Who is in the wrong ???
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I'm being bullied by my bf's sis and her colleague.
1st incident:
My bf has a company doing face painting. He bought the face painting stuffs worth a few thousand dollars and handed over to his sis recently. So now his sis is the so called "boss" after paying a small amount for topping up the paints. His sister usually does face painting with her colleague Adeline. However, as these 2 people cannot give total commitment to this part time job, my bf has asked another lady Shannon and I to help out occasionally.
There was once (about 1 to 2mths back) Adeline and I went for face painting together. Nothing much happened on that day. Shortly after that, my bf had another face painting assignment and my bf told me that Adeline has requested not to work with me and prefer to work with Shannon. Reason given: There is no common interest, nothing to talk, and I looked stern. I was so angry after hearing this. IÂ’m born with a face that looks stern when I do not smile or laugh. ItÂ’s not my fault. But IÂ’m a kind and friendly person to those who know me. I agree that there is no common interest as there is an age gap of around 10 years between us, however this does not gives her the right to choose her face painting partner. Sometimes I even helped my bfÂ’s sister and her to wash the brushes when I was not even doing face painting and also offered them advises on how to handle crowd and end the face painting queue without having to over extend the time. Yet, this is the kind of treatment and feedback I got back from them.
2nd incident:
Recently I received calls from my bf and his sis asking whether I took their apron used for face painting. My bfÂ’s sis told me that Adeline said during the last time I worked with Adeline, Adeline passed me a red apron and I wore it without returning it to her. However, I remembered clearly that I was wearing my own yellow apron and Adeline did not even pass any red apron to me, less alone wearing it.
My bf sis called me back shortly to inform that her maid has found it and she apologized for that. She also said that Adeline cannot remember clearly. But donÂ’t you think that I would be made a scapegoat if the apron cannot be found? If Adeline cannot remember the incident clearly, she should just admit that she cannot remember and should not just made up stories and pushed the blame to me. I am already very pissed off with Adeline after these 2 incidents.
Below are my sms conversation with my bfÂ’s sister (no quarrel on the phone):
His sister (copied from her sms): “ all, it’s a misunderstanding. I hv clarified with all parties. Apron at my house. My apologies! “
Myself: (recall from memory) “ Dun worry, since this is a misunderstanding, I wun take it to heart. But please ask her to remember clearly next time rather than just make assumptions.”
Myself: (recall from memory) “ I think my tone was a bit hash. Sorry. “
His sister (copied from her sms): “ No worry. I wont take it 2 heart. Guess y u r uptight with adel is bcos of her comment abt u. B4 u hear anthing frm my bro, pls check with me. In fact, she didn’t say anything bad except tt there is no common interest btwn 2 of u n u look stern. I do agree tt’s a frank opinion! Xxx(my bf’s name) sometime can blow thing out of proportion so better listen 2 both parties b4 drawing c’clusion. I m not siding her but I 1 2 clear e air n trust I can hv a supportive n cordial fp group 2 support xxx’s business and extra income 4 us, ladies!”
Myself (copied from my sms): “To be frank, I dislike her after these 2 incidents. 1st, she has no right to choose her working partner unless my attitude really sucks. 2nd she should just say that she forgets where the apron is and not saying that I took it and even wear it when it’s not e truth. If the apron is not found, I’ll be a scapegoat for nothing. No matter what, my impression of her will never change and I dun wish to work with such person ever again.”
His sister (copied from her sms): “Tt’s fine, if u choose 2 harbour such hatred. I thot u r an easy going n magnanimous lady. S’prised n disaptd 2 know that u r an unforgiving person Puzzled y u hate her when I alrdy explnd at length th she didn’t speak bad abt u. She also apolgd 2 me on her fuzzy brain. Fyi, she didn’t choose her fp partner. I m e 1 who asked my bro 2 swop so does that mean u hated me? In life, 1 shd learn 2 4give not bear grudges. That’s all I can add.
DonÂ’t you think his sisterÂ’s sis seems to be very offensive towards me when I told her that I dislike Adeline? Bear in mind that I did not even make any negative remarks on my bfÂ’s sister.
It is Adeline who created trouble for me and his sister sent me such sms when I voiced out the fact that I dislike Adeline. By the way, Adeline did not even apologise to me and his sister sent such offensive remarks without even considering the possibility that I may be her future sister in law. Am I in the wrong to be angry with the both of them?
Now, I am being seen as an unforgiving person in the eyes of my bf and his family. This is simply too unfair to me. DonÂ’t you think IÂ’m being bullied?
Sorry for the long story, I hope you readers can comment on who is in the wrong. If majority think that IÂ’m in the wrong, then fineÂ… IÂ’ll accept it. -
I only read your first paragraph and find that I also look stern
When I'm not laughing or anything.. If they want to work with you then never 1, Can go outside look for a job provided your bf agrees just in case he thinks you angry with him and then later say you very petty
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I think what you have described is a small and trivial matter. Why would you want to get so worked up over this? I think Adeline's comment was just frank in nature. Im sure that it wasnt a remark intended to offend.
Mistakes always occur in the working environment. It should just be treated as an "everyday inconveniences".
No matter what, my impression of her will never change and I dun wish to work with such person ever again.” --->Also, I find this sentence in your sms rather strong and could perhaps explain why the response you get was slightly offensive from your bf sister.
Try to be a bit more tolerant and understanding yeah? Peace be with you.
I dont think anybody is in the wrong here. And, you are not being bullied. Its just that things happen in such a way that you perceived it to be victimizing.
