hw 2 break off....
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i've been in a relatnshp 4 2yrs plus. initially i nvr tot this relatnshp wil wrk out. i tot it wuld b like any other relatnshp of mine tt lasted nothin longer dan 3mths. yet, this present bf of mine grew so attached 2 me tt he dun wan 2 let go. i'm his 1st gf.. n i guess, mayb tt is e reason y he is so 'sticky'. errr.. hw shuld i xplain dis.. he'd wan 2 noe whereva i go, whoeva i go out with, wadeva i do.. n if i m gg 2 ignore him 4 a few days, he mt juz get sensitv n cry.. thinkin tt i mt nt wan him anymore. he dun hve his own grp of fwens.. n tt is y he mt demand me 2 spend loads of time w him. sumtimes he seems 2b more like a burden dan a bf..
aft being w him 4 like a yr.. i concluded we r wrlds apart.. he is e homely kind.. who juz wan 2 laze n hides in his comfort zone.. yet i m sum1 who goes out alot.. sum1 who hve a big circle of fwens.. n quite a couple of close ones tt i hanged out alot with..
thru dis yr, i've been tinkin abt hw 2 break up w him. given sum serious tots, i dun tink its wise tt i hold on 2 dis relatnshp..
my fwens advised me 2 juz tok 2 him n break off.. n i argee tt i shud nt drag on anymore. but, i reali duno hw 2 tel him. he mt juz break down, n i seriously duno hw bad e situatn wil gt.
hw shud i tel him.. wad shud i do.. shud i juz hold on 2 it.. pretendin tt we can juz try 2 gt along..
*sigh*
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~*And the stars just sit there and glimmer like they don't notice how we're dying inside, and the rain still pours and mocks us in our deaths, and the world goes on when all the hearts are broken.*~ -
hmm.... hmm... i guess it's more of a companionship rather than a relationship..
how to break up with him... i really dunno... -
Try your last shot at working things out with him lor. He should at least be told that the r/ship is on the rocks and he should make a conscious effort to change. Tell him you need more time for yourself and your friends, and that he is being quite possesive lately. Tell him if he wants this r/ship to work out, he has to give you more space to breathe. See what his response. He either gets the hint and forces himself to give your more space to breathe, or he takes the hint wrongly and thinks you are trying to break up with him. Either way is advantageous to you.
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Assuming that you've already done some serious thinking on your part and have already determined that this relationship is not for you, it's IMPORTANT to let him understand your stand and be FRANK and HONEST with him about how you feel and how you view this relationship...Originally posted by *|azy:i've been in a relatnshp 4 2yrs plus. initially i nvr tot this relatnshp wil wrk out. i tot it wuld b like any other relatnshp of mine tt lasted nothin longer dan 3mths. yet, this present bf of mine grew so attached 2 me tt he dun wan 2 let go. i'm his 1st gf.. n i guess, mayb tt is e reason y he is so 'sticky'. errr.. hw shuld i xplain dis.. he'd wan 2 noe whereva i go, whoeva i go out with, wadeva i do.. n if i m gg 2 ignore him 4 a few days, he mt juz get sensitv n cry.. thinkin tt i mt nt wan him anymore. he dun hve his own grp of fwens.. n tt is y he mt demand me 2 spend loads of time w him. sumtimes he seems 2b more like a burden dan a bf..
aft being w him 4 like a yr.. i concluded we r wrlds apart.. he is e homely kind.. who juz wan 2 laze n hides in his comfort zone.. yet i m sum1 who goes out alot.. sum1 who hve a big circle of fwens.. n quite a couple of close ones tt i hanged out alot with..
thru dis yr, i've been tinkin abt hw 2 break up w him. given sum serious tots, i dun tink its wise tt i hold on 2 dis relatnshp..
my fwens advised me 2 juz tok 2 him n break off.. n i argee tt i shud nt drag on anymore. but, i reali duno hw 2 tel him. he mt juz break down, n i seriously duno hw bad e situatn wil gt.
hw shud i tel him.. wad shud i do.. shud i juz hold on 2 it.. pretendin tt we can juz try 2 gt along..
*sigh*
But BEFORE you do all this, please be REMINDED once again to be CERTAIN of your decision... Why were you with him in the 1st place? Has the relationship already lost its value? Is there anyway to recover things? Would you regret upon your decision..? And finally, UNDERSTAND that you are most probably not gonna meet your MR PERFECT in the future?
