whats ur view on long distance dating and courtship?
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Hm... long distance relationship... tough question!
Well, all I can say is that from what I know, it takes a lot of communication, time and effort. It has an advantage because the technology is really advance these days and video cams are so accessible.
However, the con will be the lack of physical contact between the couple. It's a failing factor that will pull a relationship apart as physical contact is a very important ingredient.
Certainly, it depends on how the couple interact to make the relationship work. But in my honest opinion, long distance relationship rarely last. I believe, that the maximum it'll last is only for a year.
Feel free to prove me wrong.
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You are wrong. The evidence is talking to you right now.Originally posted by -[0]-:I believe, that the maximum it'll last is only for a year.
Feel free to prove me wrong. 
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it is not just abt meeting face to face, that is just the first obstacle u need to go thru...
there are many more to come...like wat i m facing now...sumtimes you really want to give up...dun even know if u can hang in there until the end or not
but the most important thing is for both parties to give evthing they can to ensure that the r/s last as long as possible...maybe in the beginning it mite seem easy, but once the long term commitment comes into the picture, there are a lot of planning to be done, and a lot of changes need to be made...
So all in all, both parties need to be able to adapt to the situation as well as they can... -
It's difficult to determine if you can really get along well with someone without meeting up with that person, not to mention the additional things you would be facing when 2 people really start to stay together...?Originally posted by olala:i've a purpose but im nt sure abt her ..and i've nt met her yet but we can get along,she comign over here thofor visit
this is the time to take it slow and naturally? -
You have a point in your statement.Originally posted by rainee:it is not just abt meeting face to face, that is just the first obstacle u need to go thru...
there are many more to come...like wat i m facing now...sumtimes you really want to give up...dun even know if u can hang in there until the end or not
but the most important thing is for both parties to give evthing they can to ensure that the r/s last as long as possible...maybe in the beginning it mite seem easy, but once the long term commitment comes into the picture, there are a lot of planning to be done, and a lot of changes need to be made...
So all in all, both parties need to be able to adapt to the situation as well as they can...
However, if you were to put a real-life relationship and a cybernet relationship together (I assume every couple uses the internet while they're physically apart), it'll make a lot of difference. First, the very apparent ingredient - Physical Availability. Being there for a person takes up the most part of a relationship in reality. Humans need physical contact and presense so that a stronger bond and impression can be formed within a relationship.
The presense of this ingredient will in turn take effect on how they will react towards each other as obstacles come along. It's easy for one to say that one will overcome the obstacles by faith and will. Nevertheless, when obstacles such as distance, busyness or even temptations appear, these will put a challenge to the long-distance relationship, which is lacking in physical contact and availability.
Although I would not deny that there are still couples who made it through and officially got together after their long-distance separation, these handful are, unfortunately, rare.
To conclude, it's a long suffering for both parties. Challenging as it may be, the reward to these long-distance couples is worthwhile. But, on the other hand, one may rather wish to pursue earlier happiness that will last for a long time than to be physically challenged periodically.
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Hmm....
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Everyone always want an easier way out, don't we all?Originally posted by -[0]-:You have a point in your statement.
However, if you were to put a real-life relationship and a cybernet relationship together (I assume every couple uses the internet while they're physically apart), it'll make a lot of difference. First, the very apparent ingredient - Physical Availability. Being there for a person takes up the most part of a relationship in reality. Humans need physical contact and presense so that a stronger bond and impression can be formed within a relationship.
The presense of this ingredient will in turn take effect on how they will react towards each other as obstacles come along. It's easy for one to say that one will overcome the obstacles by faith and will. Nevertheless, when obstacles such as distance, busyness or even temptations appear, these will put a challenge to the long-distance relationship, which is lacking in physical contact and availability.
Although I would not deny that there are still couples who made it through and officially got together after their long-distance separation, these handful are, unfortunately, rare.
To conclude, it's a long suffering for both parties. Challenging as it may be, the reward to these long-distance couples is worthwhile. But, on the other hand, one may rather wish to pursue earlier happiness that will last for a long time than to be physically challenged periodically.
That's why it is important to recognize the worth of something, and ask yourself...is going thru all the obstacles worth it? Do you think the other person is worthy of your sufferings and all the efforts you have put in?
If yes, by all means, go ahead. And once you have made the choice, it is a decision...at least for me. And when I have made a decision, I intend to stick with it until unless the other party has a change of heart -
Im nt afraid of sacrifices..but im afrad that given 100% effort,the other party might fall short on effort...Originally posted by rainee:Everyone always want an easier way out, don't we all?
That's why it is important to recognize the worth of something, and ask yourself...is going thru all the obstacles worth it? Do you think the other person is worthy of your sufferings and all the efforts you have put in?
