am i wrong?
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oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf..
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There's always a first.
First cut is the deepest.
Let time heal your wound.
Meanwhile, don't brood too much over it. I've come to realise that thinking too much over such things don't help. You can't control such things as well, so just let it be natural. -
so do u think i should contac ther still? kinda like i dun wan to contact her.. but alway sthink about her n wishes she will contact me.. n also wish she dun contac tme..haiz..Originally posted by aRcTiC_sTaR:There's always a first.
First cut is the deepest.
Let time heal your wound.
Meanwhile, don't brood too much over it. I've come to realise that thinking too much over such things don't help. You can't control such things as well, so just let it be natural.
anyway i m real glad to haf broken off.. cause i realise tat she will not go thru thick n thin with me. she just wants a gd life n does not wanna suffer which i feel is impossible in life. anyway all the best to her.. -
well, i feel that your ex-gf is like a social butterfly. i also agree that she suddenly contacted you because shes jealous. i'd never like such a scheming gf because god knows what she might do to get what she wants. she sounds rather crafty as well. thats just my opinion.Originally posted by bravo82:so do u think i should contac ther still? kinda like i dun wan to contact her.. but alway sthink about her n wishes she will contact me.. n also wish she dun contac tme..haiz..
anyway i m real glad to haf broken off.. cause i realise tat she will not go thru thick n thin with me. she just wants a gd life n does not wanna suffer which i feel is impossible in life. anyway all the best to her.. -
Originally posted by bravo82:oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf..
You still do love her, however a part of you wants to stop being confused by her, knowing that you will fall into the vicious cycle. Your logical reasoning remind to stop patronising her.Originally posted by bravo82:so do u think i should contac ther still? kinda like i dun wan to contact her.. but alway sthink about her n wishes she will contact me.. n also wish she dun contac tme..haiz..
anyway i m real glad to haf broken off.. cause i realise tat she will not go thru thick n thin with me. she just wants a gd life n does not wanna suffer which i feel is impossible in life. anyway all the best to her..
You find no good reason to reject her phone calls or even to avoid her, and the good reason to open yourself to her advances is because you still have feelings for her.
She might still have feelings for you, she might want to prevent you from moving on before she does.
No matter what the reason is. It is human to want security, she desire to have the feeling of someone still caring for her and loving her, yet not being committed.
This is a 'feel good' factor which most of us will desire to have, until we've moved on...otherwise, it is good to have someone supporting/catching you from behind in case we fall.
Of cos, she know that you will always stay by her side and she know she could confuse you. Rather intelligent girl.
You didn't want to contact her because of ego and having fear of getting confuse and hurt. (Just in case you couldn't control yourself and want to patch up again) yet you also sub consciously desire to 'feel good'. If she have moved on before you do, you might find it hard to swallow.
The Hot and Cold effect might have left you in peril.
How long do you think you can struggle?
Let your logical side guide you this time.
Cheers -
very well put, was thinking along the lines but i just couldnt express my thoughts.Originally posted by M©+square:You still do love her, however a part of you wants to stop being confused by her, knowing that you will fall into the vicious cycle. Your logical reasoning remind to stop patronising her.
You find no good reason to reject her phone calls or even to avoid her, and the good reason to open yourself to her advances is because you still have feelings for her.
She might still have feelings for you, she might want to prevent you from moving on before she does.
No matter what the reason is. It is human to want security, she desire to have the feeling of someone still caring for her and loving her, yet not being committed.
This is a 'feel good' factor which most of us will desire to have, until we've moved on...otherwise, it is good to have someone supporting/catching you from behind in case we fall.
Of cos, she know that you will always stay by her side and she know she could confuse you. Rather intelligent girl.
You didn't want to contact her because of ego and having fear of getting confuse and hurt. (Just in case you couldn't control yourself and want to patch up again) yet you also sub consciously desire to 'feel good'. If she have moved on before you do, you might find it hard to swallow.
The Hot and Cold effect might have left you in peril. How long do you think you can struggle?
Let your logical side guide you this time.
