ADVISE ON WORK!! ARGH!!
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Hi guys/gals,
Need your advice. I just started working in a new company and is a Manager who has about thirty staff and supervisors under me.
The thing is..for the first day, all my supervisors were really friendly to me and even guided me along on the workings of the company.
However, it seems I made a mistake on that day. I tried to give a lift to one of them home. As I am much younger than them, in my 20s and driving a sports car, it seems that they have the thinking that I am trying to show off to them.
The next day, there seem to be a change in their attitude. They all seem very wary of me and rather reserved. I even caught one of them trying to wink to another behind my back.
Am I thinking too much into it? I was just being helpful to give them a lift. Nothing to indicate that I was trying to show off??
Even though I am their superior, but it seems that no matter how much I tried to break the ice, it seems that they are always so wary of me.
I am rather tall and of 'ang moh' built, 1.86m and bulky. Whereas most of my colleagues are rather small built. Do you think this is a barrier too?
I am really unhappy with my current job. It just makes me so 'sad' to be 'unpopular'.
I have a manager who is more senior than me. And most of them will go to him instead of me, even though I have tried to help them.
Damn sian, whenever I think I have to go to work..
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U need to take out a pen and paper..
Take down the gals whos gonna give their particulars later -
New manager are always unpopular. Maciam school dm mah...
You just need to be yourself. If you think you have not done anything wrong, then so be it. Just be yourself. -
How long have you been working there? You do know that building a relationship with colleagues are not formed overnight right? One day does NOT determine anything. It may not be a good 1st impression, but you have many working days to show them who you are. DO not let one day dampen what could be a very rewarding and fruitful career and "family" in the work enviornment.
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you are still new to the company mah.
dun be disheartened.. u need time to build rapport with them. -
Originally posted by Chrysalis_Guy:Hi guys/gals,
Need your advice. I just started working in a new company and is a Manager who has about thirty staff and supervisors under me.
The thing is..for the first day, all my supervisors were really friendly to me and even guided me along on the workings of the company.
However, it seems I made a mistake on that day. I tried to give a lift to one of them home. As I am much younger than them, in my 20s and driving a sports car, it seems that they have the thinking that I am trying to show off to them.
The next day, there seem to be a change in their attitude. They all seem very wary of me and rather reserved. I even caught one of them trying to wink to another behind my back.
Am I thinking too much into it? I was just being helpful to give them a lift. Nothing to indicate that I was trying to show off??
Even though I am their superior, but it seems that no matter how much I tried to break the ice, it seems that they are always so wary of me.
I am rather tall and of 'ang moh' built, 1.86m and bulky. Whereas most of my colleagues are rather small built. Do you think this is a barrier too?
I am really unhappy with my current job. It just makes me so 'sad' to be 'unpopular'.
I have a manager who is more senior than me. And most of them will go to him instead of me, even though I have tried to help them.
Damn sian, whenever I think I have to go to work.. 
hmmm.....
All these questions on are they thinking that you're a show off, you're bigger in size are all from your own thinking perspective.
To know why they are so wary, I guess you really have to ASK THEM WHY. Ask a few to see what's going on, find out the reason. Reason that they are wary, I also suspect there's stifled communication when you're around, is because of the lack of trust.
How do you build trust?
Say what you mean. Do what you say. (Quote from Jack Welch)
Try to practice candor and instil candor.
There's no shortcuts to building good relationships. -
Thanks for the reply. With regards to your sentence: " I guess you really have to ASK THEM WHY. Ask a few to see what's going on"Originally posted by Parka: hmmm.....
All these questions on are they thinking that you're a show off, you're bigger in size are all from your own thinking perspective.
To know why they are so wary, I guess you really have to ASK THEM WHY. Ask a few to see what's going on, find out the reason. Reason that they are wary, I also suspect there's stifled communication when you're around, is because of the lack of trust.
How do you build trust?
Say what you mean. Do what you say. (Quote from Jack Welch)
Try to practice candor and instil candor.
There's no shortcuts to building good relationships.
--> For this, I dun tink it's feasible because, seriously saying, they will find it odd or even awkward that I am posing this question to them.
At the same time, most of them won't be so candid as to tell me the real reason. They are just too worried that Management will blacklist them. I guess I will have to convince them.
However, frankly speaking, the tasks that was given to me by my senior manager was to monitor them at this time. That makes it even worse for me to communicate/develop rapport with them because they know that I am monitoring them on their sales performance.
It's been two weeks since I joined. -
Seriously saying, I really tried to be myself and dun care. However, if it's really this case, then I cant be a manager. I really ought to build rapport with them. Guess I have to put in more effort.Originally posted by mhcampboy:New manager are always unpopular. Maciam school dm mah...
