The relationship problems thread
-
Hi, after reading this forum for so long i just felt like sharing my experiences and how to handle them.. please do add your own comments and suggestions
Courtship and wooing:
Remember that song that starts " Wise men say.. only fools rush in.." .. yeah those wise men are right.. take your time! Be >>PATIENT<< and get to know your interest really well before u commit. If you 2 are meant to be together it will work out by itself. Don't need too many tactics... Oh yeah, stay away from people that already have bf/gf, trust me its very time consuming and very messy.. even if u have loads of time u can do something more productive.
Breakup:
This is how it goes Sadness --> Denial --> Acceptance. Get over sadness by being with your friends and doing things that are enjoyable. Denial is something time will heal.. when u have the urge to call ur EX .. dont! Assign a friend u can call instead. Don't try getting back! Just delete every single contact.. all the photos.. all the letters and be brave. After all this comes acceptance, and you will look back and learn that you have grown stronger.. next breakup will be easier to handle then the last.
In general:
There are always better people out there.. that will depend on your changing needs towards a relationship. Always be optimistic.. do not dwell on any negative thoughts. Never let your Girl/Boy R/S be the center of your life, have a good balance! Don't need to worry about meeting Mr or Mrs perfect.. its funny but fate will bring u to him/her eventually.
Keep all these things in mind and good luck to ur relationships!!! -
Well said but easier said than done . Also, i dont believe in fate but effort ..
-
Yes...I think there is too many bullshit abt fate and zero efforts that bring together a couple which results so many single in sg. Those who believe in fate and not doing anything abt their lovelife is just trying avoid their zero courtship skill and the inabilites to search for their true love!Originally posted by forfun_cash:Well said but easier said than done . Also, i dont believe in fate but effort .. -
This is amusing =) in red.Originally posted by V1NS@niTY:Hi, after reading this forum for so long i just felt like sharing my experiences and how to handle them.. please do add your own comments and suggestions
Courtship and wooing:
Remember that song that starts " Wise men say.. only fools rush in.." .. yeah those wise men are right.. take your time! Be >>PATIENT<< and get to know your interest really well before u commit. If you 2 are meant to be together it will work out by itself. Don't need too many tactics... Oh yeah, stay away from people that already have bf/gf, trust me its very time consuming and very messy.. even if u have loads of time u can do something more productive.
Breakup:
This is how it goes Sadness --> Denial --> Acceptance. Get over sadness by being with your friends and doing things that are enjoyable. Denial is something time will heal.. when u have the urge to call ur EX .. dont! Assign a friend u can call instead. Don't try getting back! Just delete every single contact.. all the photos.. all the letters and be brave. After all this comes acceptance, and you will look back and learn that you have grown stronger.. next breakup will be easier to handle then the last.
In general:
There are always better people out there.. that will depend on your changing needs towards a relationship. Always be optimistic.. do not dwell on any negative thoughts. Never let your Girl/Boy R/S be the center of your life, have a good balance! Don't need to worry about meeting Mr or Mrs perfect.. its funny but fate will bring u to him/her eventually.
Keep all these things in mind and good luck to ur relationships!!!
You have some points here.
Yet....
Looking over at the Denial Factor and General.
If you put in fate, and more about putting yourself into preparations,
its ur to you but, Not to be advise about it.
If you are preparing yourself, for a forecoming,
YOu will miss the opportunity to enhance the relationship ? -
there is no cut and dry solution to R/s issues
-
CHEEM....Originally posted by Sekundes:This is amusing =) in red.
You have some points here.
Yet....
Looking over at the Denial Factor and General.
If you put in fate, and more about putting yourself into preparations,
its ur to you but, Not to be advise about it.
If you are preparing yourself, for a forecoming,
YOu will miss the opportunity to enhance the relationship ? -
hmm....
It's not wise to generalise relationships experiences.
::: cynical?
