What would you do?
-
You have been trusting this person for the past 12 yrs or more..
you look upon him/her as a sibling, altho u are juz frens.
but suddenly one day u realize that u can't trust him/her anymore..
what would you do?
My heart is aching right now and yet she thinks it's no big deal.
I'm really disheartened. -
If I were in that situation, I would quickly lick my wounds and move on.
I'll continue to be friends with that person, but more distant.
Good luck... -
Stone Cold Steve Austin-DTA
Dun trust anybody -
Did he/she do something wrong? Or are you just thinking too much?
-
Hmmm... I have a friend now. I regard him like a brother already. Sometimes I do wonder what happens if he cannot be trusted anymore.
But I guess it is painful. So the only way is to just distant yourself? -
friendship arent measured by years but trust and bondingsOriginally posted by browniebaobao:You have been trusting this person for the past 12 yrs or more..
you look upon him/her as a sibling, altho u are juz frens.
but suddenly one day u realize that u can't trust him/her anymore..
what would you do?
My heart is aching right now and yet she thinks it's no big deal.
I'm really disheartened. -
Post it on sgforumsOriginally posted by browniebaobao:You have been trusting this person for the past 12 yrs or more..
you look upon him/her as a sibling, altho u are juz frens.
but suddenly one day u realize that u can't trust him/her anymore..
what would you do?
My heart is aching right now and yet she thinks it's no big deal.
I'm really disheartened. -
True.Originally posted by olala:friendship arent measured by years but trust and bondings
I have friends whom i have known for more than 15 years and yet i still can't trust them.
Instead,i chose to trust a friend whom i onli known for 4 years. -
Quarrelled with her last night over her bf.Originally posted by SingaporeMacross:Did he/she do something wrong? Or are you just thinking too much?
I was doing my proj until v bek chek liao, then she came to msn me and tell me about her exs and her current bf.
Apparently i made it clear to her long ago that i dun like him. And she also told me he dun like me too.. so there's mutual resentment. Then last night she told me he's the only one who nv hurt her before. I asked her "are u sure?" then she said ya.. she forgot that she told me he hurt her before, and would nv patch with him again.. but they still patched. Then she said even if she really said that, it was just an excuse. Then carry on telling me many girls admire him la, he's a good man blah blah.. Initially I tot he's good also, but SHE TOLD ME that he helped her to break up with her ex. To me, that's despicable. He break up the 2 of them for his own selfish reason mah.
I always draw a line between our love life. I wun go chup her love life, coz it's too complicated. She always say one thing and does another. The conversation last night.. she denied the fact that she said certain things. Then she said I'm mad etc etc which made me more furious.
Actually lately I have been asking myself whether I can still trust her.. bcos my jie mei told me that she has been hiding things from me or lying to me all these years. They were from the same sec sch. And my buddy's exs were mostly their common frens. She really could not take it anymore, that's why she told me when I pleaded her to. Then I can't help but suspect she purposely made me and my first ex break up, and told me things that she said he told her about me. There was so much unhappiness back then. I was always stuck between the two of them. Always quarrel bcos of her.
I dun want to confront her.. coz I'm afraid of finding out the truth. I dun think I can take it if she really did that.. and I told myself, it's past liao, forget it. I dun want to give up our friendship. But if I really wronged my ex, then I should be shot. I had been hurting and regretting over the break up. She knows that he is someone very important in my life. Yet she came in between us over and over again.. caused us so much misery. I trusted her too much, I believed all the things she told me. When I confronted my ex, he dun seem to know what I was talking about. Maybe he's really innocent. That's what I really feel bad about.
How can I trust her again? -
we grew up together, used to go to sch together..Originally posted by olala:friendship arent measured by years but trust and bondings
the trust and bonding is definitely there all along..
juz that im beginning to doubt her now. -
i suggest you finish your project first, then clear up this mess.Originally posted by browniebaobao:Quarrelled with her last night over her bf.
I was doing my proj until v bek chek liao, then she came to msn me and tell me about her exs and her current bf.