You just need to be yourself. If you think you have not done anything wrong, then so be it. Just be yourself.
But it just gets damn frustrating that you have not done anything to them, and they are still treating me this way. ARGH -
I have been there since two weeks ago. I have tried all ways to be friendly with them. Chatting with them, friendly, even putting a smile with all my enquiries or conversation with them etc. But it's just that they are still so wary.Originally posted by Bontakun:How long have you been working there? You do know that building a relationship with colleagues are not formed overnight right? One day does NOT determine anything. It may not be a good 1st impression, but you have many working days to show them who you are. DO not let one day dampen what could be a very rewarding and fruitful career and "family" in the work enviornment.
My current task of monitoring them makes it worse. Why do people always associate 'rich' with show off/proud etc? Is it a sin?
I own what I have not through my dad but from my hard work. I was just giving them a lift. What's wrong? The very next day, one of the supervisors actually asked me whether I lived in private estate/ etc etc..and so curious to ask me personal questions..damn..
When I gave instructions to them, I once caught one of the supervisors winking to the other..as if I was up to something..
Maybe I am thinking too hard into it..but I am sure their attitude changed ever since that day. Their expressions, when they saw my car, was like so shocked. And the whole trip, they became so quiet (two of them), even though I tried to be jovial and tried to create conversations.
Once I gave my big boss a ride. Kena seen by one of the supervisors. Think they also think I am carrying balls.
Damn.......few hours later, I gotta meet them again..
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you've in fact gain popularity by just being unpopular? lolx...
well, i think its time you patch things back when you have the right chance... they're not being bad to you, i think its rather being inferior!
try asking all of them out for a drink or something? let them know your real self outside... get more involved in their activities, office always has their politics, so you kinda gotta be smart when dealing with them...
dont give a damn about the supervisors.. kiasu
i think your situation takes time to amend, so in the meantime dont try so hard in trying to winback their hearts, just be yourself and thats it
just my two cents worth -
Sell your "sports car", and buy a Picanto..., even better a Proton Wira...
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Since this's the "Casus Belli" of your current situations. -
early 20s and a manager in charged of 30 over staff.
ler sibei aye sai!!!
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MAC or KFC loh..., floor manager...Originally posted by dragg:early 20s and a manager in charged of 30 over staff.
ler sibei aye sai!!! -
Ask urself, what kind of a manager would u wana have if u were a staff.
the brand of ur car and ur body build is not the cuase of this problem at all.
to mix well with ur staff u have to be a staff yourself.
do not have the mentality that u are a manager when u speak to them.
complaining about ur company magement while chit chatting with them sometimes helps.
try to find a excuse to join some of them for lunches. like myb give them an excuse that ur gf fly ur kite so u have to eat alone today. and dun u go telling them u treat. just simply ask them to bring u to a place that serves good food ard that area.
i believe every1 has their own persoanl email from the company rite. make use of this bloody email. Send them jokes u receive from ur frds. spread the laughter. eventually they will loosen up when u are around.
Imply leadership when its needed, like when somethings are meant to be done, tell them they have to do it. Some ppl will climb on top of ur head if u are too chin cai. and dun be over b@st@rd commanding them what to do or even tell them to do things and u dun lay a finger to help. if u guys are a team, u farking work as a team. it doesnt matter who takes charge here as long as end of the day, u guys can provide something good.
during meetings pls ask for their genuine suggestion, try to use some of them, make them feel that u are actually listening to them.
I'm not a manager, but this is just a simple leadership skill i learnt from my previous boss. hope this helps. -
They are jealous of you. Try not to be too outstanding in your dressing and styling. Usually too pretty gals will be unpopular among gals and I think for too charming guy will also be unpopular among guys too.
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they are just jealous.
Studies has show that all guys are much more successful, earning 20% more in their salaries -
Haha... U think that's bad?Originally posted by Chrysalis_Guy:I have been there since two weeks ago. I have tried all ways to be friendly with them. Chatting with them, friendly, even putting a smile with all my enquiries or conversation with them etc. But it's just that they are still so wary.
My current task of monitoring them makes it worse. Why do people always associate 'rich' with show off/proud etc? Is it a sin?
I own what I have not through my dad but from my hard work. I was just giving them a lift. What's wrong? The very next day, one of the supervisors actually asked me whether I lived in private estate/ etc etc..and so curious to ask me personal questions..damn..
When I gave instructions to them, I once caught one of the supervisors winking to the other..as if I was up to something..
