I think since your son's pretty young now, there really isn't much wrong with her taking care of him closely for now...Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:IÂ’m quite lost, and I try my best to get my message and query across. I donÂ’t expect to have too much return questions, but would be glad to see some advice or solution here.
I have a foreign wife from HK and a 18mth-old son born in SG. MY wife, a PR, has been staying in SG for the about 3 years. Occasionally, returns to HK for short trip from 2 wks to a month. She is a housewife and has never worked, since she is in SG.
IÂ’m the only one who brings in the household income, and it has been tough throughout the years. IÂ’m afraid will the situation and pressure will get tougher as the year goes by. I do not have high income, though IÂ’m taking care of my family. Financially is just enough in a family, with some saving for my sonÂ’s education. I feel so lucky that my old flat was inherited from my parent; therefore, I no need to pay monthly montage. We have the intention to buy a new bigger flat in near future, but I have a concern that potentially boiling up, as time flies. It affects my relationship, my son growth development, my possession and my responsibility.
I have ask my wife to look for a simple job with low responsibility, however, my wife cannot accept the fact of SG low-wages works and is not been willing work. I have explain to her that the purpose may not necessarily to be high paid, but to get some exposure to SG society, widen circle of life, develop a sense of belonging and commitment in the family. Beside this, I did explain that it also help to rid out idleness and stagnant life in SG. Yet, she still doesnÂ’t understand and insist to be a housewife, and take care of my son.
I have never object to her as being a housewife and caring my son full-time, and I do thank her for that help too. But if she going to remain in this status, IÂ’m afraid that we are not able to move-on further with a common goal.
She is active and vibrant, but stubbornness and arrogant attitude has developed since young, while living in HK. So her expectation has been high. Living in a fast-pace environment, it is foresee that she may end-up to become those 'Singapore aunties and housewives' whose ages between 45 to 65.
-- 1st concern, my wife
How can I change her negative attitude, and make her to have a sense of belonging and responsibility in SG? I need her to work and provide some financial support eventually.
--> 2nd concern, my son
She has spend most of her time caring my son, thus, it has create a strong bonding and possession to her. She has never trust anyone to take care of my son, not even my brothers' family or even for a few hours not seeing my son. As any children look towards their parents as leaders and living-examples in life, and IÂ’m afraid that her stubbornness and arrogant attitude may instill to my son when he grow up. Unknowingly, this negative attitude may repeat, like say, 20 years later. How should I avoid this negative development to my child? IÂ’m bearing the responsibility to educate my son well.
-- 3rd concern, the future
The message now has not been getting into her. So the slower she is reacting to environment changes, the slower we may not be able to move-on to a new flat. As a matter of fact, her pride and resistant may develop into impulsive acts. Such as divorce, return to HK with my son and not looking back. Do understand that HK is her homeland, meaning a place where she feels lots of confidence and comfortable. How can I secure my future.
Pls help and advise.![]()
ur concerns on ur wife should be solve directly telling her of the financial concerns abt the family... tell her if she dun get a job wat will happen... let her get a view of the picture u see... if she still react this way then maybe intro some friends to her probably they can help her adapt to sg life... most imptly is let her know more friends here or take her to some socio dinners so she might find some group she can fit in to...Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:IÂ’m quite lost, and I try my best to get my message and query across. I donÂ’t expect to have too much return questions, but would be glad to see some advice or solution here.
I have a foreign wife from HK and a 18mth-old son born in SG. MY wife, a PR, has been staying in SG for the about 3 years. Occasionally, returns to HK for short trip from 2 wks to a month. She is a housewife and has never worked, since she is in SG.
IÂ’m the only one who brings in the household income, and it has been tough throughout the years. IÂ’m afraid will the situation and pressure will get tougher as the year goes by. I do not have high income, though IÂ’m taking care of my family. Financially is just enough in a family, with some saving for my sonÂ’s education. I feel so lucky that my old flat was inherited from my parent; therefore, I no need to pay monthly montage. We have the intention to buy a new bigger flat in near future, but I have a concern that potentially boiling up, as time flies. It affects my relationship, my son growth development, my possession and my responsibility.
I have ask my wife to look for a simple job with low responsibility, however, my wife cannot accept the fact of SG low-wages works and is not been willing work. I have explain to her that the purpose may not necessarily to be high paid, but to get some exposure to SG society, widen circle of life, develop a sense of belonging and commitment in the family. Beside this, I did explain that it also help to rid out idleness and stagnant life in SG. Yet, she still doesnÂ’t understand and insist to be a housewife, and take care of my son.
