nasty relatives
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I am a teochew myself and grew up in an extended family with uncles and aunties, grandparents. I remember hearing from friends during my time in Poly that their opinions of teochews are that they are a nasty lot of people.
Your opinion may differ lah but to me it is very true.
I am not sure whether this kind of things are common in common household or not but I would like to list out my unpleasant experiences with this lot of people as a kid.
I was living together with this lot of people for a period of 12yrs. because you know in the 80s we still have kampongs in areas like lim chu kang, punggol.
My parents and siblings are the only nice people among so many people I grew up with.
My grandfather: very hot tempered teochew. unfortunately I was a torn in his eyes, he will scream and shout at me for no reason when he is in a bad mood and most of the time he is in a bad mood, he is like one of those cobras in attacking mode, once I do something that irritate him, he will pounce and the most nasty and condemning words will come out from his mouth.
He likes to use Lo** B**, P* B** (famous and most popular teochew vulgarities)
Grandmother (a teochew also): likes to bully my mother
Youngest uncle: very narrow minded person, perhaps he is being
Over pampered since he is the youngest kid of my grandparents
I remember as a kid when I said the wrong words (not vulgarities); just saying I am not free when he wanted me to do something. Because of that he bear grudges with me from then on. Scolding me C***B** all that on occasions and never talk to me. So as a kid that was a threat and I actually lived in fright and try to stay as far away from him as possible.
I also witness my self how he wanted to whack up my brother as a kid when my brother tease him. Luckily my other uncles and father are there and they restrain him.
4th uncle: very nasty fellow also. Very wayward person. A beng in that era.
Enjoy making fun and interrupting the young lady tutor my mother hired for us plus other nasty things he is capable of.
These people are really full of flaws. I also have 6 aunties and some of them are already married by the time I was born.
These people love to show off among each other and bad mouth about each other, creating rivalry among siblings.
comparing and mocking at achievments of kids of siblings.
Uncles fighting for family fortunes after grandfather passed away.
Not that I am biased towards my father or whatever but frankly speaking, only my father is the nice one among that group of people
I wonder whether this is common among Chinese household. Whenever I watch Chinese dramas for example (point of no return), people are always scheming against one another, all wanting $$ and power, love to show off their wealth
ThatÂ’s why in the other thread I was asking how well it will be if we can become a truly gracious society instead.
I never want to be like any one of them. I may not be perfect but I do hope I will never inherit of those nasty character or personality. I really feel sad for my mother having to put up with those nasty people.
In fact due to verbal abuse as a kid I grew up with a lot of emotional related problems. E.g. low self esteem, severe anxiety, depression etc
How about you people? Do you have similar experiences? Are your relatives like mine? I hope your relatives are much better than mine. -
the teochew do not hold a monopoly on nastiness...
sadly, i think the only thing you can do is to slowly distance yourself from them... and now that you know what it is like, never ever become like them..
until then, endure
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why only teochews ppl? i am a teochew myself, but ok ma
got mixture of good and bad relatives also, they are all teochews.. so depends one la, not the dialect.
for us, we mix w good relatives, bad ones we really distance from them, only see them during new year and grandma bday..
dun worry abt all the bad relatives la, as long as ur conscious is clear, no one can hurt/harm u and ur family
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There are always bad relatives and there are always people who have a lot of character flaws that they do not ever grow out of.
teochew are infamous for certain things you mentioned.
So are the cantonese and hokkiens.
But They are only relatives.
You can only change yourself. -
u hv taken the correct 1st step of realising this vicious cycle n not being like any of them. as long as u r behaving well n know wat u r doing, u shld hv no qualms abt wat other ppl think of u. u shld be proud of urself. we r independent conscious individuals after all.
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There are different kind of teochews you know
The teochews and the teochew neo ... the neos are the really nasty and ti ki (metal teeth) ones.
I didn't know this till my boss gave me a lecture on the differences within the same dialect group itself
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some of my relatives r like dat....as i grow up, i simply find them childish n dismiss them as interesting forms for future alien experimentation (probing of the rear kind)Originally posted by elindra:There are different kind of teochews you know
The teochews and the teochew neo ... the neos are the really nasty and ti ki (metal teeth) ones.