Maybe I am thinking too hard into it..but I am sure their attitude changed ever since that day. Their expressions, when they saw my car, was like so shocked. And the whole trip, they became so quiet (two of them), even though I tried to be jovial and tried to create conversations.
Once I gave my big boss a ride. Kena seen by one of the supervisors. Think they also think I am carrying balls.
Damn.......few hours later, I gotta meet them again..
I last time interned in a local SME. But I dun deny i'm from a well-off family. N at times when my dad goes overseas for work, i'll drive the car to office.
It's not that of a great car, only a Lexus SUV. But it's same brand as my CEO, only 1 model lower. My CEO was driving the GS300. Just cos I drive such a car, my direct colleagues started looking at me differently! :O
I got on well with the CEO, in fact, I get along very well with upper management coz I can understand their issues and challenges and they appreciate and can understand my inputs and contributions. But my colleagues in my department didn't like me after 2-3 weeks. Stuck-up & show-off? I dun think so, coz I get along very well with other departments. My department is so quiet, i feel painful inside coz I'm a very outgoing and gregarious type of person. I have to constantly find the other departments to chit chat, de-stress and keep my sanity.
Maybe because I met the CEO at some conference and we discussed the possibility of internship at his company during my uni hols. And I was placed in this particular department to identify areas to improve, to streamline, to change etc. N my direct manager saw me as a threat (even though I'm only an intern? HELLO!). Needless to say, my work experience wasn't optimum but I made the best out of it and still delivered my recommendations and changes to be made to the CEO.
Bro Chrysalis, focus on what you were brought there for. Highlight your intentions to all your surbodinates and keep things focused. Demonstrate to them your willingness to learn but yet at the end of the day, they have to perform. You are not working for your colleagues.. you are working for your boss who is in-turn working for your customers. Do remember that always. Some pple will see that you are rich and just want a reason to spite you.. or maybe just being a uni-graduate. I guess you have to take all this in stride.
Be professional yet nice n caring in all your dealings. I suppose be firm in your actions. Seek more feedback from your surbodinates. I would recommend personal interviews and increased empowerment of subordinates. This was what I have been asking myself when I was in a sucky department - 'what would I do if iwere the manager to make this department shine more?'.
I suppose in my eg, i could have done more, but i'm only an intern n it's not my position to rock the boat too much. I can recommend and propose, but it's ultimately up to my manager to want to listen to me. Well at least, my CEO listens. If i was a full time stuff.. I would definitely be more aggressive and dare to step on pple's toes coz my ultimate loyalty is still to the company as a whole and not to any particular person. Do remember that!
There will always be a diff in thinking between staff and management. Exhibiting your ability to not only think and act like management but also to bridge the constant divide and diff betw these 2 segments will not only move your career ahead fast but also earn much respect!
Godspeed! -
Not early 20s. Already 27..Had some management experience while I was studying in the US and attached to a Finance Company as an Operations Executive over there at that time.Originally posted by dragg:early 20s and a manager in charged of 30 over staff.
ler sibei aye sai!!! -
Friend, nope..Working in a Financial Company now..Originally posted by VODKA KE0601:MAC or KFC loh..., floor manager... -
I would like to know more about the inductry and the field the thread starter is in. I wouldn't be jealous of you if i was one of the huys. basically i would like to know if you are heavily in debt paying and servicing the car's monthly instalments, and would like to know if you have at least a home you can call your very own that can provide shelter for you.
To me its just a supervisory position when one commands 30 staff. My god i have seen technicians and senior technicians in factories taking charge of more than 30! My previous employment the production supervisors already have to be responsible for more than 30 per shift...and if you ever have a chance to go countries like China...one shift the bell sounds change shift hundreds of workers come out for lunch or knock off ffrom work!
My previous employment the managers do not communicate with the juniors staffs direct unless its a big very big issue. Managers work with supervisors, engineers and their peers who are also at their managerial level.
Anyway some tips given by replies here may help. Join them for lunch, occasioanlly make a trip to their working site/ area to see how they are doing and query about any pending issues or imminent problems or barriers they encounter in their work. Also dress accordingly. If your role do not require meeting up with client/s or customers, moderate dressing should work fine so that they will not feel the gap between you. As for the car thing...sorry i can't help you since ppl may go for the brand name and speed they hardly ever need practically in the island of Sg. -
in my humble opinion, theres no need to care how others feel in this case so long ur conscience is clear.
as the saying goes..lu4 yao2 zhi1 ma3 li4 (noe the speed of the horse when the distance is far), ri4 jiu3 jian4 ren2 xin1 (noe the true character of the person over a period of time), some day later they will understand ur true intentions of giving them a lift.
for now, give them the benefit of doubt.
