I KNOW HE STOLE, BUT WHO IS NEEDED TO BE TOLD..
-
hi peeps,theres has been a problem recently, my extremely close cousin came to complain or rather consulted me of her younger brother's problem, which made me felt quite bad and want to help. Her sis had left a hundred bucks on her desk in her opened room for a few days, and it went missing, she thought it might b her bro as their mother said that she still saw e money b4 she left for work one afternoon and when she came home from work..e money was gone. And my cousin brother was the only one in the house. His sister did not put blame or point fingers but she was quite sure its was her bro. She told me he had history for this bad habit..the family had been missing money every now and den, from 20 bucks and now 100 bucks. I would like to help her and her bro to solve the problem, i had asked her to call help centers for advise but i dun think its gonna work. As it will all end up to talking face to face with her bro which is quite difficult as her bro has a strong character.
Please advise!! -
Like LTA, put CCTVs around the house?
-
Nobody will admit it and it will just start a war.Originally posted by runway:hi peeps,theres has been a problem recently, my extremely close cousin came to complain or rather consulted me of her younger brother's problem, which made me felt quite bad and want to help. Her sis had left a hundred bucks on her desk in her opened room for a few days, and it went missing, she thought it might b her bro as their mother said that she still saw e money b4 she left for work one afternoon and when she came home from work..e money was gone. And my cousin brother was the only one in the house. His sister did not put blame or point fingers but she was quite sure its was her bro. She told me he had history for this bad habit..the family had been missing money every now and den, from 20 bucks and now 100 bucks. I would like to help her and her bro to solve the problem, i had asked her to call help centers for advise but i dun think its gonna work. As it will all end up to talking face to face with her bro which is quite difficult as her bro has a strong character.
Please advise!!
Next time make sure no valuable laying around unattended.
Just like the MRT announcement, "Please dont leave your belonging unattended, If you found something suspicious Please call 999" -
put cctv into furby..heheOriginally posted by dork3d:Like LTA, put CCTVs around the house? -
i had told her that mayb the family has to start putting their money in safe places, but she said something that i found very right. she said she didn't wan to do that coz..they r a family and there shouldnt be any dis-trust within. she wants to solve her bro's problem, cure the root of the habit and nt preventing, she said she is worried he might take his business outside, which e concequenses will b serious. Btw, her bro is nt the kind like ah beng or some bad ass boy, his juz a normal guy like any other.
-
It could be a psychological problem, sit down and talk over it, explain the consequences and should he needs financial aids, he should ask rather than take without permission.
-
sit the boy down and have a serious heart to heart tok w him.
DO NOT mention about the missing $$$$
tok bout how close knit the family is and how everyone is willing to help him if he needs any emotional or monetary assistance. make it knwnto him is tt all he has to do is ask.
n if she really wants to help him. the family shd NOT still leave $$$ lying around. if he stil carries on takg it. it will nvr end n it will end up into a bad habit tt he will definatly bring outside. -
Yes. With his history and they wish to help... Why set up things like that to happen...?Originally posted by skeujin:sit the boy down and have a serious heart to heart tok w him.
DO NOT mention about the missing $$$$
tok bout how close knit the family is and how everyone is willing to help him if he needs any emotional or monetary assistance. make it knwnto him is tt all he has to do is ask.
n if she really wants to help him. the family shd NOT still leave $$$ lying around. if he stil carries on takg it. it will nvr end n it will end up into a bad habit tt he will definatly bring outside.
Help should be rendered way before things get out of hands.. Not only when things happen... -
dont assume as it will make an ass out of u and me.
do take action only if you are sure he is guilty.
bieyuanwanghaoren. -
My brother is also like that, so i took matters and responsibility into my own hands to keep my stuff safe. I lock my room, and I further lock my valuables in cupboards.
-
I don't think you should be too involved in this because you're an outsider - this is a family matter. Your money isn't missing, you don't live in the house. If things go wrong all fingers would point to you. You should talk to the cousin you're close with and get her to discuss the matter with their parents. This is a problem that their parents should handle.
