If she..

• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 07:52

  i managed to grab hold of her attention,thru sms,and managed to get her talking too..
  
  however...
  
  SMS..
  when is the right time to end the sms conversation?should i stop sms-ing her when her qn doesn't elicit(expect) a reply?some of her qns are purely redundant to have deserved replies.
  
  futhermore,she took one whole day to reply me.is it a sign that she is playing hard to get?or is she purely not interested?
  
  Cool Look?
  also,how do i achieve the 'super-affluent' look?pretty gurls are often surrounded by many guys..but there is only one cool one that can capture her heart..often the one that is different from the others who only know how to suck up to her.
  
  Advice needed..
  lastly,i need advice on how to carry on with this r/s.she belongs to the really shy type.rejected her offer the last time when she wanted to sing kbox wif me and her fren(working ma..)it also seems that she would go out only if her friend goes with her.
  
  any comments or advice is greatly appreciated.thx.
• beavan

  29 Dec 05, 08:42

  1) SMS is one of the simplest conversations to keep going..u can sort of add a question at the end of each message and it'll flow..but the time to stop it is when u have nth to ask and she isn't asking anything and the SMSes take very long to come in (means both sides are dragging to send)..
  
  2) just be urself..
  
  3) Go ask her out..why are u waiting for her to ask u out??
• mamamamama

  29 Dec 05, 08:51

  Since u mentioned that she's a really shy girl.. i guess that she's just too shy to reply your sms.. it's the contents of the message that really counts.. if u keep getting real short replies for example..yea, guess so, nope, etc.. she's probably not interested in u.. and also..
  
  Does she try to strike up conversational topics in her messages?
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 10:09

  Originally posted by beavan:

  1) SMS is one of the simplest conversations to keep going..u can sort of add a question at the end of each message and it'll flow..but the time to stop it is when u have nth to ask and she isn't asking anything and the SMSes take very long to come in (means both sides are dragging to send)..
  
  2) just be urself..
  
  3) Go ask her out..why are u waiting for her to ask u out??

  being myself is easy..but attracting her is hard..any ways to improve the situation pal?
  
  hmm..not that i dun wanna ask her out,juz that she seems to be quite busy tutoring others and also with her religious activities.there could be a possibility that she juz doesn't wanna come out with me too.any advice on how to turn the table around?
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 10:11

  Originally posted by mamamamama:

  Since u mentioned that she's a really shy girl.. i guess that she's just too shy to reply your sms.. it's the contents of the message that really counts.. if u keep getting real short replies for example..yea, guess so, nope, etc.. she's probably not interested in u.. and also..
  
  Does she try to strike up conversational topics in her messages?

  stimes she does reply short..but she does attempt to kick up a topic when i appear to be aloof to her,like replying short to her.
  
  why ask the qn?
• mamamamama

  29 Dec 05, 11:34

  Since she's making efforts trying to strike up topics in her SMSes.. she's most probably interested in you.. at the very least, she treats you as a friend..
  
  So take your time and try not to rush into things.. Get to know each other better before letting her know how you feel..
  
  I hope i'm not replying off topic and Good Luck!
• Devil1976

  29 Dec 05, 11:48

  Originally posted by yuko-ogura:

  i managed to grab hold of her attention,thru sms,and managed to get her talking too..
  
  however...
  
  SMS..
  when is the right time to end the sms conversation?should i stop sms-ing her when her qn doesn't elicit(expect) a reply?some of her qns are purely redundant to have deserved replies.
  
  futhermore,she took one whole day to reply me.is it a sign that she is playing hard to get?or is she purely not interested?
  
  Don't read too hard into this... There could be a THOUSAND WAYS to INTERPRET it... I can write you a BOOK if you're gonna be PAYING for that..??
  
  
  Cool Look?
  also,how do i achieve the 'super-affluent' look?pretty gurls are often surrounded by many guys..but there is only one cool one that can capture her heart..often the one that is different from the others who only know how to suck up to her.
  
  Looks might not last. Are you telling me to teach you how to be what you're not?
  
  
  Advice needed..
  lastly,i need advice on how to carry on with this r/s.she belongs to the really shy type.rejected her offer the last time when she wanted to sing kbox wif me and her fren(working ma..)it also seems that she would go out only if her friend goes with her.
  
  any comments or advice is greatly appreciated.thx.

