Lost...
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My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.
However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.
I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem... -
the problem lies in u not having any feelings for him.. how can a relationship last when u hav no feelings for the other party..Originally posted by LOST19877:My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.
However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.
I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem...
the reason y u are with him now is jus becos of his crying in front of u.. -
the only question here is : do you have any feelings (love) for him?
once you have that answer, u know what you have to do -
But I can't leave him, he'll just come back and cry again. I can't bear to see him do that and what if he hurts my family?
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Originally posted by LOST19877:But I can't leave him, he'll just come back and cry again. I can't bear to see him do that and what if he hurts my family?
he will hurt ppl de? he gangster is it? -
the problem lies in your bf...he's been showing u all his insecurities---begging, crying u to be with him and all that...causing you to lose feelings for him. I mean, what kind of wimp is that? And to think that ''he doesnt dare to kiss or hug''Originally posted by LOST19877:My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.
However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.
I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem...
The problem is that u have accepted him when u learnt that he knows where u stay. U shdn't have, seriously. I bet if he knows u have no feelings whether now or initially, he will still be begging for ur affection. Tell him to stop being a wimp and maybe, maybe you might start to have feelings for him. Tell him to stop giving in to u sometimes. Tell him to make decisions himself sometimes. Tell him to stop crying and hug u more. -
No... but he needs me, his life is like worthless without me. You can see the blankness in him whenever I rejected him. He can do anything and everything for in a sweet way but who's to gurantee he won't hurt anyone because of me. Afterall, his life has no meaning without me.Originally posted by Qing^.^: he will hurt ppl de? he gangster is it? -
Your actions represent 1 in 1 million females in the word. Nver seen a female so kind and caring about someone elses feelings and emotions.Originally posted by LOST19877:No... but he needs me, his life is like worthless without me. You can see the blankness in him whenever I rejected him. He can do anything and everything for in a sweet way but who's to gurantee he won't hurt anyone because of me. Afterall, his life has no meaning without me.
Get a restraining order and then dump him. You are gonna suffer the repercussions of having him as your life's burden. One very fine day you'll meet a better man and fall for him. Then how are you going to drop your excess baggage? -
Duh... Order is useless... they can't protect her forever. And if he does decided to come back to kill her whole family who can stop him before its too late?Originally posted by nullifi3d:Your actions represent 1 in 1 million females in the word. Nver seen a female so kind and caring about someone elses feelings and emotions.
Get a restraining order and then dump him. You are gonna suffer the repercussions of having him as your life's burden. One very fine day you'll meet a better man and fall for him. Then how are you going to drop your excess baggage? -
sometimes it's best to be cruel. let him cry, let him wail, but do not soften up.Originally posted by LOST19877:But I can't leave him, he'll just come back and cry again. I can't bear to see him do that and what if he hurts my family?
my ex threatened to commit suicide (and did try) but I didn't budge. imagine wat would have happened if i went running back to him, I'll just have to start the cycle all over again. I called his bro instead and ask his bro to keep an eye on him.
sorrie to sound harsh, but there's no such thing as "his life is like worthless without me", he may say it, he may act like it,Originally posted by LOST19877:No... but he needs me, his life is like worthless without me. You can see the blankness in him whenever I rejected him. He can do anything and everything for in a sweet way but who's to gurantee he won't hurt anyone because of me. Afterall, his life has no meaning without me.
but this is the mourning period.... We humans came to this world alone, and eventually we will leave alone as well.
give him time, give him his buddies, and soon he'll be right as rain.
don't look back. we can't save everyone's feelings, we can't make everyone happy. if we try too much, we'll only make ourselves miserable! -
IS THIS THE LOST FORUM???
STUPID EXCUSE! U BLOODY GOT! -
.......Originally posted by smudgey:sometimes it's best to be cruel. let him cry, let him wail, but do not soften up.
my ex threatened to commit suicide (and did try) but I didn't budge. imagine wat would have happened if i went running back to him, I'll just have to start the cycle all over again. I called his bro instead and ask his bro to keep an eye on him.
what do you mean u afraid he'll hurt ur family? did he threatened? -
in my point of view, i didn't have a choice.Originally posted by nightsky87:.......
if I turn back, he'll only be more dependent. and it'll be even more difficult to let go in the future. -
hehe his life no meaning w/o u ah
no offense but yr ego seems a bit the big
but in any case u shldnt gove him up
it is better for someone to be in love with you than to be in love with someone who doesnt love you -
i agree.. someone threaten me like tat before.. i just walk off. u die, ur problem.. i dun like to be threatened. irregardless how i feel about anyone. i dun run around at anyone's beck and call deOriginally posted by smudgey:in my point of view, i didn't have a choice.
if I turn back, he'll only be more dependent. and it'll be even more difficult to let go in the future.
