how fragile life is...
-
know it's kinda bo liao for me create a topic about this.. but somehow just wanna say out whats bothering me the whole day.. sigh..
today is 1st day of cny.. somehow my gf told me her granny pass away yesterday.. though she just msged me telling me everything is okay.. dun need to worry about her.. but i just cant dun worry and expect things will be fine after few days when it's over..
somehow i just felt that im helpless in anything.. all i think i can do is to wait for her msg.. i know i just create a topic last week asking help on v day present.. now it's all ruin.. but will still make and buy some stuff to make her e present of coz hope she will spent e day with me after all that period of time it's e release of O lvl results for her.. sad but true.. -
Wel, maybe, once in a while, you can just sms her to let her know that you care. If your gf is not close to her granny, then, she will be able to let go very fast. If she is close, then, i suggest that you spend more time with her after the wake is over. Most of us only realise the lost and emptiness when we are back in a familiar place and suddenly realised that person is no longer around.
You can go ahead with your preparation for the V. day but, try to make it as low-key as possible.
Cheers. -
she and her granny quite close.. now im doing like what u said.. once awhile drop her a msg letting her know that im always there for her.. but all i can think of is that.. cant find something else to say.. sighh.. been saying that for quite a few times.. just hope she wont get bored of me saying that and nothing new.. how can i let her know that i care other than that? i cant meet her for this few days.. as she said she's busy.. im okay with it.. but somehow hope she will still msg me once awhile and i doing the same too.. how to keep it going..?Originally posted by ILPSY:Wel, maybe, once in a while, you can just sms her to let her know that you care. If your gf is not close to her granny, then, she will be able to let go very fast. If she is close, then, i suggest that you spend more time with her after the wake is over. Most of us only realise the lost and emptiness when we are back in a familiar place and suddenly realised that person is no longer around.
You can go ahead with your preparation for the V. day but, try to make it as low-key as possible.
Cheers. -
I think that maybe you should go comfort her or something... She might be actually wanting you to comfort her...
-
i tried but think she's busy or something.. gave her a few fone calls yet no answer.. just hope things will be better as time goes by bah..Originally posted by hyperactivechatterbox:I think that maybe you should go comfort her or something... She might be actually wanting you to comfort her...
wanting to meet her yet she's busy.. -
Just meet face to face. Give her a hug or something
-
yup.. really wish to meet her real soon.. but not sure when after all she said she will be busy till thursday..
-
Do you have any idea where the wake is? If you know, you can drop by and sit around for a while. Dun disturb her but make your presence felt while she is busy with the stuff...
-
just know the location but not sure where it is.. but i need her to approve me to go.. after all our relationship haven let her family members know yet.. and her parents didnt allow her to have any r/s till 21.. and she's 17 and im 18 this year..Originally posted by ILPSY:Do you have any idea where the wake is? If you know, you can drop by and sit around for a while. Dun disturb her but make your presence felt while she is busy with the stuff...
i cant afford to get expose and ruin our relationship as i really cherish our r/s -
oh..i think you better not go over first...
its CNY...i doubt your parents will approve you of going over..(not that i m heartless, but elders are more sensitive abt such issues)
msg or call her till she reply..and ask whether its approporiate for you to go over..and tell your parents about it.. then make the decision..
of cse when things happen, its always good to be by your partner's side..
my case was bad...i always not around when she needed me..i either overseas or work till midnight... thats y, mine ended in one way or another..hehe..but lesson learnt liao...
but i think you had done what you could by smsing or calling her already..wait n see what she says first....
or u can sent a wreath to her family?? online can order right? -
not tryin to scare u..but these may be signs... that u shd leave her alone for a while.Originally posted by madman_me:i tried but think she's busy or something.. gave her a few fone calls yet no answer.. just hope things will be better as time goes by bah..
wanting to meet her yet she's busy..
Think abt it: U gave her a few phone calls. She did not pick up. Did she ever call u? Give her some space brother. -
am not going over there as she dun really wanna me to go.. as for my parents, they're quite okay with it. but the final decision lies on my gf which she dun really want to risk it..
now what i did is only once awhile give her a msg.. like what dokono said give her some space.. after all so many things happen cant be selfish i think..
thanks alot ya for e advices. feeling much better now..
-
i suggest u cut ur msgs by half also...maybe around once a week but u let her know u will be there when she needs u.. and finally, let her contact u to go out together instead. Dun act like u are too needy for her.Originally posted by madman_me:am not going over there as she dun really wanna me to go.. as for my parents, they're quite okay with it. but the final decision lies on my gf which she dun really want to risk it..
now what i did is only once awhile give her a msg.. like what dokono said give her some space.. after all so many things happen cant be selfish i think..
thanks alot ya for e advices. feeling much better now.. -
wah 21 den can hav bf.......nowadays still got parents so strict...........
well anyway back to the topic.....i tink u dun msg her too much during this period.....but still muz concern her lorhz.....
dun go n visit her i suggest........since her parents didnt allow her to hav a relationship now......if her parents now abt it not onli relationship will be broken......will cause a major breakdown for her de lorh.....granny pass away, den relationship prob........
dun worry dude, this is juz a transition period....after everything i guess everything will be back to the same.....yeah..... -
*Hugs*
Everrything will be ok.......Dont worry so much ya?
Send her smses once awhile. Perhaps leave a msg to her saying that if she wanna talk to someone, u are always here waiting for her call?