  Then go out with her and her friends then...? At least it's a START You did mention that she's a SHY GIRL now... Didn't you...?
  
  Btw, the next time you reject her... Tell her that you're VERY KEEN but too bad you... Blah blah blah... (your reason)
• huiz

  29 Dec 05, 12:28

  Originally posted by yuko-ogura:
  i managed to grab hold of her attention,thru sms,and managed to get her talking too..
  
  however...
  
  [b]SMS..
  when is the right time to end the sms conversation?should i stop sms-ing her when her qn doesn't elicit(expect) a reply?some of her qns are purely redundant to have deserved replies.
  
  futhermore,she took one whole day to reply me.is it a sign that she is playing hard to get?or is she purely not interested?
  
  Cool Look?
  also,how do i achieve the 'super-affluent' look?pretty gurls are often surrounded by many guys..but there is only one cool one that can capture her heart..often the one that is different from the others who only know how to suck up to her.
  
  Advice needed..
  lastly,i need advice on how to carry on with this r/s.she belongs to the really shy type.rejected her offer the last time when she wanted to sing kbox wif me and her fren(working ma..)it also seems that she would go out only if her friend goes with her.
  
  any comments or advice is greatly appreciated.thx.[/b]

  for the smsing part, she could be the sort tat doesnt always check her hp or she is thinking how to best reply u.
  
  for the looking 'super-affluent' part, y muz u look like tat? since she asked u out b4, u have already captured her attention liao. use ur personality to shine thru...crap & joke more. gals like it one. but dun overdo it...it can be a turn-off.
  
  btw when u reject her ktv outing, did u say anything tat u can go on other days? or anything tat suggests u want to go out wif her again?
  
  if she wan her fren to come along then u still go loh..she wants her fren as a support. next time u still can ask her out alone or wait a few more outings til she is comfortable alone out wif u.
  
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 13:38

  Originally posted by mamamamama:

  Since she's making efforts trying to strike up topics in her SMSes.. she's most probably interested in you.. at the very least, she treats you as a friend..
  
  So take your time and try not to rush into things.. Get to know each other better before letting her know how you feel..
  
  I hope i'm not replying off topic and Good Luck!

  thx dude.
  
  okies..den i'll go slow and easy..but dun pin too much hopes on her.
• choco B

  29 Dec 05, 13:42

  Aim for the super confident look
  It's a thin line away from the super obnoxious-arrogant look
  

  Originally posted by yuko-ogura:
  [b]Cool Look?
  also,how do i achieve the 'super-affluent' look?pretty gurls are often surrounded by many guys..but there is only one cool one that can capture her heart..often the one that is different from the others who only know how to suck up to her. [/b]

• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 13:53

  Originally posted by Devil1976:

  Then go out with her and her friends then...? At least it's a START You did mention that she's a SHY GIRL now... Didn't you...?
  
  Btw, the next time you reject her... Tell her that you're VERY KEEN but too bad you... Blah blah blah... (your reason)

  hey!ur second idea's terrific.
  
  i din really reject 'her' actually..it's more like 'her' fren wanna go kbox and this fren happened to know me and 'her'..thus had the idea of asking us along to join in the fun.
  
  however,no one informed me abt it.at first,'she' sent a SMS to ask when i was free.i was at first bewildered by wad 'she' had said cux i din even noe there was such an outing.
  
  'she' also mentioned that if past some specific date,by which 'she' would be starting work,'she' wouldn't be free to go.
  
  i replied that i would get back to 'her' once i figure out wad was gg on.'she' seemed a bit surprised to find out that i din noe abt the outing.anyway,i've got work too.so din really went to get back to 'her' after knowing abt the outing.
  
  din hint to 'her' that i m KEEN on any possible future outings too.(oh no!)
  
  until now,we still haven't go for the outing yet.
  
  for this kind of situation,how do i go about improving it?
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 14:01

  Originally posted by huiz:

  for the smsing part, she could be the sort tat doesnt always check her hp or she is thinking how to best reply u.
  
  for the looking 'super-affluent' part, y muz u look like tat? since she asked u out b4, u have already captured her attention liao. use ur personality to shine thru...crap & joke more. gals like it one. but dun overdo it...it can be a turn-off.
  