Cheers
i find her intelligence an insecurity for me if i was the threadstarter -
wat's the cause of the break up?
she was juz playing with u or wat?
she feels upset probably bcos she knows u love her, and dun expect u to know girls so fast.. maybe she's juz used to having u around, she wants ur attention despite the fact that both of u have broke up. -
/PatzOriginally posted by bravo82:so do u think i should contac ther still? kinda like i dun wan to contact her.. but alway sthink about her n wishes she will contact me.. n also wish she dun contac tme..haiz..
anyway i m real glad to haf broken off.. cause i realise tat she will not go thru thick n thin with me. she just wants a gd life n does not wanna suffer which i feel is impossible in life. anyway all the best to her..
Since you've already made your decision, why brood over things..? -
breakup due to my mum.. anyway if u wana know further details..it's in another thread..dunno which one but recent thread oni.. just type my nick out.. heheOriginally posted by browniebaobao:wat's the cause of the break up?
she was juz playing with u or wat?
she feels upset probably bcos she knows u love her, and dun expect u to know girls so fast.. maybe she's juz used to having u around, she wants ur attention despite the fact that both of u have broke up. -
Still in vulnerable state.
Subject to changes.
Cheers
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i think u subconciously trying to kek her.. well. thats what i think. I think u know what i am talking about.
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oh ya.. now then u mention.. i remember.Originally posted by bravo82:breakup due to my mum.. anyway if u wana know further details..it's in another thread..dunno which one but recent thread oni.. just type my nick out.. hehe
paisei.. memory not v gd lately.
u feel sorry towards her bcos ur mum had not been treating her well. -
Do a clean cut nothing is better then a clean one.Originally posted by bravo82:oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf..
How can you explain to your new love when she asked you why are you still contacting your ex?
you must learn to be strong and tell her enough is enough. Sometimes you have to be the man and end it once and for all. It hurts but is better to hurt her lightly now then hurt her painfully later. -
continue with moving on and jz b her friend... let her know ur concerns abt toking on the fone... she go berserk jz let her be...
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Never take the breakup too personally. Love is like war. In war, you never feel sorry for the enemy. Just think of it this way: Will she feel sorry for you? She only cares about herself!Originally posted by bravo82:oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf.. -
how can u say that?Originally posted by dokono:Never take the breakup too personally. Love is like war. In war, you never feel sorry for the enemy. Just think of it this way: Will she feel sorry for you? She only cares about herself!
u mean the girl is his enemy?
ur ex is ur enemy? maybe u had been hurt before, but that's not the way to put it. -
Dun get me wrong here. Im not asking him to treat his ex really like an enemy. As soon as the relationship is over, it's time to move on.Originally posted by browniebaobao:how can u say that?
u mean the girl is his enemy?
ur ex is ur enemy? maybe u had been hurt before, but that's not the way to put it.
im just telling him not to take the breakup too personally. If not he will feel so hurt. He needs to care about his own feelings as well. -
Yeah i agree with what you posted.Originally posted by dokono:Dun get me wrong here. Im not asking him to treat his ex really like an enemy. As soon as the relationship is over, it's time to move on.
im just telling him not to take the breakup too personally. If not he will feel so hurt. He needs to care about his own feelings as well.
But breakup is personal afterall.
Just don't take it too hard, or don't blame it all onto yourselve.
i suppose that's what you're trying to present. -
i had been calling for u in sb and u are hiding here?Originally posted by M©+square:Yeah i agree with what you posted.
But breakup is personal afterall.
Just don't take it too hard, or don't blame it all onto yourselve.
i suppose that's what you're trying to present.
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Me no habit of chatting in SB.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i had been calling for u in sb and u are hiding here? 
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thanks for clearing things up..but maybe my analogy seems too harsh. But it's better to face reality. Many guys i know seem to take rejections very personally-and that includes breakups.Originally posted by M©+square:Yeah i agree with what you posted.
But breakup is personal afterall.
Just don't take it too hard, or don't blame it all onto yourselve.
i suppose that's what you're trying to present.
The point is this: if u take rejection to heart, you are never going to move on and find the right gal for u. That's what successful guys do right? Pls note that im not against gals or anything. In fact in the game of love rejections should be taken with grace.
My two cents.
