Nicest time is only during courtship?
-
It seems to me as though the nicest time during a relationship for the female is only during courtship. After marriage, the man doesn't treat you as nicely anymore and might even look for better options. At least thats what I observed. How true do you think it is?
and is it the majority of guys nature to be like that? -
the easier you get it...the least you will cherish it?
-
Alot, but not all men are like this, sadly.
-
Originally posted by An0nym0us:It seems to me as though the nicest time during a relationship for the female is only during courtship. After marriage, the man doesn't treat you as nicely anymore and might even look for better options. At least thats what I observed. How true do you think it is? and is it the majority of guys nature to be like that?
Sometimes woman thinks that love has vanished.
But chances are it may not be the case; love may have transformed into something else. Like energy, love cannot be destroyed nor created.
In marriage, chances are, the kind of passion and drive to romance a woman in a courtship has transformed into putting food on the table. This is intrinsically the primitive instinct of what a man would do when he has to shoulder additional burden of having a family.
This is primarily love to a man, when marriage is concern, because should one day he 'fails' in his duty - he probably sees that he has failed in his duty as a husband and father.
*** In the Age of Aquarian and in this modern era, woman demands man to communicate in the same emotional wavelength as them, but however metrosexual a man is... a man is still a man. Our psyche and psychological built up is vastly different. Should he consciously 'forgot' to employ the feminine side of his whole, he revert back to himself.
We should never measure love according to the number of roses he got for you in valentine day (or the absence of it). What matters is that he loves you for who you are... is willing to accept your knowing flaws and still choose you.
When a stranger pays you a compliment, it holds greater weight than a compliment from people we know (a.k.a friends and love ones). This is because a stranger doesn't know our vulnerability and how imperfect we are, while the people we know are so emotionally close to us that a compliment from them has this diminished effect because they know us.
Many times, this is how infidelity first strikes - when a stranger focus more on what lovable about ourselves and our love ones are usually more flaw-centric.
Has love gone?
P.S: We must understand that in passion, we all love differently. We got to appreciate and acknowledge how our partner express their affection because that is uniquely his/her (that's of course IF it's not afflicted, twisted sort of affection).
Cheers -
deleted
-
courtship
you will do the unexpected for him/her.
Do the things that are so sweet, that honey will feel inferior.
You have the whole world of things to talk about.
Most of your available time will be dedicated to her.
You never run out of places to go, or things to do.
Going to a same place again and again symbolised your "courtship" place.
marriage
You will sometimes take things for granted, and not even do the least expected stuffs for her, thinking that she is ok with it.
Romantic stuffs are hard to come by, esp when you are super duper busy with your own things..flowers are becoming are "waste-of-$" thing.
You run out of topics fast, and the norms are work related.
Your free time, will be outside with friends or infront of tv.
Going back to same place again and again means boredom.
In a marriage, a couple doesnt understand how to maintain it.
Occassional romantic things can rekindle the old love and passion in them. This also applies to female, and dont always expect the male to do it ony.
Actually, discussing work may sounds bored, but personally, i think you have to understand your partner's work life and you will understand how he/she is spending their day time...of cse, you must also find other stuffs to talk.
Do something that both of you all like, e.g sports, musicals, beach,..etc
When out with friends, your partner can also tag along, unless it is a strictly friends gathering only...
whatever it is, both partner must play a good part in maintaining a marriage, and makes it as interesting as during their courtship...Most people's mentality is " if he/she do it, how nice will it be" you can always do it first before your partner does it for you....Dont wait for people to make the move...
waiting only brings despair...
-
Seems to you... Those whom you derived that assumption... How well do they know one another? Looking for better options...? Is the "man" hinting affairs? Under what circumstances do they tie the knot? They decided to get married after careful thought? Or in a spur of passion and emotions?Originally posted by An0nym0us:It seems to me as though the nicest time during a relationship for the female is only during courtship. After marriage, the man doesn't treat you as nicely anymore and might even look for better options. At least thats what I observed. How true do you think it is? and is it the majority of guys nature to be like that? -
This is what I observe but it might not be true.
Before marriage, the guy will give way and treat the girl real nice and perhaps this is the way the guy gets the girl's attention. But this is not his usual self, or his usual ways. He inadvertently "spoil" his girl to expect that kind of treatment. This kind of "exceptionally good treatment and giving way" cannot continue. Once it give way to the norm, the girl notices this and thinks the difference and therefore seems that good things only happen during courtship... -
Lucky this only applies to a selected group of guys in the whole of male population. If any girls think "ALL" guys are like that... Good luck to you.Originally posted by mistyblue:This is what I observe but it might not be true.
Before marriage, the guy will give way and treat the girl real nice and perhaps this is the way the guy gets the girl's attention. But this is not his usual self, or his usual ways. He inadvertently "spoil" his girl to expect that kind of treatment. This kind of "exceptionally good treatment and giving way" cannot continue. Once it give way to the norm, the girl notices this and thinks the difference and therefore seems that good things only happen during courtship... -
I saw that sorta happen with a friend who got married.Originally posted by Bontakun:Lucky this only applies to a selected group of guys in the whole of male population. If any girls think "ALL" guys are like that... Good luck to you.
I can only hope the best for him... -
Any other guys who are similar to this one? Maybe there are better situations then you have seen? I have not seen many married couples but my parents have a healthy marriage. So are my uncles and aunts. Even a colleague of mine is happily married. AND err... MOST of the people I know are still not married yet. So I cannot say much. BUT this is what I witnessed from my point of view.Originally posted by mistyblue:I saw that sorta happen with a friend who got married.
I can only hope the best for him... -
Depends on what the whole relationship is running on...Originally posted by An0nym0us:It seems to me as though the nicest time during a relationship for the female is only during courtship. After marriage, the man doesn't treat you as nicely anymore and might even look for better options. At least thats what I observed. How true do you think it is? and is it the majority of guys nature to be like that? -
Depends on whether the sex hot or not. If every afternoon still got hot sex, then won't look for better options
-
pretzel so free every afternoon ar?Originally posted by pretzel:Depends on whether the sex hot or not. If every afternoon still got hot sex, then won't look for better options -
Personally, I think a certain amt of efforts shd be maintained if not more efforts should be put in after marriage. Despite the daily monotonous routines that may take place after marriage, a couple shd not forget wat brings them together in the 1st place. They shd hence aim to keep the sparks alive in the marriage before it shambles to pieces in time to come.
I think not taking your partner for granted and making efforts goes a long way in a marriage. -
If you're on the right spot, afternoon don't have sex also can be very hot....Originally posted by pretzel:Depends on whether the sex hot or not. If every afternoon still got hot sex, then won't look for better options