I didn't know this till my boss gave me a lecture on the differences within the same dialect group itself -
I like the way you put itOriginally posted by poon cho tang:some of my relatives r like dat....as i grow up, i simply find them childish n dismiss them as interesting forms for future alien experimentation (probing of the rear kind)
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so long as ur immediate family & siblings are ok, that's more important. others you can try to maintain distance.
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Your family sounds so familar....?Originally posted by verydisappointed:I am a teochew myself and grew up in an extended family with uncles and aunties, grandparents. I remember hearing from friends during my time in Poly that their opinions of teochews are that they are a nasty lot of people.
Your opinion may differ lah but to me it is very true.
I am not sure whether this kind of things are common in common household or not but I would like to list out my unpleasant experiences with this lot of people as a kid.
I was living together with this lot of people for a period of 12yrs. because you know in the 80s we still have kampongs in areas like lim chu kang, punggol.
My parents and siblings are the only nice people among so many people I grew up with.
My grandfather: very hot tempered teochew. unfortunately I was a torn in his eyes, he will scream and shout at me for no reason when he is in a bad mood and most of the time he is in a bad mood, he is like one of those cobras in attacking mode, once I do something that irritate him, he will pounce and the most nasty and condemning words will come out from his mouth.
He likes to use Lo** B**, P* B** (famous and most popular teochew vulgarities)
Grandmother (a teochew also): likes to bully my mother
Youngest uncle: very narrow minded person, perhaps he is being
Over pampered since he is the youngest kid of my grandparents
I remember as a kid when I said the wrong words (not vulgarities); just saying I am not free when he wanted me to do something. Because of that he bear grudges with me from then on. Scolding me C***B** all that on occasions and never talk to me. So as a kid that was a threat and I actually lived in fright and try to stay as far away from him as possible.
I also witness my self how he wanted to whack up my brother as a kid when my brother tease him. Luckily my other uncles and father are there and they restrain him.
4th uncle: very nasty fellow also. Very wayward person. A beng in that era.
Enjoy making fun and interrupting the young lady tutor my mother hired for us plus other nasty things he is capable of.
These people are really full of flaws. I also have 6 aunties and some of them are already married by the time I was born.
These people love to show off among each other and bad mouth about each other, creating rivalry among siblings.
comparing and mocking at achievments of kids of siblings.
Uncles fighting for family fortunes after grandfather passed away.
Not that I am biased towards my father or whatever but frankly speaking, only my father is the nice one among that group of people
I wonder whether this is common among Chinese household. Whenever I watch Chinese dramas for example (point of no return), people are always scheming against one another, all wanting $$ and power, love to show off their wealth
ThatÂ’s why in the other thread I was asking how well it will be if we can become a truly gracious society instead.
I never want to be like any one of them. I may not be perfect but I do hope I will never inherit of those nasty character or personality. I really feel sad for my mother having to put up with those nasty people.
In fact due to verbal abuse as a kid I grew up with a lot of emotional related problems. E.g. low self esteem, severe anxiety, depression etc
How about you people? Do you have similar experiences? Are your relatives like mine? I hope your relatives are much better than mine.
Anyway, there're often all kinda people and likely at least 2 sides to people.. Most of the time I just bochup.
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I thought Teochews are well known for their gentleness and politeness.
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Sorry no offence but i think it runs in the family...the bloodline...not dialect group.
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Eeeeee . which means verdisappointed will become one of those personalities.Originally posted by looksee:Sorry no offence but i think it runs in the family...the bloodline...not dialect group.
To Threadstarter:
BTW shouldn't you be posting this to your 'aHem' , BF/GF ? If you cannot put your own family background story in words by dating?
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sorry, don't quite understand "If you cannot put your own family background story in words by dating?"Originally posted by NotFromVenus:Eeeeee . which means verdisappointed will become one of those personalities.
To Threadstarter:
BTW shouldn't you be posting this to your 'aHem' , BF/GF ? If you cannot put your own family background story in words by dating?
frankly speaking, if i were to inherit any of those bad personalities and characters, i would rather kill myself then becoming a pest and creating
problems in this society.
how i wish my grandfather joined forces136 during WW2 and perish during the fight against the japanese instead of creating a bunch of junks that created so much problems.
