RE: Long Distance Relationship
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I'm falling into a long distance relationship soon
My boyfriend will be going to Australia, most probably UNSW for his degree(3yrs) & honours(1yr) for 4 years.
We've been together for 5 1/2 years if you're curious. Although we've been through rain and storms, we're still very much loving together.
Yes.. We're both very sad but NOT going to let both our emotions obstruct his opportunity to further his studies for the good of our future and for that I'm pretty understanding about it.
Any tips & advices to sustain a long distance relationship? I would also like to hear from anyone who has been in, or currently are in, a long distance relationship. I was wondering if you could comment on how difficult has it been and what you do to keep the relationship going?
Thx a million
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get a web cam and a microphone for ur PCs.
keep the communication going. -
Yes. Like Gwangetto says....keep the communication going. If you are a sincere and faithful person by nature, then it wont be any problem in your side. But do you trust men really?
Anyway, for my case, Im still young but I was away for a few months when i was attach with my ex. She told me online she will be staying home and not go clubbing or wad la. But in fact, my friends told me she went. And so i break up with her. Now the point here is that she lied. Of course I broke up with her over much more tedious issues. But my point here... being far doesnt mean both parties will remain sincere to each other.
So you got to accept the fact that... your guy would secretly have his own fun. Its better not to know. Trust me. -
Didnt have a very good experience in my past long distance r/s. You have to accept the fact that both parties are going to have temptations from time to time, and unless both of you are really faithful, it is really hard to withstand those temptations...
And the physical part of a r/s is very important as well...it is just not the same when you are not being in front of that person, when you are not able to hug, kiss and touch that person...Maybe both of you can stand it for a while, but if it is for a long period of time, it is going to be hard on both of you, esp when nearer temptations present itself to both you and him...
Not that I am trying to be a wet blanket, cos I am currently in a long distance r/s myself (though I am coming home soon) and I had been through one before...but it didnt end the way I wanted it to be. But I guess communication is very important, as well as trust and faith...not just on your side, but his side as well. This will be an important test to your r/s and if you can cross this hurdle, I think you will have a pretty strong r/s in your hand
Gd luck
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pay him a visit from time to time
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being truthful to each other is very important
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i agree wif the folks here, communciation stil the key, me currently oso in long dist r/s, well, luckily now got advanced technolgy, he n i always on msn wif cam n headphone everyday for a few hrs...most impt is the trust. The thg is maybe u can try to find job oppourtunities in Aust? or uboth can visit frm time to time too, discuss wif him wat are the "best" solution for both of u
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Originally posted by sweetevil:I'm falling into a long distance relationship soon
My boyfriend will be going to Australia, most probably UNSW for his degree(3yrs) & honours(1yr) for 4 years.
We've been together for 5 1/2 years if you're curious. Although we've been through rain and storms, we're still very much loving together.
Yes.. We're both very sad but NOT going to let both our emotions obstruct his opportunity to further his studies for the good of our future and for that I'm pretty understanding about it.
Any tips & advices to sustain a long distance relationship? I would also like to hear from anyone who has been in, or currently are in, a long distance relationship. I was wondering if you could comment on how difficult has it been and what you do to keep the relationship going?
Thx a million
I am going to be truthful here:
To pursue a LDR for an estimated four years is a dangerous feat for any relationship. It is high risk and represents an unstable model, unless you two are mentally and emotionally tuned to accept those challenges. And I mean real tuning.
Here's a sad truth: MOST LDR fails.
Not to overly douse you with cold water; the reason why LDR fail is largely because people are using conventional relationship methods to handle LDR (and yours begin from a conventional relationship). They perceive similar standards, needs, methods, wants, desire, etc of a conventional relationship and applied them into LDR.
Obviously when you are not feeling too good emotionally, your bf can't be there for you. Obviously when someone is chasing you, your bf cannot be there to deny his competitor with his presence and the list goes on. People engaging in LDR gradually give in to such vulnerability and in turn, reconsider their relationship, which is why most LDR fails. If you want to accept LDR, you got to truly give and expect nothing in return.
Somewhat like God? You pray to him, but God don't appear to you directly (maybe in your dreams perhaps). You lived on blind faith and believe in him until circumstances make you lose track of that vision.
If you want to accept LDR (especially those more than 1.5 years), you got to have a drastic change of mindset and also a change of lifestyle. All the lovely thingy that is granted to you this 5 1/2 years, will likely, NOT happen meanwhile. When I talk about those lovely thingy, it's all those insignificant thingy, which you never knew it mattered, but when he's gone, you will gradually come to an understanding that it actually matters and make a difference in your relationship.
