a problem
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My fren have a RS problem.
her story :
i like a guy and he likes me too. He said that he like me but he don't love me.
we go out, did anything that a couple do, going out, movies, have meals together, kiss, hug, pet. nothing more than that..
i m in mid 20s and he is in his 30s.
he nv been in a Relationship(RS) b4 and this is my 3rd RS.
He did tell me that we wun have future together and that we can develop to bgr at the most but not to marriage..
BUT... why is he doing all these? (being nice to me, accompanying me, helping me and esp, petting)"
Could it be coz he have nv been in a RS and using my fren to do all these intimate things that only couples can do and that he is not interested in settling down? Or what do u think, frens out there?
Wanna hear your view -
your friends 99% tio conned liao. 30s man pet with 20s girl, obviously want to con her lor. still say can develop bgr but not marriage. Pity her.
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Don't judge the guy too quickly,.... Maybe he 30 year old virgin...Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:your friends 99% tio conned liao. 30s man pet with 20s girl, obviously want to con her lor. still say can develop bgr but not marriage. Pity her. -
30s & "nv been in a Relationship(RS) b4" but seems so pro sia..
That guy attached already lah. -
no ley, he is not attached and nv been in a RS. He is a very nice guy.Originally posted by Magnus:30s & "nv been in a Relationship(RS) b4" but seems so pro sia..
That guy attached already lah.
Just don't noe why he don't want to settle down.. -
How you know? Unless that guy is you.Originally posted by moodyuke:no ley, he is not attached and nv been in a RS. He is a very nice guy.
Just don't noe why he don't want to settle down..
How well you know that guy? Just by your lady friend's account?
If there's no end in sight, it's advisabe for her to look elsewhere & not waste her time. Before she knew it, she will be in her 30s.
For that guy friend of her's, he can go look for girls who don't want to settle down too.
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yes, according to what my fren know, he is still Virgin lo... =pOriginally posted by MohamedF:Don't judge the guy too quickly,.... Maybe he 30 year old virgin...
how how ? sigh...worried for my fren... -
If he isn't good looking or rich, he's probably a genius then! Afterall, geniuses are known to be narcissistic - hence, the lack of want for any sort of a commitment...Originally posted by moodyuke:no ley, he is not attached and nv been in a RS. He is a very nice guy.
Just don't noe why he don't want to settle down..
And no, it's not advisable to get your friend to work out the mind of a genius. -
right....Originally posted by moodyuke:yes, according to what my fren know, he is still Virgin lo... =p
how how ? sigh...worried for my fren...
hey moodyuke, im Bill Gates.
kenna con = kenna con. -
Then it is up to your friend to bring him to a more adult realtionship....Originally posted by moodyuke:yes, according to what my fren know, he is still Virgin lo... =p
how how ? sigh...worried for my fren... -
He say what and your friend believed what meh... she sure kena conned liao... he is just playing your friend and nothing else... to put it in a very crude way... free one mah.. don't play is idiot loh... the meat is sent straight to your mouth and you don't bite meh... better ask your friend to wake up...Originally posted by moodyuke:no ley, he is not attached and nv been in a RS. He is a very nice guy.
Just don't noe why he don't want to settle down.. -
He say what and your friend believed what meh... she sure kena conned liao... he is just playing your friend and nothing else... to put it in a very crude way... free one mah.. don't play is idiot loh... the meat is sent straight to your mouth and you don't bite meh... better ask your friend to wake up...Originally posted by moodyuke:no ley, he is not attached and nv been in a RS. He is a very nice guy.
Just don't noe why he don't want to settle down.. -
he's a horny bastard. an ugly toad lusting over the beautiful swan's meat. get over it!
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I dun think any guy who has not been into a r/s before would proceed to that stage with a girl?
he's out to play. ask ur fren to be wiser.
Like but no love doesnt mean it's ok to pet.
Words are dirt cheap.
