Have u ever felt....
-
that there are certain things occuring in your life which u feel like voicing out but u didnt? The reasons for not voicing out are the following
1. Voicing out doesnt change any facts or make any difference. Cos at the end of the day, this problem u facing still has to be handled by you.
2. pple wont be able to understand you as they arent in your shoes.
3. Its hard to find someone who listens to you and not give any suggestions or advices. Sometimes just nd a listening ear....
Sometimes i do feel this way. Certain issues in my life are shut out from my frens and close frens. As i grow older, i tend to keep mum about certain things.
My frens and close frens are pretty confident in me that i will get pass every setback or downfall in my life. Sometimes talking to them about my problems, they will just go , "U will be fine", "U been through far more worse cases and scenarios", or blah blah blah, after listening to what i have to say.
Any one going htrough this too? -
Hi Babyreyes,
Telling you you'll be fine is actually a support on their part. Would you rather your friends tell you, "You won't make it, you're too weak! You're spineless", etc?
I do have the same kinda feelings as you sometimes, because I'd rather people Not worry about me, I'd rather be by myself & try to remain calm & sort out the problem myself instead of having a whole lotta people trying to discuss, which is sometimes distracting.
Sometimes though, when the problem is too much to bear, or the strain is too much for me, I'll also share with a friend or 2, those whom I trust & whom I know will gimme the support I need.
I'll tell my partner too, but only because he knows me well enough that I don't actually like to be reminded of something with a solution until I've thought of some so that we can brainstorm & talk it through.
It depends on your personality too, I suppose : )
Anyway, is there anything in particular you need help with?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by babyreyes:that there are certain things occuring in your life which u feel like voicing out but u didnt? The reasons for not voicing out are the following
1. Voicing out doesnt change any facts or make any difference. Cos at the end of the day, this problem u facing still has to be handled by you.
2. pple wont be able to understand you as they arent in your shoes.
3. Its hard to find someone who listens to you and not give any suggestions or advices. Sometimes just nd a listening ear....
Sometimes i do feel this way. Certain issues in my life are shut out from my frens and close frens. As i grow older, i tend to keep mum about certain things.
My frens and close frens are pretty confident in me that i will get pass every setback or downfall in my life. Sometimes talking to them about my problems, they will just go , "U will be fine", "U been through far more worse cases and scenarios", or blah blah blah, after listening to what i have to say.
Any one going htrough this too? -
some problems obviously has no good solutions ......
so why spread the negative thoughts .....
-
Hmmx....currently still manageable. =) thanks. Though there are things im using a wait n see approach.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Babyreyes,
Telling you you'll be fine is actually a support on their part. Would you rather your friends tell you, "You won't make it, you're too weak! You're spineless", etc?
I do have the same kinda feelings as you sometimes, because I'd rather people Not worry about me, I'd rather be by myself & try to remain calm & sort out the problem myself instead of having a whole lotta people trying to discuss, which is sometimes distracting.
Sometimes though, when the problem is too much to bear, or the strain is too much for me, I'll also share with a friend or 2, those whom I trust & whom I know will gimme the support I need.
I'll tell my partner too, but only because he knows me well enough that I don't actually like to be reminded of something with a solution until I've thought of some so that we can brainstorm & talk it through.
It depends on your personality too, I suppose : )
Anyway, is there anything in particular you need help with?
FeowFeow
I used to be more vocal whenever i meet with difficulties. Gradually i dont. Perhaps mental strength and ability to solve own problems increased. Or maybe im less whiny already. -
And just won't that be a better thing?Originally posted by babyreyes:Hmmx....currently still manageable. =) thanks. Though there are things im using a wait n see approach.
I used to be more vocal whenever i meet with difficulties. Gradually i dont. [color=blue]Perhaps mental strength and ability to solve own problems increased. Or maybe im less whiny already. [/color]
-
-
Its somewhat better.....however, it seems to me like there aint anything else to talk about with my closer frens. As we usually share our problems among each other and giving support. Then as we grew older, we tend not to say so much. hmmx.Originally posted by Devil1976:And just won't that be a better thing?
Is this whole thing part of growing up? -
How you grow from here will quite determine on what you'll become in the future?Originally posted by babyreyes:Its somewhat better.....however, it seems to me like there aint anything else to talk about with my closer frens. As we usually share our problems among each other and giving support. Then as we grew older, we tend not to say so much. hmmx.
[color=blue]Is this whole thing part of growing up?