All those insignificant thingy: e.g. like your bf used to wake you up for work through a telephone call, so as to ensure that you go to work on time. After he's gone, you find yourself being late for work because the phone never rings.
Your bf used to peel those oranges, so that you could eat them. After he's gone, you never touch those oranges because nobody peels them for you.
Know what I mean? People become vulnerable because they long for the 'previous' sort of lifestyle they are so familiar with and this creates instability. They are using the old ways of expectation and methods of doing things to a 'new' sort of relationship.
You will probably need:
I) Lots of blind faith.
II) Lots of drastic changes.
III) Lots of giving and zero receiving.
And lastly, probably no sex (if you have been leading a sexually active life).
P.S: Better to understand how challenging this route is and not delude ourselves, thinking that we-have-been-through-many-thingy-and-we-will-also-surmount-this-difficulty sort of mindset, so that you can better prepare yourself emotionally and psychologically and not succumb to circumstances while leading a LDR. It is difficult and even when you succeeded in maintaining LDR for four years, it is not exactly fulfilling as well. You will probably feel relieve, more than fulfilment in fact.
Cheers -
morning larling.
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One thing's certain : your relationship will never be the same again - for better or worse.Originally posted by sweetevil:I'm falling into a long distance relationship soon
My boyfriend will be going to Australia, most probably UNSW for his degree(3yrs) & honours(1yr) for 4 years.
We've been together for 5 1/2 years if you're curious. Although we've been through rain and storms, we're still very much loving together.
Yes.. We're both very sad but NOT going to let both our emotions obstruct his opportunity to further his studies for the good of our future and for that I'm pretty understanding about it.
Any tips & advices to sustain a long distance relationship? I would also like to hear from anyone who has been in, or currently are in, a long distance relationship. I was wondering if you could comment on how difficult has it been and what you do to keep the relationship going?
Thx a million
Personally, I think maturity is perhaps the single most influential factor in determining the destiny of such relationships as the odds are often stacked against couples who are younger and whose commitment and trust in a relationship may not be strong enough to withstand the trials and tribulations of such an arrangement. As with any relationship(not necessarily a romantic one), trust and faith are integral components to sustain relationships and ultimately, strong and successful relationships often emerge with faith and trust forming the cornerstone upon which such relationships are built.
Look at it this way : if this relationship fails as a result of you guys staying apart, I suppose you - albeit a scant one - could take some consolation from the fact that perhaps, you two are just incompatible as a couple and he maybe isn't the one for you(to be frank, it might actually be better for you to discover certain undesirable/incompatible traits in your partner during courtship than to do so after marriage). It may sound harsh, but that's a realistic assessment of things IMO. However, if your relationship can survive 4 years of LDR, then I'd very much concur with rainee's assessment that what you will have at the end of it is a firm, secure and stable relationship that is well-equipped to stand the test of time and just about any challenge(well, maybe bar the world coming to an end 
) that you may be confronted with later on in life.
Good luck with your relationshp! -
ur experience through rain n strom would be alittle helpful but LDR is a hard to say thing... u will miss him lots and therefore u better make plans with him to communicate through fone or online before he leaves... ask him to bring a webcam... tis LDR will be challenging cos he will get offers to go hang out with friends n schoolmates and tis will be how u hv to understand n trust him tat he will not stray... so jz make plans to communicate daily... 4yrs is long to u hv to get use to it for tat long... sound simple but it differs from person-person... get ready for gd communication n patience... tis is a stiff test so be prepared... gd luck...Originally posted by sweetevil:I'm falling into a long distance relationship soon
My boyfriend will be going to Australia, most probably UNSW for his degree(3yrs) & honours(1yr) for 4 years.
We've been together for 5 1/2 years if you're curious. Although we've been through rain and storms, we're still very much loving together.
Yes.. We're both very sad but NOT going to let both our emotions obstruct his opportunity to further his studies for the good of our future and for that I'm pretty understanding about it.
Any tips & advices to sustain a long distance relationship? I would also like to hear from anyone who has been in, or currently are in, a long distance relationship. I was wondering if you could comment on how difficult has it been and what you do to keep the relationship going?
Thx a million -
Sorry to frighten you but if there are lots of determined girls out to get him over there; then he might just fall for one of them. Just be ready for this eventuality.Originally posted by sweetevil:I'm falling into a long distance relationship soon
My boyfriend will be going to Australia, most probably UNSW for his degree(3yrs) & honours(1yr) for 4 years.
We've been together for 5 1/2 years if you're curious. Although we've been through rain and storms, we're still very much loving together.
