How would you handle this situation ?? HELP ME !!
-
this has been bugging me for months.....
My Sis and my mum has started a business together a few months ago ..... the thing is, they are both short temper and will always have conflicts on how the business should be run.
normally that would not be a bad thing, but because both are unwilling to compromise or even try out other suggestion...... that leads to them shouting at each other and passing harsh remarks hurting each other's feelings and I'll always be put in the middle of them playing the peace maker's roll ......
this is draining me metally ..... i dun wan to take sides as no matter which side i choose or wat i say ..... the other party will feel that i am ganging up with the other against her ...... I'm going into a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN !!! its affecting my work .....
Advise needed !!!
-
tell them if want to do business together, work together.
-
you dont get involved.
or how about your father? -
Problem is that they will always start complaining everything to me, and after that, they will ask me to try and take to the other ..... so how do I not get involved when one's my mum and the others my sis ???Originally posted by dragg:you dont get involved.
or how about your father?
as for my father, he's a man of few words .... don't really like to speak much so ...... -
u say u dun wanna get involved already coz' a few days l8r, it's gonna happen again anyway.Originally posted by MiX Metal:Problem is that they will always start complaining everything to me, and after that, they will ask me to try and take to the other ..... so how do I not get involved when one's my mum and the others my sis ??? -
Hmm mb u should try to tell them.. "hey its a business...our business... either we strive or we go all de way down...if we dun cooperate, we cant strive, we cant earn $$..u wan us to earn rite...den throw all our ideas and make a perfect change..." erm dis is just wad i will say if i were u =X but if it dun work pls dun blame me..i still studying..in sec sch haha...just trying to help...=)
-
get them to sit down and work on, compromise and agree on a business terms, conditions etc.
after that, they are to follow the plan accordingly.
constantly remind them that if they want to succeed in the business that they started, they must learn to work with each other or end it all. -
learn from your father.Originally posted by MiX Metal:Problem is that they will always start complaining everything to me, and after that, they will ask me to try and take to the other ..... so how do I not get involved when one's my mum and the others my sis ???
as for my father, he's a man of few words .... don't really like to speak much so ...... -
hire a expert to guide them instead.........
-
me hor i will just shut up with them about the topic let them settle themselves its their business afterall. in fact i might even go as far as to tell them straight its their problem dun drag me in, if cannot settle break up businesss
-
first of all i am not working wif them, i'm working for another company ...... and i know that the only solution is to leave them be ...... but it is getting to a point whereby it is damaging the mother daughter r/s ..... I'm part of the family, how can I stand aside and let it carry on ?????
I simply can't do that ...... I need to find a solution that will not hurt either one of them but at my current state of mind plus work preasure ...... my mind is at a total blank !!!!!!
I'm so dx@# stress out right now ............... -
What to tell your sister when mum's not around:Originally posted by MiX Metal:this has been bugging me for months.....
My Sis and my mum has started a business together a few months ago ..... the thing is, they are both short temper and will always have conflicts on how the business should be run.
normally that would not be a bad thing, but because both are unwilling to compromise or even try out other suggestion...... that leads to them shouting at each other and passing harsh remarks hurting each other's feelings and I'll always be put in the middle of them playing the peace maker's roll ......
this is draining me metally ..... i dun wan to take sides as no matter which side i choose or wat i say ..... the other party will feel that i am ganging up with the other against her ...... I'm going into a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN !!! its affecting my work .....
Advise needed !!!
"I like your ideas actually. "
"If I'm in your situation, my mind will tell me to try out those ideas...but my heart will tell me otherwise"
"She's our mum afterall."
"She's already (insert age). I want her to spend her time enjoying her life and I want her to be happy...I sure if you think about it calmly. You will feel that way too...there's only one mum."
"So try to compromise a bit and let her have her way sometimes...her way is not all bad!"
What to tell your mum when sister's not around:
"I like your ideas actually." (hmmm....sounds familiar right?! LOL!)
"She's a tad stubborn but she has a lot of creative ideas...she needs someone with more experience to guide her along."
"In fact, I talked to her when you are not around...she's just disappointed with herself that her ideas fail to meet up with your expectations.
"But she's your daughter...I'm sure you understand her better than anyone else...
"You have to compromise a bit and let her have her way sometimes...but hey, her way is not that bad afterall!"
Work on their emotional side.
And the best part?
No one will blame you for telling some white lies in this case...they will probably see where you are coming from.
So give it a try.
Take care!
-
learn from ur father thenOriginally posted by MiX Metal:Problem is that they will always start complaining everything to me, and after that, they will ask me to try and take to the other ..... so how do I not get involved when one's my mum and the others my sis ???
as for my father, he's a man of few words .... don't really like to speak much so ...... 
-
Ya lor...maybe he's got a secret manual...hidden under his pillow.Originally posted by eCloud:learn from ur father then
"THE HOLY TRUTH ON HOW TO DEAL WITH STUBBORN WIFE AND DAUGHTER"
Only 1 page...he gave up after writing this:
Rule no. 1 :
Siam if possible. -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:Ya lor...maybe he's got a secret manual...hidden under his pillow.
"THE HOLY TRUTH ON HOW TO DEAL WITH STUBBORN WIFE AND DAUGHTER"
Only 1 page...he gave up after writing this:
Rule no. 1 :
Siam if possible. -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:Ya lor...maybe he's got a secret manual...hidden under his pillow.
"THE HOLY TRUTH ON HOW TO DEAL WITH STUBBORN WIFE AND DAUGHTER"
Only 1 page...he gave up after writing this:
Rule no. 1 :
Siam if possible. -
Originally posted by nuchio:get them to sit down and work on, compromise and agree on a business terms, conditions etc.
after that, they are to follow the plan accordingly.
constantly remind them that if they want to succeed in the business that they started, they must learn to work with each other or end it all.