How old are you by the way?
Is you find that settling down (or being tied down) is not for you and you wish to have more relationships or to enjoy your freedom and life more try to (1)reach a BALANCE if you find that there're valid reason(s) that you should hold on to the relationship, (2)make a CLEAN CLEAR break by understanding the price of it and the pain you're gonna cause (but if you're thinking of the FURTHER PAIN the relationship might bring the two of you, in a sense, I can AGREE with you..), (3) FLASH RED LIGHT by declaring your stand to him if you're uncertain or find that there's a chance the relationship should or might continue...
In (1), try to make negotiation with him to allow you MORE FREEDOM and perhaps make him participate more widely in your life so that he can share it or be a more sociable person? See if he can accept such changes (or at least he try?) and make him learn to appreciate your life and in another sense, understands and appreciates you even more..? If proven to be invalid method, you might wanna consider (2) or (3)?
In (2), if you're CERTAIN in your DECISION. Be FIRM and let him UNDERSTAND the whole picture. But try NOT to drag the situation by thinking about how would he feels and possibility of turning back thing? Make things CLEAR to him... BREAK OFF... Can listen to his side of the story just to let him relieve himself and get the burden off.. But before you agree to listen to his story, make him understand that there won't be turning back... The 'story-telling' thing is not a CHANCE for him to return...
In (3), make him UNDERSTAND your stand and how things might turn out to be if going for the WORSE. At this point, please note that you might be putting yourself in a vulnerable position? Be careful.... Try to calm him down and let him make MINOR CHANGES and take things easily(?).... Try NOT to accept if he's making DRASTIC CHANGES for you... It's won't last... It most probably won't work too... Probably out of desperation...
Last words... If you've DECIDED that it's a CLEAR BREAK, don't DRAG... Don't TOY with his feelings... If you do, you're putting him into further misery and yourself into TROUBLE...?
Good luck to BOTH of you..? -
yah... i really agree to devil.
dunno if you will regret after your break up... but u might truly enjoy ur single life after ur broke off...
it's either to be cruel to yourself or to him...... haizzz -
Assuming that you've already done some serious thinking on your part and have already determined that this relationship is not for you, it's IMPORTANT to let him understand your stand and be FRANK and HONEST with him about how you feel and how you view this relationship...Originally posted by Devil1976:[QUOTE]Originally posted by *|azy:
[b]i've been in a relatnshp 4 2yrs plus. initially i nvr tot this relatnshp wil wrk out. i tot it wuld b like any other relatnshp of mine tt lasted nothin longer dan 3mths. yet, this present bf of mine grew so attached 2 me tt he dun wan 2 let go. i'm his 1st gf.. n i guess, mayb tt is e reason y he is so 'sticky'. errr.. hw shuld i xplain dis.. he'd wan 2 noe whereva i go, whoeva i go out with, wadeva i do.. n if i m gg 2 ignore him 4 a few days, he mt juz get sensitv n cry.. thinkin tt i mt nt wan him anymore. he dun hve his own grp of fwens.. n tt is y he mt demand me 2 spend loads of time w him. sumtimes he seems 2b more like a burden dan a bf..
aft being w him 4 like a yr.. i concluded we r wrlds apart.. he is e homely kind.. who juz wan 2 laze n hides in his comfort zone.. yet i m sum1 who goes out alot.. sum1 who hve a big circle of fwens.. n quite a couple of close ones tt i hanged out alot with..
thru dis yr, i've been tinkin abt hw 2 break up w him. given sum serious tots, i dun tink its wise tt i hold on 2 dis relatnshp..
my fwens advised me 2 juz tok 2 him n break off.. n i argee tt i shud nt drag on anymore. but, i reali duno hw 2 tel him. he mt juz break down, n i seriously duno hw bad e situatn wil gt.
hw shud i tel him.. wad shud i do.. shud i juz hold on 2 it.. pretendin tt we can juz try 2 gt along..
*sigh*
But BEFORE you do all this, please be REMINDED once again to be CERTAIN of your decision... Why were you with him in the 1st place? Has the relationship already lost its value? Is there anyway to recover things? Would you regret upon your decision..? And finally, UNDERSTAND that you are most probably not gonna meet your MR PERFECT in the future?