Yesh..I agree life is fragile... Within a period of 2 mnths, i lost my granny n granduncle. I guess life n death part and parcel of our lives. Its something beyond our control i guess. My buddy worst..lost his best mate n his camp buddy within a wk.
Treasure ur life. Make full use of it. =D And i think ur priority nw is to cheer her up. Dont bombard her with, "Time will heal all wounds" blahblahblah. Cos i guess at this time she wont be able to get anything into her head. Just sit n listen to her...after a few days..then u start to say those time will heal pain n stuff... -
whats the point of making a thread to tell us about this..your gf is sad which makes u sad indirectly..SO?
we all know how fragile life is,i lost a good friend at the age of 17..so just move on with ur life seriously.so what if ur gf is sad?tell us for what,just go down and comfort her when she needs it most..
care and concernn over a difficult period of time > over any valentine's gift
life lesson's like this need not be taught... -
I know it is not easy.
to do, or not to do.....
do what?.....
should I do....
when she say okay, is she really ok.....
I can't tell you what to do, but there is one thing you can do now...
get a card or a letter pad, write down how you feel now.
doesn't matter if some part of you is not "man".
like if you feel helpless thu you wish to help her (this might not present the very man side of you) but just write how you feel.
including want to go to the wake to pay your respect but consider her position..
want to hug her to comfort her but....
Just write it down and send it out.
You have done your best, when you look back after some time, you know you have give all consideration and that us all you can do.
Its okay to feel lost, its okay to be helpless, its okay.
You are 17, I am 36, I feel lost even now from time to time. -
one thing my instructor keep on telling me..
U can't save everyone....remember that... -
thanks but still thanks again for all the advice.. yes i must agree that i cant keep msging her every now and then.. cant make it that i cant live without her though i think im feeling now..
of coz some may feel that how dumb can i get to create this topic saying how life blah blah blah.. but all i just want is to say e things out somehow i feel it made me feel better.. who can i turn to right now..? i cant be staying in my room hiding away crying out heart out.. -
It's a total lost for you also now too right ? You wishes to be with your girlfriend, to be there for her. But now your contraints is that if you were to let her parents know about the relationship, it will cause you 2 to be seperated. The one affected most will be your girlfriend because she have just lost her Granny, definately losing her boyfriend now will hit her hardest.
What I'll suggest is that you wait till the funeral matters are all settled first since she wishes to be alone right now. Maybe she's just too lost to think of other things. Maybe you can get her bestfriend to ask her and talk to her ? It will help especially if she's bottling things up within her.
V-Day is very close, just 2 weeks to be exact. She might have just settled down by then. So whether to continue with V-Day outing, get her consents first. Maybe her parents might want her to be home now cause her parents is so strict and think they might also want to be conservatives as in 1 month of mourning period.
Death is inevitable in life. I too have lost 2 Grand-Uncle & 1 Grand-Aunt within 1 year period and I myself have to handle partial of the funerals for 1 Grand-Uncle and Grand-Aunt and also to clear their flats cause they're childless. The sadness is there, but you have to tell yourself that whatever had happened had already happened. No matter what you do, it will not be reversed. Hope your girlfriend could take it that way.
As for you, hope you've felt better by pouring out your inside now. If you're religious, maybe going to the Church, Temple, etc might help. Talk to someone you can confide in. I do that when I'm upset. Meanwhile, I can only say, take care dude. I'll keep you and your girlfriend in prayer. -
think i'll wait till e time she feeling better then i gotta plan anything bah.. but after receive her msg think she's feeling better after all in e msg she sound quite her usual self.. i cant really ask her good buddy to talk to her as i think they dun really know whats happening too.. and think the more people know the more stress she get bah..Originally posted by photo_seeker:It's a total lost for you also now too right ? You wishes to be with your girlfriend, to be there for her. But now your contraints is that if you were to let her parents know about the relationship, it will cause you 2 to be seperated. The one affected most will be your girlfriend because she have just lost her Granny, definately losing her boyfriend now will hit her hardest.
What I'll suggest is that you wait till the funeral matters are all settled first since she wishes to be alone right now. Maybe she's just too lost to think of other things. Maybe you can get her bestfriend to ask her and talk to her ? It will help especially if she's bottling things up within her.
V-Day is very close, just 2 weeks to be exact. She might have just settled down by then. So whether to continue with V-Day outing, get her consents first. Maybe her parents might want her to be home now cause her parents is so strict and think they might also want to be conservatives as in 1 month of mourning period.
Death is inevitable in life. I too have lost 2 Grand-Uncle & 1 Grand-Aunt within 1 year period and I myself have to handle partial of the funerals for 1 Grand-Uncle and Grand-Aunt and also to clear their flats cause they're childless. The sadness is there, but you have to tell yourself that whatever had happened had already happened. No matter what you do, it will not be reversed. Hope your girlfriend could take it that way.
As for you, hope you've felt better by pouring out your inside now. If you're religious, maybe going to the Church, Temple, etc might help. Talk to someone you can confide in. I do that when I'm upset. Meanwhile, I can only say, take care dude. I'll keep you and your girlfriend in prayer.
since v day is just 2 weeks away.. actually even we nv really go out it's quite okay with me.. i mean must be understanding too. but will still getting her some stuff and hope can cheer her up abit..
anyway, ya thanks for taking the time read and type it.. it did really make me feel better.. at first really quite lost and helpless as i cant help much but think as time goes by my msg did really made her feel better.. for now. just hope that things will be better as time goes by after all she gotta skip school for 2 days and she starting to miss school life too..