he talks to me quite a bit but only when there are no one around. When we're with friends he seems to be quiet around me...
Once i mentioned i like a type of snack, the next time he came he brought the snack for me. Just being a nice guy or..?????
The worst part is that i've started to kind of like him because of the little gestures he seemingly projects towards me.
PLease advise as to what i should do next. Should i make a move...can u advise me on specific things that i should do to show him i have a little interest in him and yet not seem desperate.
I'm just so confuse. Maybe he just thought i was cute and that was it....
what do u think? -
Drop him MORE *hints*. Let him have more OPPORTUNITIES to do (help) different things for you and tell him how much you APPRECIATES what he is doing for you.
Try to start striking conversions with him 1st when you're with your group of friends and see how he react? -
R u juz being sensitiv? I sometimes also don't take the iniativ to say hi on icq, cos I may b busy to do so lor. It may also b an act of courtesy to buy u a snack or what lor. The eye contact thing, well, some guys hav eyes which would shock girls, keke. But seems to me u had fallen for him, juz tell him indirectly the next time u chat with him lor, drop hints...Originally posted by vs_junjihyun:this is embarrassing to say because i have never actually made public in forums what i feel...
i hope some of you can advise me quite reasonably and sensibly to the following situation.
I met this guy through a girl friend of mine. I didn't feel anything towards him at first sight because quite honestly he is not goodlooking but pleasant enough.
After he met me and we went out together(with friends), he told my friend that he thought i was cute. My friend is really good friends with him so she told me what he thought about me.
The thing is that the term "cute" is used very loosely so....i don't know..
anyway, what happened next was he asked my friend for my ICQ #. We chat occasionally but i realized that recently he doesn't talk to me if i am online. Is he being shy? or has lost interest? am i just being too paranoid about what he thinks of me?
Of course when i start a conversation with him he always replies back but why doesn't he try to start a convo with me first?
Before this, whenever we went out(always with friends)he makes tons of eye contact with me. And he talks to me quite a bit but only when there are no one around. When we're with friends he seems to be quiet around me...
Once i mentioned i like a type of snack, the next time he came he brought the snack for me. Just being a nice guy or..?????
The worst part is that i've started to kind of like him because of the little gestures he seemingly projects towards me.
PLease advise as to what i should do next. Should i make a move...can u advise me on specific things that i should do to show him i have a little interest in him and yet not seem desperate.
I'm just so confuse. Maybe he just thought i was cute and that was it....
what do u think?
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
i understand perfectly how tat guy feels
i'm sure he likes u and didnt dare to express it out openly...
regarding the ICQ thing...
i tink hes shy...i'm sure hes looking at the ICQ 'flower' to turn into a 'message' from u
if he doesnt message u first...
YOU should message him...let him know tat u r COMFORTABLE in chatting with him...
i'm sure tis guy u r referring to is a really shy guy...and shy guys r good guy (tats wat i tink) cos they dont tend to flirt around loosely
for now...jus try to talk to him often..
talking over the phone will be more better ,
get to know him better and if u really wanted more than jus being friend with him...
it might work out
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Love rotates the world, not hatred. -
I think he is really shy lor. Most guys will not do special things for gals unless they have a motive...that is they wanna woo you. Maybe he's to shy to do it too openly...and maybe his friends are teasing him about you so that is why he dun dare to talk to much to you in front of his friends. Maybe he knows that you knew that he liked you but you no give him a positive hint or clue so he thought you silently rejected him and is trying not to get too involved. Could be lots of reasons for his actions.
I agree that talking on the phone is a good way to develop a relationship. I mean, over the phone, both of you can feel more comfortable about talking regarding more things cos won't feel so awkward. Me and my bf also started from talking the phone. When talking over the phone, can try to show some interest in the things he say...let him know you are keen in knowing more about him. Let him know more about you. A good chance for you to know the person better.
Since you are aware of your feelings, then you should now try to drop more hints to him...let him know your feelings...or maybe let a common friend know you also fond of him...but if you are shy about it...you'll have to drop hints yourself. Talk more to him...communication is an important. No need to be too shy about that...now gals need to be more bold a bit and grab hold of the opportunity and grab hold of this guy if you really think you like him...if you dun try to 'get' him...and he kana snatched by some other gal, then you regret already too late! -
Originally posted by Twiggie:I think he is really shy lor. Most guys will not do special things for gals unless they have a motive...that is they wanna woo you. Maybe he's to shy to do it too openly...and maybe his friends are teasing him about you so that is why he dun dare to talk to much to you in front of his friends. Maybe he knows that you knew that he liked you but you no give him a positive hint or clue so he thought you silently rejected him and is trying not to get too involved. Could be lots of reasons for his actions.
I agree that talking on the phone is a good way to develop a relationship. I mean, over the phone, both of you can feel more comfortable about talking regarding more things cos won't feel so awkward. Me and my bf also started from talking the phone. When talking over the phone, can try to show some interest in the things he say...let him know you are keen in knowing more about him. Let him know more about you. A good chance for you to know the person better.
Since you are aware of your feelings, then you should now try to drop more hints to him...let him know your feelings...or maybe let a common friend know you also fond of him...but if you are shy about it...you'll have to drop hints yourself. Talk more to him...communication is very important. No need to be too shy about that...now gals need to be more bold a bit and grab hold of the opportunity and grab hold of this guy if you really think you like him...if you dun try to 'get' him...and he kana snatched by some other gal, then you regret already too late! -
I appreciate all you who wrote to me esp Prodigy and Twiggie. I took into consideration too that maybe i am a little over sensitive but i cant shake the fact that i have fallen a little for this guy.
Thing is that i am scared to make the first move....i don't want to feel rejected. I was only in one serious relationship before so i am quite hopeless in the boy-girl department. Even when guys openly expressed that they like me and would like to go out with me i just rejected them. Why i don't know...
but i am scared that would happen to me...
This guy i like is different. I used to be so attracted to 'bad' boys.....those who smoke, cold attitude, don't live with their parents, don't go to school. But now that i am older i realized that 'bad' boys can't give you happiness. How wonderful they may be the truth remains that they can't provide me with what i need in the future.
This guy i like has a pretty good future and insists upon supporting himself even though his parents are able to send him money. He goes to a good university and i know that financially he is quite above average.
The girl who introduced us is very good friends with him and she was the one who tried to set us up. She kept telling me that this is one good guy. But at that time i was so stupid as to say i didn't feel anything to him. But she said just make friends first and then we'll see...
'just make friends'...oh god i don't even know how to go about this since my last guy we started out as gf/bf. It's hard for me to 'just make friends' when i know i like someone. I usually talk to him when we are out with friends. His reaction is that he will continue to talk to me but once other friends interrupt then of course we stop. The first few times we were out or on ICQ i was able to talk comfortably to him but now that i kind of like him i avoid the ICQ(always on N/A mode)
He sent me a cell phone message once saying hi but that was only because before that he was asking me if my phone can receive messages so i guess he was checking. And then the time he gave me the snack(he actually told my friend to give it to me)i sent a message through to his phone saying thank you. And basically his reply was something along hi and you're welcome.
the snack part he's bought for me twice since he said he knows i like that stuff.
anyway, thank you a lot for your replies. Anyone else who wants to chip in is most welcome. Good or bad - just tell me what you think. I don't want to make a mistake here.