**I Have No Clue**
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Dear Angel out there,
I have no idea what to think. Here's the situation and four characters.
**(The Best Friend's GF)
1) My fiance has a best friend called "B". "B" has a girlfriend who can't keep her mouth shut.
a.) She talks about my fiance's ex all the time because they all went to Sydney together so its just "ex, ex, ex".
b.) She gets a little playful (which is in her nature) but at times, it really crosses the limit.
c.)(e.g.) When my fiance changed his car, he had an old license plate he wanted to give me. She took it home. (I know its just a license plate, but it holds sentimental value to me.) Its like she jumps at every chance..you know what I mean..
d.) Worse is, I have to be nice about things that she does otherwise I'll make her cry. She cries damn easily and everyone will feel sorry for her.
***(The Ex)
1)Let's call her "P".
a.) When I met up with her, she got explicit and told me everything they did together. Even though I didn't ask. She just went on and on and on. I sat there, took it in, then when I went home, I cried my eyes out.
b.) My fiance, who was there when I cried, answered a phone call from her, and spoke to her in the gentlest tone even I don't have the privilege of hearing.
c.) Worse thing she said to me: "The amount of energy he spent into getting me back within that week is probably the same amount of energy he'll put into your relationship for the rest of your life. Buay pai hor." Then the smile.
d.)Sent me a long email recently out of no reason. Told me off. Didn't reply. Too tired to pursue it.
**(THE FIANCE)
1)Lets call him "Q"
a.) When I pour my heart out, he looks at me stupefied. He says absolutely nothing, and continues surfing the net.
b.) In the end, he tells me everything I feel or say is ridiculous, so dumb to the point where he has nothing left to say.
c.)Has a tremendous attitude problem and ego. Although its within my tolerance.
**(ME)
1) I'm "A"
a.)After putting up with all these, I tell my fiance how I feel. As long as he hugs me and tells me everything is going to be okay, I could ask for nothing more.
b.) I've told him this many times. Although I think its gone in one ear and gone out the other.
c.) I've almost had children with him. Because of the pregnancy, I had to ditch my studies in Melbourne.
--->Okay, now I want to distance myself from him for abit. I know this is some stupid J.C secondary school issue, but please don't be mean guys, please don't scold me...I just need to know what to do...
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Hi Anna,
You're already suffering enough, & unless you say something real stupid in your next posts, I'll definitely try & help.
You say you've spoken to your fiance about the issues you're facing, & that you'd be fine if he could just give you the reassurance. Has he, on any occasion at all, given you any reassurance?
Has he, in your opinion, been gentler to you, or at least as gentle to you as to his ex?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by AshedAnna:Dear Angel out there,
I have no idea what to think. Here's the situation and four characters.
**(The Best Friend's GF)
1) My fiance has a best friend called "B". "B" has a girlfriend who can't keep her mouth shut.
a.) She talks about my fiance's ex all the time because they all went to Sydney together so its just "ex, ex, ex".
b.) She gets a little playful (which is in her nature) but at times, it really crosses the limit.
c.)(e.g.) When my fiance changed his car, he had an old license plate he wanted to give me. She took it home. (I know its just a license plate, but it holds sentimental value to me.) Its like she jumps at every chance..you know what I mean..
d.) Worse is, I have to be nice about things that she does otherwise I'll make her cry. She cries damn easily and everyone will feel sorry for her.
***(The Ex)
1)Let's call her "P".
a.) When I met up with her, she got explicit and told me everything they did together. Even though I didn't ask. She just went on and on and on. I sat there, took it in, then when I went home, I cried my eyes out.
b.) My fiance, who was there when I cried, answered a phone call from her, and spoke to her in the gentlest tone even I don't have the privilege of hearing.
c.) Worse thing she said to me: "The amount of energy he spent into getting me back within that week is probably the same amount of energy he'll put into your relationship for the rest of your life. Buay pai hor." Then the smile.
d.)Sent me a long email recently out of no reason. Told me off. Didn't reply. Too tired to pursue it.
**(THE FIANCE)
1)Lets call him "Q"
a.) When I pour my heart out, he looks at me stupefied. He says absolutely nothing, and continues surfing the net.
b.) In the end, he tells me everything I feel or say is ridiculous, so dumb to the point where he has nothing left to say.
c.)Has a tremendous attitude problem and ego. Although its within my tolerance.
**(ME)
1) I'm "A"
a.)After putting up with all these, I tell my fiance how I feel. As long as he hugs me and tells me everything is going to be okay, I could ask for nothing more.
b.) I've told him this many times. Although I think its gone in one ear and gone out the other.
c.) I've almost had children with him. Because of the pregnancy, I had to ditch my studies in Melbourne.
--->Okay, now I want to distance myself from him for abit. I know this is some stupid J.C secondary school issue, but please don't be mean guys, please don't scold me...I just need to know what to do... -
'Q' is your CHOICE.Originally posted by AshedAnna:Dear Angel out there,
I have no idea what to think. Here's the situation and four characters.