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i got the same feeling as u..its the hot and cold effect as mention in the previous post. i agree totally(kinda). some girls are just playing around. Maybe she regreted wad she had done and really wanna have a serious r/s with u this time and wanna patch back with u? -
Originally posted by bravo82:oh dear..dunno i do wrong or not.. but u see my gf broke up with me some time ago..abt 3 weeks ago. its she who wanted to break up citing several reasons. and i decided to let things go. now almost once every 2-3 days she will call me to chat n sms me. when i tried patching back she said just frenz oni.. so i was like 'ok..just frenz"
then when she find out i haf been widening my social circle..meeting with other gals..guys..ex schmates bla bla.. she gets real upset that i am moving on maybe?
n today on valentine's day she msgs me saying that she watching movie alone...feeling weird tt kind of thing . then now she just came bk ard 2am..n she called n told me what she did etc. then i just kept quiet as i just woke up. she the nask if i got anything to say so i was like "nothing much to say .. last time can just cook up anything to chat with u..but now since tt breakup i haf nothing to say to u" with that she got offended n put down the fone n say wont contact me again. in a way i feel sad coz i dun want her to NOT contact me.. just hate it when she always ask me if i got nothing to say when she calls me up. come on la.. u call me then u end up sking me if i got nothing to say? n i just spoke to u 8 hrs ago!! hw to everytime tok?
so i told her that i cant just go abt calling any fren up n toking to them when she asked me y i never call her bla bla. with this she got offended n put the fone down.
yes i do love her alot.. but seems like we will not be together ever again. well.. i wont accept her even if she wanna come back though i do love her still. so i m trying real hard to move on u know. n here she is always making me confused. just wanna know did i hurt her real bad by saying all those un-wise comments? she is the one who is always wanting to break up in all her relationships n i was the latest. n now this kinda unexpected behaviour from her? i'm confused.. n i tot that i would be the one deeply affected as she has been my only gf.. 
There are couple of possibilities here, but the root of WHY this is happening... MCsquare made an accurate point regarding her needs to prevent you-from-moving-before-she does, so as to achieve the best of both world result with or without having a relationship.
I have always told my friends '... the best revenge is to move on faster than your ex...'
Which is exactly what is happening to you now.
You know about the negative herd mentality?
If I am not, you shall not be. I shall use an analogy below (Please don't debate with me over this issue because I am seeing this from ONE point of view and using that view as an analogy):
*** Know why the NS defaulter made such huge headline?
Because most have served their national liability and he managed to escape. All the disgruntlement is because he had managed to escape... with a small fine.
All the new heavier punishments are signs to reassure public '...don't worry, we are tightening up... so no one else could escape that easily... Everyone else will be the same...'
Negative herd mentality.
Would it have remove the hell and sacrifice you have gone through IF he was jailed... or even made to serve NS?
I am not saying that what he did was right; in the eyes of law, he wasn't.
And if we think carefully, is he the only one defaulting?
Of course not.
Would these defaulters endanger or risk national security due to under-maning or whatsoever... just because he didn't serve?
Of course not.
In percentage wise, is it a significant amount?
Of course not.
... But we just want him to be the same as us...
*** To move on is a sign of maturity from past lesson. We all have to move on some checkpoint in life because we have lost the reason to remain in them.
CloUdiSm final law of Love states '... Love is not forever...'
If we have several relationships in our life, logically how can all those love be forever?
In the end, we grow up from the 'non-forevers'.
Cheers -
it might seem that way, but once a gal breaks up with u...it's game over. This time it's her ego that's playin here, not true interest level. She needs someone to nurse her ego.Originally posted by ChairmanJay:i got the same feeling as u..its the hot and cold effect as mention in the previous post. i agree totally(kinda). some girls are just playing around. Maybe she regreted wad she had done and really wanna have a serious r/s with u this time and wanna patch back with u? -
move on. dun let her confuse you. she is just treating you like a 7-11 now.
bored then call you up to chat. dont let her twist you around her finger.
and never let her put down the phone on you again. teach her a lesson not to mess around with you. purposely dont pick up her calls or tell her to call sometimes later, your busy or sleeping right now.