Wait till one day she really slept with him, he might juz turn his back and say 'I nv like you before" or "I cant commit" etc. -
Ask your friend where she sees herself in this relationship. Since that guy had already made known up front that he isn't going to tie himself down to a marriage, make sure your friend dun hv the disillusion that he eventually will, cos the man had already made his "disclaimer".
If your friend still sees herself getting married in future, it may be wise to start planning for now. She may hv to decide to face the truth (it hurts initially & friends need to give support) that this guy is NEVER gonna work out for her and she may hv to find other distractions to keep her away fr this guy.
It's never easy & it's gonna take lotsa self-discipline on her part. The main thing to really propel her to start off is to sit down quietly & think abt wat she really wants in future and how much of her youth she can AFFORD to waste & while away in the sweet, honeyed state of the "romantic" affair with that guy....
If she can accept being nowhere just like wat the man had already foretold her he hv no plans for future & marriage, then that's on a dif scale of issue. Friends can only give advice this much. It's a relationship literally btw them afterall. But do warn her that he may change his mind and marry other lady instead. Hopefully, your friend must realize that he had nvr sworn he wanna stay single for her sake... -
Originally posted by moodyuke:My fren have a RS problem.
her story :
i like a guy and he likes me too. He said that he like me but he don't love me.
we go out, did anything that a couple do, going out, movies, have meals together, kiss, hug, pet. nothing more than that..
i m in mid 20s and he is in his 30s.
he nv been in a Relationship(RS) b4 and this is my 3rd RS.
He did tell me that we wun have future together and that we can develop to bgr at the most but not to marriage..
BUT... why is he doing all these? (being nice to me, accompanying me, helping me and esp, petting)"
Could it be coz he have nv been in a RS and using my fren to do all these intimate things that only couples can do and that he is not interested in settling down? Or what do u think, frens out there?
Wanna hear your view
He's being straight-forward and direct with his position:
'...This is a thrill game, but if you are expecting anything more than that, I am sorry...'
Your friend decided to carry on, probably hoping that he may change his view one day.
She is taking a huge risk and playing with fire.
P.S: Never been in a relationship before? Seriously, I don't really believe.
Cheers -
Yunahaier *wave*Originally posted by Yunhaier: He's being straight-forward and direct with his position:
'...This is a thrill game, but if you are expecting anything more than that, I am sorry...'
Your friend decided to carry on, probably hoping that he may change his view one day.
She is taking a huge risk and playing with fire.
P.S: Never been in a relationship before? Seriously, I don't really believe.
Cheers
But why don't u believe that he nv been in a rs b4? Is it coz he pets with my fren?
Actually, to be frank, what constitute petting ?
Pls enlighten me =)
Thanks! -
its more than meets the eye, the guy could've things to hide... he's probably a player so tell ur fren to run as far as she can.... more better guys who are commited are out there...Originally posted by moodyuke:My fren have a RS problem.
her story :
i like a guy and he likes me too. He said that he like me but he don't love me.
we go out, did anything that a couple do, going out, movies, have meals together, kiss, hug, pet. nothing more than that..
i m in mid 20s and he is in his 30s.
he nv been in a Relationship(RS) b4 and this is my 3rd RS.
He did tell me that we wun have future together and that we can develop to bgr at the most but not to marriage..
BUT... why is he doing all these? (being nice to me, accompanying me, helping me and esp, petting)"
Could it be coz he have nv been in a RS and using my fren to do all these intimate things that only couples can do and that he is not interested in settling down? Or what do u think, frens out there?
Wanna hear your view -
Originally posted by moodyuke:
Wah.. so excited to see me meh? *wave back* (Somemore spell my nick wrongly lor)
[b]Yunahaier *wave*
But why don't u believe that he nv been in a rs b4? Is it coz he pets with my fren?
Actually, to be frank, what constitute petting ? Pls enlighten me =)
Thanks![/b]
Just a calculated guess; not exactly just because of petting.
