Why?
-
This is my first post in this forum. I think that, by writing, I might be able to vent out my frustrations that have been bothering me for quite a long while.
I used to have a really intimate friend, but suddenly for some unknown reasons, he started to avoid me half a year ago. In case if you are wondering, no, I am not a gay; I do have a gf. It is just that I am very close to this friend because of the time we have both shared.
We had attended the same classes, lived in the same hostel, and did everything together. For example, he even did English essays for me because his English is much better than mine is. Ironically, when he did the essays for me, my English grades are always a tad better than his are. For that I am grateful. I had a great time then, because I thought I have find my “best friend”.
However, things started to change when we came to Australia. We got into different university in Australia, and because we live quite far away from each other, our contact was minimal. That was fine with me; I am satisfied to receive an occasional phone call from him. At times, if we were both free, we would meet up for lunch during the weekends.
What I do not understand is why he wanted to avoid me 6 months ago. He suddenly did not answer any of my phone calls, and I have also tried to contact him through friends, icq, emails, but to no avail. I cannot think of anything I have done that might have offended him, and I gave up trying to reach him.
I think life has to go on, I managed to retain my composure and not look sad, and be expressionless or just smile, even though my inner self is crying out. One thing, I do not want people to worry (that is if there are), and secondly, I would rather be professional than to show all my emotions to other people.
Regretting what was lost has become a regular thing since then, and whenever I am on the bus, pensively looking out of the window, I tend to think of my past school life and what has went seriously wrong.
I would be thankful if anyone has any suggestions to help me cope with this situation.
[This message has been edited by taimedi (edited 23 January 2002).]
[This message has been edited by taimedi (edited 23 January 2002).]
[This message has been edited by taimedi (edited 23 January 2002).] -
hey same thing here army fren frens come n go so u noe natural progression (ah! my first serious post!! this is the 1st n last enjoy)
-
Hmmm. Distance a bit too far? And busy?
Can't possibly meet up all the time wat.
------------------
Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration"
************************************
The Eagle
He clasps the crag with hooked hands:
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
************************************ -
Freinds cum and go easily...some may stay, while others may leave. It's true dat u had spent great times together with him. But all those are already the past.
Humans tend to grow up. As we grow, we'll keep some things and throw away some as well. Maybe he juz suddenly want to noe more pple.
Anyway, since he wants it dat way, there's nothing much u can do rite? Juz treat it as a hurdle dat stops ur life progress. No matter how big or how small dis hurdle is, u have to think of a way to cross it!! If not, u'll never move on.
Stop thinking of wat had went wrong, or wat u had done wrong dat made him turned out to be dis way. Move on boy...U'll eventually find a real true fren, it's juz a matter of time...
------------------
As LoNg As I SHaLL LiVe
I'LL HoLd U dEaR
AnD I wILL rEMiNiScE
Of OuR LoVe ALL ThRoUgH
ThE YeArS.... -
totally agree... frds come and go... so why bother??? LOLOriginally posted by ApPlE_PiE:Freinds cum and go easily...some may stay, while others may leave. It's true dat u had spent great times together with him. But all those are already the past.
Humans tend to grow up. As we grow, we'll keep some things and throw away some as well. Maybe he juz suddenly want to noe more pple.
Anyway, since he wants it dat way, there's nothing much u can do rite? Juz treat it as a hurdle dat stops ur life progress. No matter how big or how small dis hurdle is, u have to think of a way to cross it!! If not, u'll never move on.
Stop thinking of wat had went wrong, or wat u had done wrong dat made him turned out to be dis way. Move on boy...U'll eventually find a real true fren, it's juz a matter of time... -
My 1st INSTINCT makes me believe that it's a MISUNDERSTANDING... But like the others have mentioned, the reasons can be many more?
My 3 GENERAL PROPOSAL would be:
1. It's a MISUNDERSTANDING.
2. Something had hit him to make him CHANGE his view with life.
3. He have just CHANGED.
Of course, there can be other reasons... So have you heard from him there after? What if some mishap seriously befall your friend? Have you gave it a thought..?
I think whatever you think for now, IF you still find him a FRIEND INDEED (as a BEST friend?) you should make your way ALL OUT to find out HOW he is now out of CONCERN.... Perhaps let him explain the situation to you (if he wants to OR bother to?)....
If not just REACH OUT for him... I think that if you find him TRULY a FRIEND of that WORTH, this should not be a MAJOR task for you? And rest assured that this would not be a wasted one... Even just to see him safe and sound.... -
Oi!! u beri eng ar... i sleeping u sms mi... hng! see lah! cannot wake up earlie... hahahahOriginally posted by Devil1976:My 1st INSTINCT makes me believe that it's a MISUNDERSTANDING... But like the others have mentioned, the reasons can be many more?
My 3 GENERAL PROPOSAL would be:
1. It's a MISUNDERSTANDING.
2. Something had hit him to make him CHANGE his view with life.
3. He have just CHANGED.
Of course, there can be other reasons... So have you heard from him there after? What if some mishap seriously befall your friend? Have you gave it a thought..?
I think whatever you think for now, IF you still find him a FRIEND INDEED (as a BEST friend?) you should make your way ALL OUT to find out HOW he is now out of CONCERN.... Perhaps let him explain the situation to you (if he wants to OR bother to?)....
If not just REACH OUT for him... I think that if you find him TRULY a FRIEND of that WORTH, this should not be a MAJOR task for you? And rest assured that this would not be a wasted one... Even just to see him safe and sound....
-
Hehheh... Sorry lah... I CANNOT sleep lah...Originally posted by RuthBaby:Oi!! u beri eng ar... i sleeping u sms mi... hng! see lah! cannot wake up earlie... hahahah Try you lor.... Next time you sleep put HP to SILENT MODE.... Unless you can sleep like a PIG like myself...? -
u people r all a bunch of idiots
-
blackhair: Thanks. I do enjoy and welcome any of your posts.
eagle: You might be right. But then, I do not think an occasional phone call maybe once a week will be that much time-consuming. I expect and accept the fact that we will both be busy and have different social circles, but it does not explain why he is avoiding me if we are truly friends.
ApPlE_PiE: Don’t worry about offending me; I am not easily offended. I prefer people speaking out their minds than beating around the bush. Well, if friends come and go easily, then it does seem useless to meet more people and end up feeling hurt? To quote RuthBaby, “Why bother?”, it seems that it will only make you feeling emotionally drained and tired in the end. I find it hard to accept that statement.
You offer some really good advices, and I will try to cross the hurdle and get over it for my own good.
Devil1976: I know that he is fine and doing well, from the little news I got from my friends now and then, when they saw him on the streets. I have given up trying to reach him, not because I have not done my best, but I believe for a relationship to work, both sides have to take the initiative. If this is fine with him, then so be it, I have no qualms about that, although I do feel sad about the whole thing.
----
Thanks for all the replies. I guess the reason why I have taken this up badly is because I have never told anyone about it, not even to my close friends and gf. I already feel better just by writing this out. I think this is a really great way to release some of the pent-up feelings I have. -
dude these guys r morons u actually come to forums for advice???? puh lease