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Originally posted by Chrysalis_Guy:Seriously saying, I really tried to be myself and dun care. However, if it's really this case, then I cant be a manager. I really ought to build rapport with them. Guess I have to put in more effort.
But it just gets damn frustrating that you have not done anything to them, and they are still treating me this way. ARGH Do not be yourself if you're not a skillful manager to start with. All actions comes with reactions. There are tons of management tools and skills out there. You have to learn them and apply and see the results for yourself. -
Originally posted by Chrysalis_Guy:Thanks for the reply. With regards to your sentence: " I guess you really have to ASK THEM WHY. Ask a few to see what's going on"
--> For this, I dun tink it's feasible because, seriously saying, they will find it odd or even awkward that I am posing this question to them.
At the same time, most of them won't be so candid as to tell me the real reason. They are just too worried that Management will blacklist them. I guess I will have to convince them.
However, frankly speaking, the tasks that was given to me by my senior manager was to monitor them at this time. That makes it even worse for me to communicate/develop rapport with them because they know that I am monitoring them on their sales performance.
It's been two weeks since I joined. Again, you're thinking from your own perspective. When you ask them why they are behaving negatively, you are sending them a signal. You're telling them that you know that they are behaving negatively towards you. See if they have a job problem or personal problem then offer your help. Naturally, they won't tell you, but it's important to let them know that you're there to help.
Not asking them, not finding out the problem is the easy way out. But it doesn't solve the problem. By not being candid, i.e. by not asking them, you're just avoiding the problem. Just probe once in a while, while not appearing to be pushy.
What's so hard about monitoring? Again, tell them frankly that they are under your supervision and monitor. Tell them the target they need to reach and their responsibilities. It's their responsibility to hit the sales target.
2 weeks is still short. It's just like studying in a new class, everyone starts to know one another slowly and then build trust.
PS. I'm prefer western management more, hence most of the advice I give are typically "in your face" and straightforward type. -
Must be firm towards your staffs. Firm but not agressive. But don't be too nice to them also. Too nice they will take advantage and sh*t on you. That's what happen to me during my early days as a Manager who just joined the MNC. Must make them listen and respect you when you talk. But of course such things will go according your way overnight.. need time.. You are new to the Company, you need most of your staffs' guidance and support (who's been in the Company earlier than you). Most importantly, you must know your job well, know what you're talking about when talking to them. Be firm. Only then people will start to respect you. By giving them a lift home during your first few days in the company, you're indirectly letting them to sh*t on your head.Originally posted by Chrysalis_Guy:Hi guys/gals,
Need your advice. I just started working in a new company and is a Manager who has about thirty staff and supervisors under me.
The thing is..for the first day, all my supervisors were really friendly to me and even guided me along on the workings of the company.
However, it seems I made a mistake on that day. I tried to give a lift to one of them home. As I am much younger than them, in my 20s and driving a sports car, it seems that they have the thinking that I am trying to show off to them.
The next day, there seem to be a change in their attitude. They all seem very wary of me and rather reserved. I even caught one of them trying to wink to another behind my back.
Am I thinking too much into it? I was just being helpful to give them a lift. Nothing to indicate that I was trying to show off??
Even though I am their superior, but it seems that no matter how much I tried to break the ice, it seems that they are always so wary of me.
I am rather tall and of 'ang moh' built, 1.86m and bulky. Whereas most of my colleagues are rather small built. Do you think this is a barrier too?
I am really unhappy with my current job. It just makes me so 'sad' to be 'unpopular'.
I have a manager who is more senior than me. And most of them will go to him instead of me, even though I have tried to help them.
Damn sian, whenever I think I have to go to work.. -
I think you too fast in fitting in. You gotta give it time. Know your individual staff. Get a rough idea of them, their characters and how they do things. Anything you dun know u ask but then must make sure that u appreciate thier help. Then u must make them aware that you are also monitoring everyones performence hence making them wonder if u are gonna give them brownie points , or just using them.Because you are manager , you have to be confident in decision makings and if u make mistake you must bear the responsibility so they will see that you are not THAT bad. Thier perception towards you will change eventually , give it time and do what u gotta do and do what u have to do. The older ppl in companies always not so keen on being under younger supervision. Even now i also almost two years not everyone in the company likes me. Thats just how it is. U cant have everyone like you.. but u can have ur own posse's and those that are against u will soon know that against u.. they stay where they are n dun expect anything much from you. They are either with u.. or not. Simple. Just make sure ur boss likes u and u got ur own posse's that can see ur capabilities and benefits of following you and working WITH you.
thats just how it is.