For the divorced men or girls dating divorced men...
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Dears,
I am currently still considering going out with a divorced man.
He is 8 years older than me, a COE of a renowned food restaurant, divorced 2 years ago and has a 5-year old daughter under his custody.
I am fine with the kid thingy but i am wondering if the kid is fine with me.
It's bilateral divorce; mutual agreement which his ex wife is still in touch with him and they are still friends.
Any experienced you will like to share? Before I say 'Yes' to him. -
your choice.
You can only think about the issues and consequence for yourself in your own situation. Other people's experience might not be applicable to your case. -
He propose already? YOU are ready ready for it???? Not saying becoz of a failure of a marriage he's a bad guy, some man do end up being a even better husband in the 2nd marriage THAT is if they learn from the mistake of the 1st.....Originally posted by dunamis:Dears,
I am currently still considering going out with a divorced man.
He is 8 years older than me, a COE of a renowned food restaurant, divorced 2 years ago and has a 5-year old daughter under his custody.
I am fine with the kid thingy but i am wondering if the kid is fine with me.
It's bilateral divorce; mutual agreement which his ex wife is still in touch with him and they are still friends.
Any experienced you will like to share? Before I say 'Yes' to him.
Another point of consideration.....
You may think it's will be ok for now with the kid but honestly its not
easy being a step mum....
->if you discipline the kid, others may label you as the
evil stepmum ....
-> but if you leave the kid alone, others may say you dun care, and the boi turn out bad you will be labelled as the cause of it....
what abt when you have kids of yr own, can you really care equally for both kids??
Gal, a marriage is abt union of families....not merely union of 2 individuals........
think doubly hard before taking the BIG STEP pls!
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How long have you known each other?Originally posted by dunamis:Dears,
I am currently still considering going out with a divorced man.
He is 8 years older than me, a COE of a renowned food restaurant, divorced 2 years ago and has a 5-year old daughter under his custody.
I am fine with the kid thingy but i am wondering if the kid is fine with me.
It's bilateral divorce; mutual agreement which his ex wife is still in touch with him and they are still friends.
Any experienced you will like to share? Before I say 'Yes' to him.
Why the 'consideration'...?
You don't really know him that well...? Your feelings for him ain't really that deep...?
Because he's a COE of a renowned food restaurant...? -
We get to know each other for 5 months, through a business deal. I do have feelings for him. No joke. Both of us like each other. His ex wife knew about it and did not post any resistance. He seems healthy and mentally sound to me. He has been asking me if there is any possible advancement for us but I really donÂ’t know.Originally posted by Devil1976:How long have you known each other?
Why the 'consideration'...?
You don't really know him that well...? Your feelings for him ain't really that deep...?
Because he's a COE of a renowned food restaurant...?
What Pinkygal stated are my thoughts. They are practical thoughts.
Is he still suitable for marriage again based on his bad record or I will find out after I marry him? It will be too late...Courtship and marriage is 2 different experienceÂ…
Would I be given the sole rights to discipline his daughter? Will the daughter accept me as a replacement for her mum? I don't have friends who have step parents so I can't understand their thinking. Would it be better for the kid to live with or without a stepmother?
Come'on DevilÂ… would you date a divorce woman with a kid in her custody?
You seriously don't mind?
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COE?
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Haha...did i say that?Originally posted by dcx:COE?
Its Chief Executive Officer (CEO)
You trying to be funny or is it me? -
gal..... i am sure devil wont mind dating a ravishing looking divorce womanOriginally posted by dunamis:We get to know each other for 5 months, through a business deal. I do have feelings for him. No joke. Both of us like each other. His ex wife knew about it and did not post any resistance. He seems healthy and mentally sound to me. He has been asking me if there is any possible advancement for us but I really donÂ’t know.
What Pinkygal stated are my thoughts. They are practical thoughts.
Is he still suitable for marriage again based on his bad record or I will find out after I marry him? It will be too late...Courtship and marriage is 2 different experienceÂ…
Would I be given the sole rights to discipline his daughter? Will the daughter accept me as a replacement for her mum? I don't have friends who have step parents so I can't understand their thinking. Would it be better for the kid to live with or without a stepmother?
Come'on DevilÂ… would you date a divorce woman with a kid in her custody?
You seriously don't mind?
but again hor Date is Date only....is Devil going to end up marrying her?
Is he ready to takes on the responsiblity of caring for her child as his own.....that is questionable
Assuming that you are of marriagable age, you even want to try to date this man? Could be a TOTAL WASTE OF his and yr TIME & Emotions if you are not looking at a marriage in the near future!?!?!
one of the chanllenges that you may face is....whether you can tahan the ex wife contacting the man even now and than! Are you the suspicious sort?
