ADVICE NEEDED !
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I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do? -
constructive?Originally posted by starlight_dm:I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do?
the feeling of getting attention from another gal is sure gd eh? now, can u confirm she reali like u and not jz gd fren feeling? alot of guys do get tis wrong n make the mistake... right here u got a nice wife who give u all the freedom n u take it like she dun care for u.... even she dun care much u should try to reginite the light at home rather than tempted by unknown light....
wake up, u r married n so is she.... n moreever u dun know 100% how she feel... if u wan to flirt no one can stop u, but dun make silly moves like cheat... -
my advice - don't get too emotionally-involved with a married person. 99% of the time it doesn't end up well. 100% if you're married yourself.
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knowing it's wrong, it's time to stop it lor.
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This is a very dangerous spot you are putting yourself into. For what?
Whatever it is, it is still your decision on whether you want to keep your distance from that friend of yours or sink deeper and suffer the consequences later on. And mind you, it may not be losing only one friend, you may lose your wife, and perhaps reputation if ever her family side (if any) got to know about this.
One way to stay closer to your wife is not to concede to the fact that she always watches TV and not care much about you. I'm not sure on how she treats you as you didn't mention it, but, do not always assume that she doesn't care. One way is to have a good serious talk with her. After all, YOU are the man of the house. YOU take the initiative to communicate with your wife.
Where's the love you once had with your wife when you two were dating? Revive back that feelings you have for each other again by doing something sweet for her - like buying her flowers, bringing her to some romantic places you both had been before, or to the movies.. etc.. It's those little things that will help create some sparks again in the marriage. Also, don't forget to communicate often. The lesser you communicate, the further your relationship with your wife will drift apart.
Remember, your commitment is to your wife. And ONLY your wife. Learn to love her and cherish her. -
accident waiting to happen...
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oh man.. you're in trouble!
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bomb waiting to explode.. *cover eyes*
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Once again, if words are easily understood and heeded.Originally posted by browniebaobao:knowing it's wrong, it's time to stop it lor.
Easy to say, hard to act.
By knowing moral values, and the will to overwrite Emotional struggles are not impossible. But, i have to say. It takes alot to make that decision. -
Whatever the case might beÂ… my friendÂ… you are married and this is something that you cannot change anymoreÂ… WellÂ… maybe this lady is just treating you as a very good friend or maybe as a substitute for her the other halfÂ… maybe you have got the wrong idea from herÂ…Originally posted by starlight_dm:I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do?
In any case, you are married thus don’t think too much… and think for yourself and your wife… do you think it is fair to your wife? Just imagine… one day… your wife came home and tell you that she had fallen for someone who really cares and love her… and would buy her watches, romantic dinner and flowers etc… how would you feel? When you are having “fun and enjoyable time” with your lady friend… what is your wife doing? She is waiting for you to come home and accompany her… but since you are always not around… she got no choice but to turn to the TV…
Don’t do something that you would regret later in life… if you choose this lady over your wife… does it mean that she would not “develop” into your wife’s current status (more interested in TV than you)? You have to play a part in the marriage and the “status” of your wife too… Ask yourself… did you communicate with her as before? If you had spend enough time to talk to her… would she be turning to the TV than you? Think for her and be fair to her… don’t regret it after you lose her…
HumanÂ… especially Man are always Fan JianÂ… we would only treasure and cherish something that doesnÂ’t belongs to usÂ… Have you forgotten all the sweet times when you had with your wife before you guys are married?
My advice: Just keep a distance from your lady friend but continue the friendship with her but reduce the frequency of contactÂ… Communicate with your wife and rekindle the love that both of you used to have during the courtship daysÂ… Bring her out for a romantic dinner than to leave her alone at home watching TVÂ…
Treasure what you have in lifeÂ…
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illicit activity......u got check whether her hubby violent type anot, wait both of you get punched up.....serious man
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most guys will only wake up from a dream after he falls down the stairs... thats what i notice! haha.. but i guess thats the realityOriginally posted by starlight_dm:I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do? -
what if he breaks his neck and dies?Originally posted by orange88:most guys will only wake up from a dream after he falls down the stairs... thats what i notice! haha.. but i guess thats the reality -
I think it's ok to have a friend like your colleague. If you're afraid both of you might overstep the line one day, set some limitations to things... Like what you should be doing and what are the things both of you should avoid. Set the lines CLEAR. Tone down a bit on the activities you're having with her if need to? But I don't think it's really neceassary to start avoiding her altogether at this point...Originally posted by starlight_dm:I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do?
As for your wife... How long have you been married with her? Any kid? Maybe it's time for you to RE-LIVE the relationship you're having with her... It might be true that sometimes a partner might be more interested in some other activities than yourself.. But that certainly doesn't mean you can't take up the initiative to work on your relationship....? A tea that has turned cold on the table, you can heat it up... Don't have to leave it cold and bitter... Leaving things just the way they are and acknowledging little responsibilities to things would only cause the relationship to drift apart with time....? -
one cannot get the best of both worlds de.Originally posted by M©+square:Once again, if words are easily understood and heeded.
Easy to say, hard to act.