Cheers -
u have ur points.Originally posted by V1NS@niTY:Hi, after reading this forum for so long i just felt like sharing my experiences and how to handle them.. please do add your own comments and suggestions
Courtship and wooing:
Remember that song that starts " Wise men say.. only fools rush in.." .. yeah those wise men are right.. take your time! Be >>PATIENT<< and get to know your interest really well before u commit. If you 2 are meant to be together it will work out by itself. Don't need too many tactics... Oh yeah, stay away from people that already have bf/gf, trust me its very time consuming and very messy.. even if u have loads of time u can do something more productive.
Breakup:
This is how it goes Sadness --> Denial --> Acceptance. Get over sadness by being with your friends and doing things that are enjoyable. Denial is something time will heal.. when u have the urge to call ur EX .. dont! Assign a friend u can call instead. Don't try getting back! Just delete every single contact.. all the photos.. all the letters and be brave. After all this comes acceptance, and you will look back and learn that you have grown stronger.. next breakup will be easier to handle then the last.
In general:
There are always better people out there.. that will depend on your changing needs towards a relationship. Always be optimistic.. do not dwell on any negative thoughts. Never let your Girl/Boy R/S be the center of your life, have a good balance! Don't need to worry about meeting Mr or Mrs perfect.. its funny but fate will bring u to him/her eventually.
Keep all these things in mind and good luck to ur relationships!!!
but i would rather say that one must really test his/her feelings before going into a r/s. must discern between a crush/infatuation or a real/genuine love.
must also know what is love and what is lust.
however, that said, boy-girl r/s is just like a deeper form of friendship forged between a dating couple. so during the period of dating is advisable to look out for common goals/vision, compromising stances, communication ease, qualities and whether u r able to live with/tolerate the person u r dating.
love is blind when u r married.
love is not blind when u r dating. always open ur eyes wide.
i would say that fate itself is not enuff.
humour, effort and persistence are the basic keys to winning a girl over... for men.
understanding, courage and personality are the basic keys to winning a guy over... for ladies. -
I agree with u tat but i would lik to add on..sometimes a couple hav fate n we need to cherish n nourish and maintain it...time, effort, giv n take..alot of work to be done !!!Originally posted by forfun_cash:Well said but easier said than done . Also, i dont believe in fate but effort .. -
I tot it's the opposite?Originally posted by Gwangetto:u have ur points.
but i would rather say that one must really test his/her feelings before going into a r/s. must discern between a crush/infatuation or a real/genuine love.
must also know what is love and what is lust.
however, that said, boy-girl r/s is just like a deeper form of friendship forged between a dating couple. so during the period of dating is advisable to look out for common goals/vision, compromising stances, communication ease, qualities and whether u r able to live with/tolerate the person u r dating.
love is blind when u r married.
love is not blind when u r dating. always open ur eyes wide.
i would say that fate itself is not enuff.
humour, effort and persistence are the basic keys to winning a girl over... for men.
understanding, courage and personality are the basic keys to winning a guy over... for ladies.
I always hear those married women say things like..
"My hubby used to say I'm chubby when we were courting. Now after married, he said I'm swollen."
-
omg. i hope he's only joking.Originally posted by browniebaobao:I tot it's the opposite?
I always hear those married women say things like..
"My hubby used to say I'm chubby when we were courting. Now after married, he said I'm swollen." -
I got a feeling that this thread would be flooded with alot of problems from many people.
-
Originally posted by Gwangetto:omg. i hope he's only joking.
it's true leh.. she always said that. She's my ITE teacher anyway. Still very young, looks like 29 at the most.
haha..
hmm but then I think most guys dun mind waiting for gf to doll up for hours before going out when they are dating. But after married, wait 5 mins also niam liao.
That's what my other married fren told me also. -
hmm.. this is perhaps due to the lack of effort put in by constantly improving themselves and refreshing their romance.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
it's true leh.. she always said that. She's my ITE teacher anyway. Still very young, looks like 29 at the most.
haha..
hmm but then I think most guys dun mind waiting for gf to doll up for hours before going out when they are dating. But after married, wait 5 mins also niam liao.