Are you sure your mind wont go wandering why they are still much in contact
after the divorce...... you may say you wont mind now....but you sure you wont
mind later....... just think hard.....but again its your life and your choice -
first thing since you actually know the ex wife, and shes alright with you jsut ask her how was it like etc. esp the cuase of divorce.Originally posted by dunamis:We get to know each other for 5 months, through a business deal. I do have feelings for him. No joke. Both of us like each other. His ex wife knew about it and did not post any resistance. He seems healthy and mentally sound to me. He has been asking me if there is any possible advancement for us but I really donÂ’t know.
What Pinkygal stated are my thoughts. They are practical thoughts.
Is he still suitable for marriage again based on his bad record or I will find out after I marry him? It will be too late...Courtship and marriage is 2 different experienceÂ…
Would I be given the sole rights to discipline his daughter? Will the daughter accept me as a replacement for her mum? I don't have friends who have step parents so I can't understand their thinking. Would it be better for the kid to live with or without a stepmother?
Come'on DevilÂ… would you date a divorce woman with a kid in her custody?
You seriously don't mind?
the child you can try parenting her first while you are "dating" -
Dear, your questions are very hard to answer.... I don't know leh and have to weigh the risk before trying to date him. Of course, if i really date him, he is a potential husband too...along with a kid. Package deal huh?Originally posted by pinkygal76:Assuming that you are of marriagable age, you even want to try to date this man? Could be a TOTAL WASTE OF his and yr TIME & Emotions if you are not looking at a marriage in the near future!?!?!
one of the chanllenges that you may face is....whether you can tahan the ex wife contacting the man even now and than! Are you the suspicious sort?
Are you sure your mind wont go wandering why they are still much in contact
after the divorce...... you may say you wont mind now....but you sure you wont
mind later....... just think hard.....but again its your life and your choice
If he really goes back to his ex-wife, i also bo bian. My turn to divorce?
Think tooo much....getting irrational.
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Possible.Originally posted by dunamis:We get to know each other for 5 months, through a business deal. I do have feelings for him. No joke. Both of us like each other. His ex wife knew about it and did not post any resistance. He seems healthy and mentally sound to me. He has been asking me if there is any possible advancement for us but I really donÂ’t know.
What Pinkygal stated are my thoughts. They are practical thoughts.
Is he still suitable for marriage again based on his bad record or I will find out after I marry him? It will be too late...Courtship and marriage is 2 different experienceÂ…
Would I be given the sole rights to discipline his daughter? Will the daughter accept me as a replacement for her mum? I don't have friends who have step parents so I can't understand their thinking. Would it be better for the kid to live with or without a stepmother?
Come'on DevilÂ… would you date a divorce woman with a kid in her custody?
You seriously don't mind? -
Since when I become the subject of this topic?Originally posted by pinkygal76:gal..... i am sure devil wont mind dating a ravishing looking divorce woman
but again hor Date is Date only....is Devil going to end up marrying her?
Is he ready to takes on the responsiblity of caring for her child as his own.....that is questionable
Assuming that you are of marriagable age, you even want to try to date this man? Could be a TOTAL WASTE OF his and yr TIME & Emotions if you are not looking at a marriage in the near future!?!?!
one of the chanllenges that you may face is....whether you can tahan the ex wife contacting the man even now and than! Are you the suspicious sort?
Are you sure your mind wont go wandering why they are still much in contact
after the divorce...... you may say you wont mind now....but you sure you wont
mind later....... just think hard.....but again its your life and your choice
As of now, I've no intention for marriage to come. How the child and I would go... I think should very much depends on how well both of us can get along or 'click'...? I think it's certainly not practical to give you a 'yes' or 'no' answer at this point... -
ai yo.....not making you the subject la.....just making you the representation of the general male species laOriginally posted by Devil1976:Since when I become the subject of this topic?
As of now, I've no intention for marriage to come. How the child and I would go... I think should very much depends on how well both of us can get along or 'click'...? I think it's certainly not practical to give you a 'yes' or 'no' answer at this point...
no offence hor! 
yap...i guess its best for her to take baby steps at a time towards the relationship....observe before making her next move.....dun think and worry too much..... who knows wat is in store for you.
However will recommend that she thinks with her heart and her mind concurrently... bu yao gan qing yong shi and regret for the rest of her life ! -
Originally posted by dunamis:Dears,
I am currently still considering going out with a divorced man.
He is 8 years older than me, a COE of a renowned food restaurant, divorced 2 years ago and has a 5-year old daughter under his custody.
I am fine with the kid thingy but i am wondering if the kid is fine with me.
It's bilateral divorce; mutual agreement which his ex wife is still in touch with him and they are still friends.
Any experienced you will like to share? Before I say 'Yes' to him.
I can roughly scan your birth chart for you, that's if you wish. But I would need the following information.
1) Date of Birth
2) Time of Birth
3) Place of Birth
Cheers -
He's a COE???Originally posted by dunamis:Dears,
I am currently still considering going out with a divorced man.