  btw when u reject her ktv outing, did u say anything tat u can go on other days? or anything tat suggests u want to go out wif her again?
  
  if she wan her fren to come along then u still go loh..she wants her fren as a support. next time u still can ask her out alone or wait a few more outings til she is comfortable alone out wif u.
  

  i think ur right abt the sms-ing part.but then again,i dare not pin too much hope on her cux there could be a possibility that she's not at all interested in me!
  
  as for the joking part,im the exact opposite;i crapped too much..in fact..so much so that she did tell me that i was crappy.
  
  now i dun quite joke in front of her.i would try to inject humour in wadever situation im in.
  
  no more crap.and encouragement still included like in the past.
  
  for the outing part,look above.wad do u think i can do to help myself?
  
  any more comments to help me?
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 14:02

  Originally posted by choco B:

  Aim for the super confident look
  It's a thin line away from the super obnoxious-arrogant look
  

  okies..great idea u've got.dat's the kind of look most men want,isn't it?
  
  will work towards it!
• choco B

  29 Dec 05, 14:08

  Tsk tsk terrible ! You snubbed her invitation.
  
  If you like the girl, always sound enthusiastic about whatever she proposes. If you have to turn her down, always propose an alternative option.
  
  How about you call her and some mutual friends out for a K box/ dinner outing. Say since you missed the last time, your throat is itching for a song and you wanna have some fun to end the year.
  

  Originally posted by yuko-ogura:

  i replied that i would get back to 'her' once i figure out wad was gg on.'she' seemed a bit surprised to find out that i din noe abt the outing.anyway,i've got work too.so din really went to get back to 'her' after knowing abt the outing.
  
  din hint to 'her' that i m KEEN on any possible future outings too.(oh no!)
  
  until now,we still haven't go for the outing yet.

• huiz

  29 Dec 05, 15:35

  Originally posted by yuko-ogura:

  i think ur right abt the sms-ing part.but then again,i dare not pin too much hope on her cux there could be a possibility that she's not at all interested in me!
  
  as for the joking part,im the exact opposite;i crapped too much..in fact..so much so that she did tell me that i was crappy.
  
  now i dun quite joke in front of her.i would try to inject humour in wadever situation im in.
  
  no more crap.and encouragement still included like in the past.
  
  for the outing part,look above.wad do u think i can do to help myself?
  
  any more comments to help me?

  it doesnt mean when a gal says u crappy, she dun like it. it could be she like it or she doesnt like ur sense or crappiness. i nv see u b4, dunno how ur crappiness is like...so i cant judge from here.
  
  for the outing part...u can try initiating another outing loh...see if she is comfortable if u bring some fren along. & if her fren has to work again on tat day, ask her to get her other frens.
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 15:52

  Originally posted by choco B:

  Tsk tsk terrible ! You snubbed her invitation.
  
  If you like the girl, always sound enthusiastic about whatever she proposes. If you have to turn her down, always propose an alternative option.
  
  How about you call her and some mutual friends out for a K box/ dinner outing. Say since you missed the last time, your throat is itching for a song and you wanna have some fun to end the year.
  

  dat's splendid.but i'll have to see if her fren is available too..
• yuko-ogura

  29 Dec 05, 15:55

  Originally posted by huiz:

  it doesnt mean when a gal says u crappy, she dun like it. it could be she like it or she doesnt like ur sense or crappiness. i nv see u b4, dunno how ur crappiness is like...so i cant judge from here.
  
  for the outing part...u can try initiating another outing loh...see if she is comfortable if u bring some fren along. & if her fren has to work again on tat day, ask her to get her other frens.

  i get wad u mean..haha!but when i say im crappy,i m really..
  
  it was like she was a bit pissed off.but that was in the past,dun think i'll dwell on it,i'll juz carry on with my life and being less crappy.
  
  ok..den i'll see wad i can do abt the outing..
• curiousOrange

  1 Jan 06, 15:17

  Originally posted by yuko-ogura:

  i get wad u mean..haha!but when i say im crappy,i m really..
  
  it was like she was a bit pissed off.but that was in the past,dun think i'll dwell on it,i'll juz carry on with my life and being less crappy.
  
  ok..den i'll see wad i can do abt the outing..