Apparently i made it clear to her long ago that i dun like him. And she also told me he dun like me too.. so there's mutual resentment. Then last night she told me he's the only one who nv hurt her before. I asked her "are u sure?" then she said ya.. she forgot that she told me he hurt her before, and would nv patch with him again.. but they still patched. Then she said even if she really said that, it was just an excuse. Then carry on telling me many girls admire him la, he's a good man blah blah.. Initially I tot he's good also, but SHE TOLD ME that he helped her to break up with her ex. To me, that's despicable. He break up the 2 of them for his own selfish reason mah.
I always draw a line between our love life. I wun go chup her love life, coz it's too complicated. She always say one thing and does another. The conversation last night.. she denied the fact that she said certain things. Then she said I'm mad etc etc which made me more furious.
Actually lately I have been asking myself whether I can still trust her.. bcos my jie mei told me that she has been hiding things from me or lying to me all these years. They were from the same sec sch. And my buddy's exs were mostly their common frens. She really could not take it anymore, that's why she told me when I pleaded her to. Then I can't help but suspect she purposely made me and my first ex break up, and told me things that she said he told her about me. There was so much unhappiness back then. I was always stuck between the two of them. Always quarrel bcos of her.
I dun want to confront her.. coz I'm afraid of finding out the truth. I dun think I can take it if she really did that.. and I told myself, it's past liao, forget it. I dun want to give up our friendship. But if I really wronged my ex, then I should be shot. I had been hurting and regretting over the break up. She knows that he is someone very important in my life. Yet she came in between us over and over again.. caused us so much misery. I trusted her too much, I believed all the things she told me. When I confronted my ex, he dun seem to know what I was talking about. Maybe he's really innocent. That's what I really feel bad about.
How can I trust her again?
How long ago was this relationship? You still in contact with him? -
x2Originally posted by SingaporeMacross:i suggest you finish your project first, then clear up this mess.
How long ago was this relationship? You still in contact with him?
School assignment comes 1st.
Remember, Baggie. Me here to lend you an ear hor.
-
that means we will have cold war till end August. coz my exams will be right after my projects submission and presentation.Originally posted by SingaporeMacross:i suggest you finish your project first, then clear up this mess.
How long ago was this relationship? You still in contact with him?
2 yrs plus.
juz got into contact again few mths ago.
we always tried to keep in contact again, and then broke off all contacts again bcos of the same issue.
perhaps we are just you yuan wu fen. -
thanks bon bon.Originally posted by Bontakun:x2
School assignment comes 1st.
Remember, Baggie. Me here to lend you an ear hor. -
In life... some friends are meant to accompany you till your death... some are just meant for food, wine and leisure... you will never know who are true or are not true to you... In life friends come and go... but not your family members as they are here to stay... thus... don't take it too heavily...
Treat it as a lesson learnt loh... althought it is painful but izit it better for you to know now rather than in the later stage of life???
Move on in life loh... if you and her are meant to be friends then she won't argue with you over a guy for minor issue right??? Either she is to give in or you give in or both of you give way and continue your life journey... since she couldn't care less for you and don't bother about you then why should you do so??? Don't give her an impression that you couldn't live without her... In life... there is nothing as you cannot do without a particular person... It just a matter of who do you need more or less in life...
Hope that you can move on and be happy...
-
got used to it.Originally posted by browniebaobao:You have been trusting this person for the past 12 yrs or more..
you look upon him/her as a sibling, altho u are juz frens.
but suddenly one day u realize that u can't trust him/her anymore..
what would you do?
My heart is aching right now and yet she thinks it's no big deal.
I'm really disheartened. -
Thanks beck.Originally posted by Beckhamagic:In life... some friends are meant to accompany you till your death... some are just meant for food, wine and leisure... you will never know who are true or are not true to you... In life friends come and go... but not your family members as they are here to stay... thus... don't take it too heavily...
Treat it as a lesson learnt loh... althought it is painful but izit it better for you to know now rather than in the later stage of life???
Move on in life loh... if you and her are meant to be friends then she won't argue with you over a guy for minor issue right??? Either she is to give in or you give in or both of you give way and continue your life journey... since she couldn't care less for you and don't bother about you then why should you do so??? Don't give her an impression that you couldn't live without her... In life... there is nothing as you cannot do without a particular person... It just a matter of who do you need more or less in life...