He is 8 years older than me, a COE of a renowned food restaurant, divorced 2 years ago and has a 5-year old daughter under his custody.
I am fine with the kid thingy but i am wondering if the kid is fine with me.
It's bilateral divorce; mutual agreement which his ex wife is still in touch with him and they are still friends.
Any experienced you will like to share? Before I say 'Yes' to him. -
U develop feeling base on he can give u a good life? U may think is pratical but that is not the ultimate reason for u to love him! If he is just a small clerk in the restaurant ,will u ever take a look at him? Not to mention,he is abt to divorce plus a package of a child of 5 years old??Originally posted by dunamis:We get to know each other for 5 months, through a business deal. I do have feelings for him. No joke. Both of us like each other. His ex wife knew about it and did not post any resistance. He seems healthy and mentally sound to me. He has been asking me if there is any possible advancement for us but I really donÂ’t know.
What Pinkygal stated are my thoughts. They are practical thoughts.
Is he still suitable for marriage again based on his bad record or I will find out after I marry him? It will be too late...Courtship and marriage is 2 different experienceÂ…
Would I be given the sole rights to discipline his daughter? Will the daughter accept me as a replacement for her mum? I don't have friends who have step parents so I can't understand their thinking. Would it be better for the kid to live with or without a stepmother?
Come'on DevilÂ… would you date a divorce woman with a kid in her custody?
You seriously don't mind?
If u look at him just becos of his status,I bet you consider this r/s.. Never put the criteria of pratical in yr r/s in the first place! It will never works. -
can see that one of your main problem is going past that child of his. its really hard to see whether the child might accept u as a step mother.
if movies and tv shows does count, you are not the villian in the breakup of the dad and mum, so the girl might not see u evil. maybe more bonding and u'll see if the little girl likes u. 5 years old and i guess she doesn't really know much things around her.. treat her nice and she'll accept u just like her father. =) -
pardon me..... it DOES pay to be practical sometimes....Originally posted by Simpleheat:U develop feeling base on he can give u a good life? U may think is pratical but that is not the ultimate reason for u to love him! If he is just a small clerk in the restaurant ,will u ever take a look at him? Not to mention,he is abt to divorce plus a package of a child of 5 years old??
If u look at him just becos of his status,I bet you consider this r/s.. Never put the criteria of pratical in yr r/s in the first place! It will never works.
you have a choice to disagree
but personally i think marriage is no joke and being in the "marriageable" age
i would not think any gal would want to go into a relationship which there are
situation she is not comfortable with....my 2 cents worth -
Go for it la..
Past dont mean anything..
But u cant become a wicked foster mother -
Someone mention marriage is not abt 2 person but 2 families which is definitely very very true.
So have to consider whether the family will accept the guy or not. -
These words say it all... so I can say' it does not pay to be practical sometimes...' Don't you agree? By looking at the money first prioirty is dangerous.Originally posted by pinkygal76:pardon me..... it DOES pay to be practical sometimes....
you have a choice to disagree
but personally i think marriage is no joke and being in the "marriageable" age
i would not think any gal would want to go into a relationship which there are
situation she is not comfortable with....my 2 cents worth -
Dear Dunamis,
On what grounds were they divorced? And you?
Is it because he being CEO, busy and all, do not have time for his wife? And over time, drifted apart?
When you appeared, because of work dealings, fitted into his busy schedule and hence got a chance to develop and know each other? -
yeah, know why they are divorced in the 1st place....it may affect u in the future too.Originally posted by Magnus:Dear Dunamis,
On what grounds were they divorced? And you?
Is it because he being CEO, busy and all, do not have time for his wife? And over time, drifted apart?
When you appeared, because of work dealings, fitted into his busy schedule and hence got a chance to develop and know each other? -
wha...CEO of a food restaurant...next time we go outing there...can get discount or not?Originally posted by dunamis:Dears,
I am currently still considering going out with a divorced man.
He is 8 years older than me, a COE of a renowned food restaurant, divorced 2 years ago and has a 5-year old daughter under his custody.
I am fine with the kid thingy but i am wondering if the kid is fine with me.
It's bilateral divorce; mutual agreement which his ex wife is still in touch with him and they are still friends.
Any experienced you will like to share? Before I say 'Yes' to him. -
We must learn to look at our relationship constructively by "listening" to both our heart and mind .... i do not want a situation where love is blind but marriage opens up your eyes.......Originally posted by Simpleheat:These words say it all... so I can say' it does not pay to be practical sometimes...' Don't you agree? By looking at the money first prioirty is dangerous.
oh again i dun think she is looking at $ as 1st priority
.....its just a bonus that he is a CEO but his marital status does disturb her....
At my age of 30 ( assuming forumite is of my age)....i will not jump into relationship becoz of the physical or wealth attraction factor...... it should be an all round valuation of the compatibility of both parties.