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Just tell him this "I'm sorry but I can't accept you. I like a guy who is confident and rich, I really hate a guy who cries in front of a girl just so to be girlfriend with him. It's really wimpy, you know? Please shape up a little. If you can make it to my requirements, I won't say no, ok? Oh, and I might hook up with someone else in the meantime so please hurry up and get rich." and walk away.
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actually, wat makes u think that he will hurt ur family?
he din even really touch u, how would he hurt ur family? are u feeling very insecure.. afraid that he will not be able to take it and resort to violence?
i think he rely on u too much ba.. maybe u cannot accept him coz he always cry in front of u when u reject him etc.. he could be giving u the impression that he is not a man. The feeling u gave me is that u sympathise with him, dun want to hurt him.. that's why u dare not have a clean break with him. You are touched by him, but u dun really love him, am i right? -
Just wise up to him of the fact that you do not love him. Period.Originally posted by LOST19877:My bf, I don't really have any feelings for him. Infact, we started out because he kept breaking down infront of me. He kept crying and crying and crying. My friends and I all know that he can't live without me. He kept coming back no matter how many times I rejected him. He even knows where I stay. I accepted him partly because I really didn't have the heart to reject him anymore and since he knew where I stay, he might hurt my family, afterall I meant everything to him, without me he is just a zombie. Besides, if he really hurt my family, calling the police won't do any good as the damage is already done.
However, he treats me really really really really well. He gives in to me everytime. He buys me everything I wants, brings me everywhere I want to go. He doesn't even dare hug or kiss me, he just holds my hand lightly. I can't bear to see him hurt. He's a really good guy except that he needs me. I am like part of him life. Everything he does, he does for me.
I really don't see the problem, but yet there's a problem...
Sorry to say, but this is the only way to make him come to his senses? U're suffering because u're FORCED to be his lover, unwillingly (or not). Regardless, I just think that that's not what he should do, and you should stand up for your view on the r/s.
No point getting urself hurt in the first place
And yes, I believe you're really kind, in considering his feelings before any moves are made
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to have a true long lasting r/s, one must learn when to hold tight and when its time to let go..
Instead of hurting the partner in future, you might want to end earlier to shorten the pain...
but b4 you do it, ask yourself whether you really have no feelings at all? i see some cases where the person who initiate ends up regreting..
good luck -
The terms "breaking up " is a tough choice to make for both parties whether it's one-sided , due to circumstances ...etc , it's never easy for the parties.
He shoul realize even they stay together , the one-sided affair , how long can it last ? But that is another problem which I should not drag about it.
For your case, I believe you should do what is right for yourself . I don't think you want to let the one-sided relationship drag on until it becomes worst. You have to put your foot down. Love is selfish and Love cannot be bought with money. Perhaps you can ask his best buddy ( if you can't talk him out ) to explain to him why they have to break up .(since he cannot accept your explanation) His stunts (crying ..etc) is being totally unfair for you , he doesn't even consider for you. Pretty immatured to me I must say . So for now , maybe you should explain to his best buddy . Get his best buddy and your best buddy ( 4 of you all meet up ) then you talk things over him . He has to get it over somehow .Don't give in to him anymore because the more you give in , the more he thinks he still has a chance to win you back. Remember this. Good luck to you.
All the best . -
He doesn't have close friends, he doesn't have a dream, all he has is me. All he looks forward to is me. He doesn't even have a life at all.
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so late not asleep yet?? cant sleep?Originally posted by LOST19877:He doesn't have close friends, he doesn't have a dream, all he has is me. All he looks forward to is me. He doesn't even have a life at all.
You can care for him as a friend since you lost the feelings as a couple.
Frankly speaking, will you want such guy to be your husband in future? One who keeps to himself and his world is around you only??
Probably you should tell him to open up abit..
Break the news to him gently, tell him what you are thinking now..Really, no point drag n drag n drag...dragy r/s will not last too long..one of you will suffer... -
Isn't it good that he loves me very much? How can I let such a guy down?Originally posted by darknessfall:so late not asleep yet?? cant sleep?
You can care for him as a friend since you lost the feelings as a couple.
Frankly speaking, will you want such guy to be your husband in future? One who keeps to himself and his world is around you only??
Probably you should tell him to open up abit..
Break the news to him gently, tell him what you are thinking now..Really, no point drag n drag n drag...dragy r/s will not last too long..one of you will suffer... -
that was y in my first msg, i ask you to think carefully if you really do not have any feelings towards him..Originally posted by LOST19877:Isn't it good that he loves me very much? How can I let such a guy down?
Read it again..
If you still have feelings, try and help him change, open up, be more realistic towards life...
anyway, its not a matter of letting the other down or not..By forcing yourself to stay with some1 you dont love at all, you are letting yourself down instead.. -
u r looking at the present .. u r nt looking further .. presumely u r 18 nw .. since ur nick is something 87 ?? nw both of u still young ..n naive .. u wait n wait till he become super dependant .. n those kind would really DIE for u .. wouldnt it be too late??u will regret for u rest of ur live for sure .. n think of urself too .. wat can he do for ur future ?