OFFICE RELATIONSHIP
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The fact you like yr colleague so much is becos you never channel all yr love and attention to yr wife! You say you still love yr wife but yet you are thinking of other woman and it affects you so much that you post it on here and ask for help. Isn't it contradicts what you say? Try to reignite the passion and fire between yr wife and you.
Did u make a effort to please and care for yr wife,make a effort to find back the passion during the courtship? Prepare a nite of spa and romantic dinner at a hotel and give yr wife a big surprise. Or prepare a bonquet of red roses and a home make candle light dinner,then have a good nite of making out! Once with the passion back,u will realise it just factuation for yr colleague!
Good Luck! -
this is not some lust, ons shit, sexual fantasy or a passing infactuation over some pretty and fresh face.
certainly, i am not some young office punk or old fart looking for some flirtatious excitement or adventure in the workplace and i do know the consequences.
well, it makes me feel better by airing out wat has been bothering me for the past one yr.
wat amazes me is that i muz hv gone bonkers to hv posted in the forum.
that's certainly not me. i muz hv hd a drink or two that i've lost my mind.
nevertheless, thnks for those positive and 'awakening' advices.
i will keep the feel in check, that's as far as i could go. i will remind myself of the vow that i hv taken yrs back.
let's close this issue. -
I think first of all, one must accept that regardless of whether you are married or not, you WILL find people who are attractive to you. We are only humans, and if you think you will NEVER see someone you might find likeable, then you have no preparation to face an encounter like this. In fact, I always think it is good to have someone you enjoy looking at while at work. It helps u to want to go to work.
Secondly, I think you need to first address the 'home ground' issue. You may love ur wife now. But trust me, it is very easy for human beings to make 'excuses' to themselves. The moment your wife (also being human presumably) does something that irritates you or frustrates you, you will start to 'explain' to yourself that the whole marriage thing appears to have problems. Previously, you might be pissed off but forgive more easily. But now, you have a reason to not forgive and forget that easily. So what to do?? I agree w above poster that during weekends when not 'affected' by outside attraction, to plan something special for your wife and 'fill' up whatever emptiness you feel inside ur heart and try to enjoy the time spent w ur wife as much as u can. Basically protect ur home ground, make it a pleasant place for yourself
Thirdly, don't think about ... 'this type' and 'that type' Its VERY limiting. Most human imagination have a 'type' that they think is 'ideal' What they don't realise that simply because something don't fit the 'type' doesnt mean it isnt IDEAL for themselves. Most guys would say 'their type' is the type of wife that is sweet, demure, good natured acceptably pretty.. bla bla..but most men don't marry women like this primarily becos MOST women arent sweet, demure, good natured all the time.
For an inexplicable reason, my husband suggests you tell ur wife. (hmmm! He says he would tell me) I think if your wife is that type that can understand what's happening. This might make both of u closer even! Hee... human nature is something that can be rather unpleasant. Helps if both of u learn to stand on the same line to fight against it. -
take a gun n shoot yrself
u r released
so much for wedding vows
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He already says he will fulfil the vow,lets not attack him anymore!Originally posted by Kenashi:take a gun n shoot yrself
u r released
so much for wedding vows 
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i suggest u dun tink too much first cos.... she didnt even say she like u so go back to doing ur job n take care of ur wife...
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go to hell you dickhead...
if you have any brain, use it! stop listening to your dickhead.
you are just horny that's all, stop using excuses like "i just want to talk to her blah blah.. want to see her... blah blah"
Your final objective is just to bed her! Say it! Admit it! You're just plain horny! -
Originally posted by hunter:hi
i am in a fixed.
i think i fell for one of my colleague.
nvr hv i hd that kind of feeling before towards a girl.
the only exception being my wife.
i cant help it, each time or rather every day when i see her, i feel happy and wanted/hv the urge to go up to her and talk to her. sometimes, i just steal glances at her. Sometimes, she will come over and talk to me and I always look towards that.
I know I shouldnt even be thinking about it but i cant help it.
my feelings for her is strong. I really show concern to her.
when she's sick, i ask her to take a day off as i cant bear to see her 'suffer'.
my wife doesnt know and i tell no one.
i feeling very lousy. both she and i are married.
she's the type of girl whom i like and wanted to marry. unfortunately, the woman i married is not my type but we married anyhow because of the special feel we hv for each other. Pls dun be mistaken, I still love my wife very much.
