Nobody knows
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Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
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Hey.. I totally understand what you're feeling. Hell, I'm a person whom everyone always looks up to, and there's always pressure in performing, both in school and at work. It never seems to stop. Really, the solution to your problem lies with yourself. How do you wanna choose to react to such circumstances? Do you wanna dwell on it or let it go?? Do you wanna moan over such problems or lead a great life?
For me, it's very simple... No matter what I've done for others, I don't expect anything in return.. It's simply what I had wished to do, and now that I've fulfilled that wish, I move on.. If that other person doesn't appreciate it, so be it.. I've got other better things to do in life..
Sometimes, it seems unfair.. Yes, I know.. But it's something that you did because you wanted to help others, not because you wished for something in return. If you feel that it's out of your abilities, then kindly state so.
In the end, what the heck? You've played ur role and that's ur good deed for the day. It is NOT unfair to you. Neither are you shortchanged because in doing what u did, u gained something priceless and that is experience. This will no doubt help u become a better person in life..
No matter whatever happens, life goes on... ... 1 life, live it to the fullest.
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u have a choice. so what's so unfair?Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
u mean u cheer them up bcos u want them to return ur kindness the same way? then it's fair? -
tink u nv let them know u feeling down how they console uOriginally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
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erh... wat's there to be unfair abt?
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You are a nice person. That is why everyone perceives you as a happy and cheerful person, and a person whom everyone can go to when they are down. Well, perhaps you are sensitive enough to detect when your friends are feeling down, but others are just not as sensitive. But it could also be you are always clearest about how you yourself feel - nobody else can be clearer. And feeling down seems to be more frequently occuring to you than to your friends, so it does seem that when you feel down, hardly anybody notices and cares.Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
By the way, when you bring that smile to your friend's face when he or she feels down, did he or she feel you did enough to cheer him/her up? So likewise, when your friends did try to cheer you up, you may feel it's not enough or their actions were not even noted as 'cheering you up'. So it is about management of expectations. You must understand that you know yourself more than anybody else does - not even your best friend. I know how some people claim that their friends and families know them more than they do, but it's just a matter of what is more obvious to who. (For example, your friends and families are actually your 'mirrors', seeing things that you wouldn't be able to detect immediately for yourself.) At least in terms of your own inner feelings, nobody knows better than yourself. So it is not fair to expect others to be able to read what's on your mind, and what you need in order to really make you feel better.
Well, I choose to take the possibility that you are a more sensitive person while your friends wouldn't be able to tell that you need to be cheered up, or what effective methods to use in order to cheer you up. As such, the first breakthrough is to tell your friends when you feel down - explicitly. And during opportune moments, do let them know too, how they can cheer you up when you feel down. You can bring this across in a more jovial manner when there's the chance.
Meanwhile, love and care for yourself. You cannot expect others to love and care for you when you cannot even do it yourself. For one, how are you going to tell your friends how they can help make you feel better if you cannot even identify the ways and methods that are effective to you? -
You already said even if they know you are down, they CAN'T do anything to cheer you up. So what's so unfair about it? Were you fair to them in the first place? You talk to them and console them when they are down but when you are down you shut them out. If you don't want people to know that you are down or don't want anyone to console you then dun even bother to show it on your face.Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
I know I sound cruel and harsh but that's how I am also. I'm perfectly just like you last time. I talk to people, let them lean on me for support and yet when I'm down, I can't hide my emotions and when they approach me and offer their ears I simply just keep everything to myself.
I still do that sometimes but not as bad as before. Put it this way, how would you feel if you know your friend is feeling down and when you try to help he/she just keep quiet or you tried all means and ways to cheer them up but can't? What goes around comes around. -
Learn to take care of yourself. As you make friends, don't leave yourself behind and off the list...Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair. -
since when things r fair?Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
wake up... -
It is not unfair.Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.
You have already gained something when you are giving!
Think about the person in your life who you respect the most.
Think about the person who you love the most.
They are the same people who have given you the most love!
Do you want more love? Then give more love!
Do you want more happiness? Then give the people around you more happiness!
And lastly, don't keep score in life. Life is not a game that involves winners and losers.
Happy Christmas to you : ) -
Maybe you're just sensitive... Try telling them, I'm presuming you've only told a person or two? You might get surprised. Some people are suprisingly emphatic, no matter how mischevious/ bad/ I don't know what else....Originally posted by Stuck_in:Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful person, but I'm not. Everytime when my friends were feeling down, I cheered them up, but when I am, nobody knows, even if they know, they can't do anything to cheer me up. It's just so unfair.