**(The Best Friend's GF)
1) My fiance has a best friend called "B". "B" has a girlfriend who can't keep her mouth shut.
a.) She talks about my fiance's ex all the time because they all went to Sydney together so its just "ex, ex, ex".
b.) She gets a little playful (which is in her nature) but at times, it really crosses the limit.
c.)(e.g.) When my fiance changed his car, he had an old license plate he wanted to give me. She took it home. (I know its just a license plate, but it holds sentimental value to me.) Its like she jumps at every chance..you know what I mean..
d.) Worse is, I have to be nice about things that she does otherwise I'll make her cry. She cries damn easily and everyone will feel sorry for her.
***(The Ex)
1)Let's call her "P".
a.) When I met up with her, she got explicit and told me everything they did together. Even though I didn't ask. She just went on and on and on. I sat there, took it in, then when I went home, I cried my eyes out.
b.) My fiance, who was there when I cried, answered a phone call from her, and spoke to her in the gentlest tone even I don't have the privilege of hearing.
c.) Worse thing she said to me: "The amount of energy he spent into getting me back within that week is probably the same amount of energy he'll put into your relationship for the rest of your life. Buay pai hor." Then the smile.
d.)Sent me a long email recently out of no reason. Told me off. Didn't reply. Too tired to pursue it.
**(THE FIANCE)
1)Lets call him "Q"
a.) When I pour my heart out, he looks at me stupefied. He says absolutely nothing, and continues surfing the net.
b.) In the end, he tells me everything I feel or say is ridiculous, so dumb to the point where he has nothing left to say.
c.)Has a tremendous attitude problem and ego. Although its within my tolerance.
**(ME)
1) I'm "A"
a.)After putting up with all these, I tell my fiance how I feel. As long as he hugs me and tells me everything is going to be okay, I could ask for nothing more.
b.) I've told him this many times. Although I think its gone in one ear and gone out the other.
c.) I've almost had children with him. Because of the pregnancy, I had to ditch my studies in Melbourne.
--->Okay, now I want to distance myself from him for abit. I know this is some stupid J.C secondary school issue, but please don't be mean guys, please don't scold me...I just need to know what to do...
'P' is a PAST you choose to mingle with?
'B' is just a part of facts which lies within your world.. Just like other aspects of your life... -
No FeowFeow, only in the beginning of the relationship he was the nicest as always with most relationships. But, NEVER like that .....not when he spoke to her, no.
No assurance either, just a blank stare which makes me feel really dumb. -
Yes "Q" is my choice. Inevitable, so is "B". I have stayed far away from "P" but for some reason she enjoys sending me emails out of the blue and telling me "she had him, too bad, live with it." I didn't even show any signs of not accepting it. Sure it'll hurt for me but I'm not complaining. I thought my fiance was just too pussy to tell her off because ultimately, I just got pulled into her little jealousy about him getting back with me. She already has a boyfriend. Jesus. For awhile I just want the whole negative aspect of things to shut up for awhile so I can think straight.Originally posted by Devil1976:'Q' is your CHOICE.
'P' is a PAST you choose to mingle with?
'B' is just a part of facts which lies within your world.. Just like other aspects of your life... -
Your fiance obviously dosen't listen to you 100%.Originally posted by AshedAnna:Yes "Q" is my choice. Inevitable, so is "B". I have stayed far away from "P" but for some reason she enjoys sending me emails out of the blue and telling me "she had him, too bad, live with it." I didn't even show any signs of not accepting it. Sure it'll hurt for me but I'm not complaining. I thought my fiance was just too pussy to tell her off because ultimately, I just got pulled into her little jealousy about him getting back with me. She already has a boyfriend. Jesus. For awhile I just want the whole negative aspect of things to shut up for awhile so I can think straight.
You need to get straight with him. IF you continue this until you say your "I Dos" then its gonna be a hell of a long journey. Make him focus on you and not that b!tch ex of his... I mean come one, after all your still his fiancee -
I have nowhere else to turn. Sure I'm his fiance, but I think many things have been denied here. I knew him since secondary school, I admit I broke his heart twice. Then in poly he met her, (type "Gwensilvz" in search and find the thread "Save the Love". That's the whole story of them.)
Now, its like we just tell everybody we've been together for what, seven years? Meaning that it implies we didn't break up at all since sec. school. No other girl or guy in the picture. Some stupid fairytale.
Trust me, no matter how many times I've tried to talk to him, its always the same, blank stare or one harsh sentence. Either way, at the end of the day, its my fault and I end up feeling like trash.
I don't intend to lay blame on anyone. I just need to understand what exactly is happening because its driving me nuts..... What am I supposed to do now? Its already been a year and 4 months...I'm going absolutely bananas thinking about all this unsolved mess with his ex, especially...ugh... -
I think he shouldn't be your fiance.