It's just that i cant shake off the 'feel' for this colleague of mine.
i do not know whether she knows i like her or not but women usually have very good instincts. If she knows, then she is putting up a very good show as she doesnt show any annoyance or trying to avoid me. In anycase, she cant avoid me totally cos i am her immediate superior.
I tried not to have such feelings but i just cant seem to be able to 'erase' her fm my mind. I keep thinking about her. I feel the 'lost' when she's on leave. in fact, i hv the urge to hold her and care for her.
i am threading on dangerous ground.
Can the expert advise what shd i do?
I remembered a planetary influence on Love after marriage; it slipped off my mind. Regardless, this is blatantly a karmic relationship. Both are unavailable and you are like trying to help yourself, but circumstances is not very helpful to your solutions.
If circumstances is not helping you, you got to enlighten yourself on why you should maintain professional image and not pursue this potential sub-rosa relationship before it escalate beyond control. It has to be from within because only self enlightenment could save you from degenerating.
Anyone could tell you anything - but I am pretty sure nothing gets into you because it seemed to me that you are resisting it. Somewhere in your subconscious, you may probably and secretly hope that circumstances may lead to something-but-not-yet-destructive-to-your-marriage, but lemme tell you this is the first step to a wrecked marriage.
ShrodingersCat made a very crucial point (you must read her post carefully) - And to place the icing on the cake; you thought you are generally 'manageable' because it is probably only one sided. If she happens to revealed to you that she has fallen for you - probably only divine intervention could save you from this karmic debt.
Knowing about your situation is only one thing - what have you planned to do is another.
One year and you are still stuck in this confusion?
It speaks much about your reluctance and refusal to keep things professional while hoping for 'something' isn't it?
Think about it.
Cheers -
My advice is..
Follow your heart..
As simple as that..
But pls think abt the consequences before u make any major decision..
Gd luck to u.. -
Its great to give advice online since i don't know you personally.
Anyway, i got a great solution! Introduce your wife to your colleque. Let them be best friends! Things will work out by itself. -
not advisable to go into a relationship with somebody at the workplace
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Originally posted by lonestar86:My advice is..
Follow your heart..
As simple as that..
But pls think abt the consequences before u make any major decision..
Gd luck to u.. -
Originally posted by M©+square: Hahahahaha...
I see what you are seeing. 
Cheers -
Yes, you can do whatever your heart desires and there's no right or wrong unless you want to go seek advice from police.
Whether you like her or not doesn't matters at all. Even you aren't sincere towards her and wreck her marriage and yours, it's also your own choice and freedom and free-will. Remember it's your life and there's no gain without putting anything on the line, in this case...it's your marriage against your desires.
Seriously, I don't really know who is truly faithful anymore in this world that we're living in. Regardless of guys or girls, once they met someone better that they like...they will all become selfish and it's very selfish. So it's not surprising that you chose the better between your wife and the married office girl. Got sick of seeing your wife right?
All guys and girls are horny alright, and whoever says they aren't horny can go swear a deadly vow and prepare to go to Hell. Who doesn't feels attracted and desires after someone more attractive and desirable?
One thing though...NEVER tell your wife about this incident. You should and must keep it from her in order to protect her and keep your marriage vows. Cos she will be terribly upset to know about it, and since you should not bring unnecessary emotional upset to her. A Man must know when to lie and when not to lie, and in cases like this...if you should keep it from her to protect her happiness if you still regard her as your wife. She won't tell you anyway if she were in your situation, so don't bring unnecessary emotional pain to anyone.
Since there's no right or wrong in this kind of matters and since it's your own life and future and happiness that's on the line at the moment. You should make your own decision. You will either end up happier next year or more miserable next year. And it's also a good test to see how much resolve you have in yourself and how much you really wanted her to be in your future. Whatever the outcome may be, if you truly love this office woman...you will be ready for any consequences that follows. Who knows? You might not be miserable ultimately and you could very well be happier and living a more fulfilling life together with her.
You can make a decision, but ultimately...it's eventually up to her if she is willing to put her own marriage, happiness and future on the line. Why don't you go and find out for yourself?