-
How come no one is sugguesting asking the boy where the money is? -
tell him this...
you are a despicable low down thief. i despise you to the core. just knowing the presence of you in this room makes me sick. -
because that would alienate him and put him on the defensive.Originally posted by Parka: How come no one is sugguesting asking the boy where the money is?
i think best just talk to him and see if he got any problems or why he need money lor -
would u share more? hw is ur bro doing nw?Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:My brother is also like that, so i took matters and responsibility into my own hands to keep my stuff safe. I lock my room, and I further lock my valuables in cupboards.
hi all thanks for the replies. as i had said earlier, the sister thought that hiding their own money in their own hse, den y even call it a family. She thought that family shld have the strongest foundation of trust that one can have, and that a 'home' is a place much differ frm the outside society. Therefore, she did not agreed on hiding, as solving the root of the problem is the solution. Question is, how does she goes abt doing it?she doesnt even know where to start. Sitting e boy dwn is quite difficult as it ain't much of a tradition since they were young, just like asking an asian 24 yr old say 'I love U mum and dad'. As for parents, their dad is a quite but stable man while their mother is abit of the too protective and loving her kids mum i would say. so the sister doesnt have too much support but only to try to get thing done by herself, thats y she came to me to help ask for ideas.
Im aware of my stand that my involvement is not very appropriate. And not forgettting something, peeps who want to give shallow or rather unconstructive replies like calling my own family some thief, pls start enrolling to Chao Yang Special School, and hopefully u will learn what r family values, that is if ur brains/brain(i wouldnt know) does work.
Finally, i would like to say thanks to the responds u guys gave and nbccbljassholemotherfu*ker to peeps whu show their stupidity.
Thanks
-
Sit him down with his whole family and have a talk with him, btw how old is he? If its still teens age, like 13-16, its still better to have a heart to heart chat with him. but if he still continue to have this stealing habit, maybe it time to lock up every doors and cupboards, but this may lead him to rob ppl if he needs money. find out y do he need so much money? buy drugs? or it is bcos he cant control himself from stealing? that you need to send him to see a doctor. but if its to buy drugs, the only and best way to help him is to call the cops le. its better to let him kick the habit now den later when he rob ppl to feed his drug habit
-
I believe in the hard approach. Put up the bait and get someone to catch him. Preferably someone not in the family like a cousin or a close friend of his parent whom he know well. After that the person can talk to him. The brother will be forced to talk as if he dont the person will tell the family. Thus by using the person to council the brother the problem should be able to be solve eventually.
-
I want to ask you this....
Is money, the only thing he steals?
I mean, does he steal, for example, apples, or cakes, snacks, food etc other things in the house?
I think if he steal all sorts of things, in a way it is a better problem.
If he never steal anything else, only money, I think this is worse.
Ummm..... issit?
Anyway, I think there is a difference. -
I had encountered thiis youth problem with one of my students before.
The snowball started when he first stole something small, which later snowballed into larger amount of cash, but confronted, he denies it.
First thing it to prove he stole. How do you prove it depends on how creative you are with gadgets.
After proving, the next step is counselling. Better to try the soft method first. i suspect it it more a psychological matter on why he stole.
Hope this helps. -
I understand what your sis is trying to say.... But what 'should' might never be quite close to the facts.. The fact is since she's quite lost as to how she could be helping your brother out at this point... Why do things just leaving valuables around to further tempt him...? It's like putting out drugs to an addict and say that you can trust him without even doing any therapy for him.... It's not about trust there... It's just leading him on and possibly degrading him further....Originally posted by runway:would u share more? hw is ur bro doing nw?
hi all thanks for the replies. as i had said earlier, the sister thought that hiding their own money in their own hse, den y even call it a family. She thought that family shld have the strongest foundation of trust that one can have, and that a 'home' is a place much differ frm the outside society. Therefore, she did not agreed on hiding, as solving the root of the problem is the solution. Question is, how does she goes abt doing it?she doesnt even know where to start. Sitting e boy dwn is quite difficult as it ain't much of a tradition since they were young, just like asking an asian 24 yr old say 'I love U mum and dad'. As for parents, their dad is a quite but stable man while their mother is abit of the too protective and loving her kids mum i would say. so the sister doesnt have too much support but only to try to get thing done by herself, thats y she came to me to help ask for ideas.
Im aware of my stand that my involvement is not very appropriate. And not forgettting something, peeps who want to give shallow or rather unconstructive replies like calling my own family some thief, pls start enrolling to Chao Yang Special School, and hopefully u will learn what r family values, that is if ur brains/brain(i wouldnt know) does work.
Finally, i would like to say thanks to the responds u guys gave and nbccbljassholemotherfu*ker to peeps whu show their stupidity.
Thanks
As much as I would agree with her that 'hiding' would not solve the root of the problem, but there're precautions to be taken throughout steps in attempts to help out this kid....