It seems like he doesn't have any feelings for you (anymore?) and the more you tell him how you feel about his (insert hi negative actions, personalities, etc), the more annoyed he is. -
Fair enough....maybe that's the case. But I like to go peacefully you know...sort of like...okay, just tell me the truth, its all good.
It hurts like sh!t. He thinks its so easy to place everything behind me. Its easy for him probably because he spends half of his life running away from things and acting like they don't exist.
But I want to be there for him tho, funnily enough. Its just that its a very weird situation. Its more akward than saddening. I wonder what men think. -
If I am 'Q', I would think there should be little I can do much about the situation UNLESS you want me to CONFRONT 'P'? The best I could sensibly do probably would be to console you... But I'm not sure if it would help..Originally posted by AshedAnna:Yes "Q" is my choice. Inevitable, so is "B". I have stayed far away from "P" but for some reason she enjoys sending me emails out of the blue and telling me "she had him, too bad, live with it." I didn't even show any signs of not accepting it. Sure it'll hurt for me but I'm not complaining. I thought my fiance was just too pussy to tell her off because ultimately, I just got pulled into her little jealousy about him getting back with me. She already has a boyfriend. Jesus. For awhile I just want the whole negative aspect of things to shut up for awhile so I can think straight.
'P' is just PLAIN JEALOUS of SH|T... My personal advice for you would be NOT to let this type of person SPOIL YOUR RELATIONSHIP in ANY WAY they try... It's not worth it.. Any e-mail or messages, don't bother to read... Just DELETE them off... -
I did delete it...which I regret now otherwise I can forward to you the email. The thing is, I laughed when I got it because it is quite childish...until I saw this:
"I knoe you are pregnant last time lo...and one of ur babies is abit retarded or wat...maybe dat one also screw ur brain up a bit but accidents happen lor..lucky i din slp wit him otherwise dis will be happenin to me. Just hope nothin jinx ur r/s wit him."
The email would've slipped off my shoulder. This was the part that got to me...
That wasn't necessary.......although she did get it right.... -
I apologise for crapping here. I just needed to let it out....
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How the hell did she know about your pregnancy then? your ex told her?
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I have no idea.
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I STILL think you're better off alone.
Have a great day. -
You have a right to feel insecure, especially when your bf doesn't treat you as gently as he does with his ex.
From your later post replying Dev, I would say his ex knows she still has a place in his heart, & is playing on that to deliberately hurt you. For some sick, warped reason, she wants you to know that, "I was here 1st" to stake her claim. 1 phrase comes to mind: Bo Liao.
Perhaps it may be time to tell your fiance plainly that all this is hurting you, & although you trust him, her taunts don't exactly make you feel good. If he was in your shoes, he may deal with it, but it's hard on you. If he doesn't give you support, then how much support is he gonna give you when you guys are married?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by AshedAnna:No FeowFeow, only in the beginning of the relationship he was the nicest as always with most relationships. But, NEVER like that .....not when he spoke to her, no.
No assurance either, just a blank stare which makes me feel really dumb. -
Just how does she know about these facts? Is it a 'general knowledge' to all or has someone told her about this...? One would be one of my concerns...Originally posted by AshedAnna:I did delete it...which I regret now otherwise I can forward to you the email. The thing is, I laughed when I got it because it is quite childish...until I saw this:
"I knoe you are pregnant last time lo...and one of ur babies is abit retarded or wat...maybe dat one also screw ur brain up a bit but accidents happen lor..lucky i din slp wit him otherwise dis will be happenin to me. Just hope nothin jinx ur r/s wit him."
The email would've slipped off my shoulder. This was the part that got to me...
That wasn't necessary.......although she did get it right....
I URGE you NOT to read through any of her e-mail or sms if they're really causing you much agony... Have you let your fiance read them? Did he bother to at all? What's his response like again..?
Hmm.. This is more like a PERSONAL ATTACK... Your fiance should very well know it has very much to do with him... Can you sue that woman?
FINALLY... I would like to EMPHASIZE AGAIN... YOUR MAN is... YOUR CHOICE...
GOOD LUCK? -
Its not general knowledge. Its ok guys, thanks for all your contributions. Can someone close this thread? Would be good. Thank you.Originally posted by Devil1976:Just how does she know about these facts? Is it a 'general knowledge' to all or has someone told her about this...? One would be one of my concerns...
I URGE you NOT to read through any of her e-mail or sms if they're really causing you much agony... Have you let your fiance read them? Did he bother to at all? What's his response like again..?
Hmm.. This is more like a PERSONAL ATTACK... Your fiance should very well know it has very much to do with him... Can you sue that woman?
FINALLY... I would like to EMPHASIZE AGAIN... YOUR MAN is... YOUR CHOICE...
GOOD LUCK?