i have a similar problem..
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Refering to http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=204324&page=0,
i have a similar problem.
The thing is, i've been with him for going 6 years, Since my secondary school days. Now that i'm in final year poly, he's in ite.
i dare not show my mom my boyfriend cause we don't usually communicate. My parents are never at home as they are busy working .
But knowing my parents well, they want me to lead a better life than them. Mom always ask me to find a rich boyfriend. So i don't know how to bring him home.
i love him and i don't mind the differences. its just that, i don't know how to tell my parents.
My course of study is business and in my futre i'm going to take over my family business as for him, he doesn't know where he is heading. I really don't mind being better off than him since we've been together this long. but, i know my parents will mind and, i'm afraid he minds too coz no mater what, guys will always be guys. they have their ego.
loooking at the other thread make me realize that i'm somehow lost, should i be mama girl and leave him for someone better, coz i don't wish to.
or should i go for what i want, be with my heart.
some advice is greatly appreciated. -
if u wanna stick it out with him, u better be prepared for tough times ahead.
it won't be easy, with objection from ur parents and also have to sensitive around ur bf. it can really drive u crazy. think deep and hard about it.
good luck
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yea, i know and i already am going crazy coz i need to be sensitive about his feelings and sometimes i make him feel very "zhi bei" i don't know whats that in english.i didn't mean to .Originally posted by Axelheat755:if u wanna stick it out with him, u better be prepared for tough times ahead.
it won't be easy, with objection from ur parents and also have to sensitive around ur bf. it can really drive u crazy. think deep and hard about it.
good luck 
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has he thought about his future?
whats his future plans after ns and ite? -
Know what you want in life....Originally posted by myownlife:Refering to http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=204324&page=0,
i have a similar problem.
The thing is, i've been with him for going 6 years, Since my secondary school days. Now that i'm in final year poly, he's in ite.
i dare not show my mom my boyfriend cause we don't usually communicate. My parents are never at home as they are busy working .
But knowing my parents well, they want me to lead a better life than them. Mom always ask me to find a rich boyfriend. So i don't know how to bring him home.
i love him and i don't mind the differences. its just that, i don't know how to tell my parents.
My course of study is business and in my futre i'm going to take over my family business as for him, he doesn't know where he is heading. I really don't mind being better off than him since we've been together this long. but, i know my parents will mind and, i'm afraid he minds too coz no mater what, guys will always be guys. they have their ego.
loooking at the other thread make me realize that i'm somehow lost, should i be mama girl and leave him for someone better, coz i don't wish to.
or should i go for what i want, be with my heart.
some advice is greatly appreciated. -
Originally posted by myownlife:Refering to http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=204324&page=0,
i have a similar problem.
The thing is, i've been with him for going 6 years, Since my secondary school days. Now that i'm in final year poly, he's in ite.
i dare not show my mom my boyfriend cause we don't usually communicate. My parents are never at home as they are busy working .
But knowing my parents well, they want me to lead a better life than them. Mom always ask me to find a rich boyfriend. So i don't know how to bring him home.
i love him and i don't mind the differences. its just that, i don't know how to tell my parents.
My course of study is business and in my futre i'm going to take over my family business as for him, he doesn't know where he is heading. I really don't mind being better off than him since we've been together this long. but, i know my parents will mind and, i'm afraid he minds too coz no mater what, guys will always be guys. they have their ego.
loooking at the other thread make me realize that i'm somehow lost, should i be mama girl and leave him for someone better, coz i don't wish to.
or should i go for what i want, be with my heart.
some advice is greatly appreciated.
Compatibility is relative.
If you reckon that compatibility is a perplex issue (in your case... education), chances are, it will bother you because it is relative to how you perceive what's important to you in love.
You will probably see your relationship getting estranged by the invisible overwhelming pressure you think your parents has put on you - it probably wouldn't survive as long as you are stuck in between.
I cannot say it's wrong to choose a rich boyfriend (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) because ultimately, whichever man you choose at the end of the road, it will be the choice you live with. Different people have different pre-requisite in love... to fill different needs - only you truly know what you truly need and if you think you have make a right choice, then nobody other than yourself could tell you otherwise.