I been disappointed with a lot of things in life and i really see the most ugly side of humankind including people around me.
that's why a lot of times i feel, let me just finish this rough and bumpy road meaningfully all alone
that's why i am determined to be a really nice person. I am not perfect lah, i have my flaws also for sure.
my conduct throughout my time in school, workplace and anywhere else has always been excellent, i try to help others whenever possible.
hmm...actually what i underwent is some kind of abuse
you know people who suffered sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse.
parents can do that to their own sons daughters but that dosen't mean they will grow up to be like them.
that's my personal opinion.
of course you are entitled to your set of opinions regarding people like me for sure.
in fact i got to know friends who are victims of abusive parents, relatives also. they actually grew up to be really nice people.
in a way education is very important because we go to school to learn the correct values, civics and moral. -
I also come from teochow family and sound quite similar as your family background..probably teochow pples like to show off too much and afraid of losing face, well really hard to put up wif them one esp their expectations are ridiculous. Now begin grown up and i supported myself so didn't need to see their face at all. Just totally ignored them will do.
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OI!
FCUK OFF AND DIE!
I'M TEOCHEW TOO!
MY FAMILY IS THE NICEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
MY DAD DONATES LOADS OF CASH TO CHARITY, DOESN'T SHOW OFF, IS DAMN HUMBLE, AND SO ARE MY OTHER RELATIVES.
I do agree with the hot-tempered part, though.
I know of alot of other teochew families too.
They are very nice.
Please DO NOT attribute your family's shortcomings because of dialect group.
m|m -
WAHliew KNN ..wat the hack toking out loud think u big fucker here itiz!!Originally posted by missqi:OI!
FCUK OFF AND DIE!
I'M TEOCHEW TOO!
MY FAMILY IS THE NICEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
MY DAD DONATES LOADS OF CASH TO CHARITY, DOESN'T SHOW OFF, IS DAMN HUMBLE, AND SO ARE MY OTHER RELATIVES.
I do agree with the hot-tempered part, though.
I know of alot of other teochew families too.
They are very nice.
Please DO NOT attribute your family's shortcomings because of dialect group.
m|m -
nah. i just feel indignant that he attributes his/her family's shortcomings to them being Teochew.Originally posted by VampireEB:WAHliew KNN ..wat the hack toking out loud think u big fucker here itiz!!
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Ya lah ..no matter how unhappy u r pls control ur frustration here.Thks!Originally posted by missqi:nah. i just feel indignant that he attributes his/her family's shortcomings to them being Teochew. -
i am unhappy with the threadstarter. what has my scolding him got to do with you?Originally posted by VampireEB:Ya lah ..no matter how unhappy u r pls control ur frustration here.Thks! -
really really very sorry if my thread makes you really unhappy.Originally posted by missqi:OI!
FCUK OFF AND DIE!
I'M TEOCHEW TOO!
MY FAMILY IS THE NICEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
MY DAD DONATES LOADS OF CASH TO CHARITY, DOESN'T SHOW OFF, IS DAMN HUMBLE, AND SO ARE MY OTHER RELATIVES.
I do agree with the hot-tempered part, though.
I know of alot of other teochew families too.
They are very nice.
Please DO NOT attribute your family's shortcomings because of dialect group.
m|m
i think i indicated that it is my own personal opinion and that is through my own experiences.
i am glad you replied, you came from a teochew family and your family members are truly nice people so that shows that my assumption are wrong and there are still truly nice teochews around.
i myself i have come across teochews who are nice also.
the 3rd generation of teochews in my family, my cousins all that grew up to be really nice people.
kind, gentle, soft spoken, humble, won't hurl vulgarities that kind of people.
very very sorry, i really have no intention of offending anyone -
You got personal and you always get personal with character attacking remarks.Originally posted by missqi:i am unhappy with the threadstarter. what has my scolding him got to do with you?
If you do not udnerstand, at least post less. -
nah. didnt attack character. just some vulgar language.Originally posted by mistyblue:You got personal and you always get personal with character attacking remarks.
If you do not udnerstand, at least post less. -
I think such problems usually run a big family if not will be the family culture.
sigh... what to do ? But endure there is nothing much we can do also.
It's your family / relative which we can't change.
All we can do is leave them alone, and ignore them.
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Be appeased,Your Empress....Originally posted by missqi:nah. didnt attack character. just some vulgar language.