shyness
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i have just finished dinner with a group of people whom i do not know well. Bascially, most of the people do not know each other well... but they have no problem getting know with each other.. while i keep quiet...
i know im being inactive... half of me wana to get to know them while other half of me do not want to do there... " like why should i ? " in my mind...
tmr i will have to meet them again but how to break free from there inactive mindset.. and their mindset
" if u behave quietly, people are condition to react accordingly " i worry that they will have there mindset when they see me tmr... then i can't be natural in opening myself up.. help -
its the same for me oso.. with new ppl. nothing to talk about, so keep quiet lor..
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I don't want to keep quiet anymore.. i want to get to know those people.. but im so resistant to changes.. that i can't open up myself up..
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actually i oso dunnoe wad shld u do to open up.. hahaha...Originally posted by skyliner_:I don't want to keep quiet anymore.. i want to get to know those people.. but im so resistant to changes.. that i can't open up myself up.. -
Well you can start off by talking to them about wat you really enjoy doing. Example : the sport you enjoy playing or the computer game you love playing. This is the safest cause you will surely have a lot of things to talk about. But most importantly you should stay hyper and keep talking to them. All the best.
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I duno why.. I am a very shy and quiet person.. but then sometimes to strangers or people I first met, I can hit it off very well with them, can be talkative and joke with them. But to classmates or friend's frens, sometimes I juz dun seem to be able to initiate a chat with them.
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u should open up and start a conversation. let them know u first then you all will definately start to mingle.
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Just talk. Never mind what you think what they might think... It's just an assumption on your part. It's never fair to 'die' on such assumptions...Originally posted by skyliner_:I don't want to keep quiet anymore.. i want to get to know those people.. but im so resistant to changes.. that i can't open up myself up..
So if a person doesn't speak the 1st time you met him, can you safely assume that he's a mute? -
gonna break the ice..
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haha.. i'm rather reserved and distant towards strangers. some can even call me dao. wth...
but then, it just takes a tiny effort for others to speak to me more. i'll be very open to them liao. most of the time it's them doing the initiation. nothing wrong being the quiet sort.
just have to know when to talk when to shut up can liao. -
yep i also duno why i can't really find anything to speak with...even classmates...only those that i'm very close with will know my true character...
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an ice-breaker is always the key...try to make a funny remark while at the same time don't embarrass yourself...
a joke or something funny is always useful...
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Don't be afraid to be embarrassed, and don't worry about others making you the butt of the joke.
If anything negative happens, take it in your stride and turn it into something funny and make them laugh!
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you shld know what type of pp you are meeting right? I dont know what you meant by pp you dont really know...
well, lots of things to talk abt....If business, talk abt recent plunge in STI.
If casual, talk abt recent movies like da vinci and X-men III...
or sports, hobbies, personal work and gossips, or any plans you might have to go on a holiday, or ask pp for opinion of stuffs...
so many things to break the ice... -
Watch some Jacky Wu shows. =P Learn to be as crappy, but know the limits! Cracking jokes is always a good way to engage people.
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I think that if you were to look approachable, and were a great listener, that would be nice. I have this friend who is quite shy, and quiet, but she is a great listener and quite soothing.
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Originally posted by hyperactivechatterbox:I think that if you were to look approachable, and were a great listener, that would be nice. I have this friend who is quite shy, and quiet, but she is a great listener and quite soothing.
Shy? Maybe me oso..
I don't know how to..
perhaps I'm afraid i do the wrong things
say the words i regret later..
Is this normal?....that was fifty years ago..
Now I 'm just the opposite.. and wish i was that shy and reserved
ppl change over time..there's always will be another time as
we grow up..
I learning making mistakes is just part of the learning process call
''growing up''...
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Well, i can kinda relate to you. Sometimes when i'm put into a group of people, i'll tend to feel very sian and don't want to talk. Most of the time while everyone is talking, my mind will be drifting off to gf and other stuff. So usually, i am quiet and reserved.
But i find it helps alot to pretend to be enthusiastic. Laugh alot. And basically, act like you're having a good time. It's tiring, but that's how the world is-Hypocritical.
But usually, i only pretend enthusiastic when i know i'm gonna be stuck with this group of people for sometime, e.g. classmates. Else, i'll just be myself and be uninterested.