I have never object to her as being a housewife and caring my son full-time, and I do thank her for that help too. But if she going to remain in this status, IÂ’m afraid that we are not able to move-on further with a common goal.
She is active and vibrant, but stubbornness and arrogant attitude has developed since young, while living in HK. So her expectation has been high. Living in a fast-pace environment, it is foresee that she may end-up to become those 'Singapore aunties and housewives' whose ages between 45 to 65.
-- 1st concern, my wife
How can I change her negative attitude, and make her to have a sense of belonging and responsibility in SG? I need her to work and provide some financial support eventually.
--> 2nd concern, my son
She has spend most of her time caring my son, thus, it has create a strong bonding and possession to her. She has never trust anyone to take care of my son, not even my brothers' family or even for a few hours not seeing my son. As any children look towards their parents as leaders and living-examples in life, and IÂ’m afraid that her stubbornness and arrogant attitude may instill to my son when he grow up. Unknowingly, this negative attitude may repeat, like say, 20 years later. How should I avoid this negative development to my child? IÂ’m bearing the responsibility to educate my son well.
-- 3rd concern, the future
The message now has not been getting into her. So the slower she is reacting to environment changes, the slower we may not be able to move-on to a new flat. As a matter of fact, her pride and resistant may develop into impulsive acts. Such as divorce, return to HK with my son and not looking back. Do understand that HK is her homeland, meaning a place where she feels lots of confidence and comfortable. How can I secure my future.
Pls help and advise.![]()
How about some family counselling...?Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:thanks for the advice.
What is CSC?
How should I reply, if she say arrogantly, "I can work in HK, why dont you look for a job in HK too? We can have better household income over there..."
One of the fact that I dont follow her to HK is because, her dominating attitude has not give me an assurance of my position of existence there.
What if she override me? What if she dont return to SG after a 2 years of work there? Many concerns that i cannot spell out at once..
like tat go stay in hk wif her lo... not a bad place la...Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:thanks for the advice.
What is CSC?
How should I reply, if she say arrogantly, "I can work in HK, why dont you look for a job in HK too? We can have better household income over there..."
One of the fact that I dont follow her to HK is because, her dominating attitude has not give me an assurance of my position of existence there.
What if she override me? What if she dont return to SG after a 2 years of work there? Many concerns that i cannot spell out at once..
Hi,Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:IÂ’m quite lost, and I try my best to get my message and query across. I donÂ’t expect to have too much return questions, but would be glad to see some advice or solution here.
I have a foreign wife from HK and a 18mth-old son born in SG. MY wife, a PR, has been staying in SG for the about 3 years. Occasionally, returns to HK for short trip from 2 wks to a month. She is a housewife and has never worked, since she is in SG.
IÂ’m the only one who brings in the household income, and it has been tough throughout the years. IÂ’m afraid will the situation and pressure will get tougher as the year goes by. I do not have high income, though IÂ’m taking care of my family. Financially is just enough in a family, with some saving for my sonÂ’s education. I feel so lucky that my old flat was inherited from my parent; therefore, I no need to pay monthly montage. We have the intention to buy a new bigger flat in near future, but I have a concern that potentially boiling up, as time flies. It affects my relationship, my son growth development, my possession and my responsibility.
I have ask my wife to look for a simple job with low responsibility, however, my wife cannot accept the fact of SG low-wages works and is not been willing work. I have explain to her that the purpose may not necessarily to be high paid, but to get some exposure to SG society, widen circle of life, develop a sense of belonging and commitment in the family. Beside this, I did explain that it also help to rid out idleness and stagnant life in SG. Yet, she still doesnÂ’t understand and insist to be a housewife, and take care of my son.
I have never object to her as being a housewife and caring my son full-time, and I do thank her for that help too. But if she going to remain in this status, IÂ’m afraid that we are not able to move-on further with a common goal.
She is active and vibrant, but stubbornness and arrogant attitude has developed since young, while living in HK. So her expectation has been high. Living in a fast-pace environment, it is foresee that she may end-up to become those 'Singapore aunties and housewives' whose ages between 45 to 65.
-- 1st concern, my wife
How can I change her negative attitude, and make her to have a sense of belonging and responsibility in SG? I need her to work and provide some financial support eventually.
