Advise needed...
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Last time when I was little, I was very shy. Didn't talk much to other people.
Got slightly better in pri sch though.
People tend to misunderstand me.
If I misunderstand people, I get blamed.
If people misunderstand me, I get blamed even more.
Somehow can't "connect" with some people. Some can, some cannot.
Some people, I feel this strange 'barrier'. In others, no.
Can't really hold a conversation for a long time. Always have to create subjects or my conversations would die out.
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just be yourself. u no need to change for other people. i have a friend who is very shy. but my clique will always start a conversation with him. my shy friend will open up slowly. and start talking like us. its not your faultOriginally posted by redstone:Last time when I was little, I was very shy. Didn't talk much to other people.
Got slightly better in pri sch though.
People tend to misunderstand me.
If I misunderstand people, I get blamed.
If people misunderstand me, I get blamed even more.
Somehow can't "connect" with some people. Some can, some cannot.
Some people, I feel this strange 'barrier'. In others, no.
Can't really hold a conversation for a long time. Always have to create subjects or my conversations would die out. 
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Ya,its reali diifficult to create topics...my frens all tell me to tok abt anything under the sun but wad to talk??Originally posted by redstone:Last time when I was little, I was very shy. Didn't talk much to other people.
Got slightly better in pri sch though.
People tend to misunderstand me.
If I misunderstand people, I get blamed.
If people misunderstand me, I get blamed even more.
Somehow can't "connect" with some people. Some can, some cannot.
Some people, I feel this strange 'barrier'. In others, no.
Can't really hold a conversation for a long time. Always have to create subjects or my conversations would die out. -
Talk about the stuff you really like. Examples Football, girls, movies, and don't try too hard to impress your friends.
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ur fren gurl thn u tok abt gurl meh>?
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u mean u r introvert isit? Do you go out? or u rather stay at home, no frens to ask u out?
Hmn....as far as i know, its good to read some self-help book first b4 u attempt to do anything further abt yr situations. Reading those books, gives u awareness wats going on, how to improve yr situation step by step...
I cant give u any title, but u can go borders and check it out. They have quite a wide range of self-help there.
Well, glance thru 1-2 chapters b4 u buy on one. Then read it. Well, takes time to open up abit. So, since u have suffered for so long, no harm reading this books for a while for help -
OPEN UP your MIND and SHARE your WORLD with others..Originally posted by redstone:Last time when I was little, I was very shy. Didn't talk much to other people.
Got slightly better in pri sch though.
People tend to misunderstand me.
If I misunderstand people, I get blamed.
If people misunderstand me, I get blamed even more.
Somehow can't "connect" with some people. Some can, some cannot.
Some people, I feel this strange 'barrier'. In others, no.
Can't really hold a conversation for a long time. Always have to create subjects or my conversations would die out.
Do you WRITE
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cannot connect with ppl is also an issue that i have being facing up to date but of course its better compared to the last time back then..
try to talk more...if in the same class, chat or gossips bout classmates, teachers, homework, teacher's ugly doings and ugly actions...that's how to start...
slowly proceed to previously what sch...like what...-hobbies...where u play ur hobbies...if its sports...then when know roughly where they live, then talk bout transportation to school, to anywhere in singapore...if it duration long short or something...
then duration of traveling..how to kill time in public transportation...the methods used...concession pass or?? then link to frequency of traveling...then to if they like to travel to a certain place...then suggest next time go together...there...you have it...chance to go out with them to know them better... long process...depends on how u carry the chat... -
haha i a bit bo liao now 6am and i still haven't slept...
but i find your thread very interesting because i also have the same problem as you... haha i always cannot find anything to talk about with friends, especially if it's one to one conversations...
But i changed a lot in secondary school, cuz i met a caucasian friend. first she taught me how to behave so that i would not irritate or offend people. secondly she taught me when to keep my thoughts to myself. finally, she taught me how to carry myself so that i look as though i m a cut above the rest.
it all boils down to one thing. if you want to hold conversations easily, and intellectual ones at that, you have to have knowledge. read, watch tv, go online. the easiest.. tat's y people with the same interest group click a lot easier. hang out with friends who like the same thing as you (like talking about music or share advice on girls/guys). cuz i hang out with people who have very political views, i always remember what they say and after a bit of research, i actually understand and can reply them about such things, so we can continue conversations instead of coming up with new topics all the time.
as for the confidence thing... aiya... knowledge can be learnt or forgotten, but your character is unique. Don have to bend yourself all over and become someone you yourself wouldn't like. (Eg: Snobbish or speaking without thinking). don't worry becuz people nowadays have learnt how to include introverts (like the above post mentions). as long as you find YOUR crowd, you'll have the most fun and forget all these worries. Don't worry ok!
oh ya about the misunderstanding thing right... i used to be regarded as snobbish by a lot of my classmates la. then i realised that all you have to do is to constantly believe in the good of people. Don't jump to conclusions that they are talking bad about you or even if they are, remember that these kind of petty people are not worth your time to fight back and get yourself in trouble. As long as you don't do wrong, people will see over time that you are not that kind of person. Or you can ask a friend to help check you in the way you speak, which may give people wrong impression. Then maybe you need to change a bit in your manner so you won't give people wrong impression ba. learn as you go along is the most effective way to grow up... -
Bo liao....Originally posted by theoneguru:haha i a bit bo liao now 6am and i still haven't slept...
but i find your thread very interesting because i also have the same problem as you... haha i always cannot find anything to talk about with friends, especially if it's one to one conversations...
But i changed a lot in secondary school, cuz i met a caucasian friend. first she taught me how to behave so that i would not irritate or offend people. secondly she taught me when to keep my thoughts to myself. finally, she taught me how to carry myself so that i look as though i m a cut above the rest.
it all boils down to one thing. if you want to hold conversations easily, and intellectual ones at that, you have to have knowledge. read, watch tv, go online. the easiest.. tat's y people with the same interest group click a lot easier. hang out with friends who like the same thing as you (like talking about music or share advice on girls/guys). cuz i hang out with people who have very political views, i always remember what they say and after a bit of research, i actually understand and can reply them about such things, so we can continue conversations instead of coming up with new topics all the time.
as for the confidence thing... aiya... knowledge can be learnt or forgotten, but your character is unique. Don have to bend yourself all over and become someone you yourself wouldn't like. (Eg: Snobbish or speaking without thinking). don't worry becuz people nowadays have learnt how to include introverts (like the above post mentions). as long as you find YOUR crowd, you'll have the most fun and forget all these worries. Don't worry ok!
oh ya about the misunderstanding thing right... i used to be regarded as snobbish by a lot of my classmates la. then i realised that all you have to do is to constantly believe in the good of people. Don't jump to conclusions that they are talking bad about you or even if they are, remember that these kind of petty people are not worth your time to fight back and get yourself in trouble. As long as you don't do wrong, people will see over time that you are not that kind of person. Or you can ask a friend to help check you in the way you speak, which may give people wrong impression. Then maybe you need to change a bit in your manner so you won't give people wrong impression ba. learn as you go along is the most effective way to grow up...
Good morning
Cheers -
Well, its not about people, its all about you. Don't force yourself to do something u don't like. Try to know what kind of topic they usually chat, then slowly join in. IF you are not used to starting a topic, let the others do. Don't pressure yourselves when u don't feel connected. Friends are people we feel comfortable with and not to feel comfortable with. Just be yourself