By knowing moral values, and the will to overwrite Emotional struggles are not impossible. But, i have to say. It takes alot to make that decision.
good luck to him if his wife ever find out. -
Originally posted by starlight_dm:I got a very good friend at my workplace. Though we are both married, we talk and share a lot. Can talk anything under the sun. We share our sorrows , happiness and many personal things. I feels that she cares for me. When I am down, she will also try to talk to me and give a pat on the shoulder. Vice versa. To an extend, I realized I talk to her more than talking to my wife. We also go out quite often (just 2 of us). I will buy her gifts and meals. She will buy me tie, watch, makan etc. Our actions and behavior are just like a any couple. At times, she will even be upset with me if I dun treat her well.
When I am overseas, I will email her daily. During nights and weekends, we will sms one another. Occassionally, we will go out for a walk or for a meal. More recently, I feel so attached to her that I feel uncomfortable not seeing her for just one day!
As for my wfe, we dun talk much. She is also not sensitive type. Think she is more interested in her tv programme than talking to me.
On one hand, I am very fortunate to have such a good friend. On the other hand, I sensed that I begin to like her. Dun get me wrong, we did not engaged in sexual related activity. I dun want to break up her family but I can't control my emotion at times.
Can someone give me some constructive advice what I should do?
Do you realise that all these thingy should be channelled to your wife, in which it would probably work towards a fulfilling marriage?
You are providing excuses to yourself to avoid putting the commitment into your own chosen marriage. You think your wife is more interested in her TV programs than you - have you not done anything, like you did for your good friend, to blossom your own love?
You are playing with fire my friend - because should there be a day when crisis slam into your marriage - you will run away incontrovertibly and turn to her for emotional support. This escape, when in fact you should be standing firm and fight the adversary of circumstances, will cause your love to abate gradually.
This is the effect of love after marriage - I vaguely recalled an astrological phenomenon regarding this issue (Moon Square Uranus) - about people falling in love after marriage.
Your feeling is a sign that you should focus more ATTENTION and AFFECTION towards your wife. You don't have to avoid your good friend, just spent more time and resource on your wife because she is your woman. Of course, if the feeling is overwhelming, then avoid putting yourself into tricky predicament which you reckon you cannot possibly handle. If you don't wish to save yourself and prefer to indulge in this sweet torment, you will face whatever consequence it will stir from beneath.
Behind every love's defeat - begins from a simple excuse. Should you neglect your marriage due to a simple friendship, this friendship is no longer simple.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Hello Yunhair.. Had your lunch....?? < Do you realise that all these thingy should be channelled to your wife, in which it would probably work towards a fulfilling marriage?
You are providing excuses to yourself to avoid putting the commitment into your own chosen marriage. You think your wife is more interested in her TV programs than you - have you not done anything, like you did for your good friend, to blossom your own love?
[b]You are playing with fire my friend - because should there be a day when crisis slam into your marriage - you will run away incontrovertibly and turn to her for emotional support. This escape, when in fact you should be standing firm and fight the adversary of circumstances, will cause your love to abate gradually.
This is the effect of love after marriage - I vaguely recalled an astrological phenomenon regarding this issue (Moon Square Uranus) - about people falling in love after marriage.
Your feeling is a sign that you should focus more ATTENTION and AFFECTION towards your wife. You don't have to avoid your good friend, just spent more time and resource on your wife because she is your woman. Of course, if the feeling is overwhelming, then avoid putting yourself into tricky predicament which you reckon you cannot possibly handle. If you don't wish to save yourself and prefer to indulge in this sweet torment, you will face whatever consequence it will stir from beneath.
Behind every love's defeat - begins from a simple excuse. Should you neglect your marriage due to a simple friendship, this friendship is no longer simple.
Cheers[/b]> -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hello Yunhair.. Had your lunch....?? <> *Douse Devil with holy water*
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Do you realise that all these thingy should be channelled to your wife, in which it would probably work towards a fulfilling marriage?
You are providing excuses to yourself to avoid putting the commitment into your own chosen marriage. You think your wife is more interested in her TV programs than you - have you not done anything, like you did for your good friend, to blossom your own love?
[b]You are playing with fire my friend - because should there be a day when crisis slam into your marriage - you will run away incontrovertibly and turn to her for emotional support. This escape, when in fact you should be standing firm and fight the adversary of circumstances, will cause your love to abate gradually.
This is the effect of love after marriage - I vaguely recalled an astrological phenomenon regarding this issue (Moon Square Uranus) - about people falling in love after marriage.
Your feeling is a sign that you should focus more ATTENTION and AFFECTION towards your wife. You don't have to avoid your good friend, just spent more time and resource on your wife because she is your woman. Of course, if the feeling is overwhelming, then avoid putting yourself into tricky predicament which you reckon you cannot possibly handle. If you don't wish to save yourself and prefer to indulge in this sweet torment, you will face whatever consequence it will stir from beneath.
Behind every love's defeat - begins from a simple excuse. Should you neglect your marriage due to a simple friendship, this friendship is no longer simple.
Cheers[/b]
wow wow one sentence says it all.