That's what my other married fren told me also.
u may think that "oh, since both r aging and settled down already, it's time to slack". not exactly, i would say. u may think i'm stressing on perfection in r/s, but my point is that both parties should engage themselves in some activities or romantic activites together occasionally.
it takes a lot of effort to communicate efficiently in a marriage let alone accepting each other's flaws and characters. therefore, it's important that love should not be blind during dating, cos selecting a life partner and deciding whom should one live with will determine a heaven or hell for him/her. -
love shouldn't be blind..
but if one is not blind in a r/s, then is that love? -
love is not merely accepting, nor is it merely being a critic or a cynic at almost anything or faults u can find in a person.Originally posted by browniebaobao:love shouldn't be blind..
but if one is not blind in a r/s, then is that love?
love is basically reaching out to the one u love, bringing care, concern and sharing their ups and downs, good and bad altogether. love is to give and to sacrifice in the expense of urself to the one worthy of ur love.
it's unconditional love that binds a marriage together. btw, i dun believe in divorce so to say.
"love is blind" means that u forgo all forms of faults in a person which is a dangerous thing to do before marriage. one has to open the eyes real big and see if the person is worth living with. otherwise, the marriage is going to disastrous. this act is very irresponsible and a misguided information created by the media itself.
love should not be blind when dating. although u may love the person, but there must be certain boundaries within dating itself. without such rules in the r/s, sadly, it'll not work out. -
Before marriageOriginally posted by browniebaobao:
hmm but then I think most guys dun mind waiting for gf to doll up for hours before going out when they are dating. But after married, wait 5 mins also niam liao.
That's what my other married fren told me also. 
She dresses up for me... I'm in possess of her... Give me face....
After marriage My one already... Still make so pretty for what...? Attract other guys ar....? 
" -
Breakup:
This is how it goes Sadness --> Denial --> Acceptance. Get over sadness by being with your friends and doing things that are enjoyable. Denial is something time will heal.. when u have the urge to call ur EX .. dont! Assign a friend u can call instead. Don't try getting back! Just delete every single contact.. all the photos.. all the letters and be brave. After all this comes acceptance, and you will look back and learn that you have grown stronger.. next breakup will be easier to handle then the last.
yeap... i do agree... no point keeping those memories which will in return hurt you more... if got letters... burn eh... got contacts delete em.... if got photos... post them on porn sites! hahahha
-
patience patience patienceOriginally posted by V1NS@niTY:Hi, after reading this forum for so long i just felt like sharing my experiences and how to handle them.. please do add your own comments and suggestions
Courtship and wooing:
Remember that song that starts " Wise men say.. only fools rush in.." .. yeah those wise men are right.. take your time! Be >>PATIENT<< and get to know your interest really well before u commit. If you 2 are meant to be together it will work out by itself. Don't need too many tactics... Oh yeah, stay away from people that already have bf/gf, trust me its very time consuming and very messy.. even if u have loads of time u can do something more productive.
Breakup:
This is how it goes Sadness --> Denial --> Acceptance. Get over sadness by being with your friends and doing things that are enjoyable. Denial is something time will heal.. when u have the urge to call ur EX .. dont! Assign a friend u can call instead. Don't try getting back! Just delete every single contact.. all the photos.. all the letters and be brave. After all this comes acceptance, and you will look back and learn that you have grown stronger.. next breakup will be easier to handle then the last.
In general:
There are always better people out there.. that will depend on your changing needs towards a relationship. Always be optimistic.. do not dwell on any negative thoughts. Never let your Girl/Boy R/S be the center of your life, have a good balance! Don't need to worry about meeting Mr or Mrs perfect.. its funny but fate will bring u to him/her eventually.
Keep all these things in mind and good luck to ur relationships!!!