Originally posted by olala:
I've some problems within and hope to get answers
lets call the gal,gal A
I'm 17 this year,when i was in sec 3,i fell for gal A in my class for mroe than a year
I did everything i could to court her..
I was very chldish in he past
u know,the usual smses and chit chat.giving get well cards and bdae gift
I got rejected continously for more than a year
however,the last straw came when last year she shot straight into my face telling me she dosent like short guys in a scarcastic manner
she too mentioned that I'm shorter than her[she juz got a bf at that time and purpose of me askign was to ask why i didnt stood a chance along]
as far as I know..i'm 1.7 and taller than her
I muz say shes not a bad gal but perhaps all this long courting has made her iritated so she wanted to be blunt
this was around dec2005
[she had an ex b4 and at that time i too was intrested in her but got rejected oso,thats was jan2005]
[her bf had sex with ex b4]
now its mid 2006 and i've given up
I've given up since 3 months back
now i felt happy for her decesion,perhaps i dun feel anything
however,i do see a tremendous change in me...negative
Now,inside me i hate this grudge against gals
a very strong hate[not extreme as in shuning them but holding a grudge against gals bcuz of what gal A have done
Whenever,I someone who i think i'll b intrested,I tell myself not to initial anything with her[eg.trying to get closer]
Also,when other gals tried to express intrests in me,i'll try to ignore and juz let them fade off
it's like i'm hanging on to my ego
In the past,i've tried so hard courting a gal but in the end i got slam striaght in the face and not the mention that her bf had sex with ex's b4
This made me felt unfair that such a bastard is able to get a nice gal
now of corse this whole experiences has made me grow
but the growth stem from the bitterness and hatred towards the opposite gender which has made me realise how unfair this world is
Now,i'm juz someone who dosent want to get into a relationship[suppose i'm intrested in another gal] bcuz of what have happen and a guy who places material and acheivement in utmost importance
whenever i thought
of courting another gal,my pride comes into the pic and then i'll juz tell myself this is juz another abc relationship that'll juz eventually not work out juz lyk what happen to most other ppl
Of course the feeling of beign is love is honey
but the state i'm in and my past seem to forbade me from getting to know other gals on a relationship level
what i'm seekign here is not the'since she dun like u,move on'
cuz i've already mvoe on but it comes with the negative changes
I'm no longer the childish kid who laugh all day but one whos mature to a leve of placing $ and work b4 play to the extreme[i'm probaly even more mature than her in terms of thinking']
Anyone can tell me whats the reasons regarding the change in me?
i need serious and mature answers
i no longer smile much now and the large circle of friends i have,i only chose some which are worthy and hangout with.
btw I'm aquarius and born on 14/2/89
Bro!!! I'm Aquarius also! I nvr believed in Zodiac signs but I can see alot of similarities between u n me in my younger years. Maybe its just luck that I read such an interesting post and find my 'younger' me posting. haha..
Anyway young man, take heart! I wun provide you with advice like what 90% of the people here will say. I will tell you what 1% of the people will say or are doing but nvr say at all. What you choose to do is up to you, but I believe that with such hunger and passion in a warp way, you'll succeed well. Do know that doing the same as 90% of the population will make u end up like 90% of the world - the average joe. Not that there's anything wrong about that, but it's up to personal choice. Anyway, the focus is on you.
I sense great disturbance and instability in you. You can get to the root of this problem in 2 ways like what Yunhaier has said: Be the nice person or be a fucked up person. Well, I give you the 3rd choice, focus on something greater. I dun mean religion, but something just greater.
You have 2 issues here
1) Women
2) Money and power goals
WomenMany men make the mistake or we all have made the mistake of focusing on 1 one girl. Please don't do that. She's not even your wife or serious girlfriend who has sacrificed much for you. What you are actually doing is putting the pussy on a pedestal. Or in slang words, you have suffered the curse of the one-itis. Go google n see what it means

But anyway, I'm glad it's over. But really, such animosity is not needed. Such feelings of grudges or anger will only eat you up inside. You must have a confident and very positive outlook in life. Young man, there are 6 billion pple in the world. let's say 3 billion women, let's say 2.5million women.. let's say 500,000 women whom you are eligible to chase. And you are bearing a grudge over 1 woman? I hope she's damn hot and so seductive or damn charmer man. Coz I wun give such a woman these days such attention if it's not reciprocated. Anyway it's only 1 girl. There are definitely plenty others out there.
Believe me when I say i was alot like you during my younger years. But really, love is a numbers game. Never chase 1 girl at 1 time, you lose focus of the bigger picture and you get too emotionally attached. Unhealthy. It's pretty much like investing and sales, you dun depend your success on only 1 entity. Young man, you must go n meet more women out there. Keep an open mind, if you got chance, ask one of your older frens, bring you to see geylang and open eyes. You'll be surprised and open your mind immediately that hey, you are over-reacting when it comes to women. Sad to say, and still the truth, we men still run the world. So pls act like you are the alpha male and be proud of who you are.
Money and PowerThere's nothing wrong with your goals. I'll tell you that it's healthy and good. In fact, you are embracing a man's natural affinity for power. Remember, doing wat 90% of the rest of the pple do will only give you the same results as 90% of the pple. No one aims to be poor but 80% of the world will only control 20% of the world's wealth. Most will be struggling financially, living from paycheck to paycheck, some living on handouts and only the minority few will enjoy immense wealth. At 17 yrs old to have such thinking.. good! But thoughts without plans and actions is useless. Are you working now or studying still? Ifyou are studying, continue to study hard, read mroe business and self-improvement books on how to achieve more.
When you are rich, you'll definitely have power and women will come, dun worry. Your problem then is worrying about quality of women. Now you have to worry about quantity and quality. Why not focus your attention on improving yourself? Remember I talked about focusing on a bigger picture in life? Focus on your career/dream/idea. Go to bed each nite thinking how you have improved, wake up each morning wondering how you can improve for the day. Everything starts in small steps my young man.
Money is not evil. Money is everything. Everything - happiness, joy, security, freedom.. They all lie on the foundation of being financially secure. I dare anyone to reject my point by thinking about whether they still got time to thinking about posting on SGforums if their stomachs r empty, bills to pay, debts to settle etc. Money is the root of everything you see in life. But it's a merely a tool. Respect it and harness its power, in turn, you'll be rewarded immensely.
Remeber, no one dreams to be poor yet 80% will nvr be rich in their life. What would you do now? I admit I carry very strong, extremist views of my personal life but that's because I'm one who goes all out to achieve what I want and desire in life. I am willing to take time to post this as I see alot of myself in this post during my younger years. Back then I didn't have anyone to show me how I should embrace my destiny. I struggled thru life by myself and had to figure out my lifes journey and direction by myself. I'm very happy I made such choices and take each day with such hunger and passion to achieve more.
You can either think hard about what I say, or follow others, or find your own path. But hey, remember, doing what 90% of the rest of the pple do will give you the same results which 90% of the pple attain - The average joe. Nothing wrong. But it's a personal choice. You choose now.
All the best.