Any suggestions?
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A friend of mine is now going through confusion and unstablity now.. Gonna share it with you guys..
He and his girlfriend loved each other very much. Their relationship lasted 4 months. There are frequent quarrels during those times face to face and in msn but nothing really blow up that sort.
Until last week, his gf's mum found out about the frequent quarrels and was very upset about it. Kind of angry.
So they have to separate and cool down.
However, the friend of mine and the girl loved each other very much and didn't expect it to happened like that. During the week of cool down, they met up secretly and clarify stuff that they will wait for each other no matter what.
Her mum objected her to meet my friend for a meal, going out that kind.
Hmm,what should my friend do to regain the trust of her mum OR what should my friend do?
Please help.. my friend is at a loss..Thanks alot.. -
Hmm...
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the mother needs help, which couple does not quarrel?
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rather than gaining her mum's trust,ur fren might as well continue to be with the ger..prove to her mum that he loves her daughter very much.
her mum might have deemed ur fren as "undesirable husband material."
alternatively,if ur fren really wishes to establish a gd r/s with her future mum-in-law,a dinner shld do fine.
by telling her in the eyes that the ger would be loved and well looked after, ur fren would have gained massive points. -
nice to see couple still bother about their parents approve or objection.
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New update:
My friend wanted to meet up personally with her mother to apologise and to assure her that he really likes her daughter very much and hope she could give him a chance.
Her mother knew about this through her daughter, but her mum says to her that it's no point meeting up, phone is good enough.
However, his gf told my friend now is not a good time to call her mother because her mother will sort of "flame and shoot" him.
My friend now is really at a loss.
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It's funny how your friend would think of having her mum to forgive him when he's even afraid of hearing her mum 'shoot & flame' him over the phone... So I personally think... Does he really deserves all those 'flamings'....?Originally posted by InSidiousGG:New update:
My friend wanted to meet up personally with her mother to apologise and to assure her that he really likes her daughter very much and hope she could give him a chance.
Her mother knew about this through her daughter, but her mum says to her that it's no point meeting up, phone is good enough.
However, his gf told my friend now is not a good time to call her mother because her mother will sort of "flame and shoot" him.
My friend now is really at a loss.
You mentioned that your friend and his gf have been having so much troubles before... So if not for her mum who is dissatisfied with things, would your friend and his gf still be having quarrels...? What are the reason(s) to their frequent quarrels btw...? Have the problems been solved already...? How old are they...? And one final question which I would appreciate your honesty... Are you the 'friend' you've mentioned in your story...? -
I think his gf told him about her mother's character that she will flame my friend. I am not that sure about it too.. So, he dun wanna take a step coz it might actually worsen the situation.
But he told me that most of the reasons of quarrels are trival and short lasting but at the end of the day, they will solve it.
And I am not the ''friend'' in my story..
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So have your friend previously know his gf's mum well...?Originally posted by InSidiousGG:I think his gf told him about her mother's character that she will flame my friend. I am not that sure about it too.. So, he dun wanna take a step coz it might actually worsen the situation.
But he told me that most of the reasons of quarrels are trival and short lasting but at the end of the day, they will solve it.
And I am not the ''friend'' in my story..
You still have not tell me their ages... -
is that gal in a single parent situation? bcos i dun see the dad in the pic.
i think the mum (parents) can advise but not to the extend of disallowing the relationship totally. she can advise that they still meet up, perhaps at home where she is around to supervise if she wants to make sure no 'harm' can come to her daughter etc. but to disallow them to meet up at all is a total disaster. both your friend and his GF might do something stupid under long term of suppression. (thinking too much?)
the other thing the gal should do is to at least defend why they are together in the first place. if the mum don't hear of how much she (the daughter) loves him or cares, then how in the world will the mum knows and even try to understand? perhaps, the mum is super protective of the daughter but it is still between the 2 of them (BGF). in short, the gal should stand up to what she believes is right and if she really loves the person, she will at least try to defend this love? yes? (this is part n parcel of growing up)
the guy on the other hand should be less quarrelsome. don't pick on a fight always. aim to have peace and resolve matters quietly, communicate at all levels. not easy but at least try.
apologising to the mum is good gesture but gaining trust is about taking time to understand what went wrong and improve in it. don't make the same mistakes...new ones are alright (we ain't perfect beings yet). learn from his mistakes and move on. be gracious.
apologising to his GF helps too. -
Opps.. My friend had some interactions with her mum i guess last time.. Not much though..Originally posted by Devil1976:So have your friend previously know his gf's mum well...?