If yes, by all means, go ahead. And once you have made the choice, it is a decision...at least for me. And when I have made a decision, I intend to stick with it until unless the other party has a change of heart -
Originally posted by rainee:Everyone always want an easier way out, don't we all?
That's why it is important to recognize the worth of something, and ask yourself...is going thru all the obstacles worth it? Do you think the other person is worthy of your sufferings and all the efforts you have put in?
If yes, by all means, go ahead. And once you have made the choice, it is a decision...at least for me. And when I have made a decision, I intend to stick with it until unless the other party has a change of heart
The key to having a healthy relationship is that we do not get so emotionally attached until much of the spiritual and physical aspects of the relationship are overlooked or lightly focused.Originally posted by olala:Im nt afraid of sacrifices..but im afrad that given 100% effort,the other party might fall short on effort...
Therefore, as we can see from these responses, though sometimes we put our effort into a relationship, which we have faith in, it may turn out that the other party might fall short on their promise or even disappoint us.
No relationship is perfect. And to love somebody is a gamble - When you put your heart into the relationship; you risk breaking it. The question here is: Are you willing to risk heartbreaks, disappointments, disagreements, conflicts, or seperations as an inevitable price to pay when you enter any relationship?
If one is holding on to any emotional baggage (such as hatred for their ex-es, insecurity, loneliness... etc), he/she cannot afford to pay the price mentioned above. Only when two individuals who are whole and complete can afford to enter a relationship and this will result in a more fruitful development within their relationship over time.
In conclusion to olala's statement: You can choose who you want to give all your love to. But bear in mind the price you have to pay.
Don't hate the other party if that person has a change of heart, because everyone including you have a choice. So live with it. -
my boyfriend lives in singapore and i live in europe. im not a local and i've never been to singapore.Originally posted by rie_sia:sorry ur bf and u have been frens when u guys in spore?
n a couple for a yr and 1 mth.....not in spore?
or both not in spore?
if both not in spore....how u guys make it? can share?
is he local?
met b4? -
So Your BF was working in Europe for awhile then.
so how are things working out? -
I missed her alot almost everyday...
I really wana wise and practical advice as to hw i can date her...
and if i wanna ask her abt hw she feels...is it best to do it face to face...? -
Different people have a different level of need and reception for physical presence...Originally posted by olala:I missed her alot almost everyday...
I really wana wise and practical advice as to hw i can date her...
and if i wanna ask her abt hw she feels...is it best to do it face to face...?
It's already a 'plus' that things like cyberspace and telecommunication exist at this age... It can be quite alot on 'mindset' and mentality.... Somehow it would feels like you're attached... Yet.. Need not be feeling exactly so most of the time....? -
It's like playing the same game on a different court... Think about it...?Originally posted by olala:I missed her alot almost everyday...
I really wana wise and practical advice as to hw i can date her...
and if i wanna ask her abt hw she feels...is it best to do it face to face...? -
Bt hw can i see if shes intrested in me...?
she do share with me her photographing and photoshoped skills
she likes using pictures to expres herself
thats a good thing she shares
but most of the time conversation starts onli when i talk to her...
im always the one who initial the talk...nt her... -
It'll be difficult for us to judge, considering the fact that we don't even know her.....?Originally posted by olala:Bt hw can i see if shes intrested in me...?
she do share with me her photographing and photoshoped skills
she likes using pictures to expres herself
thats a good thing she shares
but most of the time conversation starts onli when i talk to her...
im always the one who initial the talk...nt her...
Is she an outgoing person? Are there more tell-tale signs that she might be interested in you other than the fact she likes to share photographing and photoshop with you...? Is she a sociable person? Does she often share with others about photographing and photoshop...? Anticipate and actively discuss about those interests of hers with others around her....? -
bt hw wuld i know weatehr she shares with others...Originally posted by Devil1976:It'll be difficult for us to judge, considering the fact that we don't even know her.....?
Is she an outgoing person? Are there more tell-tale signs that she might be interested in you other than the fact she likes to share photographing and photoshop with you...? Is she a sociable person? Does she often share with others about photographing and photoshop...? Anticipate and actively discuss about those interests of hers with others around her....?
she does photographying with her cousins,that i know...
i dun know for others cuz we're in diff country and i cant really see hw she interact with others socially
she does have her grps of friends yes,who come often to her hse
from what i know,they're galfriends
and yea,she loves playing comp but shes a pretty much sociable person
bt implty hw do i build clsoer friendship with her with the distance gap? -
Im nt sure...can u give me some examples?Originally posted by Devil1976:It'll be difficult for us to judge, considering the fact that we don't even know her.....?