Hope that you can move on and be happy...
i know frens come and go, but i know who are my true frens and i treasure them.
she's the one who told me she can't live without me. She feels something amiss if im totally out of her life. As for me, there's no one I can't live without. If I get too tired and disappointed, I might just leave.
I juz can't understand.. someone i trust so much will hurt me this way. I hate it when ple deny something that they ever said or done. -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:Quarrelled with her last night over her bf.
I was doing my proj until v bek chek liao, then she came to msn me and tell me about her exs and her current bf.
Apparently i made it clear to her long ago that i dun like him. And she also told me he dun like me too.. so there's mutual resentment. Then last night she told me he's the only one who nv hurt her before. I asked her "are u sure?" then she said ya.. she forgot that she told me he hurt her before, and would nv patch with him again.. but they still patched. Then she said even if she really said that, it was just an excuse. Then carry on telling me many girls admire him la, he's a good man blah blah.. Initially I tot he's good also, but SHE TOLD ME that he helped her to break up with her ex. To me, that's despicable. He break up the 2 of them for his own selfish reason mah.
I always draw a line between our love life. I wun go chup her love life, coz it's too complicated. She always say one thing and does another. The conversation last night.. she denied the fact that she said certain things. Then she said I'm mad etc etc which made me more furious.
Actually lately I have been asking myself whether I can still trust her.. bcos my jie mei told me that she has been hiding things from me or lying to me all these years. They were from the same sec sch. And my buddy's exs were mostly their common frens. She really could not take it anymore, that's why she told me when I pleaded her to. Then I can't help but suspect she purposely made me and my first ex break up, and told me things that she said he told her about me. There was so much unhappiness back then. I was always stuck between the two of them. Always quarrel bcos of her.
I dun want to confront her.. coz I'm afraid of finding out the truth. I dun think I can take it if she really did that.. and I told myself, it's past liao, forget it. I dun want to give up our friendship. But if I really wronged my ex, then I should be shot. I had been hurting and regretting over the break up. She knows that he is someone very important in my life. Yet she came in between us over and over again.. caused us so much misery. I trusted her too much, I believed all the things she told me. When I confronted my ex, he dun seem to know what I was talking about. Maybe he's really innocent. That's what I really feel bad about.
How can I trust her again?
In reality, I hardly get implicated into other's love life directly (there was only this one time). When people seek advises, I will tell them approximately what I would say in Aunt Agony, but you must understand that words are just words.
If words are powerful enough to disconcert the flow of our cosmic lessons... our karma... then majority would be so problem-free.
Obviously, we can't meddle with people's choice. This is their freewill. If they made a bad choice in partners, life will teach them why, not exactly our duty to so - even as good friends.
*** I remember my buddy of 8 years who betrayed my 'secrets' to a woman I hated.
I didn't talk to him for a period.
I forgive.
Then later, the same fellow wanted to (exact quote)- b!tch-slap - me because of a fcuking butch, whom I had this intense, fiery hatred for.
Though the words were text from MIRC, I looked at screen - both shocked and disappointed.
Friends? (Mind you we celebrate our birthdays together every year). *shake head*
I have come to learn that different people view 'friendship' differently - loyalty and respect doesn't appear homogeneously with everyone and therefore we should be selective of the kind of loyalty we bestow onto people because everyone has different perspective of what friendship means to them.
P.S: I remember I wrote it in CloUdism, some scribbling '... woman makes better friend and man makes better company...' Guy buddies are great to chill out and hang out in their company - but when you put a woman into the picture and mix with some blind infatuation, everything goes out of the window.
Even if you want to save the friendship, chances are, things will not be the same. She would probably reduce her status from a 'best-girl-friend' to just a 'good-causal-friend'. Everybody has to earn our trust - even those we knew for years. You won't be able to turn on the switch and see the 'trust for her' materializing, for it just doesn't work that way.
Cheers -
ur nick caught my eyes.Originally posted by zeny:got used to it.
i do know of someone called 'Crystal' in here.