P.S: Anyway, I usually don't bother about friend's-friend's case, unless it's topic starter's problem. If it was your issue, I could randomly check his natal chart with my limited ability to see if he has any problems with isolation (no gf before) as he has claimed.
How long have they known each other?
Cheers -
know each other's existence for 3 yrs but got closer only for the pat few mths..Started being closer for the past 2 mthsOriginally posted by Yunhaier:Wah.. so excited to see me meh? *wave back* (Somemore spell my nick wrongly lor)
Just a calculated guess; not exactly just because of petting.
P.S: Anyway, I usually don't bother about friend's-friend's case, unless it's topic starter's problem. If it was your issue, I could randomly check his natal chart with my limited ability to see if he has any problems with isolation (no gf before) as he has claimed.
How long have they known each other?
Cheers -
Originally posted by moodyuke:know each other's existence for 3 yrs but got closer only for the pat few mths..Started being closer for the past 2 mths How much does she actually knows him? Length of time speaks nothing about the depth of knowing someone.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
She knows him quite alot..They have good chat and usually shares their thoughts and feelings with one another.. How much does she [b]actually knows him? Length of time speaks nothing about the depth of knowing someone.
Cheers[/b]
so, i believe that he nv been in a RS�@b4... he is an honest guy (same opinion of many pple who knows him) so believe what he say...
Btw, apologies for spelling ur name wrong...
what is ur view ? -
Originally posted by moodyuke:She knows him quite alot..They have good chat and usually shares their thoughts and feelings with one another..
so, i believe that he nv been in a RS�@b4... he is an honest guy (same opinion of many pple who knows him) so believe what he say...
Btw, apologies for spelling ur name wrong...
what is ur view ? If you put some thoughts into my views, you will probably see what I see:
If he is able to woo your friend over (unless factors lies with your friends), obviously, he has that potential to woo just any other ladies. Clearly, there isn't a problem with his interaction with woman. Therefore, it isn't personality-related issue that causes isolation.
If he is truthful: My take is that albeit he mentioned that he didn't have any relationship before, but I suppose he could have concealed the point about flings. He may have certain sub-rosa relationship/s that may not constitute an actual relationship. Some people play around with words; I have this buddy who decided that anything less than two weeks are not considered as relationship and his exes is said to be 20+... excluding those less than 2 weeks. You get the picture.
Then again, there could also be a possibility that he brandished an unconscious fear of relationship and commitment. This is likely to be psychological; it would largely be due to his early childhood development (since he mentioned that he has no prior relationship experience) and the gnawing influence from the effect of his parent's marriage, which could have caused him to have unhealthy aversion to commitment and marriage.
But because I am not her, I cannot decipher his personality based on words, to conclude that this is a significant possibility - it is just a possible thing.
If he is lying: My question is why not? Why can't he? He could have benefited much from lying, don't you agree?
(I) Why could anyone blatantly declare 'I like you, but sorry I don't love you,' even before the chase begin?
yunhaier: The cruel truth is that he wants enjoy the 'fruits' of a relationship without having to 'pay' commitments towards it. In order to achieve that, he creates a 'position' to indemnify himself from 'charges' or label of a bast@rd by putting his stand for the outcome of this 'relationship' first at hand. Obviously if she accepted the proposal, there wouldn't even be any responsible to talk about because he eliminated it from this game of love.
(II) I believe he is an honest man - but in Love, we are talking about another dimension of our characters. I have seen people... good people... who turned out to be maniac in love.
And if he was lying, you may think what good does he gain to reveal himself as 'no-gf' before?
yunhaier: To appear untainted and elevate himself to a 'chaste' image. So that his action will not seem like a 'professional' player and her resistance to him is greatly reduced. This will probably induce her mind to think likewise - as if he is incapable of such evil acts.