I think one 1st step is for her to talk to the family... Namely mum and dad to get their full support and help...? Things should be much easier if the whole family is working hand in hand to help him... It's quite important for mum to understand that she is (you all should be) doing all these for the better of your brother... Neglecting could only mean letting him into more serious trouble in the future, and possibly even to destroy his own future... (depends on if he manage to control or kick his habit) Keeping an eye closed or like your sis had said about 'hiding' simply don't sound like a very brillant idea like this point... It's like knowing your brother's heading for it and just let him be....
How old is your brother now by the way...? You mentioned that he has had stealing record before..? When was that...?
How close is your family? How often your family go out for outings...?
Thought of bringing him down for youth counselling...? Perhaps can start by motivating him to join a certain youth community club...? -
Hi peeps! once again thanks 4 the replies. Pls b assured that questions that might help asked will b answered. My cousin bro is 20 this yr, as for the stealing record i mentioned, happen also in the house and nt outside, only his own family members know. It was just recent that i got to know abt its seriousness through his sis. I strongly believe he doesnt haf e drug culture, and yes, i guess he only retrive money that is in his sight and not food or materials. His sis said he wouldn't juz take the money if he sees it the 1st time, he would come bck to the money's location in, say, a few days later, and if its still there he will take it without asking. To add on, he has a bad habit of not returing the change when others give him money to run an erran. This young lad has a very gd tradition of keeping money too, he gets ard 15 bucks everyday frm the father and he use like 10 or 5 buck that day and saves the rest. Even so, he will still get money frm his dad on the day itself to buy food or wateva he needs in the evening despite the fact that he have not finish using up his money for that day. So he ended up to become a loaded guy.
We thought it might b gd to call a help center or something, anyone here knows any? if yes, we wld much appreciate if you guys provide some info. As for sitting the boy dwn or catching him red handed may sound quite effective on curing the problem, the family is seldom at home due to working hrs. The parents and sister wun b able to come home only after 6 pm or later, so i dun think any 1 has the energy to come up wif an agenda for the catch after a hard day's work. Peeps who works hard shld know what its like to come home shag.
All in all, a big thank you to all replies.
i will direct the sister to chk the thread out.
Thanks -
20... What's his current occupation...? Served NS? You happens to know his horoscope...?Originally posted by runway:Hi peeps! once again thanks 4 the replies. Pls b assured that questions that might help asked will b answered. My cousin bro is 20 this yr, as for the stealing record i mentioned, happen also in the house and nt outside, only his own family members know. It was just recent that i got to know abt its seriousness through his sis. I strongly believe he doesnt haf e drug culture, and yes, i guess he only retrive money that is in his sight and not food or materials. His sis said he wouldn't juz take the money if he sees it the 1st time, he would come bck to the money's location in, say, a few days later, and if its still there he will take it without asking. To add on, he has a bad habit of not returing the change when others give him money to run an erran. This young lad has a very gd tradition of keeping money too, he gets ard 15 bucks everyday frm the father and he use like 10 or 5 buck that day and saves the rest. Even so, he will still get money frm his dad on the day itself to buy food or wateva he needs in the evening despite the fact that he have not finish using up his money for that day. So he ended up to become a loaded guy.
We thought it might b gd to call a help center or something, anyone here knows any? if yes, we wld much appreciate if you guys provide some info. As for sitting the boy dwn or catching him red handed may sound quite effective on curing the problem, the family is seldom at home due to working hrs. The parents and sister wun b able to come home only after 6 pm or later, so i dun think any 1 has the energy to come up wif an agenda for the catch after a hard day's work. Peeps who works hard shld know what its like to come home shag.
All in all, a big thank you to all replies.
i will direct the sister to chk the thread out.
Thanks
He seems like a guy who's trying his means around to find $... Yes, bad habits can kill. However, it might or might not be appropriate to catch him red-handed... Not to mention that doing so probably won't cure the root of his root too...?
Try going through the list here for help centers... Does his sis knows his friends well...? -
Hmm, i was thinking do his parents know about this bad habit of him? If they do know, how come that they still leave their money lying around? And about how he still ask for money for dinner when he still have money. What I think is his parents had already pampered him beyond the limit. Now he thinks that he just have to reach out of his hand and money will auto come to him. Since he is 20, he dont need to serve NS? There was once The New Paper did a acticle on some 20plus ppl who still live off their parents. Their mindset is that someone is providing them with the money, so they dun need to work for it.