I suggest that an sms to your bf sis saying you are not angry at adeline anymore and that it was all a misunderstanding would clear up this matter. -
You'd have to be more forgiving also. I don't know... but from the way i see it... you're a little petty too. I mean... even if you dislike adeline.. you shouldn't go tell her close friend (i'm guessing so.).
You'd need to build up on your PR skills. So err... try to make peace? I mean... you are colleagues afterall... -
If you face is stern, face paint a smile on your face before you start.
I agree, such a trivial story. Next... -
too long never read so did your bf protect u in the process ?
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Erm, I think you're kinda... petty?
It's only a small matter..............
FeowFeowOriginally posted by NovGirl:I'm being bullied by my bf's sis and her colleague.
1st incident:
My bf has a company doing face painting. He bought the face painting stuffs worth a few thousand dollars and handed over to his sis recently. So now his sis is the so called "boss" after paying a small amount for topping up the paints. His sister usually does face painting with her colleague Adeline. However, as these 2 people cannot give total commitment to this part time job, my bf has asked another lady Shannon and I to help out occasionally.
There was once (about 1 to 2mths back) Adeline and I went for face painting together. Nothing much happened on that day. Shortly after that, my bf had another face painting assignment and my bf told me that Adeline has requested not to work with me and prefer to work with Shannon. Reason given: There is no common interest, nothing to talk, and I looked stern. I was so angry after hearing this. IÂ’m born with a face that looks stern when I do not smile or laugh. ItÂ’s not my fault. But IÂ’m a kind and friendly person to those who know me. I agree that there is no common interest as there is an age gap of around 10 years between us, however this does not gives her the right to choose her face painting partner. Sometimes I even helped my bfÂ’s sister and her to wash the brushes when I was not even doing face painting and also offered them advises on how to handle crowd and end the face painting queue without having to over extend the time. Yet, this is the kind of treatment and feedback I got back from them.
2nd incident:
Recently I received calls from my bf and his sis asking whether I took their apron used for face painting. My bfÂ’s sis told me that Adeline said during the last time I worked with Adeline, Adeline passed me a red apron and I wore it without returning it to her. However, I remembered clearly that I was wearing my own yellow apron and Adeline did not even pass any red apron to me, less alone wearing it.
My bf sis called me back shortly to inform that her maid has found it and she apologized for that. She also said that Adeline cannot remember clearly. But donÂ’t you think that I would be made a scapegoat if the apron cannot be found? If Adeline cannot remember the incident clearly, she should just admit that she cannot remember and should not just made up stories and pushed the blame to me. I am already very pissed off with Adeline after these 2 incidents.
Below are my sms conversation with my bfÂ’s sister (no quarrel on the phone):
His sister (copied from her sms): “ all, it’s a misunderstanding. I hv clarified with all parties. Apron at my house. My apologies! “
Myself: (recall from memory) “ Dun worry, since this is a misunderstanding, I wun take it to heart. But please ask her to remember clearly next time rather than just make assumptions.”
Myself: (recall from memory) “ I think my tone was a bit hash. Sorry. “
His sister (copied from her sms): “ No worry. I wont take it 2 heart. Guess y u r uptight with adel is bcos of her comment abt u. B4 u hear anthing frm my bro, pls check with me. In fact, she didn’t say anything bad except tt there is no common interest btwn 2 of u n u look stern. I do agree tt’s a frank opinion! Xxx(my bf’s name) sometime can blow thing out of proportion so better listen 2 both parties b4 drawing c’clusion. I m not siding her but I 1 2 clear e air n trust I can hv a supportive n cordial fp group 2 support xxx’s business and extra income 4 us, ladies!”
Myself (copied from my sms): “To be frank, I dislike her after these 2 incidents. 1st, she has no right to choose her working partner unless my attitude really sucks. 2nd she should just say that she forgets where the apron is and not saying that I took it and even wear it when it’s not e truth. If the apron is not found, I’ll be a scapegoat for nothing. No matter what, my impression of her will never change and I dun wish to work with such person ever again.”
His sister (copied from her sms): “Tt’s fine, if u choose 2 harbour such hatred. I thot u r an easy going n magnanimous lady. S’prised n disaptd 2 know that u r an unforgiving person Puzzled y u hate her when I alrdy explnd at length th she didn’t speak bad abt u. She also apolgd 2 me on her fuzzy brain. Fyi, she didn’t choose her fp partner. I m e 1 who asked my bro 2 swop so does that mean u hated me? In life, 1 shd learn 2 4give not bear grudges. That’s all I can add.
DonÂ’t you think his sisterÂ’s sis seems to be very offensive towards me when I told her that I dislike Adeline? Bear in mind that I did not even make any negative remarks on my bfÂ’s sister.
It is Adeline who created trouble for me and his sister sent me such sms when I voiced out the fact that I dislike Adeline. By the way, Adeline did not even apologise to me and his sister sent such offensive remarks without even considering the possibility that I may be her future sister in law. Am I in the wrong to be angry with the both of them?
Now, I am being seen as an unforgiving person in the eyes of my bf and his family. This is simply too unfair to me. DonÂ’t you think IÂ’m being bullied?
Sorry for the long story, I hope you readers can comment on who is in the wrong. If majority think that IÂ’m in the wrong, then fineÂ… IÂ’ll accept it. -
moderator, can u help me to remove my posting?
thanks. -
Shall close it for you.Originally posted by NovGirl:moderator, can u help me to remove my posting?
thanks. -
MOD [Topic is closed upon Topic starter's request.]