[/color]
Cheers -
Live a life the way it is... Surely you can find other topics to talk about other than just problems...? Enjoying finer things and sharing happiness with each other...?Originally posted by babyreyes:Its somewhat better.....however, it seems to me like there aint anything else to talk about with my closer frens. As we usually share our problems among each other and giving support. Then as we grew older, we tend not to say so much. hmmx.
Is this whole thing part of growing up? -
I am afraid to face this world with my real heart.So gradually,i became more and more quiet.Kept things to myself.
As i grow up, i began to see the uglier side of humans.
As the saying goes,"The pictures they never change,but sadly the people in them do" -
And slowly... You should realise that... Nobody's perfect... If you choose to see the ugly side to them, you probably would be able to see that... But still... There're quite 'beautiful' people around...Originally posted by Patrik:I am afraid to face this world with my real heart.So gradually,i became more and more quiet.Kept things to myself.
As i grow up, i began to see the uglier side of humans.
As the saying goes,"The pictures they never change,but sadly the people in them do" -
But Patrik, everybody has a dark side, whether you wanna admit it or Not. As Dev's said, it just depends on how you wanna look at the glass of water : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Patrik:I am afraid to face this world with my real heart.So gradually,i became more and more quiet.Kept things to myself.
As i grow up, i began to see the uglier side of humans.
As the saying goes,"The pictures they never change,but sadly the people in them do" -
can i drink the water instead?Originally posted by FeowFeow:But Patrik, everybody has a dark side, whether you wanna admit it or Not. As Dev's said, it just depends on how you wanna look at the glass of water : )
FeowFeow -
I saw problems sense problems, voice it out, got critisiced for doing so and make to leave.
-
i voice out my displeasure very often. that seems to make me 'popular'. like i care
-
Nt just me..but my frens... well..
its like we knw she or he is bothered or they know tat im bothered, but we just kept quiet lors.
for my cases, i do sense tat they know im bothered. But i just didnt say anything...
as for my frens, especially closer ones, i just cant take it when they keep everything inside.Perhaps im worriedd. But when i apply teh same logic on myself, i just cant help but sigh. lolx. -
Same here...de first n sec point r happening to me now...those frenz just put blame on me and let me handle myself...Originally posted by babyreyes:that there are certain things occuring in your life which u feel like voicing out but u didnt? The reasons for not voicing out are the following
1. Voicing out doesnt change any facts or make any difference. Cos at the end of the day, this problem u facing still has to be handled by you.
2. pple wont be able to understand you as they arent in your shoes.
3. Its hard to find someone who listens to you and not give any suggestions or advices. Sometimes just nd a listening ear....
Sometimes i do feel this way. Certain issues in my life are shut out from my frens and close frens. As i grow older, i tend to keep mum about certain things.
My frens and close frens are pretty confident in me that i will get pass every setback or downfall in my life. Sometimes talking to them about my problems, they will just go , "U will be fine", "U been through far more worse cases and scenarios", or blah blah blah, after listening to what i have to say.
Any one going htrough this too?
de 3rd one...to me its better now...i got a counsellor...i tend to keep things from my mom as well...but de counsellor said "if anything happens to u, ur mom will be hurt...u r a family...i m sure she will support u and listen to all ur sorrow...and be dere whenever u need comforting"
Dun talk bout frenz...they dun even give a damn of wad u r saying...they r really selfish at times...in my situation...becuz every female frenz of mine dun wanna get into trouble with me...when i m having a cold war with my other fren...they gradually stop being close to me or maybe even being frenz with me...finding all xcuses...they dun even say u r fine...they just drift away from u...for fear being "lian lei"...they dun help u...they dun listen to u...they ignore u...such frenz are worse den a beast...but of cuz i m not saying everyone is lidat -
personal views:
1) if u r not happy about something, it may b better to voice out..... and sometimes finding out why u r REALLY not wanting to voice out can actually lead to some 'self-discovery'....
2) u choose your friends.... and... hv u been a good listening ear to your friends as well?? friends - as part of the growing up process, u may realise that u just have to accept them as what they r... not to expect too much from them..... but give them as much support and help as they need.... u may then b able to differentiate who r your true friends.... friends who accept u as what u r.... and like u for what u r.... not trying to fleece off u all the time....
3) how 'big' a problem is will depend a lot on how 'big' u view your problem is.... it may actually b a small wall to climb over.... but some may view it as a tall and impossible wall to get over.... u cannot choose what happens to you sometimes... but u can choose what u want your attitude to be to face the situation.....
dunno whether i m making sense here....