Cheers -
u are still young , there is plenty of time to sort out what you really want out of life....
take your time ... -
6 years a long time huh? IF you were forced to give him up or let said you choose to give him up, do you think you can? 6 years of relationship, i doubt you can just give him up.
Its your happiness why bother about your family if they doesn't approve you, just talk nicely to your family and how you wish to be with him.
You know that there may be difficult times ahead with him but if you could found a guy who really dote you love you, isn't it worth it than those guys who can made ends meet but was unfaithful to you?
Getting into a relationship with someone you really love is difficult, think carefully before making any decision.
Well lastly, just don't regret whatever you do and simply follow your heart. Things will turn out fine. When there a way, there a solution.
*cheers* -
Can I ask you a question: What do you REALLY want?
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Originally posted by Axelheat755:if u wanna stick it out with him, u better be prepared for tough times ahead.
it won't be easy, with objection from ur parents and also have to sensitive around ur bf. it can really drive u crazy. think deep and hard about it.
good luck 
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i always have this thinking..
if my parents disapprove of my guy, i will convince them. Coz ultimately, im the one who's gg to live with him.
but if my guy disapproves of my family, then sorry lor, no way am i going to continue with him. -
he hasn't he not those kind. he doesn't plan. thats what we always quarrel about..Originally posted by R3SsH|n:has he thought about his future?
whats his future plans after ns and ite? -
yes i'll consider carefully.. i know it wasn't easyOriginally posted by ¡ÚTearsofTheMoon¡Ú:6 years a long time huh? IF you were forced to give him up or let said you choose to give him up, do you think you can? 6 years of relationship, i doubt you can just give him up.
Its your happiness why bother about your family if they doesn't approve you, just talk nicely to your family and how you wish to be with him.
You know that there may be difficult times ahead with him but if you could found a guy who really dote you love you, isn't it worth it than those guys who can made ends meet but was unfaithful to you?
Getting into a relationship with someone you really love is difficult, think carefully before making any decision.
Well lastly, just don't regret whatever you do and simply follow your heart. Things will turn out fine. When there a way, there a solution.
*cheers* -
i know i cannot have the best of both .Originally posted by Bontakun:Can I ask you a question: What do you REALLY want?
but i just don't want to upset my parents and yet at the same time, be with the one i love. its hard i know. -
a guy can be poor...but he must have the will to upgrade himself...he cannot just stay at one point and just watch the world pass by...Originally posted by myownlife:he hasn't he not those kind. he doesn't plan. thats what we always quarrel about..
you might be better off than him in the future...but he still has the responsibility to give you future assurance... -
what you said makes sense, thanks alot, i realized i should convince them.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i always have this thinking..
if my parents disapprove of my guy, i will convince them. Coz ultimately, im the one who's gg to live with him.
but if my guy disapproves of my family, then sorry lor, no way am i going to continue with him.
and i'm the one going to live with him, not them. thanks. =) -
yes, i keep telling him. but he doesn't know his future too. therefore we ALWAYS quarrel over this.Originally posted by R3SsH|n:a guy can be poor...but he must have the will to upgrade himself...he cannot just stay at one point and just watch the world pass by...
you might be better off than him in the future...but he still has the responsibility to give you future assurance...
after being with him for so long.i knmow him well. i know he has regretted not studying from his reaction. and that he's very lost.
so i never probe further. -
i know most parents want their daughter to find a better educated bf, but ur mum actually really wanted u to find a rich one, just like in the drama serials?!Originally posted by myownlife:But knowing my parents well, they want me to lead a better life than them. Mom always ask me to find a rich boyfriend. So i don't know how to bring him home. -
wat does the content inside the bracket means?Originally posted by Yunhaier:I cannot say it's wrong to choose a rich boyfriend (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) because ultimately, whichever man you choose at the end of the road, it will be the choice you live with.
