I'm scared... Is this normal?
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Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one.
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sadly, i myself have no idea what its like to be a NORMAL relationship either.
and yes, it is totally normal to be scared.
i dont know what it was that ruined your previous relationships, but i guess you can try to prevent yourself from getting hurt the same ways by being more aware. you said that you were the victimized one...i dont know if im getting the right message, but if i am, what i can say is that you have to have your own say. you cant always let him make all the decisions and let him walk all over you...
and also, its totally normal to need someone to talk to. its only human. -
Paranoia can be your best friend or worst enemy. Take things with a balance and don't over do it.Originally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one. -
Originally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one.
You got to realise that every relationship is unique.
And because they are different, they all have different ending (positive or negative) and therefore, different experience.
Being haunted by old relationship is a sign which signify a lack of self understanding why your previous relationship is abominable. You are haunted because you fear such scenario would recreate themselves into your present Love - but have you learn those lessons, this fear wouldn't even brought forth into your relationship because understanding would have made you stronger and grown up.
And because you are so afraid, you will unconsciously behave in such a way that it REPEATS what has happen into the present and in turn, create a reiterated future. It is like you using the same key to make the same trigger - your behaviour is the key and the trigger is a self-fulfilling prophesy that comes true based on the SAME key you used in the past.
Those enigma that we hid in our subconscious, do not be afraid to tackle them head-on. These past issues must be handled properly and appeased the tension from within, so that you can enjoy the fruit of your relationship and NOT having to worries incessantly while leading a new relationship during its honeymoon period.
Apply what you thought you have learn from your previous relationship to avoid costly mistake. But at the same time, give yourself a break. Don't take everything too personal and serious that it hinders your progression in your relationship. Until when you hit something, just sit back and revel in the ride.
Cheers -
ch0i jus wan 2 sae
1 step at a time
man man lai
dun be so kiaso tink this think that
jus be yourself -
Guarantees that it will lasts? Life has no guarantees. You could be dead, he could be dead tmr. I could be dead. I do not know and nobody knows.Originally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one.
It is OK to be scared but if you allow the fear to govern your life; it is possible that you will unconsciously self fulfill the prophecy. So always live life with positive thinking.
Conduct your relationship like it is going to last forever (except don't give your money to him.) Conduct your relationship like if it fails, another better one will come along... you see girl, you have no choice but to do it like this. This is the way life have dealt us the cards. Make the best of everything and always hope for the best and always expect the best.
Don't live your life in fear of disappointments... but live a life of competence and positive thinking. Competence is very importent.... positive thinking without competence is foolhardiness. -
we all have our past mistakes. that's y we're here today.
but hey, there's hope!
because we make mistakes we can afford to learn from them and not repeat the same mistakes again.
same thing in ur current r/s. it doesn't mean that the current r/s is going to be the same as ur previous ones... unless u made it to be.
it's still ur decision and the choices u make in making this whole r/s work out right.
one way for history to not repeat itself is to learn from ur past.
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So ask yourself if the following is normal ?
1. Everyday miss him
2. Always got something to talk about
3. Feel sorry when u say things that hurt him
4. Scared to loose him -
nope i think you are perfectly normal......as the saying goes....once bitten twice shy.......fo course you have to be on your guard needless to say..........well....if i were to be you....i would trust my instincts......if its good for long term......why not........well if its short term.......then all i can say is to treasure what you really got in life.......sometimes life can be really really unpredictable......hope you do well anyway.,,,,,Originally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one. -
take care of urself dun do stupid things that will cause this relationship to end suddenly..
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Don't worry too much... Sometimes people might change... Sometimes relationship might change... Sometimes they don't....Originally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one.
Right now it seems everything is fine for you...? LEARN to... TREASURE and ENJOY it while it's here for you, and LET GO of the 'unkeepables' (don't think there's such a word?> " ) when they really have to leave...
Remember that a relationship WORKS 2-ways and often needs to be in BALANCE....
One of the worst things about a relationship is not just a 'break up'... It's when you overreacted and caused the break up...
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I think your first sentence here sums everything up - the fact that you're approaching your current relationship with inhibition and fear(justifiably or not) would already mean you actually aren't being fair to your current bf in the sense that you aren't giving this relationship the best chance of working out.Originally posted by Starletz:I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one.
Quite simply, I don't think you should be in a relationship if you don't feel ready and if you are, I don't see why you should allow your past to hold you back and plant so many seeds of doubt in your mind.
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should never let a sour past relationship make you feel scared about a promising new relationship.
the only time you should be scared is when the guy cares more about himself and his interests when you need it most as in like in sickness. everyone knows when the going is good, everything is rosy. the real test of love is when the going gets tough. then you really want to know where is he going. -
How are you going to know what's a normal relationship like?Originally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one.
You're confused....
How can you define a relationship as normal? Ppl see your relationship as "normal", you see ppl's relationships as "normal"....
No relationship is "normal".......they're unique on each own... -
when the honeymoon died down, it jsut gets quiet but u should not let it happen instead, make everyday a honeymoon with ur guy... plan things with him, continue to communicate with him on any matters... good luckOriginally posted by Starletz:Hi Peepz.... never knew I'll need someone to talk to. Now here goes... Recently, I'm in a new relationship. A total different from the rest relationships..... I used to be victimised... or end up being the upset and totally hurt one. Now with this new guy, I'm happy. Things are just day by day and we laughed together at the silliest things... With him, I did things that I used to dream about and I didn't even need to tell him. It just happened. Honeymoon period still... of course but it seem like ages we've been together for. My sister told me that I should take things as they come and not think so much but I am scared.... I am scared that all these happiness will juz come and go so quickly. I'm a little haunted by my old relationships of coz. Badly that I got scared. with him.. there wasn't a break. I just ended my relatonship with this other guy when my heart died and my current bf was just there for me. sigh... I also dunno why but I feel scared... everyday. Is it normal for me to think that it's ok to be happy and blissful? Are all relationships like this? Can someone share with me how you feel when you are in a normal relationship? Coz I really dunno what it is like to be in a normal one. -
Yeah you had some bad experiences and its haunting you ever since. But until when do you want to live your life full of "what if he's not the one?" Question is "what if he is the one?" It's normal of you to feel scared but its ultimately your choice to stop feeling scared or not. It's all in the mind and if you are mentally strong enough, you should overcome your fear and convert it to a valuable lesson learnt and move on with your life.
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Treat yr present r/s as if it is going to end anytime,maybe u dead or he dead. Maybe he left u or u left him. Treat every precious moment as if it is the last! Nvr take yr partner for granted...