Carry on only if they can afford to. The way they're working at, it'll probably work out to be more than just a 'lose lose' situation, but a 'lose lose lose' one where they'll lost more than the $ they've invested but also the mother-daughter relationship... And the thought of $ shouldn't really be buying away their kinship... -
OPENLY in front of the TWO of them ANNOUNCE that you are a NEUTRAL STANDOriginally posted by MiX Metal:this has been bugging me for months.....
My Sis and my mum has started a business together a few months ago ..... the thing is, they are both short temper and will always have conflicts on how the business should be run.
normally that would not be a bad thing, but because both are unwilling to compromise or even try out other suggestion...... that leads to them shouting at each other and passing harsh remarks hurting each other's feelings and I'll always be put in the middle of them playing the peace maker's roll ......
this is draining me metally ..... i dun wan to take sides as no matter which side i choose or wat i say ..... the other party will feel that i am ganging up with the other against her ...... I'm going into a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN !!! its affecting my work .....
Advise needed !!! 
-
Tell them if they can't agree, then one of them buy the other out.
-
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
I've tried that ....... back fired on me.....
[b]What to tell your sister when mum's not around:
"I like your ideas actually. "
"If I'm in your situation, my mind will tell me to try out those ideas...but my heart will tell me otherwise"
"She's our mum afterall."
"She's already (insert age). I want her to spend her time enjoying her life and I want her to be happy...I sure if you think about it calmly. You will feel that way too...there's only one mum."
"So try to compromise a bit and let her have her way sometimes...her way is not all bad!"
What to tell your mum when sister's not around:
"I like your ideas actually." (hmmm....sounds familiar right?! LOL!)
"She's a tad stubborn but she has a lot of creative ideas...she needs someone with more experience to guide her along."
"In fact, I talked to her when you are not around...she's just disappointed with herself that her ideas fail to meet up with your expectations.
"But she's your daughter...I'm sure you understand her better than anyone else...
"You have to compromise a bit and let her have her way sometimes...but hey, her way is not that bad afterall!"
Work on their emotional side.
And the best part?
No one will blame you for telling some white lies in this case...they will probably see where you are coming from.
So give it a try.
Take care! [/b] -
by being a part of the family then you should be like your father and talk a little.Originally posted by MiX Metal:first of all i am not working wif them, i'm working for another company ...... and i know that the only solution is to leave them be ...... but it is getting to a point whereby it is damaging the mother daughter r/s ..... I'm part of the family, how can I stand aside and let it carry on ?????
I simply can't do that ...... I need to find a solution that will not hurt either one of them but at my current state of mind plus work preasure ...... my mind is at a total blank !!!!!!
I'm so dx@# stress out right now ...............
Wahts the point of pushing yourself and taking everything onto yourself to solve a problem which only both your sis and mum could solve?
Remember this clearly! Is not your problem!!!! Thats why you cannot stop it.
The only thing you can do is to ignore them. Refuse to take sides and tell them to stop it. If they still want to act like kids like them be. You have done your part.
As you say you are working for your company not theirs.
Who feeds you ? your company.. not them... -
I know that's the best thing for me .... but i jus couldn't help it ...... to me family's everything .....Originally posted by drx:by being a part of the family then you should be like your father and talk a little.
Wahts the point of pushing yourself and taking everything onto yourself to solve a problem which only both your sis and mum could solve?
Remember this clearly! Is not your problem!!!! Thats why you cannot stop it.
The only thing you can do is to ignore them. Refuse to take sides and tell them to stop it. If they still want to act like kids like them be. You have done your part.
As you say you are working for your company not theirs.
Who feeds you ? your company.. not them...
as for my company, I'm thankful that i have an understanding boss. -
i understand is a tough thing but sometimes letting it go may not be a bad thing.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I know that's the best thing for me .... but i jus couldn't help it ...... to me family's everything .....
as for my company, I'm thankful that i have an understanding boss.
Why hold onto something when you cannot change it?
Yes you r thankfull for a understanding boss but should you not repay him for his kindness by being more mature in handling your home affairs, knowing that u still have this job because of him? -
think urself..wad would be the last thing they would hope to see?the closing down of business,isn't it?Originally posted by MiX Metal:this has been bugging me for months.....
My Sis and my mum has started a business together a few months ago ..... the thing is, they are both short temper and will always have conflicts on how the business should be run.
normally that would not be a bad thing, but because both are unwilling to compromise or even try out other suggestion...... that leads to them shouting at each other and passing harsh remarks hurting each other's feelings and I'll always be put in the middle of them playing the peace maker's roll ......
this is draining me metally ..... i dun wan to take sides as no matter which side i choose or wat i say ..... the other party will feel that i am ganging up with the other against her ...... I'm going into a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN !!! its affecting my work .....
Advise needed !!!
use exactly it to deal with the situation.the moment they quarrel next time,tell them most seriously(disappointed would be good..) that since everyone is so unhappy abt each other's ideas,it's time to stop the business.there's no point to carry on the family business when they are quarrelling,isn't it?harmony breeds wealth.please,do not be afraid to speak up and tell them that.
it's time to nip the bud now before the problem grows bigger.
ask them whether they gave regards to ur feelings too.didn't u say u had to play peacemaker all the time?
somehow,i can't help but feel that ur the type that keeps things to urself and fear to let others know abt ur inner thoughts.
my advice is,don't juz keep them to urself.
tell them exactly how u feel. -
i suggest u tell them the story of the bundled arrows...
united we stand, divided we fall