to wait or nt 2 wait??
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i have a problem, which i have been into depression..
i recently broke up w my gf. she is 16 n i m 24.. so there is 8 years age gap.. furthermore, this is a long distance r/s as she is living in indonesia.. she is an australian, a mixed of aussie n indonesian. her aussie dad runs a business there
i met her over there when i go to indonesia for voluntary community services. we first met at the welcome party, where she asked me for a dance.. after that we hit off veri well n chat 4 hours .. u can say it is love at first sight..
for next 2 wks, i cant stop thinking about her.. at farewell party, we meet again.. tis time, i planned to tel her how much i missed her coz i will not have the chance to say.. but in the end, she said it first.. she said she have been missing me n confess she love me alot.. i was surprized but so i asked her to be my gf.. n she agreed straightaway..
back in spore, we emailed n called her everyday.. imagine how expensive my hp bill.. record is $350.. it went on quite well 4 2 mths..
until her parents noe our r/s.. her parents disapproved our r/s saying she is too young n wan her to break up w me.. so of course, we broke up in the end..
her parents only allow her to have r/s when she is at least 18.. so i said i will wait 4 her but she told me nt to wait 4 her as it is unfair 4 me n her to wait 4 each other as in 2 yrs, feelings can change... i oso asked her whether if she love me.. she wil not give her answer as her answer wil make me wan 2 wait 4 her..
so is it she still love me?? shd i wait 2 yrs 4 her.. or shd i move on.. i m v confused over this.. now we r still frenz, still communicate over email n phone as usual.. n in july, i m going back 2 c her again..
although we r frenz now, but in my heart, i nv treat her as my frenz, still treat her as my gf.. hoping one day we will be together again...
if u al read til this sentence, thanks 4 having the patience 2read such essay.. pls advise me wat shd i do? thanks -
sorry this isn't going to sound nice
my first impression when i read this post: im skeptical of yoiur relationship as the age gap is too great, moreover your gf is only 16. plus this is a long distance relationship
at 16, she gets to meet many other guys and MIGHT want to experience more
its going to be difficult handling a long dist r/s because as she said, feelings will change more so when you are younger and want to see and know more
hang on that is just my opinion
anyway, i think you should just move on
you're not young anymore and you will definitely meet someelse whom you might find more compatible for you
take some time to get over your feelings for her
then you should move on
good luck -
this is the kind of situation that my mum would go:
"Let time tell, if there is fate, 2 will meet again."
Well for me it doesn't go this way.
If i really love this girl, I'll give it my all.
Everything.
Its all about how you treat this relationship.
depends on what kind of people are you.
Some people think its waste of a time,
If i were you i would say go.
No matter how hard,
Cause you know who you belong to.
Knowing your way is the only thing you can do for now.
Because if you don't know your way,
No matter how hard u try you never get anywhere....
well this is my advice, lengthy eh ? -
she is 16?
kai xiao lai.
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Hmm... Are you saying that your problem is getting you into depression or you had depression before...?Originally posted by petanque:i have a problem, which i have been into depression..
i recently broke up w my gf. she is 16 n i m 24.. so there is 8 years age gap.. furthermore, this is a long distance r/s as she is living in indonesia.. she is an australian, a mixed of aussie n indonesian. her aussie dad runs a business there
i met her over there when i go to indonesia for voluntary community services. we first met at the welcome party, where she asked me for a dance.. after that we hit off veri well n chat 4 hours .. u can say it is love at first sight..
for next 2 wks, i cant stop thinking about her.. at farewell party, we meet again.. tis time, i planned to tel her how much i missed her coz i will not have the chance to say.. but in the end, she said it first.. she said she have been missing me n confess she love me alot.. i was surprized but so i asked her to be my gf.. n she agreed straightaway..
back in spore, we emailed n called her everyday.. imagine how expensive my hp bill.. record is $350.. it went on quite well 4 2 mths..
until her parents noe our r/s.. her parents disapproved our r/s saying she is too young n wan her to break up w me.. so of course, we broke up in the end..
her parents only allow her to have r/s when she is at least 18.. so i said i will wait 4 her but she told me nt to wait 4 her as it is unfair 4 me n her to wait 4 each other as in 2 yrs, feelings can change... i oso asked her whether if she love me.. she wil not give her answer as her answer wil make me wan 2 wait 4 her..
so is it she still love me?? shd i wait 2 yrs 4 her.. or shd i move on.. i m v confused over this.. now we r still frenz, still communicate over email n phone as usual.. n in july, i m going back 2 c her again..
although we r frenz now, but in my heart, i nv treat her as my frenz, still treat her as my gf.. hoping one day we will be together again...
if u al read til this sentence, thanks 4 having the patience 2read such essay.. pls advise me wat shd i do? thanks -
No one knows what the future holds.
People do change, feelings too..
No one can tell u what to do.
She's still so young and the gap is quite wide.
By the time u wana settle down and have a family, is she the one that will settle down with u?
Ask urself, what if 2 years later, u find out that u have waited in vain, how would u react? Would u blame her? -
reminds me of that song..que sera sera, whatever will be will be..
well, wait if u wish, but if u dont want to wait, then dont regret it later -
thks, guys
i guess i will juz let nature take its course.. i will stil wait n c but not keep my doors closed.. mayb there is another gal waiting.. Life stil muz go on.. -
Frankly, the way i see it is.. you need not do or think about anything.
Its easy to say but its the only way. Not to get caught between 2 extremes in which at this instant there is no answer.
Which is why FATE runs in.
So despite the fact u'd be doing nothing (pertaining to this girl).. if FATE allows it, mabbe by then u can start thinking/planning.
Until then, do keep brushing up ur skills.. be it social skills, cooking or keeping fit and positive. Life works in strange ways. Some gals are destined to appear at a segment of your life. Some are destined to be friends.. but you only need one to spend the rest of your life with.
It took me 26 years to finally find someone. Where does this road leads to, only time will tell. And I didnt plan on this. It just happened.
So you see, life works in very mysterious ways. U cant control what happens outside, but you definitely can control your own life. Go out, meet more people, gain broader perspective on life, be respected by your peers .
All the best to you
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i guess you can continue to live your life...do not be tied down by this relationship and think that "OH...love is romantic...i will wait for her till she turn 18 or so...its so romantic"...
you situation is that you are far apart and you do not see each other everyday...you might meet some other girls someday and she might meet other guys another day too...it won't be fair if she would forgo a potential relationship in indonesia just because you and her promised to wait for each other...its a similar situation for you...
2 years is not long...nor its short...so you can probably wait and see what happens...however...you must let her know that if she finds another suitable guy...she will not need to follow the promise you all made...similar for you...but break it to her peacefully if not she might think you are having a change of heart...explain to her its for her benefit cos you dun wanna hold her back on anything...
you never know..maybe tml you will meet another girl of your dreams...so would she...