-
Hi bbb,Originally posted by browniebaobao:Thanks beck.
i know frens come and go, but i know who are my true frens and i treasure them.
she's the one who told me she can't live without me. She feels something amiss if im totally out of her life. As for me, there's no one I can't live without. If I get too tired and disappointed, I might just leave.
I juz can't understand.. someone i trust so much will hurt me this way. I hate it when ple deny something that they ever said or done.
if she said that she cannot make it without you then I think she is lying... if it is true then how can she hurt the one that she claimed that she cannot do without with??? Maybe she just cannot make it without her bfs leh...???
Concentrate on your studies first and anything else is secondary...
Good luck to you and your studies...
-
she used to betray my secrets too.. to her ex, to her mum etc. And each time she made me very furious. Therefore, I just keep secrets to myself.Originally posted by Yunhaier: In reality, I hardly get implicated into other's love life directly (there was only this one time). When people seek advises, I will tell them approximately what I would say in Aunt Agony, but you must understand that words are just words.
If words are powerful enough to disconcert the flow of our cosmic lessons... our karma... then majority would be so problem-free.
Obviously, we can't meddle with people's choice. This is their freewill. If they made a bad choice in partners, life will teach them why, not exactly our duty to so - even as good friends.
*** I remember my buddy of 8 years who betrayed my 'secrets' to a woman I hated.
I didn't talk to him for a period.
I forgive.
Then later, the same fellow wanted to (exact quote)- b!tch-slap - me because of a fcuking butch, whom I had this intense, fiery hatred for.
Though the words were text from MIRC, I looked at screen - both shocked and disappointed.
Friends? (Mind you we celebrate our birthdays together every year). *shake head*
I have come to learn that different people view 'friendship' differently - loyalty and respect doesn't appear homogeneously with everyone and therefore we should be selective of the kind of loyalty we bestow onto people because everyone has different perspective of what friendship means to them.
P.S: I remember I wrote it in CloUdism, some scribbling '... woman makes better friend and man makes better company...' Guy buddies are great to chill out and hang out in their company - but when you put a woman into the picture and mix with some blind infatuation, everything goes out of the window.
Even if you want to save the friendship, chances are, things will not be the same. She would probably reduce her status from a 'best-girl-friend' to just a 'good-causal-friend'. Everybody has to earn our trust - even those we knew for years. You won't be able to turn on the switch and see the 'trust for her' materializing, for it just doesn't work that way.
Cheers
it's up to her lor. she wana be with him, just let her be. altho she told me she cannot find the love she wants in him. anyway she always contradict herself.
i guess, the next time i have a bf, i wun tell her who is he. lol. -
frankly speaking, when I see that sms of hers, I din have any reaction. Bcos everytime we have cold war, it seems to be the end of our friendship. Even tho she's in the wrong, she will never admit wrong. But I always forgive, and try to reconcile.Originally posted by Beckhamagic:Hi bbb,
if she said that she cannot make it without you then I think she is lying... if it is true then how can she hurt the one that she claimed that she cannot do without with??? Maybe she just cannot make it without her bfs leh...???
Concentrate on your studies first and anything else is secondary...
Good luck to you and your studies...
her bfs? she can come and go as she like. There is no guy that she dun bear to walk out of. -
From the entire issue i can tell u that
there are certain things wich do produce results base on ur part alone
however there are those which no matter how hard u attempt,can never b enough
Friendship is one of em
ur case is one which requires a 2 hand claps
U tried hard maintaining a friendship but she herself dosent seem to salvage the situitation
as least this is what i perceive from what i've read
o well cheers
friend come and goes
its really a part and parcel of life
u know u done ur best
juz move on -
what is the thing that make u not to trust that people?
how much trust u put in that person?
how much u willing to give that person?
Does he had a reason for it?
Yes, I agree friends come and go... But it is 12 yrs friendship, are u willing to give up? -
You situation is quite similar to mine also with my closed friend for almost 15 years. I've started to lost trust in her after I got knew that she fall in love with my boyfreind.
Now, though we're still freind but I always kept a distance from her & never tell her about my personal life.