You still have not tell me their ages...
They both around 19.. 20 next year..
Yeah, I can see over protection of her mother towards the daughter. But my friend and her can't do much except to meet secretly - continue the low profile relationship and take one step at a time.
Now I guess the problem for my friend is "How to regain trust of her mother without even making contact/interactions?"
I guess only time will heal.
Her dad doesn't bother about such stuff though.. He told me that her mum is usually the one more concern with relationships and blah.
I felt sad for my friend because some couples outside consist of cheating, betrayal.. My friend had only some trival quarrels and this happened to him. -
My question now... "How old are you?"Originally posted by InSidiousGG:Opps.. My friend had some interactions with her mum i guess last time.. Not much though..
They both around 19.. 20 next year..
Yeah, I can see over protection of her mother towards the daughter. But my friend and her can't do much except to meet secretly - continue the low profile relationship and take one step at a time.
Now I guess the problem for my friend is "How to regain trust of her mother without even making contact/interactions?"
I guess only time will heal.
Her dad doesn't bother about such stuff though.. He told me that her mum is usually the one more concern with relationships and blah.
I felt sad for my friend because some couples outside consist of cheating, betrayal.. My friend had only some trival quarrels and this happened to him.
The part I've highlighted in BLUE.... It's funny how he thinks that way.... Wanting something and yet not facing it.... In simple philosophy, how much is he willing to face for his love?
Not to belittle your friend, but 19-20 need not be a very adult age... How many relationships have he had previously...? And this relationship being only 4 months old, still got lots coming up...? Being in a 4 months old relationship and able to gain much attention of the gf's mum... Hmm... Around how old is her mum...? What is the gf's current occupation..? -
The sentence in blue is what I guess. Lol... sorry for the misunderstanding..Originally posted by Devil1976:My question now... "How old are you?"
The part I've highlighted in BLUE.... It's funny how he thinks that way.... Wanting something and yet not facing it.... In simple philosophy, how much is he willing to face for his love?
Not to belittle your friend, but 19-20 need not be a very adult age... How many relationships have he had previously...? And this relationship being only 4 months old, still got lots coming up...? Being in a 4 months old relationship and able to gain much attention of the gf's mum... Hmm... Around how old is her mum...? What is the gf's current occupation..?
I am not sure too.. I didn't know much about this. I just know until here that the frequent trival quarrels attracted her mother to get involved.. They all students in poly and I think her mother? around 40+.. I not sure.. -
Originally posted by InSidiousGG:
Hmm.. And just how do you expect us to give appropriate advice when there're so many things you're not quite sure of...? Then there'll be much little we'll learn about...?
The sentence in blue is [b]what I guess. Lol... sorry for the misunderstanding..
I am not sure too.. I didn't know much about this. I just know until here that the frequent trival quarrels attracted her mother to get involved.. They all students in poly and I think her mother? around 40+.. I not sure..[/b] -
Ouch!Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm.. And just how do you expect us to give appropriate advice when there're so many things you're not quite sure of...? Then there'll be much little we'll learn about...?
Dever draws his sword...
Cheers! Domo! -
Nay... I think if he's a friend, he might really wish to help... Just that his limited knowledge of the situation just further limits our ability to assess and assist... And often than not, dispersing inappropriate advices...Originally posted by M©+square:Ouch!
Dever draws his sword...
Cheers! Domo! -
I really wanna help him but I have only this amount of information..
Sorry for the trouble for everyone and Devil, thanks for concerning and taking time to post.
I guess he has to wait. -
i think ur friend shd just face up to his gf's mother..do it once and do it good..take whatever his gf's mother can throw at him and show her that he and his gf will still be together no matter what she says..
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Wait for what...?Originally posted by InSidiousGG:I really wanna help him but I have only this amount of information..
Sorry for the trouble for everyone and Devil, thanks for concerning and taking time to post.
I guess he has to wait.
The sky to drop ar....?
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Ok cool. I just heard that he went to talk things out with her mother and her mother say she would give him a chance, meanwhile be friends first.
Let fate decide and if meant to be together, then good.