  Yuko
  
  I donÂ’t know whether you have a favorite musician but try to digest what IÂ’m trying to say here.
  
  My favorite is a Jazz musician named John Coltrane. The first few times I heard his songs, I thought they were really crappy. All the solos sounded long-winded and draggy and donÂ’t really make sense to me.
  
  I thought I had him figured out. His music is crap and not for me.
  
  But the more I listen to them, the more I feel his intensity.
  
  What was Coltrane thinking when he wrote the song?
  What are his life experiences that inspired him and made him different?
  Why is it that every time I thought I had him figured out he surprised me again?
  
  He makes me wonder. That is why I played the song again and again although I have so many other options.
  
  Humor is a good attribute to have. But it works even better if you can throw her off guard sometimes.
  
  Your situation is the same. She thought she had you figured out. So you ceased to be a challenge to her.
  
  In her opinion, you are the laidback guy who jokes too much and doesnÂ’t seem serious about anything.
  
  But when I read your posts sometimes, you appeared to be someone with many “faces”. You can be a clown at times. You can be caring, you can be mature (but that’s once in a blue moon )in what you say.
  
  Next time when you go out with her in a group outing, talk more to the others when she is around. Engage them into some mature and serious topics. Be more assertive in your opinions but liberal in what others said.
  
  Show her you can have a deep understanding about certain topics and you can have your own opinions in certain issues.
  
  It is time to show her more. But you have to let her discover them "by herself". She will be more excited by her find.
  
  Let her peel you off slowly, layer by layer (donÂ’t interpret this literally)
  
  When you want to ask her out again
  
  A tip for you. There is a common trait in good salesmen.
  
  When you step into their shop, a good salesman will never ask you whether you want to buy their product.
  
  Instead, they will eliminate your options by assuming you want their product and they will ask you what models / features you are looking for.
  
  They do this for a good reason. It shows that they are confident in what they are selling.
  
  Secondly, when they donÂ’t ask whether you want to buy their product or not, you donÂ’t have an option to decline.
  
  Next time when you ask her out, try thisÂ…
  
  Her: “ lol…”
  
  (She seems to be enjoying the conversation a lot at this point and giving you the good vibes)
  
  Yuko:
  “I really enjoyed talking with you. Let’s do this again next week.
  
  “Do you prefer lunch or dinner?” Or
  “Do you prefer Thursday or Wednesday?” Or
  “Do you prefer Japanese or French cuisine?”
  
  Then keep quiet, smile and just maintain eye contact with her until she answers. You donÂ’t have to elaborate anything. She knows your intention.
  
  Your chances will be higher than asking her,
  “Do you want to go out for dinner with me sometime?”
  
  I am assuming you know whether she has high enough interest for you.
  
  Good luck.
  
• yuko-ogura

  5 Jan 06, 13:39

  thx for the juicy tip,squashed-orange.u can't be any fresher than this.
• falling_stars

  7 Jan 06, 14:59

  Originally posted by curiousOrange:
  
  
  [b]When you want to ask her out again
  
  A tip for you. There is a common trait in good salesmen.
  
  When you step into their shop, a good salesman will never ask you whether you want to buy their product.
  
  Instead, they will eliminate your options by assuming you want their product and they will ask you what models / features you are looking for.
  
  They do this for a good reason. It shows that they are confident in what they are selling.
  
  Secondly, when they donÂ’t ask whether you want to buy their product or not, you donÂ’t have an option to decline.
  
  Next time when you ask her out, try thisÂ…
  
  Her: “ lol…”
  
  (She seems to be enjoying the conversation a lot at this point and giving you the good vibes)
  
  Yuko:
  “I really enjoyed talking with you. Let’s do this again next week.
  
  “Do you prefer lunch or dinner?” Or
  “Do you prefer Thursday or Wednesday?” Or
  “Do you prefer Japanese or French cuisine?”
  
  Then keep quiet, smile and just maintain eye contact with her until she answers. You donÂ’t have to elaborate anything. She knows your intention.
  
  Your chances will be higher than asking her,
  “Do you want to go out for dinner with me sometime?”
  
  Good luck.
  [/b]

  very good advises indeed
• enemychaser

  7 Jan 06, 17:23

  wah orange, you author of some dating advice book something? you seem to be an encyclopedia of sorts when it comes to r/s'