Is she an outgoing person? Are there more tell-tale signs that she might be interested in you other than the fact she likes to share photographing and photoshop with you...? Is she a sociable person? Does she often share with others about photographing and photoshop...? Anticipate and actively discuss about those interests of hers with others around her....?
so i can recall...?
cz i dun lyk making deep assumtion regarding affairs of the hearts -
Why would you wanna do that?Originally posted by olala:bt hw wuld i know weatehr she shares with others...
she does photographying with her cousins,that i know...
i dun know for others cuz we're in diff country and i cant really see hw she interact with others socially
she does have her grps of friends yes,who come often to her hse
from what i know,they're galfriends
and yea,she loves playing comp but shes a pretty much sociable person
bt implty hw do i build clsoer friendship with her with the distance gap?
Based on friendship alone or for a deeper relationship?
Is it advisable to start 'building' or even try too hard if you're not even certain of the situation....?
If it's only friendship, I don't see why 'distance' should really be a problem....? -
From the way she talks to you initially... How did you got to know her? Is she a 'quick warm' or 'slow warm' person...? Does she talks about anything else to you other than photography and photoshop? Is the topic of 'photoshop' closely related to photography in your context of discussion...? Are these 2 topics what you two talk about only most of the time...?Originally posted by olala:Im nt sure...can u give me some examples?
so i can recall...?
cz i dun lyk making deep assumtion regarding affairs of the hearts -
I plan to develop deeper friendship first b4 going beyond..Originally posted by Devil1976:Why would you wanna do that?
Based on friendship alone or for a deeper relationship?
Is it advisable to start 'building' or even try too hard if you're not even certain of the situation....?
If it's only friendship, I don't see why 'distance' should really be a problem....?
other than photography,she shares abt school life..bt nt alot...and how she hates bytches?and we can go on and on..
I plan to develop deeper friendship first b4 going beyond..
other than photography,she shares abt school life..bt nt alot...and how she hates bytches?and we can go on and on.. -
posted by kikq
hmm im rather interested how the relationship develop in the ist place and u guys manage to pull through....cos i am going through similar situations...
my boyfriend lives in singapore and i live in europe. im not a local and i've never been to singapore.
though he is moving nearer to me in 2 mths time. still we might nt b able to live in the same country. -
Well.. Though it doesn't guarantee anything, but at least it's not a bad sign...?Originally posted by olala:I plan to develop deeper friendship first b4 going beyond..
other than photography,she shares abt school life..bt nt alot...and how she hates bytches?and we can go on and on..
I plan to develop deeper friendship first b4 going beyond..
other than photography,she shares abt school life..bt nt alot...and how she hates bytches?and we can go on and on..
One thing is... It might be better to have your emotions and feelings for her in check if possible... If you really can't withhold it, can try dropping hints from time to time rather than to just 'drop the whole bomb' on her at the moment where you can no loger hold back...? Or you can try to channel them into 'hints of expressions'... Expressing bits of your feelings for her in various ways... But as much as you might be directly or indirectly (hinting) asking... You should always be prepared that there's a chance that you might be rejected...? Like they've always said... Nothing ventured, nothing gained...
So have you worked out on the LDR thing yet? It could be really quite a challenging and taxing thing especially when you don't really have quite an idea of things... And for her behalf.... Would she be prepared enough to hold on for that? She has any previous experience(s) in BGR....? -
[quote]Originally posted by HENG@:
thanks.
the other thing is, i know there are some guys eyeing her. i get a bit irked by that, even though she totally dislikes them. Its those guys im feeling annoyed about, not her. What I wouldn't give to castrate some of them..
castrate???????????
I tot u always say that u are asexual? 
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well said.. ur ang mo is good too nia.Originally posted by -[0]-:You have a point in your statement.
However, if you were to put a real-life relationship and a cybernet relationship together (I assume every couple uses the internet while they're physically apart), it'll make a lot of difference. First, the very apparent ingredient - Physical Availability. Being there for a person takes up the most part of a relationship in reality. Humans need physical contact and presense so that a stronger bond and impression can be formed within a relationship.
The presense of this ingredient will in turn take effect on how they will react towards each other as obstacles come along. It's easy for one to say that one will overcome the obstacles by faith and will. Nevertheless, when obstacles such as distance, busyness or even temptations appear, these will put a challenge to the long-distance relationship, which is lacking in physical contact and availability.
Although I would not deny that there are still couples who made it through and officially got together after their long-distance separation, these handful are, unfortunately, rare.
To conclude, it's a long suffering for both parties. Challenging as it may be, the reward to these long-distance couples is worthwhile. But, on the other hand, one may rather wish to pursue earlier happiness that will last for a long time than to be physically challenged periodically.