How old are you by the way? Is you find that settling down (or being tied down) is not for you and you wish to have more relationships or to enjoy your freedom and life more try to (1)reach a BALANCE if you find that there're valid reason(s) that you should hold on to the relationship, (2)make a CLEAN CLEAR break by understanding the price of it and the pain you're gonna cause (but if you're thinking of the FURTHER PAIN the relationship might bring the two of you, in a sense, I can AGREE with you..), (3) FLASH RED LIGHT by declaring your stand to him if you're uncertain or find that there's a chance the relationship should or might continue...
In (1), try to make negotiation with him to allow you MORE FREEDOM and perhaps make him participate more widely in your life so that he can share it or be a more sociable person? See if he can accept such changes (or at least he try?) and make him learn to appreciate your life and in another sense, understands and appreciates you even more..? If proven to be invalid method, you might wanna consider (2) or (3)?
In (2), if you're CERTAIN in your DECISION. Be FIRM and let him UNDERSTAND the whole picture. But try NOT to drag the situation by thinking about how would he feels and possibility of turning back thing? Make things CLEAR to him... BREAK OFF... Can listen to his side of the story just to let him relieve himself and get the burden off.. But before you agree to listen to his story, make him understand that there won't be turning back... The 'story-telling' thing is not a CHANCE for him to return...
In (3), make him UNDERSTAND your stand and how things might turn out to be if going for the WORSE. At this point, please note that you might be putting yourself in a vulnerable position? Be careful.... Try to calm him down and let him make MINOR CHANGES and take things easily(?).... Try NOT to accept if he's making DRASTIC CHANGES for you... It's won't last... It most probably won't work too... Probably out of desperation...
Last words... If you've DECIDED that it's a CLEAR BREAK, don't DRAG... Don't TOY with his feelings... If you do, you're putting him into further misery and yourself into TROUBLE...?
Good luck to BOTH of you..?[/B][/QUOTE]
thnx.. diz helps..
------------------
~*And the stars just sit there and glimmer like they don't notice how we're dying inside, and the rain still pours and mocks us in our deaths, and the world goes on when all the hearts are broken.*~ -
I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
shut up when I'm talking to you
By Linkin Park
------------------
I awake to see that no one is free,
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way with it.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no. -
have u given yourslef to him?
------------------
Should I Tell Her?
Or Should I Let Her Go? -
what if she has given and what if she hasn't?
------------------Originally posted by bigdeal:have u given yourslef to him?
I awake to see that no one is free,
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way with it.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no. -
Everybody who is considering a break up should always ask this question. Well said Devil...Originally posted by Devil1976:Why were you with him in the 1st place -
well i guess IF you have ALREADY made up your mind, then there is no point in dragging this on much longer. 2 years is already a long time and the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to let go and it will hardly do any justice to both of you. then both of you will juz be in the relationship for fear of hurting each other and not for each other's happiness, which is truly a sad thing. be honest, and though he will be deeply hurt from wat you described, he will be better off with someone who shares his ideals.
unless, u still wanna give him another shot, u must be prepared to make sacrifices, juz as he will have to do the same. u 2 will need to have a talk on wat u expect out of this and it will not be easy, often hurtful and emotional. but if you 2 do decide to make sacrifices for each other, it might juz bring the relationship to a whole new level which may make it more stronger than it ever was.
either way it is up to u, but it won't be easy, and you have to be mentally prepared for that. -
everytime when i wanna be with someone... i tell myself i want to make this relationship last... tat's y i wanna be with him. But there's always uncertainty in all relationships.
I want to be with someone at the first place coz i love him.... but pple do changes... and somethings are juz not meant to be..??? i dunno
------------------Originally posted by Malbordus:Everybody who is considering a break up should always ask this question. Well said Devil...
I awake to see that no one is free,
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way with it.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no. -
What brings two strangers together and make them fall in love?
And what was it that took away all the love and trust they have for each other?
Is it already time to say goodbye and is breaking up the best way to end all the misery?
------------------
For so long in my life, I wouldn't let love inside
But I swallowed my pride the day you arrived
Now that you're by my side
Everything is all right
It's because of you, I was able to
Give my heart again -
Life is FULL of UNCERTAINTIES....Originally posted by urbanstrawie:everytime when i wanna be with someone... i tell myself i want to make this relationship last... tat's y i wanna be with him. But there's always uncertainty in all relationships.
