friendship problem
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Hi. I am asking behalf of my friend who recently has friendship problem with her close friend. Let just name my friend A and her close friend B. They have been close friends for 1 and a half years, ppl around them, including me, always assume they r very close buddies, those u can confide to. Once i was helping A with her blog template and settings and so i came across her blog. She told me the address btw so i am allowed to visit her blog. There is this post on friend B. And being amazed by what she meant that she hasn't got a true friend, i asked her for further details. Not so much of a busybody, but just a concern.
Anyway here comes the part that she told me this friend, B, aint very true to her and she doubt that she is the true friend she picture B to be. I was very surprised cuz B, who is also a friend of mine, is a very kind, caring, friendly and thoughtful person. She dun harbor bad intentions on anyone and is everyone's favourite person to get along with. So i disagree with A and further explain to her that it may be a misunderstanding. I certainly know its her choice and no one shall force or make decision for her.
But seriously, B has not done anything wrong and has always given us a positive image. She is the best friend anyone will wanna noe. To add on with, A and B 's friendship has been very very close all the while. B always help A out whenever she is in need and always stand by her, to me at least. But now, on the surface they seem real close but deep in A's heart, she dont feel the same. And i hope B dun feel the same either. I seriously wish to help them... although its not right for me to interfere. Afterall its their problem. But as a friend, I dun wish to see their friendship end just like dat. I dun want them to end up like me. Any suggestions to help out? Thx
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its between them.
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Oasis, you told us abt how nice B is ..but left out info on A like what kind of person she is.....
Perhaps the issue lies with A herself (ie, jealous of B etc etc) -
hi i certainly noe its between them and i should not interfere but i cant just see their friendship end lidat without a valid reason...Originally posted by mistyblue:its between them. -
its their choice, not yours to save. You can continue to be their friend.Originally posted by OasisBlue:hi i certainly noe its between them and i should not interfere but i cant just see their friendship end lidat without a valid reason...
You cannot force people's relationships -
hmm B is a very quiet and not a very sociable person... So finding a close friend means alot to her...So definitely B is very impt to her in the first place. I think its not more of jealousy but its more of assurance... she is insecure i suppose since she told me B dont care for her and often left her alone and went off with other friends which i dun see B doing so thoughOriginally posted by Mid9Sun:Oasis, you told us abt how nice B is ..but left out info on A like what kind of person she is.....
Perhaps the issue lies with A herself (ie, jealous of B etc etc) -
Ok then mistyblue is right to say its between them ultimately.Originally posted by OasisBlue:hmm B is a very quiet and not a very sociable person... So finding a close friend means alot to her...So definitely B is very impt to her in the first place. I think its not more of jealousy but its more of assurance... she is insecure i suppose since she told me B dont care for her and often left her alone and went off with other friends which i dun see B doing so though
However, I suppose you are in the position to assert some nfluence here and there.
Anywhere, sounds like u need to slowly 'psycho' A ...build up her self confidence and reduce the insecurity and this will take time -
oh wellOriginally posted by mistyblue:its their choice, not yours to save. You can continue to be their friend.
You cannot force people's relationships
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Totally agreed. Outsiders will never know what is goin on in a friendship or relationship, unless both are willing to open up.Originally posted by mistyblue:its their choice, not yours to save. You can continue to be their friend.
You cannot force people's relationships
If you cant force people to treasure relationship, you think you can force people to treasure friendship?
Respect others' will. -
hmm gd suggestion thx alotOriginally posted by Mid9Sun:Ok then mistyblue is right to say its between them ultimately.
However, I suppose you are in the position to assert some nfluence here and there.
Anywhere, sounds like u need to slowly 'psycho' A ...build up her self confidence and reduce the insecurity and this will take time i m not sure how to go bout it though...she seems stress over it but to me she seems to be finding fault with B -
hmm yea i noe but i m not forcing... mb there is really a small misunderstanding??? it is not worth it to me...Originally posted by blu_sky:Totally agreed. Outsiders will never know what is goin on in a friendship or relationship, unless both are willing to open up.
If you cant force people to treasure relationship, you think you can force people to treasure friendship?
Respect others' will. -
i think i will have to know them before i can tell u what i feel about them.
some ple can seem v close but girl A may backstab guy B (a real example).
It happened.. I really no eyes see lor.. but I can't go kaypoh tell the victim mah.
many times we cannot see things from the surface..
the 80/20 rule..
80% of the ple in the world may like u, but 20% may not.
so it's not surprising also. -
sigh...but they really seem very close even now...they joke, laugh, play...i really wonder if wad A said is still validOriginally posted by browniebaobao:[color=indigo]i think i will have to know them before i can tell u what i feel about them.
some ple can seem v close but girl A may backstab guy B (a real example).
It happened.. I really no eyes see lor.. but I can't go kaypoh tell the victim mah.
many times we cannot see things from the surface..
the 80/20 rule..
80% of the ple in the world may like u, but 20% may not.
so it's not surprising also. /color]
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It's true that it's between them. Only they themselves will know.
No matter how close, good they are, a boundary will appear somewhere.
When that happens, differences in thoughts, actions, expectations will surface. You will be tested. -
hope they can overcome it... thxOriginally posted by Magnus:It's true that it's between them. Only they themselves will know.
No matter how close, good they are, a boundary will appear somewhere.
When that happens, differences in thoughts, actions, expectations will surface. You will be tested.