(III) He have known her for three years and why only the pursue recently? Previously he has no feelings? Only liking all these while? Sure? Considering that they knew each other for three years and he claims that he hasn't got a gf before? And that liking never developed and only discovered two months ago?
yunhaier: karmic relationship from planetary transition strikes in your friend's birth chart, causing Uranus to activate sudden moves. He may somehow think that your friend could be an easy victim, especially worse if he knew about her past. (You mentioned that they got emotionally close and obviously if people with ill intention understood certain logics behind her blueprint in love, they could actually tap on them to utilize it to their own advantage).
Therefore, considering both 'what if' - my guess is that he may not be lying completely, but he may not be entirely truthful or even honest with what he has presented himself to be.
A possible mask... a facade.
P.S: Always be careful of people who present strange proposal of love that contributes suffering or unfulfilment. You may not be able to judge the book by its cover, but you can roughly tell how much it will cost.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Thanks alot Yunhaier =) I get what u mean. I will advise her accordingly.. Really appreciate your effort to explain and think of the various possibilities... If you put some thoughts into my views, you will probably see what I see:
If he is able to woo your friend over (unless factors lies with your friends), obviously, he has that potential to woo just any other ladies. Clearly, there isn't a problem with his interaction with woman. Therefore, it isn't personality-related issue that causes isolation.
[b]If he is truthful: My take is that albeit he mentioned that he didn't have any relationship before, but I suppose he could have concealed the point about flings. He may have certain sub-rosa relationship/s that may not constitute an actual relationship. Some people play around with words; I have this buddy who decided that anything less than two weeks are not considered as relationship and his exes is said to be 20+... excluding those less than 2 weeks. You get the picture.
Then again, there could also be a possibility that he brandished an unconscious fear of relationship and commitment. This is likely to be psychological; it would largely be due to his early childhood development (since he mentioned that he has no prior relationship experience) and the gnawing influence from the effect of his parent's marriage, which could have caused him to have unhealthy aversion to commitment and marriage.
But because I am not her, I cannot decipher his personality based on words, to conclude that this is a significant possibility - it is just a possible thing.
If he is lying: My question is why not? Why can't he? He could have benefited much from lying, don't you agree?
(I) Why could anyone blatantly declare 'I like you, but sorry I don't love you,' even before the chase begin?
yunhaier: The cruel truth is that he wants enjoy the 'fruits' of a relationship without having to 'pay' commitments towards it. In order to achieve that, he creates a 'position' to indemnify himself from 'charges' or label of a bast@rd by putting his stand for the outcome of this 'relationship' first at hand. Obviously if she accepted the proposal, there wouldn't even be any responsible to talk about because he eliminated it from this game of love.
(II) I believe he is an honest man - but in Love, we are talking about another dimension of our characters. I have seen people... good people... who turned out to be maniac in love.
And if he was lying, you may think what good does he gain to reveal himself as 'no-gf' before?
yunhaier: To appear untainted and elevate himself to a 'chaste' image. So that his action will not seem like a 'professional' player and her resistance to him is greatly reduced. This will probably induce her mind to think likewise - as if he is incapable of such evil acts.
(III) He have known her for three years and why only the pursue recently? Previously he has no feelings? Only liking all these while? Sure? Considering that they knew each other for three years and he claims that he hasn't got a gf before? And that liking never developed and only discovered two months ago?
yunhaier: karmic relationship from planetary transition strikes in your friend's birth chart, causing Uranus to activate sudden moves. He may somehow think that your friend could be an easy victim, especially worse if he knew about her past. (You mentioned that they got emotionally close and obviously if people with ill intention understood certain logics behind her blueprint in love, they could actually tap on them to utilize it to their own advantage).
Therefore, considering both 'what if' - my guess is that he may not be lying completely, but he may not be entirely truthful or even honest with what he has presented himself to be.
A possible mask... a facade.
P.S: Always be careful of people who present strange proposal of love that contributes suffering or unfulfilment. You may not be able to judge the book by its cover, but you can roughly tell how much it will cost.
Cheers [/b]