Cheers -
not as in rich but in a sense, well off so i don't have to suffer like she did. she wants me to have a better life, unlike hers.Originally posted by UandMe:i know most parents want their daughter to find a better educated bf, but ur mum actually really wanted u to find a rich one, just like in the drama serials?! -
Then let me ask you another question. You know he still do not know where he is headed. Is that the kind of security you want? To "follow" a guy who is still clueless as to what he wants in life and where to go in direction?Originally posted by myownlife:i know i cannot have the best of both .
but i just don't want to upset my parents and yet at the same time, be with the one i love. its hard i know.
Unless your BF knows where he is headed in a few years time (like night studies while working, then apply for better job, etc, etc), I think your parents may be right in this case. You have to either make your BF buck up and know what is he doing or you may have to leave him. -
ask ur bf study hard. ite oso can go to poly.
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tell him to buck up.
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Girls mature earlier than guys, so sounds like your boyfriend needs a few more years to grow up to catch up with you. He will probably be more mature only after his NS... You both obviously have different needs at this point in your lives. You are already looking towards the future and wanting to plan for it whereas he is not quite a man yet.Originally posted by myownlife:yes, i keep telling him. but he doesn't know his future too. therefore we ALWAYS quarrel over this.
after being with him for so long.i knmow him well. i know he has regretted not studying from his reaction. and that he's very lost.
so i never probe further.
6 years is a long time and sometimes we romanticize the relationship too much. If there is sex in the relationship, then the girl usually tries to get a more firm commitment from the guy, especially if he's the first time.
Maybe it's time for you to take a step back and evaluate your relationship with him. The person you fell in love with 6 years ago may not be the same person he is now. Physical relationships aside, if you truly find many positive qualities about him that you admire and the feeling is mutual, then give the guy a few more years to grow up and mature. Enjoy your youth and relationship in the meantime and put plans for the future aside for now. You will argue less and perhaps preserve the relationship till it is time to discuss the future...
Then he will also be more mature and ready to deal with meeting your parents. -
Mi is "guo lai ren".. hehe..
Trust mi.. It's reali hard to juggle between your bf & ur mother.. Esp if she doesn apporve of him..
My ex, we got tog in sec school.. He often came to my house.. I intro him as my friend to my mum.. Of coz.. She got suspicious.. & noe that the 2 of us were tog..
I was caught in a dilema.. Stuck between my ex & my mum.. She keep tellin mi tat.. He's of a gd character.. He is not gd to u.. Etc..
Each time we wanna go out.. She will start naggin non-stop.. I'm not allowed to go out very often.. Gonna come back by 7pm.. Cannot stay out too late, etc.. My ex got v fed up with mi..
Moral of the story: If u noe ur mum isn goin to accept him.. Don't bring him home yet!!!
Why get urself caught in the dilema.. Avoid it.. Until.. The dae u reali decide tat he's the guy for u...
Time past, plp change.. Ur bf.. Though now he might not have a goal in life yet.. I guess this is normal? After all.. They need to pass thru their 2yrs of N.S first..
2 mi.. I feel N.S consitute a great part in a guy's life.. Maturin him to be a grown man.. By then.. He shld be clearer of wat he wants in life..
Our feelins may change.. U might change, he might change.. Or mayb even both?
Jus let nature takes it course.. Don't bring urself unecessary unhappiness & misery..
When the dae comes, & u both have finally decided.. Yeah.. He/she is the one for mi.. Then bring him home to ur mother & face the music.. Tat's it.. When u r bent on marryin him.. & u noe wat's life has in store 4 u, if u marry him..
By the time we grow older, become more mature, closer to a marrying age.. Will we noe wat we want to look for in a marriage partner..
Marriage isn all about love.. Is abt finances, kids, doin of household chores, insurances, bills, living tog.. Accepting & adaptin to each other.. Etc.. Still young.. Dun think so far, stress urself up! Hehe..
I strongly belive in.. WHen the time come, u'll noe wat u wan & wat to do..
Meanwhile.. Be happy! Tat's the essential, the best part of bein in love!