Yes.. We're both very sad but NOT going to let both our emotions obstruct his opportunity to further his studies for the good of our future and for that I'm pretty understanding about it.
Any tips & advices to sustain a long distance relationship? I would also like to hear from anyone who has been in, or currently are in, a long distance relationship. I was wondering if you could comment on how difficult has it been and what you do to keep the relationship going?
Thx a million -
guy 2 years in ns, gal change heart n dump guy eventually.
tis scenario is very common in sg...
2 years can make a couple have change of heart, let alone 5 years and not meeting each other since one is in foreign land. one thing for sure, human beings have a fear of being loneliness, they need companions beside them. during the journey, ur bf might meet SYT in his colleage... or u meet some cute guy... den either or both of u throw away the vow you used to promise each other...
unless both of u can be understanding, have faith of each other n committed dat u will become lifetime partners. den i see why not wait for each other?
It's like putting yourselves into this test whether both of you truely love each other even though u r missed. -
There is a concept known as "opportunity costs."Originally posted by 798:guy 2 years in ns, gal change heart n dump guy eventually.
tis scenario is very common in sg...
2 years can make a couple have change of heart, let alone 5 years and not meeting each other since one is in foreign land. one thing for sure, human beings have a fear of being loneliness, they need companions beside them. during the journey, ur bf might meet SYT in his colleage... or u meet some cute guy... den either or both of u throw away the vow you used to promise each other...
unless both of u can be understanding, have faith of each other n committed dat u will become lifetime partners. den i see why not wait for each other?
It's like putting yourselves into this test whether both of you truely love each other even though u r missed. -
dont part too long
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it's how one can overcome loneliness n withstand temptation, but den again, if one does mistake he/she must be ensure nvr to commit it again for the sake of their love one. on the other hand, the other party must also need to understand his/her need and learn to be forgiving.Originally posted by casino_king:There is a concept known as "opportunity costs."
this can only ensure that both you n your partner's love is strong and against all odds. -
this can only ensure that both your love be strong and against all odds.
just like:
"if there is a fish in front of a cat, the cat will still eat it."
but:
"a husband can be flirting around but he has to go back to eat his wife's cooking when he is hungry"
put this love a test, channel your energy to work and studies instead, at time like this you should be concern of each other's health n staying over there, n not whether he/she is flirting around or feel neglected cos u always thinking he/she dun love u anymore. -
But people are human beings; they have needs, they have wants....
I suspect many women are fuming at your statement:""a husband can be flirting around but he has to go back to eat his wife's cooking when he is hungry"
They hate husbands to be flirting around even if goes back to his wife's cooking.
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haiz what to do ... but
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no doubt my statement is extreme end but it has a special meaning. on appear it stated that if a gal can cook well, she will ultimately win the guy's heart.Originally posted by casino_king:But people are human beings; they have needs, they have wants....
I suspect many women are fuming at your statement:""a husband can be flirting around but he has to go back to eat his wife's cooking when he is hungry"
They hate husbands to be flirting around even if goes back to his wife's cooking.
it also mean wild flowers can be lustful and have thorns, but only your wife is one who love you truthful n know all your need.
this is for all men to rethink never to commit adultery for the sake of their wives.
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But men/women have needs and wants and if they are 3000 miles apart... how are they going to feed each other?Originally posted by 798:no doubt my statement is extreme end but it has a special meaning. on appear it stated that if a gal can cook well, she will ultimately win the guy's heart.
it also mean wild flowers can be lustful and have thorns, but only your wife is one who love you truthful n know all your need.
this is for all men to rethink never to commit adultery for the sake of their wives. -
get webcam n cyber!Originally posted by casino_king:But men/women have needs and wants and if they are 3000 miles apart... how are they going to feed each other?
keep r/s going strong! -
sure that will feed each other some of the needs and wants... there are many even stronger needs and wantsOriginally posted by 798:get webcam n cyber!
keep r/s going strong! -
will be better if both is together. like my friend he and his financee it is not easy for them to be together. one in singapore one is taiwan. spending time at night talking on the phone juz to maintain the relationship.Originally posted by casino_king:But men/women have needs and wants and if they are 3000 miles apart... how are they going to feed each other?
it is indeed a tough process.
myself too i need to call my gf in china every night. it is tiring. -
sooner or later; if (you don't do it but) someone you really like comes along and flirts with you...Originally posted by antoh:will be better if both is together. like my friend he and his financee it is not easy for them to be together. one in singapore one is taiwan. spending time at night talking on the phone juz to maintain the relationship.
it is indeed a tough process.
myself too i need to call my gf in china every night. it is tiring.