parents who are dying to pick a fight
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there are 2 incidents actually. but only talk abt the 2nd one which happened today.
we loaded up the car with the groceries and separated the cold stuffs from the rest to put in the styrofoam box. in my haste i just grabbed the remaining 2 bags and placed it in the box because my mum always complained us being slow.
then she started to ramble abt it and i just ignored her nagging. i even ignored her when she poked fun at me by asking me when will i fly the coop since my counsellor noticed and supported my intentions to break free frm them.
then after that she turned personal and attacked me for being unable to anything and the frequent family quarrels. i was furious not because she said those things but it is obvious she used the groceries as an excuse to scold me abt those stuffs and screamed at me for inciting the quarrel. especially when it's obvious she started to raise her voice at me while i was keeping quiet abt her nagging of the groceries earlier.
i said she was just trying to get an excuse to scream those things at me and the groceries happened to handy. she deliberately raised her voice on the groceries issue and linked very remote events to it.
she shouted at me and said i loved to incite quarrels with her and she said i was insane and couldnt think logically when she started the quarrels.
though she always claims to a listening ear, she once screamed at me and told me i was harrassing her and repeatedly told me to go and die.
sometimes i try to remember how they quarrel because i want to know how to respond to the situation, but there are times where i am just too tired to do so, trying to argue them bent on creating a heating quarrel. -
haiz... we are in the same boat... they always take advantadge
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if this is really what u say, this sounds extreme to me.Originally posted by bismarck:there are 2 incidents actually. but only talk abt the 2nd one which happened today.
we loaded up the car with the groceries and separated the cold stuffs from the rest to put in the styrofoam box. in my haste i just grabbed the remaining 2 bags and placed it in the box because my mum always complained us being slow.
then she started to ramble abt it and i just ignored her nagging. i even ignored her when she poked fun at me by asking me when will i fly the coop since my counsellor noticed and supported my intentions to break free frm them.
then after that she turned personal and attacked me for being unable to anything and the frequent family quarrels. i was furious not because she said those things but it is obvious she used the groceries as an excuse to scold me abt those stuffs and screamed at me for inciting the quarrel. especially when it's obvious she started to raise her voice at me while i was keeping quiet abt her nagging of the groceries earlier.
i said she was just trying to get an excuse to scream those things at me and the groceries happened to handy. she deliberately raised her voice on the groceries issue and linked very remote events to it.
she shouted at me and said i loved to incite quarrels with her and she said i was insane and couldnt think logically when she started the quarrels.
though she always claims to a listening ear, she once screamed at me and told me i was harrassing her and repeatedly told me to go and die.
sometimes i try to remember how they quarrel because i want to know how to respond to the situation, but there are times where i am just too tired to do so, trying to argue them bent on creating a heating quarrel.
if she is really so unrational, for a short term measure, my suggestion is not to speak to her for 2 weeks, minimise seeing her, try to get home late until u know shes asleep. and avoid going out with her. and see whats her reaction?
at the same time, talk to ur dad about it. and see what he says. she might have some problems u dun know about. i always believe in looking at the core of the problem then think of a solution~ u want a long term measure.. nto a short one.. -
It might be sad, but I feel that nothing much can be done. After all, how long has your parents been like that? I don't think that you can change someone who has been like that for years over a short time.
I guess you're already sick of it, so maybe get used to it and things will seem better =) My advice might not seem constructive, but my thoughts are that if you cannot change others,change yourself. -
spot on, i am used to it to be exact. doesnt seem to bother me as much as before.Originally posted by aRcTiC_sTaR:It might be sad, but I feel that nothing much can be done. After all, how long has your parents been like that? I don't think that you can change someone who has been like that for years over a short time.
I guess you're already sick of it, so maybe get used to it and things will seem better =) My advice might not seem constructive, but my thoughts are that if you cannot change others,change yourself.
i wonder how to change myself in face of clearly delusional and irrational mother?
she ? call my camp and say i AWOL if i go abck late. and tell my counsellor i am talking to myself.Originally posted by binZ:if this is really what u say, this sounds extreme to me.
if she is really so unrational, for a short term measure, my suggestion is not to speak to her for 2 weeks, minimise seeing her, try to get home late until u know shes asleep. and avoid going out with her. and see whats her reaction?
at the same time, talk to ur dad about it. and see what he says. she might have some problems u dun know about. i always believe in looking at the core of the problem then think of a solution~ u want a long term measure.. nto a short one..
my dad behaves exactly like her. bloody clones of each other. -
If you are old enough to make a living of your own, why dont you move out?
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This was suggested...but no answer.Originally posted by klishcia:If you are old enough to make a living of your own, why dont you move out?
Let's see if he'll answer this time.
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i am in NS...how the fark to get that moneyOriginally posted by klishcia:If you are old enough to make a living of your own, why dont you move out?
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wat counsellor?
it seems that u always post topics on family fights. -
well 30secs ago, my mum walked into my room trying to pick a fight again.Originally posted by browniebaobao:wat counsellor?
it seems that u always post topics on family fights.
taunted me to tell my counsellor how i treated her, but no mention of how they treated me.
just because i didnt want to respond to her when she picked a fight, she accused me of being insane and addicted to the com. -
How old are you now bismarck?Originally posted by bismarck:well 30secs ago, my mum walked into my room trying to pick a fight again.
taunted me to tell my counsellor how i treated her, but no mention of how they treated me.
just because i didnt want to respond to her when she picked a fight, she accused me of being insane and addicted to the com.
From the many posts you've made since the past till today... I can tell your family is really imposing quite a disturbance to you (at least in your opinion)?
Personally... I think you should spend much time in cultivating yourself... Not meaning that you're no good or the problem lies with you... But if you continue to let them bother you too much (at least mentally?)... It might just have quite an adverse effect on you in the future...?