Good luck. -
Most ladies like the attention, she might feel flattered that you are showing her attention and so on... but that doesn't mean that she will have an affair with you or go to the extreme to leave her spouse for you.Originally posted by hunter:hi
i am in a fixed.
i think i fell for one of my colleague.
nvr hv i hd that kind of feeling before towards a girl.
the only exception being my wife.
i cant help it, each time or rather every day when i see her, i feel happy and wanted/hv the urge to go up to her and talk to her. sometimes, i just steal glances at her. Sometimes, she will come over and talk to me and I always look towards that.
I know I shouldnt even be thinking about it but i cant help it.
my feelings for her is strong. I really show concern to her.
when she's sick, i ask her to take a day off as i cant bear to see her 'suffer'.
my wife doesnt know and i tell no one.
i feeling very lousy. both she and i are married.
she's the type of girl whom i like and wanted to marry. unfortunately, the woman i married is not my type but we married anyhow because of the special feel we hv for each other. Pls dun be mistaken, I still love my wife very much.
It's just that i cant shake off the 'feel' for this colleague of mine.
i do not know whether she knows i like her or not but women usually have very good instincts. If she knows, then she is putting up a very good show as she doesnt show any annoyance or trying to avoid me. In anycase, she cant avoid me totally cos i am her immediate superior.
I tried not to have such feelings but i just cant seem to be able to 'erase' her fm my mind. I keep thinking about her. I feel the 'lost' when she's on leave. in fact, i hv the urge to hold her and care for her.
i am threading on dangerous ground.
Can the expert advise what shd i do?
From what i sense, this is still one sided on your part, so it is easy to just forget the wrong thing.
harmless flirthinga the workplace is pretty common... so just stick to that... don't go anything beyond what you are doing.
since u r her superior, it is really dangerous grounds... be very careful.
If she is really into you as well, then you should make sure that your "needs" are the same. maybe she only want a "fling" as for you, u r thinking of long term = marriage....
Are u able to accept this?
be careful, i only see heart ache in this. -
Another love story of husband having an affair or going to have an affair. Hey guys, what is the real meaning of marry?
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from most of this kind of "feel" stories, statistically speak :
The d!ck is mightier than the heart and mind.
To me the fellow knows the right and wrong but he will wield the untimate choice. I cannot comment about his entire character but from the short excerpt, he does indicate a weak-character and is easily swayed just by some "feel". I also question his "feel" reasons for getting married - is it selfish or is it even "love". The guys who are weak and give in to satisfy their current wants esentially is undermining his own family life and simply digging his own grave. The Liu Hong Mei case is such a classic with lessons to learn from. I might sound cynical cause most times, advice for these cases always are selective seen and still the man will always commit the wrongs and these men will have a million and one excuses how bad the wife is and etc. (sit around those PRC wh0res and their Ah Peh and you will hear a ton of disgusting complains the men makes while the PRC stuffs her face or spread her legs with disinterest in her eyes except when he hands over his CPF.) There might be a next thread or regrets later. There might be or might not have consequences or the husband becomes good at hiding things and starts to think its easy to con his wife - and continues this lifestyle. However, women are good at detecting these little changes.
Some things when lost, can never be taken back. -
It takes years to build a relationship but it takes only a few min to destroy a relationship. Once a man betray a wife, things will never be the same. Don't ever think that your wife will forgives you. Nope...never fyi women bear grudges.
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i agree to dat statement somehow.Originally posted by mistyblue:from most of this kind of "feel" stories, statistically speak :
The d!ck is mightier than the heart and mind.
To me the fellow knows the right and wrong but he will wield the untimate choice. I cannot comment about his entire character but from the short excerpt, he does indicate a weak-character and is easily swayed just by some "feel". I also question his "feel" reasons for getting married - is it selfish or is it even "love". The guys who are weak and give in to satisfy their current wants esentially is undermining his own family life and simply digging his own grave. The Liu Hong Mei case is such a classic with lessons to learn from. I might sound cynical cause most times, advice for these cases always are selective seen and still the man will always commit the wrongs and these men will have a million and one excuses how bad the wife is and etc. (sit around those PRC wh0res and their Ah Peh and you will hear a ton of disgusting complains the men makes while the PRC stuffs her face or spread her legs with disinterest in her eyes except when he hands over his CPF.) There might be a next thread or regrets later. There might be or might not have consequences or the husband becomes good at hiding things and starts to think its easy to con his wife - and continues this lifestyle. However, women are good at detecting these little changes.
Some things when lost, can never be taken back.