-
Originally posted by sacredspirits:personal views:
1) if u r not happy about something, it may b better to voice out..... and sometimes finding out why u r REALLY not wanting to voice out can actually lead to some 'self-discovery'....
2) u choose your friends.... and... hv u been a good listening ear to your friends as well?? friends - as part of the growing up process, u may realise that u just have to accept them as what they r... not to expect too much from them..... but give them as much support and help as they need.... u may then b able to differentiate who r your true friends.... friends who accept u as what u r.... and like u for what u r.... not trying to fleece off u all the time....
3) how 'big' a problem is will depend a lot on how 'big' u view your problem is.... it may actually b a small wall to climb over.... but some may view it as a tall and impossible wall to get over.... u cannot choose what happens to you sometimes... but u can choose what u want your attitude to be to face the situation.....
dunno whether i m making sense here....
Gd one...now i realise alot of idiots who claim me as frenz now trying to avoid me...
Wad attitude u mean? how to choose...i wana face my prob seriously...but sometimes i just feel so tired or discouraged dat i dun wanna care....sigh... -
well...... i dont knowwhat kind of problem u r currently facing now... some sort of BGR problem or friendship problem if i may guess.... u may not be able to control how people treat u.... but u can control how u want to feel..... anger, frustration, sadness.... maybe.... but it can also be bo chap, move on etc.... personally, i always feel that we can feel discouraged, angry, sad, frustrated etc... but then after feeling all these, we have to move on..... life is short, there are many other things to do, places to see, people to know....Originally posted by OasisBlue:
Gd one...now i realise alot of idiots who claim me as frenz now trying to avoid me...
Wad attitude u mean? how to choose...i wana face my prob seriously...but sometimes i just feel so tired or discouraged dat i dun wanna care....sigh... -
Sigh...so trueOriginally posted by sacredspirits:well...... i dont knowwhat kind of problem u r currently facing now... some sort of BGR problem or friendship problem if i may guess.... u may not be able to control how people treat u.... but u can control how u want to feel..... anger, frustration, sadness.... maybe.... but it can also be bo chap, move on etc.... personally, i always feel that we can feel discouraged, angry, sad, frustrated etc... but then after feeling all these, we have to move on..... life is short, there are many other things to do, places to see, people to know.... -
hmm... just read some of your other threads.... can understand a little of the situation though i cannot say that i fully do.... if u r starting to lose sleep, lose appetite and feeling that life is not worth living and this situation and feeling prolong, it is good that u r seeing a counsellor but sometimes a psychiatrist may help.... i m not into medication but i also know from many anti-depressants help (but they may take up to 6 weeks to take effects and u may b asked to take it for 6months to a year depending on how your situation is... and well.... they are NOT addictive unless u r being prescribed tranquilisers/sleeping tablets instead!!).....Originally posted by OasisBlue:Sigh...so true
in most situations, the best 'medication' is still 'talking therapy'.... u need to talk to others..... hear how others view the situation and then u have to find the answers yourself.... and sometimes, there are no answers.... that is just how the situation is, so, bo bian, just have to accept it and move on..... -
oops, sorry babyreyes, i know this is your thread.... just sort of got concerned when i saw how oasis is affected by the situation.... sorry....
-
Hm...psychatrist is a bomb...quite exp...well thx for ur concern =) and of cuz sry to thread starter...Originally posted by sacredspirits:hmm... just read some of your other threads.... can understand a little of the situation though i cannot say that i fully do.... if u r starting to lose sleep, lose appetite and feeling that life is not worth living and this situation and feeling prolong, it is good that u r seeing a counsellor but sometimes a psychiatrist may help.... i m not into medication but i also know from many anti-depressants help (but they may take up to 6 weeks to take effects and u may b asked to take it for 6months to a year depending on how your situation is... and well.... they are NOT addictive unless u r being prescribed tranquilisers/sleeping tablets instead!!).....
in most situations, the best 'medication' is still 'talking therapy'.... u need to talk to others..... hear how others view the situation and then u have to find the answers yourself.... and sometimes, there are no answers.... that is just how the situation is, so, bo bian, just have to accept it and move on..... -
hmm... in the past, there is this 'Child Psychiatric Clinic' in one of the hospital in Singapore.... that is, if u r still under 16.... and if it is still there, your school counsellor should be able to make a referral there.... should not cost a bomb.....Originally posted by OasisBlue:Hm...psychatrist is a bomb...quite exp...well thx for ur concern
anyway, take care....