I want to be with someone at the first place coz i love him.... but pple do changes... and somethings are juz not meant to be..??? i dunno -
It's the ADHERENCE or ATTACHMENT in a relationship... As it goes DEEPER, you either find yourself STICKING to each other or STICKING into each other's flesh... The gap is usually so negligible you see?Originally posted by urbanstrawie:What brings two strangers together and make them fall in love?
And what was it that took away all the love and trust they have for each other?
Is it already time to say goodbye and is breaking up the best way to end all the misery? -
It's the ADHERENCE or ATTACHMENT in a relationship... As it goes DEEPER, you either find yourself STICKING to each other or STICKING into each other's flesh... The gap is usually so negligible you see?[/B][/QUOTE]Originally posted by Devil1976:[QUOTE]Originally posted by urbanstrawie:
[b] What brings two strangers together and make them fall in love?
And what was it that took away all the love and trust they have for each other?
Is it already time to say goodbye and is breaking up the best way to end all the misery?
So at the end of the road is it LOVE? or juz companionship? Does LOVE really last or even exist??? hahahaha silly qn!
------------------
The feeling of lost is when you love someone more than you love yourself... -
Love do exist , only like the lifespan of fireworks and that's why love is so wonderful.... it is not to stay.
------------------
For so long in my life, I wouldn't let love inside
But I swallowed my pride the day you arrived
Now that you're by my side
Everything is all right
It's because of you, I was able to
Give my heart again -
-
What's at the end of the road doesn't really matter in an individual's sense...? It's what you have and have been doing along the road which really counts...? Of course love exist.... Does it last? DEPENDS...?Originally posted by pocketful _of _starz:So at the end of the road is it LOVE? or juz companionship? Does LOVE really last or even exist??? hahahaha silly qn! -
mayb... breakin up mt nt awiz b e BEST solutn.. ??
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yar.. wads at e end of e route doesnt really matter.. at least tts wad i tink so.. its awiz e journey tt matters.. its nt e outcome.. i stil wan 2 believe in LOVE.. it exists.. at least i tink so..Originally posted by Devil1976:What's at the end of the road doesn't really matter in an individual's sense...? It's what you have and have been doing along the road which really counts...? Of course love exist.... Does it last? DEPENDS...? -
personally, i am someone that always believe that since we are not suitable to be together, no matter how long we have been together, i would still wan to seperate.. since i noe that he should not be the one for me so i should continue to search for the right one.. well, not that i am encouraging u to break up wif him, but i also encounter a few of my frens who are in the same situation as u.. one of them has been wif the bf for more than 4 years.. she is so so so sure that she is not going to live wif this man, and that they will surely not be married etc. but she also can't bear to let this r/s go just like that..
wat i can say is that, dun stay on just for the sake of staying on.. i mean dun try to continue this r/s just for the sake of the years that u 2 have been together.. u 2 can easily spend another 2, 3 years together, and at that time.. isnt worse?
gif yourself really some time to think it thru n discuss it thru wif ur bf..
all e best -
Originally posted by ciara:yar.. wads at e end of e route doesnt really matter.. at least tts wad i tink so.. its awiz e journey tt matters.. its nt e outcome.. i stil wan 2 believe in LOVE.. it exists.. at least i tink so.. of coz it do exist !!! I ENJOY FALLIN IN LOVE!!!!!!!
yah... it's not wat you get in the end.. its the journey....
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When can my heart beat again
When does the pain ever end
When do the tears stop from running over
When does "you'll get over it" begin -
i noe the feeling of being tighten by yr bf coz i been this circustance.
Have you been thinking that do u still loves him?
Maybe have a very very good serious talk with him about this matter, if he doesnt listen to u, then throw yr temper at him to show him u r really serious (i believe u had talk to him more that one time). Or write a small note or card to him. Make him understand yr position, voice out my misery and make him understand.
Maybe sudden breakup may not be good to him, have a talk with before coming to conclusion -
u haf been under the same circumstances like her... so haf u thought of breaking up wif ur current stead...
breaking up will alwaz be the best and last solution for a "bitter" relationshp....
anyway, whenever there's a START, there ought to have an END...
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The feeling of lost is when you love someone more than you love yourself...