--> 2nd concern, my son
She has spend most of her time caring my son, thus, it has create a strong bonding and possession to her. She has never trust anyone to take care of my son, not even my brothers' family or even for a few hours not seeing my son. As any children look towards their parents as leaders and living-examples in life, and IÂ’m afraid that her stubbornness and arrogant attitude may instill to my son when he grow up. Unknowingly, this negative attitude may repeat, like say, 20 years later. How should I avoid this negative development to my child? IÂ’m bearing the responsibility to educate my son well.
-- 3rd concern, the future
The message now has not been getting into her. So the slower she is reacting to environment changes, the slower we may not be able to move-on to a new flat. As a matter of fact, her pride and resistant may develop into impulsive acts. Such as divorce, return to HK with my son and not looking back. Do understand that HK is her homeland, meaning a place where she feels lots of confidence and comfortable. How can I secure my future.
Pls help and advise.![]()
Hi, I do not mean to be rude, but have you considered the possibility that while you may think that she is domineering, IMHO, you sound rather domineering as well? What position within the household do you need?Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:thanks for the advice.
What is CSC?
How should I reply, if she say arrogantly, "I can work in HK, why dont you look for a job in HK too? We can have better household income over there..."
One of the fact that I dont follow her to HK is because, her dominating attitude has not give me an assurance of my position of existence there.
What if she override me? What if she dont return to SG after a 2 years of work there? Many concerns that i cannot spell out at once..
Search engines to look for job seek sites... Should have plenty...Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:Thanks for the reply and advices. I should have consider working in hongkong, probably for the next few years..its 'seriously' working there.
anyone here can provide some source for searching jobs in HK? Such as online jobdb.com.
Originally posted by one-n-only-working-man:IÂ’m quite lost, and I try my best to get my message and query across. I donÂ’t expect to have too much return questions, but would be glad to see some advice or solution here.
I have a foreign wife from HK and a 18mth-old son born in SG. MY wife, a PR, has been staying in SG for the about 3 years. Occasionally, returns to HK for short trip from 2 wks to a month. She is a housewife and has never worked, since she is in SG.
IÂ’m the only one who brings in the household income, and it has been tough throughout the years. IÂ’m afraid will the situation and pressure will get tougher as the year goes by. I do not have high income, though IÂ’m taking care of my family. Financially is just enough in a family, with some saving for my sonÂ’s education. I feel so lucky that my old flat was inherited from my parent; therefore, I no need to pay monthly montage. We have the intention to buy a new bigger flat in near future, but I have a concern that potentially boiling up, as time flies. It affects my relationship, my son growth development, my possession and my responsibility.
I have ask my wife to look for a simple job with low responsibility, however, my wife cannot accept the fact of SG low-wages works and is not been willing work. I have explain to her that the purpose may not necessarily to be high paid, but to get some exposure to SG society, widen circle of life, develop a sense of belonging and commitment in the family. Beside this, I did explain that it also help to rid out idleness and stagnant life in SG. Yet, she still doesnÂ’t understand and insist to be a housewife, and take care of my son.
I have never object to her as being a housewife and caring my son full-time, and I do thank her for that help too. But if she going to remain in this status, IÂ’m afraid that we are not able to move-on further with a common goal.
She is active and vibrant, but stubbornness and arrogant attitude has developed since young, while living in HK. So her expectation has been high. Living in a fast-pace environment, it is foresee that she may end-up to become those 'Singapore aunties and housewives' whose ages between 45 to 65.
-- 1st concern, my wife
How can I change her negative attitude, and make her to have a sense of belonging and responsibility in SG? I need her to work and provide some financial support eventually.
--> 2nd concern, my son
She has spend most of her time caring my son, thus, it has create a strong bonding and possession to her. She has never trust anyone to take care of my son, not even my brothers' family or even for a few hours not seeing my son. As any children look towards their parents as leaders and living-examples in life, and IÂ’m afraid that her stubbornness and arrogant attitude may instill to my son when he grow up. Unknowingly, this negative attitude may repeat, like say, 20 years later. How should I avoid this negative development to my child? IÂ’m bearing the responsibility to educate my son well.
-- 3rd concern, the future
The message now has not been getting into her. So the slower she is reacting to environment changes, the slower we may not be able to move-on to a new flat. As a matter of fact, her pride and resistant may develop into impulsive acts. Such as divorce, return to HK with my son and not looking back. Do understand that HK is her homeland, meaning a place where she feels lots of confidence and comfortable. How can I secure my future.
Pls help and advise.![]()