Friendship
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I was in the same class with L in primary 6. We weren't really close, just aquintances. We did not keep in contact after PSLE but a few years later(in sec sch), we went out once in a while with 2 other friends.
We went to different sec sch and JC, and I stayed over at his house for a few times to study for my A levels.
We saw lesser and lesser and each other during our NS.
But now in Uni, we take similar courses under the same department. He stays in the Hall but I don't. Both of us made many new friends.
He converted to christianity a few months ago. Don't be mistaken, I have nothing against christians, but somehow I feel that our beliefs and goals start to differ. I am very hardworking but he tries to be more sociable, well maybe not, I don't know what he has been occupied with, but he spends alot of time with church stuff I guess.
I hang out with a few female classmates in school, and he has tried to approach my friends when I wasnt around, introduced himself and tried to make friends. My friends found him weird.
He's been wanting to have a class gathering, but since my term tests are next week, I told him to leave me alone till after my term tests. On Friday twelve midnight, he called me, waking me up from my sleep, and very pissed, i picked up when the phone rang the second time. I told him I am sleeping already and we hung up. Then, he SMSed me. I can't remember what he said - I deleted it and I don't care.
Saturday, I spend the whole day studying. He kept calling and calling and calling for the whole day, which is very disturbing. I told anyone who picks up the house phone to tell him that I am not at home.
He wants to study together and asks me to help him with his schoolwork. But I can't even cope with mine, how am I supposed to help him? Furthermore, the correct person to approach for help will be lecturers/tutors.
Today(Sunday), he keeps calling again, so I switched off my phone. I am very pissed.
He does not understand that we are drifting apart because our interests and our goals differ. I do not want to waste my time on him but I don't know what I should do now. Saying it directly to him will be too hurting, but if I don't, he just keeps pestering me. Even if he knows how I feel, he may not leave me alone. What should I do? -
You can probably sms him the direct link to this post page and tell him to read an interesting but true story that's troubling you. Remember to ask him to help you out.
It's a quick and easy way to let him know how you feel about this friendship and him. There's bound to be pain..and pain is almost everywhere. He's eventually going to get hurt one way or the other in the future...so let you be the person who will inflict this pain to him for his own good rather than another person who might deal him a heavier blow.
Remember, you can't change him for who he is and was. You can only advise him and help him to achieve his own self-realisation and hope that he will one day benefit from what you have put in and up for him.
Good luck. -
Hmmm......Saying it directly would hurt his feelings......
Then you should probably go on living with this problem, maybe forever, and hope that someday it will go away. -
When you're busy, just tell him that you're busy?Originally posted by crazyidiot_84:I was in the same class with L in primary 6. We weren't really close, just aquintances. We did not keep in contact after PSLE but a few years later(in sec sch), we went out once in a while with 2 other friends.
We went to different sec sch and JC, and I stayed over at his house for a few times to study for my A levels.
We saw lesser and lesser and each other during our NS.
But now in Uni, we take similar courses under the same department. He stays in the Hall but I don't. Both of us made many new friends.
He converted to christianity a few months ago. Don't be mistaken, I have nothing against christians, but somehow I feel that our beliefs and goals start to differ. I am very hardworking but he tries to be more sociable, well maybe not, I don't know what he has been occupied with, but he spends alot of time with church stuff I guess.
I hang out with a few female classmates in school, and he has tried to approach my friends when I wasnt around, introduced himself and tried to make friends. My friends found him weird.
He's been wanting to have a class gathering, but since my term tests are next week, I told him to leave me alone till after my term tests. On Friday twelve midnight, he called me, waking me up from my sleep, and very pissed, i picked up when the phone rang the second time. I told him I am sleeping already and we hung up. Then, he SMSed me. I can't remember what he said - I deleted it and I don't care.
Saturday, I spend the whole day studying. He kept calling and calling and calling for the whole day, which is very disturbing. I told anyone who picks up the house phone to tell him that I am not at home.
He wants to study together and asks me to help him with his schoolwork. But I can't even cope with mine, how am I supposed to help him? Furthermore, the correct person to approach for help will be lecturers/tutors.
Today(Sunday), he keeps calling again, so I switched off my phone. I am very pissed.
He does not understand that we are drifting apart because our interests and our goals differ. I do not want to waste my time on him but I don't know what I should do now. Saying it directly to him will be too hurting, but if I don't, he just keeps pestering me. Even if he knows how I feel, he may not leave me alone. What should I do? -
it's rude to hang up the phone on somebody.
if u dun wana help him, juz say so. Dun need to give pple that kind of stupid attitude. -
Thanks parn, Parka and Devil1976 for the advice... I hope the problem will slowly go away...
By the way, I am not here to learn basic manners of speaking over the phone... And I said "we hung up", not "i hung up the phone on him".
I met L in school today and told him I was very irritated. He stopped his phone calls already. Thanks people... -
Studying together isn't really about helping each other for homework. Studying together is for mutual support. When one of you feel like giving up to study a particular topic, you can encourage each other. I don't think he's absolutely ignorant that you are not coping well.Originally posted by crazyidiot_84:He wants to study together and asks me to help him with his schoolwork. But I can't even cope with mine, how am I supposed to help him? Furthermore, the correct person to approach for help will be lecturers/tutors. -
wow, this is rather scary to a certain extent, rather pesky i'd say
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i agree, just tell him straight that hes irritating you. if he cant handle the truth, he needs some serious counselling.Originally posted by browniebaobao:it's rude to hang up the phone on somebody.
if u dun wana help him, juz say so. Dun need to give pple that kind of stupid attitude.